On a Valentine's Day
by purplebass
Summary: Set two years from now. Chuck and Blair surprise each other on Valentine's Day, and their gifts will change their lives completely. Their journey to become a family.
1. Blue

Hello everyone! I know I have to finish other fics, but I wanted to post this one. It's something different than the other stuff I wrote, a future fic. I hope you like it. I would be glad to read your comments :)

When she woke up that morning, the left side of the bed was empty.

She rubbed her eyes and stared at the hollow spot with sadness. She had hoped he wouldn't leave her that early, but she knew he had to work. It had always been like that for more than six months, the period they had started living together in a penthouse they bought to wish each other Merry Christmas in a non ordinary way.

She had chose the furniture, and he did choose just the details. He said she had charte blanche, he was sure whatever she'd chose it would've been lovely.

And in fact it went out lovely, their lovely place to hide when they didn't want anybody to disturb them.

Nothing like the open room at the Empire, this was really wider and they had their secret rooms to hide if someone they didn't want to see came to visit.

Her eyes glimmered a bit as she watched the streets outside of the window of the room.

It had been raining the whole night and there wasn't a glimpse of sunlight, but this didn't matter that day. It wouldn't ruin the magic of that cheesy holiday.

It was the day she'd been waiting for months, and her excitement was evident. Sometimes she considered that day even more important than her birthday just because more than presents, she was comforted about the feelings the people she loved felt for her.

She giggled like a little girl once Dorota got in her room with a medium box covered with red and pink paper and a big bow right on the center.

Blair's maid would come just to dry the laundry and cook, and especially that day Blair did want her there to prepare lunch for him. If he ever got to lunch with her. It was sad he barely had a free minute if not late at night and on week-ends.

Her feet moved uncontrollably on the carpet and she ignored the fact that she was bare foot and the floor was pretty cold, she needed to express her glee. She would look like a four year old if someone who wasn't used to her childlike way to show emotions watched the scene.

She ripped up all the colored paper to find that the box was empty.

Her happiness suddenly faded, and a pout appeared on her face as she thought the gift wasn't from the person she'd expected to. There had probably been a mistake.

She thought that there had to be a card with the name of the sender. She found the little white card buried under the ripped papers after a while she'd searched for it, and she was surprised it was blank as well. "What the... Dorota!" She called out for her maid. "Who sent this box?"

When Dorota arrived to her room she had the face of someone who knew too much, but she just answered she didn't know. "Doorman brought it five minutes ago." She shrugged her shoulders and nodded at the same time with a certain confidence that made Blair suspicious.

"Dorota." She pressed anxiously with rage, "Do you know something, do you?"

The maid shook her head with a confused look, but Blair didn't want to give up. She was on her feet before she could even say something and she reached her maid so close that she almost scared her. "You know something. Spill it Dorota!" She shook her shoulders.

The woman trembled in her arms and she smiled awkwardly. She bit her lip like someone who wasn't sure if she had to confess something or not. She looked around her with fear and Blair removed her hands from her arms, until she finally let it out. "Mr... Nate sent this."

Blair moved few paces back and turned to the window shaking her head, her curls moving from side to side as she tried hard to get why.

She and Nate hadn't been together in forever. They had broken up more than two years before, and so she thought he might had sent the box by mistake. But it was hollow... So it must have meant that he wanted her to use it? It was all so weird. It wasn't something Nate would do. She thought about it. Nate wasn't that creative to do something like that. What for?

She brought her hand on her chin as she tried to think about it. "It's empty." She said in a low voice as Dorota carefully watched her walking back and forth in her room. She shook her head as to shrug that thought out of her mind, and she got at Dorota back again. "This was the only one? There's not anymore?" She looked disappointed.

Dorota tried to smile but then she shook her head.

Blair fumed then. She rolled her eyes and punched the bed, then sit on the edge. She made a face and started to shook her head. "I can't believe he didn't send anything." She said, in her voice a tiny bit of rage. She clenched her fists in anxiety, and looked at her maid with fire in her eyes. "Why, Dorota? Why? I thought he would send something!"

She kept shaking her head uncontrollably as Dorota tried to give her an explanation. "Miss Blair, is still ten. Early. There's all the day to send box and roses."

"He forgot," Blair decided, getting up from her bed again. "He wants me out of this penthouse. He does. Yes, he does! Dorota! What can I do, Dorota?" She nervously bit her index finger and tried to keep herself calm but it looked impossible. She didn't know for the first time why it looked so important, but it did.

Truth was that he usually never forgot a date. A birthday, Christmas, and their anniversaries. He did remember even the monthly ones. He used to leave her a red rose on the pillow of their bed at the Empire when they slept there, when she stayed the night. Then he would call room service and woke her with a tray full of fruit and sweets that he knew she loved.

He would put relaxing music and prepare the bathtub filled with bubbles and essences just for her and then join her. And he would always sent roses over her place at Saint Valentine. It was some occasion he never missed.

The year before for instance, he'd sent her a conspicuous number of roses in her room that she found once she woke up. It had been a nice way to start the day, and when she went to visit him to his Hotel room to greet him, he would give her another present. She'd got a white gold necklace the year before, something that cost around 50,000 dollars.

He was never stingy.

She started wandering in the room while Dorota watched her not knowing what to do to calm her Miss down. She finally decided to go downstairs and prepare her a cup of tea, and Blair gladly accepted, adding that she was probably going to receive something soon.

Blair thought her maid wasn't that wrong after all, and so she decided to do something to occupy her time meanwhile.

She went to the bathroom to take a shower. She would surely go to the Empire to play the fake stupid and to see if he really had forgotten about V-Day, and if he did he was as hell a dead man. He couldn't escape her wrath. She would be hurt in the deep of her heart.

She closed herself in the bathroom and started to prepare the bathtub. How it would have been nice if he would be there with her. He would play with her curls and wash her back carefully, and she would do the same. Then they would stay into the water cuddling until the bubbles would disappear and they would move into her room to continue what they started in the tub, on her comfortable bed.

She looked at a paper on the wall, few things she remembered she didn't have to forget or it would be too late. It was something important that he didn't notice when he was in that room with her, washing his teeth or shaving his squared face. It was something usual to write down, she liked how he was so nonchalant with that matter like another person wouldn't do.

He gave her the space she needed, and rarely asked questions he knew were private between a woman and a man. Those little secrets a girl would be too shy to confide to her boyfriend.

She tried to avoid the note and what she wrote few days earlier, and she started to undress.

When she took off her nude slip she looked carefully at her tiny figure in the mirror.

She didn't know why that day the sight of her body that she still thought wasn't enough for him, caused her to think. She was still the same, and the edges of her hips and legs hadn't changed ever since she and him became an item. Indeed, they got better.

But she couldn't figure out why she was bothered, rather uneasy, at her vision. It didn't look like she had something out of place. She was beautiful. That's what he always said too.

She threw her panties into the clothes hamper and then slowly reached the bathtub to immerse her whole body.

The water was hot and she jolted at the warmth. She threw her head back on the edge and closed her eyes. She was surprised that she fell asleep, and when she woke up, she decided it was time to dress up for him.

She put her bathrobe on and stared in the mirror once again, this time to brush her hair. She lost at least fifteen minutes doing that, and she thought she had slept a lot in the bathtub so that when she would get back in the bedroom or the foyer, she would find flowers or at least a box full of chocolates or a fine piece of jewelery.

She wanted to and needed to. It was a simple demonstration of love, and he couldn't deny her that. He couldn't have forgot.

She went out of the room to get in the bedroom to get dressed and was annoyed that the room was still like she left it. She helplessly decided to get dressed once a several time had passed since her hot bath; nothing that looked like a gift was on its way.

She tried to distract herself from the thought that was Valentine's Day and she didn't receive anything yet by going out.

Serena was available. She was single, and to Blair's surprise, she would love to go shopping with her to buy anything that could make her friend happy.

….

"Can you believe it, S? He didn't even send a little card. Neither a flower." Blair complained to Serena in the afternoon. The two were walking to reach a new Dior store. Serena had suggested to go there, she knew that haute couture usually calmed Blair when she was upset.

Serena nodded and looked disappointed by the news. "This is so rude of him," she said bitterly. "I thought he was actually going to surprise you. That's something he would do."

Blair held her friend's arm tightly as she pushed the door of the store. Serena could feel her best friend's anger. "He will pay for it," she promised, and then she started to reason about punishments she would give him as Serena looked at her with approval, even though she was concerned when Blair mentioned she would handcuff him and leave him naked on their bed.

When Blair finally chose a red silk dress and some other shirts and skirts, she came back home but without Serena. She found out her friend had a date with a new guy, and had to go. Even Serena had somebody who gave her flowers.

Blair got upstairs soon to find the room unchanged. She didn't have high hopes, but she wished at least in a card. What she found was just the towel she threw in anger on the carpet few hours before.

She kicked her heels fast and threw her bag in the center of the big bed and stared for a while at the ceiling until she decided to take her phone.

No calls nor texts on that one either. She fumed in fury and thought about dealing his number and give him a wake up call, but she didn't want to do it just yet. She wanted to wait at least until the hour he usually got back from work. If he would get back home with nothing or worse, without remembering it was V-Day, there she would get mad.

She sighed one last time before drifting to sleep. She was angry but she was a bit tired too. She didn't know why. She hoped she wasn't getting sick.

She woke after a while thanks to Dorota. She had no idea the maid was still there. She usually got back to the Waldorf's penthouse after six o' clock, but this day looked different.

"Dorota..." She said with a sleepy tone. "Why are you still here... It's late." The maid was really closer to her face, and she smiled lightly at her.

Blair noticed she had a small box in her hands, and this made her sit down. "I was about to go. Doorman gave me this." She moved the little box in the air and Blair picked it up in excitement.

She was surprised, and this brightened her mood a bit. She took the box from Dorota's hands while the woman was watching her with wide eyes. She looked happy that a gift had finally arrived; she couldn't bear the rage of her dear Miss Blair if it didn't.

Blair took the little box on the bed and opened it carefully. It wasn't that big, but whatever was going to be inside, could have been enough to forgive the lateness.

She scratched the red paper and threw the bow away to explore the new box. She was disappointed again when she just found a card into the small package.

"What does this represent? A card?" She asked more to herself than Dorota.

The maid couldn't help but just shrug in response. She didn't have any idea.

Blair sighed and threw the card on the bed. "I want to be alone. You can go now, Dorota. Please." She said with a firm tone, unable to look at her. Dorota soon started to walk away and closed the door behind her.

She felt like she wanted to cry. It was almost dinner time and he still hadn't arrived yet.

She decided to examine the card in the end, and she noticed it was actually a Hotel card. It looked like the card of the Palace Hotel, but then she read it with attention to find it was from the Plaza.

What did it mean? He probably wanted her to go there, she thought.

She decided to give it a try, but she didn't know if it was from him. The box didn't have any sender, it could have been anybody.

She smiled at herself when she thought of the possibility, but she had just one boyfriend after all. Who would send her a card for the Plaza?

It wasn't like she was the desire of many men, or at least, that she was aware of.

She jumped off the bed and went to the bathroom to have another hot bath. If it was him who had send that, she would go to the date with a pleasant scent.

….

She had decided for the best look. She put on the dress she bought in the afternoon with Serena, a long dark red dress. She left her hair loosened on her shoulders, and put on a new white wool coat.

She was surprised the doorman had given her something. She was afraid to read it because she probably knew what it said. She had waited for it for days, she didn't particularly appreciated that it had arrived just before she would go to her date.

She opened it soon to read what was inside, and then with a worried expression she slid the letter into her clutch, and went to the curb where her car was waiting.

She would think about the letter next morning.

It was at almost nine when she reached the Plaza. She took the card out of her bag and went to the elevator. It took her to the penthouse soon, and she realized it as soon as the door opened in front of a luxury living room.

She widened her eyes in amusement. The penthouse looked amazing, even better than the one the Palace had. Well, this was the Plaza. She should have thought it was better.

She stepped into the foyer, and looked around. She wondered where he was. If he was there.

She stopped when she heard footsteps, and he appeared from behind a Greek column on the right that she was meanwhile checking.

She frowned in disapproval and he smirked back at her. He reached her soon, and his hand went on her hips as he kissed her cheek gently. "You are late," Blair complained.

He stepped a few inches back and studied her. He still had his smirk on, and he looked pleased by her complain. "But now I'm here. Disappointed?" He asked, his voice softer than ever.

She rolled her eyes and started to let go of her coat. He took it for her, and she was almost smiling when he did. He was such a gentleman that she couldn't help but being amused by his behavior. She put her clutch over the coat, and he took her hand.

She didn't know where they were going until she spotted a small table next to the enormous window who showed the street and the buildings nearby.

He lead her to her chair, and let her sit before he walked away into the room next to that one, to soon get back with something in his hand. Flowers. It were red roses, such a classic. He brought them to her and she examined them on the table, and she opened her mouth in surprise when she noticed a white rose at the center. She couldn't believe he was that romantic. Her pout dropped and she finally smiled a bit. "It's still too late," she complained.

Chuck rolled his eyes and a crooked smile appeared on his face. He wouldn't give up. He knew she wasn't going to wear that sad and angry face forever.

"We couldn't have dinner at ten in the morning, Blair" he explained as if it wasn't obvious.

Blair bit her lip and looked down at the flowers. They had a tiny card put on the right package, and she carefully took it to read. She was pretending to still be angry even if she was slowly pushing the feeling away. She did like his choices, she had to admit it to herself, but he still wasn't entirely forgiven.

She opened the small card. Just few lines were written, but they were enough to make her heart thudding in awe for him.

_I'm sorry you had to wait this long, but I swear it will be worth it. And if you don't believe me... I would seriously be offended and I won't probably give you your gift. -Chuck_

A tiny smile formed on her face as she read it. She raised her head to look at him, and he was quite amused by her expression. She looked either surprised or dazzled.

She started to pout and he knew what she wanted. He sighed happily and searched in his suit's pocket for something. Blair didn't know what he was looking for, if it was her present or not. She watched him with inspecting eyes as he took out something from his jacket, or that's what she thought. It looked like he hadn't anything in his hand.

She started to be disappointed and wished he wasn't joking. That wasn't the time to joke. She had waited for hours for a present, and even if it wasn't a cool behavior because she shouldn't base her life over gifts and flowers from her boyfriend, she knew it counted much for her.

He didn't open his hand until he was done with what he had to say. He cleared his voice before he started talking. "I'm sorry you had to wait," he repeated the words he'd written onto the card. "But it wouldn't have been the same if I gave you this present at morning. It's just... It needed an atmosphere, and this place looked perfect."

She kept holding his gaze while folding and unfolding her hands on her lap. She hoped he didn't catch her, but she knew he already did. She was patiently waiting for what he had to say next. It looked important, and she was beside herself with joy already.

"I promised I would take care of you... Give you a good life and try to be a better man." He continued. "But I can't do that if..." His voice trailed off.

Blair put a hand on her mouth and she asked for the bathroom in a husky voice. It looked like she was choking to him, so he put whatever he had in his hand back in his pocket, and took her to the large bathroom of the penthouse.

He helped her taking her hair back as she threw up. He didn't have any idea of why she would do it, they practically didn't eat anything yet, but he wasn't sure she ate before going out.

When she was done, he helped her sitting on the small couch of the large bathroom. She had closed her eyes, and he noticed she was paler than before. His arm remained still behind her back as she had let herself lie on his chest, her arm gripped on his hip.

He didn't want to say anything, but pushing the thing further wouldn't be good for her health. He knew she had had problems, and if they came back he needed to know.

He leaned down to press his forehead on her hair. "Blair." His voice was low and calm. He didn't want to give her a questioning tone, he knew she wouldn't answer him. "If you... If something happened... I need to know. I just want to help you." His tone was sincere and kind. He really wanted to help if he could. He loved her, he would do anything for her.

She flinched in his arm and he could feel her jaw move as she swallowed lightly.

His hold tightened on her back and she relaxed a bit. He kissed her hair and gave her time to recompose herself. She needed it.

Silence fell on the room for what it seemed like an eternity. It was the only thing in that room, and this bothered him. Chuck wasn't sure he could talk, but he had to try even if she wouldn't answer again. He would slowly find out what did she have.

"Do you need anything?" He asked softly closer to her ear.

She didn't even shook her head on his chest, so he reached for her face and started to caress her cheek. She didn't want to answer, it was okay. He wouldn't force it out of her if she didn't want to share it, but he would soon. She didn't need to lie about her health with him. He stood with her while she had her eating disorder two years before, and he would stand now.

He sighed loudly on her hair, and he felt her hand grip on his shirt as words finally escaped her mouth. "I'm pregnant." She managed to get out in one breath.

He couldn't believe her words that he had to take a full minute to realize. His mouth had fell open and he didn't know what to do in that moment. He just adjusted her in his hug so that she was facing him, and with his hand he tried to raise her chin.

Her eyes were teary, and her make up a bit ruined. He grinned nicely as he wiped away the tears from her cheeks. She was puzzled, unable to make a move or say anything. She just wanted to know if this new revelation was okay for him.

Chuck kissed her mouth quickly and rested his forehead on hers. "I love you," he whispered and he kissed her again, this time harder. He pulled away soon and noticed she was still looking at him with uncertain eyes. "Don't cry." He ordered, and wiped away the new tears that were falling on her cheeks. " I love you. I love _you_." He repeated, trying to comfort her.

Blair's mouth opened and she let out a sigh before she was able to motion few words. "You're not mad?" She asked with fear, afraid he would tell her something she didn't want to hear.

He looked away for a moment and then back at her. "Why would I be" he whispered. He started rubbing his hand on her back lightly, and she relaxed another bit. "You are pregnant, Blair. Above all, healthy. I already love _you_. Both of _you_." He crooked a smile and lowered his head to kiss her. It was sweeter this time, and he could feel his cheek damp because of her tears. She couldn't help but starting to cry again, she was incredulous.

"When did you find out?" He asked with interest once he broke the kiss.

She bit her lip and looked at her folded hands on her lap. "Less than two hours ago," she confessed. "I wonder why my Doctor decided to send me the results this late and on V-Day." She rolled her eyes complaining about her Doctor's way to act. "She could have sent the results once I was at home wondering why I still didn't get any gift at noon. I was mad!"

He started giggling in response that she had to look back at him with a pout. "Why are you laughing, Chuck? It's not funny! I'm still mad by the way." She leaned away from him and went almost to the edge of the couch.

"I love teasing you."

Blair changed expression soon, now she looked like an angry child. She pretended to ignore him because he kept laughing lightly on the other end of the couch.

He kept giggling and extended his hand towards hers after a while. He had such pleading eyes that she unfolded her hands and reached his to hold it tight. Her angry face dropped and she smiled. "I hate you," she murmured.

He stood up then, and she looked at him with uncertain eyes. "Let's go in the foyer" he suggested, and she nodded as he helped her standing up.

Once they reached the foyer that was after the small table he had prepared for her, he thought it was time to give her the gift. He didn't think eat was a good idea, he honestly wasn't sure what to do, if she could throw up again if she would eat something.

He took her to the large red couch and stopped before she would sit down.

She started looking at him with confusion. She didn't know what her present would be, but she was sure it was going to be amazing, whatever thing was. He had a great taste, she knew it.

Chuck became serious and took a long breath. He was struggling to find the right words to start or better continue his speech. "I don't want to be your boyfriend anymore, Blair." He said the words in a husky voice. His expression was hard, and Blair froze in front of him.

The words felt like daggers in her ears, ready to cut her to pieces. She didn't know what to say. It was like her world was falling down. From the galore of the bathroom of few minutes before... To this. She widened her eyes, unable to answer him at first. She just wanted to cry, but it seemed like tears this time didn't want to come yet. "W-why?"

He looked down and and bit his lip, trying to find a decent answer. "Because we've been for too long. I'm honestly sick of it."

She swallowed hardly while he still held her gaze. Tears were starting to form in her eyes, but this time she decided to keep her mouth shut. He looked like he had more to say. He pursed his lips and put his hands in his pockets. Blair watched in silence as he took a few more seconds to find the words. She knew they would be decisive. She was already afraid. He took a step forward to her and pulled his hands out of his jacket. "I really want a change." He said dark. "Why I should be a boyfriend when I could be something more?"

She was hit by the words once again. "Something... More?" At that point, she couldn't hold the tears back anymore. Her eyes started to become glossy, and her hands started shaking. She looked down and had to hold herself together not to fall on the couch right behind her.

He nodded. "Yes, something more fit." He answered coldly. "I wanna marry you."

She frowned as soon as she realized. She threw herself on him and started punching his chest lightly. He let her do it for a bit, then his stronger arms got the best of her and he held her tightly. She sighed in his grasp, and started cursing at him ponderously. "I was right hating you!" She hissed, then she stopped as long as she released herself from his hold.

He had something in his right hand, and he opened in front of her. It was a small velvet box, and inside there could only be one thing. The beautiful ring she had ever seen was placed right in the center of the white velvet that coated the inner space of the box. It must've been a rare diamond. It was so big and the lights made it shine as if it was a source of light itself.

He took the ring from the box. He looked in her eyes and smiled as she tried not to cry of joy this time. "Will you?" He asked her sweetly.

She rolled her eyes. "Enhance my position, be something more? I... do."

He smiled widely and slid the ring on her fourth finger fast. He kissed that hand and circled his arms around her tiny figure to tighten her in his strong grasp. He started to give her kisses down the trail of her neck until he slowed down and rested his head on her shoulder.

She raised her head from his chest and stared at him for a good minute until she felt the need to kiss him. Her lips crushed on his and his grip tightened on her back. Her hands went on his chest right were she felt his heart beating under his white shirt. He took all the strength he had to pick her up in his arms, her mouth dangled in disappointment as he leaned a few inches back not to stumble into the carpet right behind him. She brought her hands behind his neck and held on the edges of his jacket not to fall down, and he started walking away from the foyer to the bedroom door.

…

It was like no one of them wanted to sleep that night. What had happened just few hours earlier felt too overwhelming for the both of them to just drift off sleep easily. They had loved each other for a while. He had been careful enough not to hurt her, and she had noticed it, assuring him he didn't have to worry just yet.

He had been kind and gentle anyway, trying not to be hard and unstoppable as he used to. She appreciated this regard he had, but it looked like she was just one month pregnant, and have strong sex like they usually had didn't look like a thing that could do any damage to the baby she was carrying then. It was too early.

They were lying at the center of the great bed. He had asked for pure silk red sheets and general red bedding, and candles and flowers all around the room. They had of course did the work he asked for, and he could tell she had been satisfied too, even if he knew she probably didn't have much time to look around as they were busy undressing each other earlier.

He was lying right behind her, on his favorite side of the bed. His hand never left her waist under the sheets as he leaned in towards her neck to smell her Chanel. He wondered if she was awake like him, and her little body moved a little in his arms almost at the same time he thought about it, because she was probably asking herself the same.

Her hand cupped his and she squeezed it, and he squeezed it back, lacing their fingers together. He moved closer to her body until his chest was almost touching her bare back. His strong arms tightened the hold, and she rubbed her head back a bit trying not to hurt his nose as he placed his forehead on her dark hair.

"I can't sleep" he confessed her with a low voice.

"Me either," she answered starting to play with his long fingers. He sighed on her shoulder and she froze in his arms. It was cold outside, and for what she knew it had snowed too.

He felt her goosebumps on his arms and brought her closer to his body as he tucked the sheets over her shoulder, supposing she was cold. But she brushed the sheets away as soon as he managed to fix them, leaving her breasts almost exposed.

The arm that was surrounding her moved from her waist to her shoulder as he was shielding her. His hips moved closer and he let his hardness touch her soft back, feeling her nipple on the skin of his right arm harden in response. He could tell that she was almost excited as he was.

She giggled lightly and smiled when his member started teasing her from behind. She knew he was doing it on purpose, but she was too exhausted to do it again. It was like he had the need to make her his once again that night, even if he was dead tired like her. "Chuck. I'm tired for that..." She admonished him, so he just kissed her shoulder and backed a bit.

He didn't protest, he just sighed. A small grin appeared on her face because she was pleased he wanted her so bad. He was so hungry of her like any other man had never been. She felt loved and needed because she also knew that she was the most precious thing in his life.

A long moment of silence passed then, and she wasn't feeling him anymore. It had been a while since he hadn't moved or just sighed. She thought he had fallen asleep, so she quietly twirled around in his arms to check.

His eyes were closed shut, and his shoulders relaxed as he still hold her. She adjusted herself in his grasp and he put his arms around her as his eyes opened slowly. It looked like she had woken him, she suddenly felt sorry for it. "I didn't mean to..." She murmured as he winked slightly and closed his eyes again and just took her closer to his scruffy chest.

She put her head on to where she could feel his heart pounding, her breasts pressed firmly on his body. Her legs found place in between his, and she tucked the sheets on both of them this time. He kissed her hair and inhaled her pleasant scent as one of his hands rested on her hip and then went on her waist like a while before.

He started caressing the spot with kindness, and the gesture made her shiver in response. He smirked with eyes closed, and she noticed it. He loved when he made her jolt in his arms, a slight response that made him feel worth every time.

She rubbed her cheek on his bare chest when she felt his hand drifting right on her belly button. She knew what he wanted to mean with that sweet motion, and she couldn't contain her joy. It was a joy that he hadn't been opposed to this baby, their baby.

"You know, I've never been happier before now." He confessed shyly, his voice barely a whisper. She looked up to see he was looking at her in awe.

"You're offending me, Chuck Bass." She teased. He looked a bit confused by that statement, and she liked moments like these, when she could flurry him like the first time. He was about to reply when she beat him. "You're saying these two years with me weren't worth?"

He smiled crookedly and kissed her forehead. "You wish. You promised you'll pass your whole life with me. You'll have to endure me for the rest of your days. That is arguable."

She laughed and punched his chest lightly. "Shut up" she went to kiss his cheek. She placed her head back on his chest and finally closed her eyes. It took them a while to fall asleep, but they finally drifted to dream land when the first lights of the dawn broke into the bedroom.

They wouldn't wake before lunch time next day, but the night they had spent wide awake had been worth it the insomnia. All of it. For once, she didn't fully regret waiting.

They would be together in this.


	2. Red

Hiiii everyone. I feel so happy for the feedback I've had, thank you all for your nice comments and my friends who are supporting this fanfiction, it means a lot to me. I hope you'll like this chapter too :)

….

One step was done. Chuck had proposed and she said yes. Blair had revealed him that she was expecting. Nothing seemed to go better for them besides one little detail.

"Now we have to do it. Unfortunately." She complained almost three weeks after Saint Valentine. She was lying in their bed, her head on his chest. It was Sunday, and the day outside looked marvelous. She was happy because she got to spend her day with him.

Chuck was relieved when he didn't have to work. Hell, he loved his job. He was happy directing the Hotels he owned in New York, and the Bass Industries, but he also loved Blair. It was rare in the latest months that he got to stay with her and cuddle or do other couple stuff.

Work occupied most of his time, but he promised her once her belly would grow and they would start planning their wedding, he would try to work less. He decided he would only work at the office he had in their house.

He would try to spend the majority of his time with her.

Chuck sighed loudly and she felt his chest hovering under her head. "Why are you so worried? We'll handle it. We know how to."

She opened her mouth like she wanted to answer him, but somehow she just panted hard. She knew he had felt her doing so, she just put her hand casually over his bare stomach to hold him in a half embrace.

"Blair." He said.

"Mmmh."

He adjusted himself on the nightstand and her head fell from his chest almost towards his crotch. She turned her head right and then annoyed steadied herself next to him.

He was looking casually at his hands. His expression was neutral. Once she sat down the same way he was, he turned. "What else is there?" he asked.

Blair bit her lip. "I was thinking about... Well, how Eleanor would react."

"How do you think she will? She will be happy" he said. "You and I, we've been together for long. I never saw her against our relationship."

"I'm not saying about me marrying you! I'm talking about the baby."

Silence fell. Chuck was still holding her gaze but she dropped her head to stare at her diamond ring on her left hand.

Chuck didn't say anything hoping she would continue. And she did. "I'm just twenty-two. Sure we are living together and I'm happy about it, but... Aren't we rushing things?" She tangled her fingers together on her lap as he watched her intently.

"Are you regretting us?" He simply asked.

"No!" She quickly answered. She didn't want him to think she regretted being with him. She did want to marry Chuck, she wanted their baby.

"Then what."

Blair finally turned to face him. He looked concerned. Something told her he was afraid she could say something that would hurt him. "What if she disapproves." She said with a low voice. She hated saying it out loud, but she had to. There hadn't to be secrets between the two of them. She had to let him know about that fear she had. "What if she's not proud?"

"What if she is?" He argued. He moved away from the nightstand to sit a bit away from his pillow. "It's not that your Mother hates you, Blair. She loves you. She would be happy."

Blair blinked and bit her lip. "I'm... Nobody. A baby on the way is the reason that would stop me from pursuing that internship I wanted to try at that magazine. I don't wanna be nobody. I don't wanna be Blair Waldorf married with Chuck Bass with a baby! Secretly I know that my mom thinks I am a failure. This is not what I've planned!" She let it out.

She soon regretted the words once she realized what she had said. But it was too late.

Chuck frowned. He looked disappointed. She saw his knuckles go white as he tightened his grip on the silk sheets. "There you are" he said roughly.

"Chuck, I..." she started, but he was faster than her.

"If you really believe that then why did you agree on marrying me? You could have said no. I'm not forcing you into anything. Above all, I haven't forced you into keeping this baby."

She gasped. "The fact is... It's too early. I thought I was happy and all, and I am. I love you," she held his gaze. "But my mom wouldn't be proud of me." She sighed.

Chuck shook his head. "This is about me, and you. Not your Mother, not your step-Father. Not Lily. Whatever you're going to be Eleanor loves you. She is already proud of who you are."

Blair brought her hand on her face. "What if she isn't! I am afraid, Chuck."

"You're not alone with this. I am here for you. It's you and me." He took her hand and squeezed it. "You have an amazing career ahead of you. Not because you're going to be my wife," he laughed softly "but because you are talented. Don't ever say you're nobody. You're Blair Waldorf. You can scare school girls who wear tights as pants. People respect you, and so do I." He said tenderly, he looked so proud of her.

She smiled then. Her grin was sincere, although she wasn't calm just yet. She was still scared. She didn't want her Mother to label her as a loser just because she didn't have a job at the age of twenty-two. She wanted to fully believe Chuck so she started telling herself that.

She was Blair Waldorf.

She leaned closer to him and casually fell against his bare chest. His scruff looked so comfortable that she lied there for good five minutes. It didn't help the fact that he was holding her onto him with his strong hands.

He lowered his head and whispered something in her ear. "Love you."

Blair looked up and saw him smiling then reached for his lips and they kissed. It was sweet and slow. They didn't want to rush it. She started to move her lips on his cheek and then his neck as the kiss started to deepen. She wanted to lay her lips everywhere, just to show him she loved him despite what she had confessed him. She was afraid, but she wouldn't have the strength to walk away. She wouldn't look back.

Her tongue trailed on the nape of his neck to slowly descend on his chest and then his stomach. It didn't stop there, of course. She bit his tummy once she arrived to the edge of his black knickers, then with her teeth she tried to lower them. She didn't know how to, but she succeed.

He looked already turned on from the gesture. He was expecting her next move, surprised she threw herself at him that early in the morning. She was unpredictable as much as him.

He helped her lowering his boxers as she continued her trip on his lower body. She teased him around his member trailing kisses and licking with her tongue to turn him on, then she finally took a deep breath and sucked on it.

It was still slow. It was like she was caressing him more than excite him.

He gripped his hands on the sheets as she bit his member. Her hand was on his back and it squeezed his lower back. It looked so smooth.

Chuck exhaled a moan when she started sucking roughly. He was watching the show from the best seat. Once Blair was done, he didn't give her the time to smile at him that he pushed her back on the bed and started to kiss her hard as his hand raised her silk slip to reveal her fair skin and then remove her red panties.

He then thrust into her greedily and she moaned in response as soon as he also reached the climax of sexual satisfaction.

"Oh please don't stop," she pleaded him once he started to slow down.

His kisses were harder and his hands wandering everywhere. His left hand in particular was arousing her breast. He could feel the hardness of her nipple in his fingers.

He kept thrusting as the minutes passed, he looked unstoppable. The thing they weren't expecting was that someone would actually go up there to meet them.

Once they heard his stepmother's voice they only were able to cover themselves.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry!" She apologized covering her mouth. "But the man at the door said I could come up because you were home, so... I tried."

Chuck smiled at his step mom and tried to find and fix his boxers under the covers. Blair did the same with her panties.

"It's okay. We had just woken up, I'm glad you're here. We wanted to invite you to a dinner. Tonight. Here at our house," he said glancing briefly at Blair when he said 'our house'. "Eleanor and Cyrus will attend too. If you want, tell Eric and Serena to come."

Lily smiled widely. "What's the matter, Charles? Is there any problem? Are you okay?"

Blair laughed. "We're more than okay, actually."

"There's something you need to tell me? Not that I'm kicking you out, but it's Sunday and I wanted to spend the morning with Blair," he glanced at his side again. The look of love was unmistakable.

"Nothing I can't tell you later." She grinned, then her eyes fell on Blair's engaged hand. Lily didn't spend much time imagining what was going on there. "Are you engaged or something?" Her eyes brightened at the words. She sure was happy for her step son.

Blair's eyes fell and she couldn't help but smile. "If you cross paths with my parents," she warned her, "Please don't tell them. My Mother would freak out you found out first."

Lily giggled loudly and her laugh echoed in the wide room. "Don't worry, Blair. And I'm so happy for this! Wasn't unexpected, but still it's a surprise." She looked giddy. "Well, now I'm going home. I'll see you tonight." She waved goodbye and disappeared behind the door.

Chuck fell back on his pillow once his step mom left. Blair sighed in relief and patted his chest lightly. He slowly re-opened his eyes when she did so.

"I'm so tired," he said covering his face with both hands.

She circled his stomach with her arm and adjusted herself beside him. "Already? And I'm the one being pregnant." She let her tongue out for him.

Chuck giggled then took her chin in his hand and brought her face closer to his. She still had her tongue out, so he met it. Their tongues started to move in unison as they French kissed sweetly. Once they were done, Chuck grinned at her, slightly pleased.

"We should set up the dinner..." Blair said casually.

He sighed audibly and licked his lips. "Why can't we just call Dorota and spent the rest of the day in bed?"

"I'll go get the phone," Blair managed to say before he could kiss her again, word escaping her mouth hardly because he wouldn't let her go.

"Hurry back here," he whispered in her ear before she could jump off the bed.

…

Dorota had been called and Blair had given her straight orders.

She had to prepare the dinner in their large dining room, the one with red walls.

They had two big dining rooms in their house, they used them both when they could. The one with dark red walls was usually used for big dinners or lunches. Chuck used to invite some members of the company and their wives to eat at their place, or clients. He wanted to show them the loyalty and hospitality of his company, and no one could do it better than himself.

Blair was annoyed every time some of the wives of a Bass Industries's member came. Most of them were annoying old bitches who just criticized people.

Not that she didn't, but she used to criticize in her old circles, the ones her Mother attended too. Now, every time some woman on the fifties came to their house, it looked like the focus of their whole conversation wasn't fashion or cooking anymore, it was how that other members of Bass Inc. group dressed poorly, or how some man was a bit of a stalker sometimes.

Blair kept her expression neutral every time and laughed when it was right to, then spilled these secrets with her fiancé. Chuck always laughed at the gossip, but explained Blair that he had caught some of the members in flagrance doing the dirty Blair discovered while talking to different wives.

Gossip was also spilled by these old women about Blair.

She knew it. Some wives used to tell her if some other woman had said something bad about her. She hadn't been invited yet; the fact that she wasn't Chuck's wife yet made the old elite women don't expose too much with her, she was the boss's girlfriend after all.

One of the things she had recently acquainted weren't exactly untrue.

One of the matrons, the wife of Chuck's oldest member at the board who still didn't get over the fact that years before Bart had left the company into the hands of his only son, was the one that usually didn't spill polite gossip about her.

She envied her, she guessed.

She had imagined Blair was pregnant. The fact is that Blair wore a dress at the Opera, when she and Chuck went to see the Black Swan. The dress was too snug, her small and rounded belly bump was starting to notice. But at this point since she and Chuck had decided she wouldn't wear her engagement ring in public until they would tell their parents, she didn't care that much to say she had gained weight.

The old woman started to spread other news too. Blair had been seen with Nate after the proposal, they were walking close together, but they obviously were just friends. This wasn't what the matron thought, she even tried to tell Chuck but he didn't buy it of course.

Nate was Chuck and Blair's long time friend, and he had a girlfriend. He and Blair were usually friendly because they loved each other after all, but people didn't know that.

This time would be different. No old women to be afraid of, just her Mother.

Blair was scared to reveal the good news to her Mother and step Father. She thought her mom wouldn't understand despite the fact that Eleanor loved Chuck.

She dreaded the moment of the truth without knowing it. With Lily it had been so easier, and they didn't have to tell her, she had found out by herself. She hoped her Mother didn't have a too much traditionalistic mind. She didn't want to be disappointed by her reaction.

….

Once the clock ticked 6pm, Blair started to move anxiously in bed.

She felt a pain under her waist and this was starting to make her feel uneasy. She slowly opened her eyes to find herself in his arms. He looked content. "You finally woke, princess," he said with kindness that made her melt right there on him.

She buried her nose into his neck and closed her eyes again.

She still felt that sensation, something that was both painful and wet. She opened her eyes soon and sat down on the bed as if she had had a nightmare. She brought a hand on her chest and felt her heart pounding like crazy like she was upset and she didn't know why. Her mouth went dry and her breathing was starting to get husky. She raised a hand on her forehead.

"Chuck, I don't feel... Well." She managed to say before she slowly felt her head spin uncontrollably.

Chuck sat down on the bed and helped her steading by gripping both arms around her tiny figure as to protect her. "Do you want a glass of water? I can call Dorota," he said calmly, "What do you feel?" he asked as he tried to remove her hair from her face. Once he did so, he noticed her forehead gone cold. He looked her in the eyes and they were closed. "Blair. Answer me" He ordered, quite worried. "Answer me, please!" He almost shouted when she didn't do it. She just felt dizzy and kept moving her head on his chest.

Chuck then decided to call Dorota. Blair might be ill, and the maid always knew what to do.

Few minutes passed as they successfully gave a glass of water to Blair. Dorota started to put warm clothes on her, they thought she had just got the flu. Nothing to worry about.

He reached the bed and seated next to her. He was watching her sleep, or apparently she was sleeping. When she started complaining again, then Chuck started to be preoccupied.

"Chuck," she called him. "My stomach... It hurts. It damn hurts. Bathroom..." She tried to explain in a low voice. Thankfully for her Chuck understood what she wanted.

She wasn't that tired, she could actually walk. The only problem was that when he let her grip her arm around his waist to help her she did walk slowly. It looked like a long way towards the bathroom, but when they finally got in and Blair peed, they found out what the cause of Blair's suffering was.

She lowered her panties as to pee, and when she glanced at them with Chuck present there to help her out, they were all dirty. There were several blood stains, and they didn't look promising. Once Blair noticed them, she started to moan in panic.

"What are these... Call Dorota, Chuck... Call her."

He just did what she asked him to, and the maid couldn't help but widen her eyes once she inspected the stained panties. She had experience, so she started to ask first to get was the problem with Miss Blair was. "Miss Blair, you need pills for period pain?" She started to guess, since when Blair got her first period Dorota helped her with meds and stuff.

Blair passed a hand through her hair, "I'm pregnant Dorota... I'm pregnant," she gasped in short breath.

Dorota's face was a mix of emotions. She didn't know if she had to be happy or sad for them in that moment. She brought a hand on her mouth once it parted in horror. "Pregnant?" She reasoned for a few moments as Chuck watched her intently, "We need to go now! Hospital!"

Chuck was there standing still expecting orders from Dorota, but he didn't move an inch.

"Mr Chuck! Dress up, I dress Miss Blair. We need to go! We need to go to Hospital now!"

"What's happening Dorota? Is she alright?" Chuck asked in fear as he exited the room to dress up, Dorota helped Blair finding a dress herself as she put her on the bed to let her lay down.

Dorota nervously tried to look for a decent dress until she found one. It looked large, and it was dark, so it wouldn't have blood stains if she'd lose more. "We need to hurry. Baby may be in danger! Call the limo. Go!" She explained as she pushed Chuck towards the door.

Chuck realized her words as soon as he called Arthur to pick up the limo. He became paler almost as Blair now, but he told himself to stay strong. Things had to go right. He had to have faith and hope the limo would arrive soon to the Hospital.

….

Dorota and Chuck took Blair into a Hospital after two hours.

They had been keeping her in observation for almost two hours, Chuck forgot to put his watch so Dorota had to tell him what time was it. Eleanor and the others would already be at their house by that time, but it didn't matter now.

Chuck wanted Blair to be safe, get better. If only they would give them information about her conditions. Dorota had sadly informed him of what had probably happened to Blair. He was starting to get angry and he couldn't help but walking back and forth into the long corridor outside the room they were keeping her. He started thinking about the worst.

"Someone has to inform Eleanor and Lily. They're likely home right now," he commented casually to distract himself. He hadn't been able to say a word since they came there. "Call them," he gave an order to Dorota. "Tell them we're here. Don't alarm them."

The maid nodded briefly and didn't add anything, she just walked away to call Blair's and Chuck's parents.

Once he was left alone, he had to face with some dark and not so happy thoughts in his head. He dreaded them, they were like ghosts. He didn't want Blair to feel pain. He didn't want her to risk her life for this baby. He didn't wanna lose this baby.

Yet, he thought that he had probably to give up on one of them, even if they were already the two most important things of his life.

He felt his eyes glossy when she thought about losing her. They had struggled to be together, passed through a lot. He wanted to marry her, to live his life with her. She didn't have to give up on her life. She couldn't. The thought of just thinking this disease she had to keep her for damn three hours closed into a room made him cringe and go hiding into a corner.

He heard some door opening few minutes later and a hoary man greeted him.

"Chuck Bass I assume." He shook hands with him.

"How is she? Is she... Alright? Is the baby alright?" He asked all the questions in less than ten seconds that he shook his head as to apologize for the rush.

The Doctor held a red folder on his chest. "She lost blood. Not much, but she lost it." He said with a cold tone that made Chuck flinch. His lips parted in horror, but the Doctor didn't look nearly done with his diagnosis. "It's good you came here soon. Fortunately it was just a false alarm. The baby is safe" He paused. "Just one thing. Try to make her rest and don't do too much physical activities," he recommended as he walked away.

Chuck brought both hands on his face and rubbed it. He felt somehow relieved, but the thought that it might had happened something to both of them still linger in his mind.

He didn't think twice and got into her room.

She looked asleep, a drip was in her left arm. He had the instinct to hug her, but he didn't dare yet. He was afraid he could hurt the baby.

"Hey," she greeted him. He was happy she wasn't sleeping just because he wanted to hear the tone of her soft voice.

Chuck walked towards the bed and sat down next to her. Her hand was casually put on her belly as if it was bigger than it appeared, a clear maternal gesture that he noticed Blair had started doing few days before. He didn't try to get closer.

Blair smiled at him, but looked disappointed. "What?" he asked her.

"Come here," she invited him and tried to make him lean closer to hug her. "I've missed you," she confessed sweetly.

He lowered down on her trying not to press his body on her belly.

"You scared me." He confessed her in a whisper.

He heard Blair sigh next to his ear. "The Doctor said I should only rest. I am fine, really. Don't worry about me. He's okay too" She tried to comfort him as she started to fell her shoulder damp. "I'm not going to leave either of you. _Never._"

"Blair, honey, are you alright?" Eleanor broke into the room almost slamming the door. As soon as he heard his future Mother-in-law getting in, he seated back on the bed. He didn't bother if she would see his red eyes. "Dorota called us. Why are you in the maternity ward?"

Blair swallowed hard before answering. That would be the moment of the truth. Chuck gripped his hand around hers and he squeezed it lightly before going out of the room. "I've risked to have a miscarriage tonight," she exhaled deeply few moments later and kept her expression neutral.

Eleanor herself was still. She looked like she wasn't feeling anything, or that she wasn't able to. She shook her head and opened her mouth as to say something, but it took her few seconds to actually motion few words. "I didn't know you were..." she trailed off. "When were you going to tell me, Blair? When? I'm your Mother after all. You can confide in me."

Blair blinked and her eyes wander behind her Mother. "Chuck knew. He was the only one who did. We wanted to tell you tonight, that's why we set up a dinner altogether."

Her Mother nodded and sighed loudly.

Blair then looked at Chuck and he nodded in approval too. There was another thing to let her Mother know at that point, and if she had taken the pregnancy so well she would take the other one even more easily. "We're going to get married soon."

The woman nodded again, then bit her lip. She didn't answer though, but she caught the diamond ring on the left hand of her daughter.

Blair felt uneasy at her Mother's silence. She didn't know if she ever will, but she surely would say something if she really wanted to leave after. She hoped she would.

Eleanor moved closer to the bed. Once she reached her daughter she couldn't help but smile. Her eyes started to fill with tears as she laughed and cried at the same time. "I don't know for what I'm happier more, really," she confessed as both giggled. Blair started crying too, "I can't believe you're already in such state, dear. I'm sure Cyrus will be happy to be a grandfather."

She giggled happily when her mom sat down next to her and took her hand. She still couldn't believe it. "I'm sure he will," she agreed. "Cyrus will be a great grandpa, and so daddy."

"And I'm sure Chuck will be a great Father too," she commented. "I knew he was going to be the one. He loves you." Her Mother cupped her hands on her cheeks and kissed her forehead.

They heard steps from behind them and they turned to see who it was. Lily got in the room more confused that Blair's Mother was few minutes before. "I'm sorry I'm late. Charles called me a couple of minutes ago, what happened?" She asked as she put a hand on her chest.

Both Mother and daughter turned. "We're going to have a baby, Lil," Blair answered her.

Lily soon changed expression, she looked joyful now. "Really? I can't believe it, Blair. It's amazing! That's the most exciting news of today, along with the other one."

Eleanor made a face, then turned to Blair, puzzled. "Did she already know?"

Blair rolled her eyes as to avoid her Mother's glances, but she had been caught. Meanwhile, Chuck came back in the room again, he placed a hand over Lily's shoulder.

Lily looked guilty for had been spilled the detail. She suddenly remembered what she had promised that morning to Blair. "I'm sorry Blair," she apologized, "but if it can comfort you, Eleanor, I just found out this morning when I visited them."

Eleanor shook her head and stood up, "That's okay, that's okay. It's not the big deal anyway. It's something I believe everyone was waiting to happen," she looked at Chuck. "It was only a matter of when exactly."

Everyone laughed softly.

"Serena is coming here, by the way," Lily informed them.

"You did right calling her," Chuck agreed. "I'm sure Blair will find benefit in seeing her best friend, like when she saw Eleanor."

Lily nodded, and Eleanor and Chuck exchanged a look. Blair's Mom then pinched her daughter's cheek and started to walk away. She reached Lily that freed herself from Chuck's shoulder grip.

"I believe I'll be waiting outside. They're going to discharge you soon, dear."

Eleanor smiled at the both of them, then she and Lily quietly closed the door behind them and exited the room.

Chuck and Blair were left alone. He moved towards the bed to sit down on the right side.

"The Doctor told me you can come home if you want to," he informed her. "I answered that it was better if you stayed the night... Just to be sure."

She tried to sit down and he helped her. "That's perfect," she smiled, "but I'd rather spend the night in our bed than here." She said caressing his cheek. "Can you gather my things?"

Chuck grinned and kissed hers. "Sure ma'am."

He got off the bed and started collecting Blair's bag and shoes, and her Marc Jacobs dress. He helped her dressing up and was relieved that she could actually walk by herself now. The meds they'd given her had surely had their effect. He felt solace.

….

Almost few hours later, they were lying in bed.

The Doctor had assured them that the thing couldn't happen again, and if it did, they had to run to the Hospital for a check up. It was good doing it for the baby's health since she could still risk a miscarriage during the first three months of pregnancy. He also explained that this was a normal case of nesting. The blood stains were usual during the second month, but not every women had the same reactions to those.

She was still in his arms. The lights were off, but the light of the moon was lightening their faces and the bodies under the sheets in the dark.

She spoke softly after a long moment where they'd just kept themselves silent. "I'm so glad I didn't lose it," she said. "But I was scared I would and then I would be happy I didn't have to tell my Mother about my pregnancy. The fear of facing her would've gone away."

Chuck moved his face closer to hers. "The baby must be strong," he commented, "he didn't give up despite his mother's stubbornness and feeblenesses."

Blair gave him a little kick under the covers, but she knew he was right about that.

She had said early in the morning that maybe it wasn't time yet to have a baby. She didn't have a job, and her Mother wouldn't be proud of her choices to be a Mother herself and marry her long time boyfriend and now official fiancé. But what happened to her late in the afternoon was proof that this baby had to survive, they had to have it.

The timing was right.

"Maybe it's true," she said with a touchy tone. "Or probably he was just like his Father."

"How the hell is his Father?" He teased.

"Nothing exceptional, just... He's the strongest, hard-worker man I've ever met. He never loses a shot. Above all he wouldn't lose the possibility to pass through my tights..." She giggled lightly, while he tickled her hip and made her shake a bit in his hold.

Chuck kissed her hair as to let her know he always loved when she praised him. "It's the third time you're calling our son a 'he'," he pointed out casually.

"You did it too. Just now." She reminded him.

"What if he's really a boy? You can't put headbands on his head like I know you'd loved to."

She smiled in the dark. "But I can buy him bow-ties, and scarves," she answered.

"So you're telling me he's gonna dress like his Father then."

"I love the sense of style his Father has. I would love my son to have bow-ties. I know his Father would be happy too." She answered giggling.

He chortled. "Hell, I'm sure he would."

Chuck held her tightly and the silence fell over the room once again.

They were tired as if they had done much in just a few hours. It was the aftermath of the recent episode that made them feel like that.

They had thought they were going to lose things, but they didn't lose anything that night.

On the contrary, they believed they had gained something.

They had the confirmation they were and would've been there for each other no matter what. The insecurities were still there but they could have passed through them soon if they kept counting on each other. They wouldn't give up on each other.

Their baby didn't.


	3. Purple

Hi everyone, hope you are all alright, I just wanted to thank you for all your sweet comments regarding this fiction, they help me to go on with the writing. :)

I hope you'll enjoy this one too.

He nuzzled his nose on her back and she shivered in response. The sun had just risen but he didn't want to leave the bed yet, the sensation of his body pressed against hers was so comforting that he was afraid to let go.

He had to anyway. A long day was planned ahead of him, a meeting in the morning and a lunch at noon to debate a new manoeuvre regarding his company.

He let his hand slip away from her waist to sit down for a minute to recollect himself before jumping off bed.

Blair was fast to turn around and reach for his hand before he would go too far from her, a clear pout on her sleepy face as she pleaded him to stay for other five minutes.

He smiled sweetly but let go of her grip. "I really can't stay, Blair... I have a meeting in three hours."

She sighed loudly and her expression dropped. She didn't want to answer him, she didn't want to plea. She just nodded and he went away too soon to realize he forgot about something Blair clearly didn't.

She pushed her head back on her pillow and started watching the ceiling hoping she wouldn't drift off sleep again. She had to remind him something that was important for her but that he had probably put aside because of his work's duties.

Sure his job and company was important, there wasn't any doubt in that. But what about her, what about the baby they were going to have in less than nine months?

She was about to hit her third month and she had to do something before that. Her Doctor had suggested her and she wanted him to be there.

Once he got back in their bedroom to fix his tie and put his jacket on, she literally jumped sit on the big bed. He looked back because she had made a great noise. "Blair? Are you okay?" He was clearly confused. He thought she might had hit her head on the bed head or something.

Blair smiled bitterly and crossed her arms on her chest. "What day is today?" She asked with venom.

Chuck glanced at the watch on the wall and answered her. "It's the 28th. Why? Have I forgot something important?" His face was neutral, he really did seem lost. He was trying to remind something but it looked like he couldn't.

He remained still in his place while Blair looked like fuming. "No, Chuck. You didn't. I mistaken the days," she replied changing her expression radically. From an angry face now she looked fully of joy like a little girl on Christmas Day.

"I think I'm gonna go now." he winked and went for the door. "I have a meeting from ten to one. Call me only if it's important, okay?"

She nodded angrily as he exited the room and clenched her fists when she heard the loud sound of the elevator's bell.

He was gone now and she was left alone. He hadn't figured out what that day meant to her, or he pretended to. Chuck usually kept his agenda updated, but work was probably more important if he had forgot about her first ultrasound.

She couldn't drift to sleep again because the thought of it made her upset, so she decided to call Serena since she needed someone to vent to and Dorota wouldn't be there before eight.

Her friend answered after the third ring, and she was surprised to hear her voice calm and shrill as it was early night. She always had a strong voice before going out. "S?" She called on the other end as she brought the sheets over her chest.

"Are you okay, B?" She looked concerned. Blair didn't usually call at seven in the morning.

Blair sighed and looked down at her feet. "I have my first ultrasound today..." She started to say in a low voice.

"And...?" Serena pushed.

"I'm gonna be all alone in the room. No one is gonna enjoy this moment with me." She confessed as her eyes started to become glossy. She didn't want to cry though.

She could hear the change in Serena's tone. "What about Chuck? He's not coming anymore? B, don't tell me he left you. I'm gonna cut his..." Her voice trailed off.

"He has a meeting. His work is obviously more important than me!" She almost screamed.

She could hear her best friend take a long sigh on the other end. "Have you at least reminded him of the appointment? I'm sure he wouldn't go to work without saying anything about it" Serena tried to comfort her. She was really trying to ease her anger.

Blair didn't answer and wanted to find a better excuse to tell Serena, but she couldn't. Yeah, she had indeed not told Chuck about their visit to the Doctor on purpose because she wanted him to remember it. "Blair? Have you?" Serena asked again.

She shook her head and gave her an annoyed answer. "I haven't."

"Then call him now, go! Do you want him to be with you, right?" Serena asked again, but apparently Blair wasn't willing to answer her. She was too stubborn. "Right, Blair?"

Blair sighed loudly that it was sure her friend had listened her through the phone. "I will. I will." She said more trying to convince herself more than Serena.

….

The appointment with Blair's Doctor, her long time gynecologist, was at ten thirty. Blair had her usual hot shower to wake up up, although that day it wasn't a happy one. She was full of rage and anxious and she needed someone to calm her down.

Dorota reached her in the bathroom when she asked to. She dried her hair and helped her choosing the dress she believed was good for the meeting.

"Miss Blair, blue dress is perfect for you. The one with the large skirt." Dorota said from behind Blair while she was deciding between two or three outfits.

One was a plain vanilla shirt with a short, grey skirt while the other one was a really nice dress she had bought few days before that had this wide skirt so it would be good for when her belly would become bigger too. Blair looked at the two with attention as she picked up the blue dress like her maid suggested.

She kept talking about how a workaholic Chuck was and how a bad Father for their baby he would be if he kept forgetting their appointments with the Doctor. They said they wanted to be in this together, then why he was absent during that important day for their lives?

"Should I call him?" She asked with concern while her maid was randomly putting the other dresses Blair didn't choose back into the closet.

Dorota turned and firmly shook her head.

"Why Dorota? I want him. He needs to be there for our baby!" She complained.

"Mr Chuck is busy. Meeting with French people. He told me too, great deal." Dorota nodded to convince her. "There are other ultrasounds. Mr Chuck will come to next one."

"He better will."

"Do you want me to come? Or Mrs. Waldorf?"

Blair rolled her eyes in annoyance and abruptly stormed out of the room. She had the limo waiting for her on the curb and she couldn't miss a second. She didn't want to get more mad than she was, but it looked inevitable. Dorota was no help. She even proposed to call her Mother. What in the world.

Eleanor Waldorf was happy when she and Chuck dined with her and Cyrus and told her the good news, but she was more anxious than her when it come to pregnancy that she would only make the situation worse. She had already sent over her place few of her trusted Doctors to give her treatments that in her opinion a pregnant woman should have while she's expecting.

"I can't be eight months without working, mom" she informed Eleanor when she first suggested her. Her Mother wanted Blair to be at home and don't do anything of her duties.

"But it will be healthy for your baby, love. And took off those heels when you get home!" She had addressed her.

Blair couldn't help but smile awkwardly at Chuck and roll her eyes when her Mother wasn't watching, and Chuck was trying to hide the laughters every time.

He really didn't suggest her anything.

He just said that she could do what she wanted and that he knew she still wanted to work until she wanted to and felt to. He knew her too well to know that she would die of boredom if she would remain alone at home to rest. Blair Waldorf would never stay at the same place forever without moving a finger. She wasn't lazy and her work didn't require her to be always walking.

Blair checked her blackberry when the limo got her there. It was a quarter before the time she had to meet the gynecologist.

She checked herself in her pocket mirror and then exited the limo.

….

Once inside, she had to wait what she said it was the longest period of her life. She even compared to the months she had waited Chuck to tell her he loved her. It looked eternal and her tension wasn't helping her. It was so rude for her Doctor to make her wait, but it looked like an older woman that had the appointment at ten wasn't out of the room yet. Like her, other women were waiting on the expensive green chairs of the famous studio.

She tried not to look at them, but it wasn't in her nature. One of the girls looked so sleepy that she wanted to roll her eyes so much. She looked at least six month pregnant, and her belly was barely covered by a red shirt she recognized as Marc Jacobs. It was rumpled on the belly button and it looked so wrong in that really short skirt she was wearing. Her shoes were matching her shirt at least, as well as her bag.

She raised her head from the magazine she was reading and Blair almost had a heart attack.

"Oh my God. Blair Waldorf." The girl said with the tone of surprise. Blair was surprised as well to see her there. It was probably more than two years that they hadn't seen each other.

"I really didn't think next place I would see you would be here." She raised her eyebrow and blinked. "Last time you were attending Columbia with me."

Penelope laughed bitterly and tried to fix her shirt. She hadn't noticed that her shirt was out of place on her belly. She looked up fast to see that Blair was amusingly watching her. It somehow made her smile. She thought Penelope would be more thoughtful in dressing up. She had been after all one of her minions and her minions didn't dress with their lights off.

"You know, I maybe expected this." Blair continued.

Her old minion pursed her lips. "Well, you're here too. Don't tell me it's your monthly routine, Blair. If you were looking for the Psychiatrist it's on the Third floor." She paused for a while. "Or maybe yes. I believe why you're here. You've screwed up."

"Check your facts, Penelope." Blair said with a fierce tone as she played with her curls nonchalantly. "How months are you, five? Six? I didn't believe pregnant women get so acid when their bellies grow. I suppose I was wrong."

She crossed her legs as one more girl, the one before Penelope, got in the studio of the Doctor leaving them alone. She sighed in anxiety and bit her lip. How she wished she would be the next not to see Penelope's judgmental face in front of her anymore.

She hoped her ex minion wouldn't answer back, but she wasn't expecting her to and in fact Penelope spit back at her in a soar tone. "Keep denying, Blair. I can see your bump from this far... You're screwed up. And alone."

Blair glared at her and put one of her hands on her knee. The word alone reminded her that for that day she was, but she wouldn't be when she would come back home to Chuck. Still, she would be angry at him but that wasn't important where she was. Penelope didn't know that they baby's Father was at a meeting and forgot about her appointment.

She decided to lie. Her eyes wouldn't betray her. "Who makes you think I'm alone?" She brought her left hand on her chin. She was wearing the engagement ring Chuck had gave to her on Valentine's Day and she felt immensely powerful. She had proofs.

It was then that Penelope opened her mouth in bewildering. "Don't kid me. I remember that ring. You've always had it. I'm not stupid Blair."

Blair rolled her eyes and started to laugh. She casually turned when she saw Serena approaching them from the right. She looked fierce walking in the corridor, and Blair felt the adrenaline growing inside of her when she reached them.

"I can't believe you're here too, Penelope. Your belly is _great_." She commented.

"Serena, I see things haven't changed between you two despite the fact that Blair really envied you and wished you dead sometimes."

Serena took place next to Blair on a green comfortable chair. She crossed her legs and shook her head to adjust her hair on her shoulders. She and Blair exchanged a look and then she gave their old friend a hostile grin. "I can't believe you didn't recognize Henry Winston."

"What?" Penelope looked confused.

"How disrespectful of you. It was on every newspaper! She is engaged now."

Penelope looked a bit lost but she tried to look sure of herself. "I haven't been in New York since my degree at Columbia to pay attention to your pathetic lives. Who would take you anyway? Nobody would love to grab such a skinny ass."

Blair bit her lip and glared at Penelope with more hate than before. Serena took her hand and squeezed it lightly knowing that her friend would probably jump from her seat and punch her old minion in the face.

"For your information my dear Penelope, someone did. While you have nothing. Nobody. I bet you run away with some of your Father's associates and he impregnated you on some yacht in the Mediterranean Sea. So classy." Blair answered her bitterly.

Penelope looked beat then and for her luck the Doctor finally asked Blair to get in. They got in the studio without exchanging another look with their old friend.

….

The gynecologist had to write few papers before she could visit Blair, so she suggested her to undress and lie on the bed so that the nurse would prepare her for the ultrasound.

"Why did you come?" Blair told Serena with a low voice. She didn't want to sound mean with her friend. She was doing it for her after all, although she didn't ask her to.

Serena smiled and brushed Blair's knee. "Since Chuck wasn't coming... I wanted to be by your side. I didn't want you to be alone." Blair smiled awkwardly and reached for her best friend's hand. Serena smiled back and the Doctor approached them, finally.

"Is it the first time, huh? I believed Mr Bass would've been here. Should we wait for him?"

Blair and Serena looked at each other. Blair didn't know what to say. Nobody knew if Chuck would remember they had that appointment or not. She told the gynecologist to wait a minute and she checked her phone to see what time was.

Chuck told her he would've been in a meeting until one, it was almost eleven. Too early. He also said to call if there were any problems. She didn't want to, but she wanted him there.

"What?" The Doctor asked when started to look sad. Her expression was evident.

"No, actually... No. He's not coming." She tried to hide her disappointment. The Doctor just smiled at her and touched her belly to put the gel.

Blair tried so hard not to cry when the woman put the machine on her tummy and started to move slowly. It was a weird sensation, but also relaxing. She tried to find the right spot in her opinion or she was taking time. Was the Doctor waiting delusional for Chuck too?

Serena was sitting on a chair next to the bed Blair was lying. Her friend couldn't miss her happy face once a little sound came from the machine. It looked amazing, but still wasn't what Blair expected.

"I'm sorry, I was just checking. The woman before you almost broke it. She was expecting twins and the machine made weird noises while I was passing it on her belly." She laughed.

Blair smiled a bit. The affirmation didn't make her laugh at all, maybe it tensed her.

The Doctor removed the sensor off her belly and called the nurse. "Take the new one from the office next to this soon. This one looks broken, okay." The nurse nodded and swiftly went out of the room leaving them three alone.

"I'm sorry Miss Waldorf, but it's better if we change the monitor and the machine or the analysis could be wrong. Angela will be here soon. Meanwhile you can tell me something about your pregnancy? How is it going?"

Blair bit her lip before answering. "I just... Have some morning sickness and I can't sleep when I have to, but besides that I'm fine."

"Are you anxious right now?"

She looked at her hands then. She was folding and unfolding them on her lap and she kept biting her lip as she wanted the blood to flow. "I'm not."

The woman nodded. "Yeah I can see it. It's his fault, right?"

"No!"

"Don't lie, Miss Waldorf. I've known many women who weren't here with their partner. I was one of them too." She explained.

"You're not my therapist. It's not your business." Blair looked away towards the window then. She didn't want to answer the question. The Doctor wasn't paid to ask her personal things. She spotted Serena with the angle of her eye. Her best friend was looking at her with sadness. She reached for her hand and tightened the grip. Blair squeezed in response.

The Doctor didn't dare to ask more and while they were waiting for Angela to come back it had passed more than ten minutes. It was then that they heard the door.

The trio turned to the dark door and Blair couldn't be more surprised. "Chuck." He looked tired as if he had been running and Blair frowned with worry. "Why are you... Here?"

He was holding his head while he tried to gather some air. He looked at the Doctor and she and Serena exchanged a glance. They nodded and whispered that they would give them five minutes to talk, then they would start the visit.

Blair and Chuck were left alone as the door was closed. She looked down, unable to look at him in the eyes. She knew he had to attend a meeting, but she also wanted him to explain why he was there, if he had really remembered or it was a fluke.

He took her hand in his and she shoved it away. She turned to the window and pretended to ignore him. "Look, I'm sorry" He said out of breath as he walked closer to the bed.

"Why are you here?" She just repeated. She was still watching outside.

He sighed trying to find the right words. "I remembered while I was explaining why French people should join my company. I had the alarm on my phone. I know I'm a dick."

Blair turned then and the last words made her smile. "Yes you are. You forgot about the first ultrasound. I freaked out."

Chuck frowned and tried to take her hand. She didn't oppose resistance this time, although her grip was a bit loosened. He leaned in and cupped her cheek in his other hand and then he gave her a quick kiss on the lips. "Don't freak, Blair. I'm not leaving you. I won't leave you." He remained not so much distant from her mouth.

She was looking him deep into his eyes. A larger smile formed on her face and this time she moved forward to kiss him. "You better won't. You don't want to pay money and money of alimonies for your child, right?"

He laughed at her words, then steadied himself on the little portion of space left next to her.

"I won't forget it next time. I shouldn't had forgot it in the first place."

It was then that the Doctor and the nurse got in the room again. The nurse had the new machine and carried it next to Blair. She substituted the old one with the new.

"I'm sorry I had to change the machine, but the other one didn't work well. I can see it helped taking time since Mr. Bass succeeded in joining us" the Doctor said gleefully with a smile as she put more gel on Blair's belly. "Now you won't hear much until I check this, but if we're lucky and the baby is in a good position we could even see if it's a boy or a girl."

"Could we?" Blair asked with curiosity.

"You passed the twelfth week, so yes we could. It depends if the baby is in the right position to check the sex. You know, sometimes babies are put weird in your belly that you can't figure out." She started to pass the machine on Blair's belly then. She did it slowly and this made Blair shiver every once in a while because the gel was really cold.

It passed a good minute until they could hear a beat.

"What was that? Is it okay?" Blair asked with anxiety as she tightened her grip on Chuck's hand. He squeezed back to reassure her.

"It's just the baby's heartbeat" the Doctor explained. "Here it is." She pointed to the screen of the machine with a little pointer.

Blair wasn't sure where to look until she saw a little ball on the top right of the screen. She could distinct a little body under it, and she understood her baby was now with his or her head towards Blair's. It was such a new and exciting thing to see that she couldn't believe it.

She looked at Chuck and he was still looking. He looked in awe and touched the screen almost as if he didn't believe either that the image on the screen would be their son or daughter.

The Doctor came closer to the screen and set few parameters as the beat kept echoing from the machine. Blair was smiling like a little girl when the woman announced that they would probably be able to know the sex as the baby was in a way the Doctor could see.

"What it is, then?"

"I can't see it completely but it looks like a boy." She commented. "It's eighty percent a boy. From here, look." She pointed to the screen and they saw what did she mean.

They both turned their heads to check. They couldn't see much but the woman was the expert, they just wanted to know what color of dresses and how the room of their baby would be.

Blair and Chuck exchanged looks and they smiled at each other. The Doctor showed them more of the baby because he looked like he couldn't stay still in Blair's belly and they heard the heartbeat too. It wasn't really steady but it was due to the fact that the heart had formed three weeks before and it needed to grow more and become stronger.

….

About twenty minutes later they were done. The Doctor printed the baby pictures for them and told them to come next month for another check. The baby looked alright and they shouldn't have to worry about anything. Whatever thing could happen to Blair, that could she either feel sick or something they could call the Doctor any moment, but she said to be relaxed in the first place because that was a basic thing to do.

Blair fixed her dress hand she and Chuck walked hand in hand through the door. He then loosened his grip to put his hand on her hip so that they would walk closely. He kissed her cheek as they moved towards the exit. Serena looked nowhere in sight, she might had gone home. Blair was grateful so that she would be alone with Chuck. She would tell Serena the news later. She was too busy cuddling in Chuck's embrace that she almost didn't notice that they had got out of the building in no time. Chuck helped her getting into the limo and then they took off to reach their home.

They reached the elevator and pressed the button for the penthouse. While climbing up, Chuck started to kiss her deep and even more deep. She didn't back off, but she wondered why he looked so hungry of her that morning.

She let him kiss her and touch her everywhere wondering where this thing was headed. The last time they had sex was two days before, it wasn't that an old time. Blair pushed him back as the got into the foyer.

"What?" He asked clearly disappointed.

Blair sighed and looked down. "I don't want to do it here. Dorota is around."

Chuck let the hand that was placed on her hip fall down and then he wandered around the house looking for Dorota. He even called her on her phone. She had finished to do the laundry earlier than usual so she went home before lunch.

Blair felt relieved then and since they didn't have any other maid at their penthouse she decided to purposely throw herself on Chuck and lead him to the living room and she started to remove his clothes one after another in less than five minutes.

He did the same with hers and she looked pleased when they finally reached the couch so that he could easily thrust into her more than he could have done on the floor that to be honest was pretty cold these times.

He trusted inside of her several times and it echoed in the whole house that she had to stop one time because she was amazed by how the noises invaded the various rooms.

After few hours they were still lying there on the couch. His suit jacket barely covered their bodies as they were asleep. Her head was on his chest and he was sleeping silently. His left arm was behind her back as he was gripping her in a hug.

It looked like the perfect day for them. They had found out the sex of their baby and now they were asleep after comforting sex. What they didn't expect was someone coming to visit.

The bell of the elevator rang and a shiny Serena got out. She wasn't alone this time and she regretted taking her boyfriend with her that time. She wanted to know from Blair and let her know that she had made a decision about her life.

"Blair" she called once inside. The foyer where Chuck and Blair were sleeping was at the end of the corridor and Serena and her guest decided to see if they were at home. "They have to be home or otherwise the elevator wouldn't open." Serena explained.

She reached the living room and the vision was clear to her when she saw shoes and clothes scattered on the ground around the little table in front of the first couch of the room. She just needed to follow the trail to arrive to Chuck and Blair lying asleep on the couch.

Blair heard the footsteps and she rubbed her eyes multiple times after she acknowledged Serena's presence. "Chuck. Chuck! Wake up." She tried to shake him without showing too much of her naked body. "Serena is here. She isn't alone." She faked a smile to her friend.

Chuck himself had to rub his eyes for a while until he looked conscious and not still in the world of dreams. He turned his head and noticed their guests. "You could have called." He complained, but Serena just shrugged her shoulders.

"I didn't believe I would've found you... In these conditions, that is." She tried to justify herself as she and her guest approached the couch.

"Why did you bring... Him anyway. We were celebrating." Blair tried to move the focus on another topic.

Serena glanced at her side. Her guest was particularly out of place. "Tell her! Or I'll do it." She encouraged him with a grin.

"I'm sorry I invaded your privacy but, Chuck I can see your ass from here and it's not nice." He informed him with sarcasm as Chuck tried to cover his legs and not uncover Blair. "Me and Serena are together now. She wanted me to tell you to see well, huh... If you're okay."

"And if you're not I don't care." Serena said bumping her boyfriend's arm.

"Don't tell me you came this far from your Brooklyn loft to tell us you're together. We already knew. Lily spilled the beans when we were having dinner at your house, sis." Chuck said.

"And...?" Serena looked like she wanted to hear more.

"And what, Serena? Do you want us to approve of your being Dan Humphrey's girlfriend. If he makes you happy we're happy too. We couldn't be more happy." Blair grinned.

"Congratulations, anyway!" Serena jumped like a little girl.

"Wait, wait. What's happening if I may?" Dan asked. He looked lost.

"You're going to be an uncle, Humphrey. Not sure my son will like you though."

Chuck and Dan exchanged a look and then they all started to giggle lightly. It wasn't like Chuck and Dan hated each other, they just made fun of the other sometimes. Chuck bet ten bucks that Dan and Serena would marry someday, and he would become his brother in law, but at that point it didn't matter anymore.

He and Blair would marry in few months and a baby was on the way. There was nothing more they could want from life and it wouldn't be a Dan Humphrey to stop them.

"Funny, Chuck. Now we can go I think" Serena added. "You've got business to handle guys. Take care." She said before taking Dan's hand and go out of their house.

Chuck and Blair sighed loudly when they were left alone.

"Thank God I suggested you to cover us before we fell asleep or I would've been ashamed. You clearly didn't want Humphrey to check my ass, right?"

"More than your ass" he said as his hand fell from her hips to her bare back, "I was worried he could have seen your boobs. They've grown up so much since two months ago." He winked.

"It's normal, silly. They will become bigger in few months."

"True." He smirked while he was caressing her back. "It's good. We will baptize another of the furniture of our house by then. Deal?"

She smiled and kissed him lightly. "Sure. Let's just not leave the elevator open to anyone. I don't want other people to invade our private moments, the moments that will be of our baby. We need to create our family first and then they can enter our lives."

His hand went on her cheek and he caressed her. Her skin looked so soft and smelt so good. "I will remember it next time. I swear. But now can we just eat something? I'm starving."

He jumped off the couch naked and went out of the room.

"Chuck. Where are you going? Someone else could come." Blair addressed him.

Chuck turned just before he had to go right for the kitchen. She was excited to see his arousal still there, as if he never stopped being turned on by her.

"I'm going to secure the elevator. It's going to be you, me and our baby tonight, and I don't want any Dan Humphrey to visit us. And I hate clothes today so it's better if you go closing the windows too if you don't want the people of the building next to this to see you."

He disappeared into the corridor then, and Blair put his jacket on to go doing what he asked her. She then reached him. He was sitting on a chair eating a bowl of what looked like cereals. He suggested her to come where he was and she fixed herself on his leg. He removed his jacket from her and she shivered at first, but it wasn't for the cold. She placed her head in the crook of his neck and he secured his hand on her belly. He started caressing it while eating as she stole few of the cereals from the bowl.

"You know, Chuck... I believe you're really going to be a good Father."

"What makes you believe this?" He asked with curiosity.

"I saw it at the Hospital. The way you were looking at the monitor... You were in love."

He turned to her and their faces were few inches apart. "Do you really believe that?"

"I do."

"Then I will be." He agreed, and then he wildly kissed her. There wasn't anything that he needed to know more than she believed in him. He would be a good Father.


	4. Green

Thank you for all the awesome reviews. I just hope this fanfiction entertains you for long, I'm already planning the other chapters. : )

….

She could tell from the look on his face that he was annoyed.

They were in some expensive boutique of the 5th Ave and Blair had tried a lot of dresses, but couldn't find one that would fit on her. They were too small, or too big. Since she was now in her fourth month of pregnancy, the belly was a bit evident. She still managed to hide it, but people started to talk, but they didn't make a big deal about it yet.

Chuck's PR had suggested it. It would be more gossip if told later, and they would have more privacy. Not that Blair cared when the world would know that she was pregnant, but still.

"So when are we going to tell the press? KC said the sixth month would be okay" Blair mumbled one time while they were eating lunch together.

He sighed and shook his head, as to think about it. "Do you want to tell the press?" he had asked her, not sure of what Blair really wanted. "You are the pregnant one."

Blair blurted into laughter when he made that beat. She pursed her lips together as to show him she wasn't amused by the clear evidence, and said "Would it be okay? Wouldn't it be a scandal? I mean, people know we've been together for years, but what if they believe we're getting married just because I'm pregnant?"

"It's pretty much clear we're not becoming husband and wife just because you're pregnant, Blair" he said with a calm tone, "And you can't hide your belly for long. They're going to know it one way or another."

She had debated that maybe they could just wait one more month, but he looked pretty indifferent to the thing that after a while she gave up. Chuck didn't really bother of when they would release a statement to tell New York they were expecting, he wanted her to decide. He wanted her to be comfortable about it.

Chuck knew her too well to assume that she wanted to tell everyone that she was pregnant because otherwise people would start thinking she was getting fat or perhaps a breast surgery.

Her boobs became so much bigger than they were the month before.

She was fixing her lingerie one day, looking at her reflection on the mirror, and he walked in the room. He suddenly noticed the tiny bump that was slowly forming and a smile appeared on his features.

Blair was trying to button her bra, but it looked like it didn't want to hook, so he got behind her and tried to give her a hand. "It doesn't work, Blair" he informed her. "There's too much space between the hooks that I can't even try to stretch them out. I would've ruined your favorite La Perla if I tried."

Blair had heaved heavily and got rid of the piece of underwear fast, she had to find another one that would work or she would go out bra less.

He watched from behind as she barely lowered down to pick another bra from the drawer to try it, her breasts free to wander on her chest made him lick his lips with lust.

"I can't believe I can't find a bra to wear, I can't believe it! I'm not even in the eight month!" she said angrily as she finally managed to button one of her favorite bras, "Think how much my boobs will grow by then. I would need Dorota's bras when they do."

Chuck watched with amusement as she wore a blue dress. He had opted to wait for her sitting on the edge of their bed, the view was even better from there. "Well, then we'll buy new lingerie" he had said, "So you'll feel comfortable. And so will your boobs." He giggled lightly.

She turned abruptly to watch him chuckle nicely. "What are you laughing at? I bet you're enjoying this" she said a bit disappointed. He just looked away briefly and smirked, so she moved forward to him, putting herself in between his open legs to watch him closely.

"Of course I do" he simply answered. She pouted.

She crossed her arms on her chest. She looked down and tried to avoid his stare. She started to imagine the future, when her body would change more and probably make her look like a big whale. "You won't enjoy when my ass will become bigger that when I sit on your lap" she whispered softly, her gaze still looking away from him "And my hips will make me look like an armchair... Or worse. You won't enjoy it" she repeated with a dramatic tone.

He took both of her hands gently from her chest and onto his, then he kissed them. He decided to weight on her hands to push her on him, her still tiny body fell with deliberation on his as her butt perfectly lied down on his thigh. She couldn't help but turning then, her eyes met his and her mouth feel open.

"You are so stupid to even think I would get tired of you" he said, his lips soon on hers to give her a quick peck on the lips "Even a noteworthy ass or a voluptuous breast won't change a thing. The fact that you are -we are going to have a child, won't change who you are. Getting pregnant makes inevitable that your body will change, but change isn't equivalent of losing. The love I feel for your won't fade just because you don't get in your size 4 dress. Plus, I'll have something more to squeeze when we have sex" he grinned jokingly to make her smile.

But Blair didn't look like she had got his point when she found herself in a boutique with him and noticed that she couldn't get in a size 4 dress she had spotted before they got in.

She was trying to make it fit for about twenty minutes that far, and outside of the dressing room Chuck was getting really bored. He had asked her if the dress fitted her, but she had just given him a rushed answer that he didn't take it good, he knew there must've been a reason why she had answered with such touchiness.

"Miss, is the dress good? We have a bigger size if you need it" one of the salesladies had informed her ten minutes before. Chuck had promptly put a finger on his mouth as to shut her up and not let her say those 'bigger size' words to his girlfriend.

So the saleslady stepped back nodding, she went in the back of the boutique to look for another dress for Blair as Chuck tried to talk to his fiancée. He knew what was stopping Blair from getting out, the dress probably wasn't of the size she needed in that moment since her belly was bigger and her whole body was changing. It wasn't easy to do up a zip of a dress when you have like a great stomach ahead of you.

Chuck stepped towards the dress room slowly, but he didn't open the curtain. He thought that surprise her in the middle of her drama wasn't the right thing. She would've kicked him out of the boutique maybe.

"Blair" he said her name softly, his voice almost a whisper.

Twenty or more seconds passed before he could hear her say "I don't like this dress."

"It doesn't fit good?" he just asked, he didn't want to get into the matter too much.

There was silence again on the other side. He thought that she wasn't prone to let this go just yet, but she had to. She had to understand nothing would change when she'll wear a size 6. She will get rid of that size once she'll have their baby. It would be for just a few months.

"It doesn't... Fit" she exhaled deeply after a while "At... all." She said the words struggling, she didn't want to let him know that she felt ashamed that she was getting fatter because of the pregnancy, but that's how her voice came out.

He wasn't fully sure of what to do, so he asked before doing anything. "Can I come in?"

He waited impatiently for an answer, but she just opened the door of the dressing room slightly to let him get in.

The dressing room was pretty big so they fit together in that space, but he just tried to stay next to her, he wanted to let her know that he wanted to be close and admire her body. He didn't want to analyze anything of her figure whatsoever. He just wanted her to be happy.

She turned to the mirror, and so he noticed. The zip wouldn't go up than the half of the dress, that in that moment looked exactly like the bra she was trying to button that morning.

She was staring at her reflection with a blank face.

"Would you like to try another one? The lady said there are some dresses you'll like" Chuck tried to say, but Blair shook her head soon.

"I want to go to another boutique" she said, her tone firm "It will fit in another place."

Chuck sighed and rolled his eyes. His hands were in his pockets and he was trying to figure out how to make her reason without being too rude. If he wasn't so thoughtful and calm that morning, he would've told her to just get off that dress and ask for a larger size so that it would finally fit and they could finally go to a nice restaurant to eat. He indeed told her that, but with a nicer tone.

"Blair." His tone was firm, but she didn't turn. She kept staring at herself in the mirror. Chuck stepped forward "I know that this may be hard for you now, but you need to do it. You can't go out with unzipped dresses and pretend that they fit when they don't."

"I'm not doing such thing, I'm just saying that - "

"That what, Blair? The dress isn't made like it should and that's why it doesn't fit? That she gave you a 0 instead of a 4? Stop lying to yourself. It won't work. Accept your state."

Blair turned abruptly, then "I do accept my state! And the dress doesn't fit because it doesn't. It's the style. Stop trying to give me life lessons" she said roughly and started to undress.

Chuck raised his eyebrows questioningly "Then just ask for a size 6. It won't hurt. I'll stay with you. I'm sure you'll feel better after" he tried to explain, but she just went out in her slip to call the saleslady. He reached her to see and listen to what she wanted to do.

"I'm sorry, this dress doesn't fit. Perhaps you have a Greek model size 4?"

"I'm going to pick up few models. Be right back" the lady said as Blair gave her the dress.

Blair turned to him and he was watching her intently. "What?" she asked after a while, but the saleslady came back before he could respond with a stack of dresses.

Chuck kept himself calm and silent in the corner of the dressing room, watching as his fiancée started trying few of the new outfits.

It looked like the problem was always the same. She had a larger waistline, bigger boobs, and even a bigger ass. The dresses wouldn't zip, not a bit, not when the saleslady asked to come in and Blair reluctantly let her in to help.

"You'll need a bigger size, Miss" the woman informed Blair when then eleventh dress wouldn't fit at all. "I'm going to pick it up." But Blair stopped her and instead decided to go out of the boutique, she was bored to shop already.

….

So after three hours of not realizing she needed a size 6, the couple was now sitting on a bench in Central Park. He was massaging his temples while Blair had her legs crossed and looked like she was waiting for something to happen. "What are we doing here" she had asked Chuck at some point. "I still need a new dress. And so do you."

"I never said I wanted a new outfit" he interjected "It's not like I'm pregnant."

At the word, Blair tapped his mouth with a hand, making him startle. "Do you want someone to hear you, Bass? That's so unreasonable of you."

Both of Chuck's eyebrows rose, he looked amused and skeptic "Haven't we talked about this? So you've finally decided when to tell the press? Enlighten me" he asked.

She sighed and bit her lip, starting to play with her purse "I did, in fact. I spoke to my Mother yesterday when you were asleep and she said is better to pretend nothing is going on now" she tilted her head right "Just because, next month... It will be better next month."

Chuck frowned and looked at his feet. He started to think and reason on her answer, but the affirmation didn't make sense just yet. "Next month? I know KC suggested it, but why?"

"Because I decided so" she just answered, then stood up and started walking away. "Hurry up, I need to visit Saks before we go to lunch" she called, and Chuck followed her.

….

It was now afternoon when Blair had finally found a dress. It was dark red and had a nice skirt, it was almost perfect for someone who wanted to hide their belly because they were fat, and perfect for Blair that wanted to hide her belly because she was pregnant.

"The dress is perfect, isn't it?" she asked to one of the salesladies.

The young girl nodded and grinned, the dress looked good in fact. Chuck had been watching the entire scene from a chair nearby, his attention more on the saleslady than on Blair. The fact was that he called her while Blair was choosing what to try, and asked her to cut the label of whatever dress Blair was going to pick, it didn't matter if he had to pay for dresses that didn't fit her, they would fit in the future. The only thing that wanted was to open her eyes.

He asked the saleslady to pick a dress 6 despite the fact the Blair would ask for a 4, he gave her 500$ to do the trick, and she obviously accepted the challenge.

Blair turned to Chuck and spun on her heels just for him. "How do I look?" she asked, and her fiancé smirked before answering her.

"Gorgeous. Red suits you."

She had smiled and felt lighthearted, and her mood obviously became better when she tried other dresses and they fitted her. It was normal they did, they were a fake size.

Chuck was proud of himself for have thought about that, he also had a little gift when Blair had decided it was enough for the day. Blair in fact had innocently called him into the dressing room asking him to zip up the dress she was trying. She didn't just let him do what she asked for, she also reached for his hand and let him wander under the skirt. It felt so good and relieving for him, the day was changing in better. Now they only had to eat something.

…

The limo took them to an Italian restaurant not far from the shops they had visited that day. It was almost 5pm when they sat down around the tiny table, both were starving. The Italian food was the one Blair looked like craving that month, so it was like inevitable to stop there to eat instead of going to a normal restaurant like Chuck had planned to do. And he had to bribe the meter because there weren't any tables that weren't booked that night.

"Finally. I deserve a hot meal after all that tiring trying of clothes" Blair commented while eating some ravioli pasta from her dish.

Chuck sipped a bit of his red wine and rolled his eyes, trying to avoid her gaze. "And I for all of my patience, I guess" he said. "But in the end it was worth it. The dresses look amazing on you" he added smirking at her.

She smiled innocently and looked down at her plate "This dish is amazing, Chuck. I am happy you found a table at this restaurant. How did you do?" She asked, curious.

Chuck giggled lightly, "I told him that my fiancée was pregnant and she craved for some Italian food" he joked, he just wanted to see her reaction to that affirmation.

She pouted and narrowed her eyes. She didn't answer him, and he knew he had moved something in her when they finished at the restaurant and she didn't say a word in the limo, she didn't even lay on him like she used to, she stayed pretty much curled on her side of the limo and stared at the world passing them by.

He started to getting annoyed by the silence once the clock ticked eight-thirty and she started to prepare for the night. It wasn't usual for Blair, she and Chuck didn't go to bed before midnight and they passed a hour or two reading or watching TV in bed, or they just talked about their day, they cuddled.

But that evening looked different. Did she find out about the labels on the dresses?

When he saw her headed right in the bathroom probably to take a shower, he grabbed her arm. She turned abruptly and didn't look quite happy. "What do you want?"

Chuck's tone was firm and neutral. He didn't want to fight. "What's wrong, Blair?"

She sighed loudly and looked away "There's nothing wrong" she said angrily. "Now let me go. I need to shower!" she practically yelled, but he didn't let go of her arm just yet.

"Something is not right. I want to help" he pleaded.

She bit her lip and freed from his grip "Looks like you already did" she retorted "I know what you did with the dresses. You changed them and picked a larger size just so I would be happy! You shouldn't have done this. You shouldn't have" she cried out with rage "I checked when I took them out of the bags. I knew it was too good to be true!"

"Then what's wrong in that, huh?" he spit back "I just wanted you to be happy! I know how much you wanted to go shopping, but if you kept lying to yourself you would've ended up deluded, and then this would go on you would pretend to fit in a 4 when you are a 6."

She narrowed her eyes "Is this what you're saying? I can't accept being like this?" she pointed to her belly "I accepted it long long time ago, for your information. I just don't love when my favorite skirts open and my lovely stockings rip, that's all. Is it enough reason?"

Chuck closed his eyes briefly and massaged his temples. "I am just saying that you aren't accepting the fact of being larger" he said, regretting the term as soon as it went out of his mouth "Because of the baby," he added.

Blair put a hand on her hip questioningly "Just say it" she begged, her eyes starting to water as she looked away from him "Say it! And let's get over with it."

He frowned "What? There's nothing left to say. I already said what I thought."

She shook her head angrily "So have I. And I don't want you in this bed tonight" she said heading towards the bathroom door "I'm not sure if I want you tomorrow either. So you better pack some of your things and go before I go wash myself" she said without turning, her eyes full of tears but her voice still firm.

She waited for an answer but he didn't say anything. She just heard the resounding noise the door of the bedroom made when he strongly shut it. She wiped her tears or better tried to, and then shut the bathroom door behind her. As soon as she had her hot shower and went out of the room thinking she had made a mistake ordering him to go, she went looking for Chuck in the whole penthouse without success. She wasn't aware of where he could be at first, then she received a text.

….

The following morning was a blast for her to wake up and find the other side empty.

Not that he didn't go to work early and left her alone in the bed before, but this time was different. He had finally brought his work home and he just went to his Hotels for two or three hours a day to check few things, then he practically worked in his old style office with ebony furniture and high priced paintings from Sotheby's.

She rubbed her eyes and turned on her light blue bed pillowcase. It occurred to her that she might had cried during the night because it had few stains. She rolled in bed and checked her phone on the nightstand. No calls, no texts besides the one from Serena of the night before.

_I'm telling you just because he asked me. He's staying at Lily's. He said take your time to decide and then let him know. - S_

What she had to let him know, she had no idea. Was he thinking that she wanted him out of the house for good? She asked herself the question many times and she always said no. Then why did she order him to get out? She was mad, but it wasn't something she couldn't fix if she thought about it. It wasn't something they couldn't resolve. They wanted to get married. She wanted to get married. She was sure. She was also sure she wanted that baby, and that if she had to become 'larger' like he said, she couldn't stop it. She had to accept it.

She sighed and then went to take another shower.

When she went out, she stared at her reflection in the mirror. She had a white towel wrapped around her body that made her belly more evident now that she looked closely at it. It made her frown, she thought how her body would change in few months but told herself that she had chosen, and that if she was sure she didn't have to change her mind.

….

She wore one of the new dresses he had bought her, and decided to go straight to the Van der Woodsens. It was an edgy dress with peplum detail at the waist, and it was pale pink. It was sleeveless, she wore it without a coat because it was a hot day. The thing that she wanted was that the dress would wrap tightly around her.

When she walked into the Van der Woodsen's penthouse, nobody came to greet her but Lily. She was surprised at first to see her, Serena had told her mother was away with Rufus.

"Blair, dear" she greeted her with a hug and looked at her future daughter-in-law with excitement. "This is dress is so lovely, is it new?" she asked with curiosity.

Blair smiled "Yeah, I bought it yesterday and thought I wanted to christen it today" she said.

"Did you come for him?" Lily asked kindly when she walked Blair into the living room, she just wondered. Blair didn't feel like saying yes out loud, so she just nodded in response. Lily lowered her voice when she answered "He's in his old room. He didn't tell me why he needed to stay the night, and I didn't ask" she explained before a long pause. "If you have problems, Blair... I know you two love each other, but the life together as husband and wife is different than the one as a couple."

Blair sighed and looked briefly away "Thank you, Lily. I'm going to fix this one" she added before hugging her again and walking away to Chuck's old room.

The corridor wasn't that long. She spotted the familiar door on the left at the end of it, and didn't knock. When she slightly opened the door she found the room darker than usual. There was a warming sun outside, but the curtains were closed. She saw the unmade bed and a book next to the pillow, but he was nowhere in sight. She looked on the left and reached the windows, but he wasn't in the corner of the room either.

"I wasn't expecting you this early" a voice said after few seconds with a bit of sadness, Blair turned and he was sitting in the opposite direction on an armchair. He had the same shirt he was wearing the day before, and his hair were a bit ruffled.

She cut the distance but didn't dare to get too close to him. "What I did yesterday was wrong" she started to explain "I didn't have to get out out of the house."

He looked serious at her "But you did" he commented, his words low but strong and cold.

She bit her lip, she hated when he was being cold. "What you did yesterday" she started "I didn't want it, hence, I dreaded it, but... Looked like it was needed" she continued as she tightened the grip on her bag when he casually avoided her gaze "Can you believe it? A life is growing in me. At first I thought it was going to ruin my body, but now... Now I see it as a blessing. If God gave me this child then, then it's a gift" she said. At the last words, he turned. She was standing still in front of him, clearly anxious. He didn't answer, though, so she decided to continue. "And you were right" she repeated "I am in need of larger set of clothing. So if you want to, we can go shopping now" she said trying to smile.

Chuck opened his mouth in disbelief, then he stood up. "Are you sure you're ready?" he asked, his tone serious than before as Blair looked puzzled "I just need it to know. Because if you don't want to be in this anymore – get married, well, then... We'll figure something out for this baby when it's born. You just have to ask, because we -"

She trailed him off and reached for his arms "I want this baby, Chuck. And I want to marry you, I really do" she smiled at him "We could have lost it two months ago, but he didn't give up. He stayed. He wants to stay with us" she said with tears in her eyes.

He smirked at that point, and pushed her in his arms for a tight hug. It wasn't his usual behavior, but he was too happy to hear that she had gone past that issue finally. "You have no idea how much you made me happy with this" he confessed with a low tone, a shy tone "How ecstatic I am to have this child" he said sheepishly.

Blair gripped her arms around him and kindly whispered an "I love you" as they stayed that way for way too much seconds until he leaned her back to look at her dress.

"Is this dress new?" he asked smirking.

She puckered her lips "It is. If I'm not wrong you chose it" she answered.

"I did. I remember I said how much this color makes your skin look like porcelain, and your lips full and so kissable" he said with pride.

She lowered her head briefly, he had made her feel shy again "But you still have your shirt from yesterday, Mr Bass. Is not cool, and we don't match" she said with a silly tone "I believe we should get rid of it and give it to someone to wash it, and call Dorota to get you a new shirt and a pink tie... Don't you think?" she said as she started to open his shirt.

"Whatever you want, honey, but at one condition" he licked his lips when her hands started moving on his heavy chest "Since I need to have a shower, I believe it's better if you supervise it... You know, I may not wash myself well. I have no idea how to clean my back" he made an innocent face as his lips formed a little childish pout and he started moving backwards towards the bathroom of his old room.

….

Almost a hour later, he was lying in the bathtub and she was in between his legs, her head on his shoulder as he had his arms gripped on her stomach. His head was casually leaned forward on hers as her gave her kisses here and there, and she giggled in response.

"How many months are left?" he asked out of the blue.

She didn't need to count on her hands as she just did the maths in her head "Almost five" she answered slightly turning her head towards him.

He nodded, then there was a brief pause "I can't wait" he confessed.

Blair smiled and she was lighthearted at the sound of his words "Me too" she said "I can't wait to see how he will look like. I just hope he doesn't have your head" she giggled.

"What's wrong with my head?"

"You have a big head, Bass" she informed him as she barely turned to mess his hair "If I don't want the hole between my legs to become as big as the hole in the ozone layer, he better not have your head" she shrugged her shoulders.

"He's a Bass, he'll surely have my big head. He can have your slim body if you want, or your dark eyes" he commented.

She bit her lip "But I love your eyes" she complained "He'll be the most beautiful baby if he has your caramel eyes" she turned and kissed his neck. "And if he's as talented as you in charming women, he'll have great success for sure" she grinned.

"He's a Bass" he repeated "he'll surely be a successful man. Like his parents" he added.

Blair giggled lightly and then stood up from the bathtub. "We've been here for too long, Bass. Lily may wonder what are we doing here" she said as she extended her hand and he grabbed it and stood up too, their bodies against each other.

She could feel his wet skin pressed on her body and it made her feel good. His hardness stressed her inner tight as her breasts were tough on his chest. His hands started to push the back of her shoulders into him as he entered her. His tongue was working her lips as the rhythm slowly continued and he went in and out of her, both in between her legs and with his tongue in her mouth.

The muscles of his shoulders stiffened when he gave her one hard push, she dug her nails into his bare back and freed herself from his kiss to let out a quiet moan of pleasure on his shoulder. The sudden eagerness to bite his muscles there was irresistible that she couldn't stop it, she bit his skin sweetly as he still managed his push into her tiny body.

He was working a way on her bare back now. He managed to lift her leg up his hip to thrust into her with more decision than few minutes earlier, then he reached the climax too, he gritted his teeth and a muffled moan went out of his mouth, several times as he kept coming in her out of her. She wasn't any better in hiding her moans of pleasure, she hoped no one would hear. They had shut the door after all, who would dare to get in?

He started squeezing her back as he slowly let her leg drop on the floor of the bathtub, their lips crushing again, harder, and their bodies pressed together as they were sticked with glue.

They seem like unstoppable, he didn't seem tired after a while, and neither was she. What she needed was just a deep and profound contact with him, something to prove once again that they were connected, that they loved each other, every inch of each other.

But it was too late to cover each other when they heard a voice "Chuck, are you here? Mom wants to know if you're going to -" she cut her voice off when she got in the room, a naked Chuck and Blair exposed under the eyes of an incredulous Serena.

"Serena!" Blair almost yelled and tried to cover Chuck's frontal part while he looked like he didn't give a damn that Serena could see him naked "Haven't you heard of knock?"

Serena covered her mouth with a hand and started giggling, "I'm sorry! I'm sorry. Mom just wanted me to see if you had sneaked away from the window, but it looks you haven't" she kept laughing watching her and then Chuck with amusement.

"What are you staring at! Serena!" Blair admonished her friend when her eyes dropped elsewhere, probably on her bare ass. "Leave us alone!"

"Don't worry, I can't see his pecker from here" she shook her head "I'll see you later in the living room" she excused herself still laughing before going away.

When her friend was gone, Blair refocused on her fiancé. She was slightly annoyed when he noticed he was laughing. She collapsed on his chest because she flushed and she didn't want him to notice, and whispered something "Let's get dressed, now!"

….

Blair and Chuck managed to get in their clothes again. Blair had called Dorota, and the woman had picked a fresh suit for him to wear. Now she had a pale pink dress and he had a pale pink bow tie. They finally matched as they went out of Chuck's old room to go back to their penthouse.

Serena and Lily were there, and it looked like Dan and Rufus had joined them. They were all sipping tea, when they heard the sound of Blair's heels on the marble floor, everyone turned.

"Hi there, guys" Rufus said, all cheered up. "It's good to see you here. Haven't catch up in a while" he added, then sipped his cup of tea.

Chuck and Blair walked towards them hand in hand, Blair was a bit awkward because Serena kept staring at her with an amused expression "It's good to see you too, Rufus" Chuck said. "I'm sorry I came here without telling anyone, and stopped your plans to leave with Lily."

"But we're going to leave now, Charles" Lily said as she stood up, and Rufus followed her. "Our suitcases are already in the car. I just wanted to say goodbye to you and Blair." She said as she reached him and Blair to hug them, then she did the same with Serena and Dan. She turned before going, and so did Rufus. "Well, we'll see you in two weeks" she added.

"Take care of the house, you two" Rufus recommended to Dan and Serena, then waved.

The four of them watched each other awkwardly when the parents left the house. Blair was still a bit embarrassed for the situation of few minutes before, and Serena made the things harder when she started to laugh out loud.

"There's nothing to laugh for, Serena!" Blair blurted out angry.

"I am seriously embarrassed, seriously. I'm sorry" she tried to apologized within a giggle. "But I swear I didn't see his pecker, Blair" she put a hand on her forehead.

"Thank God you didn't" Blair rolled her eyes "God, I feel so disconcerted for you too, Serena. Because you could have knocked. That's what fists are made for" she explained.

"I didn't think" she kept giggling "I was just looking for Chuck, but who cares now? I didn't see his pecker anyway" she repeated, and Blair inhaled deeply.

Chuck was laughing up on his sleeve, while Dan looked totally lost. "W-what's going on?"

"Your girlfriend was about to see my fiancé's... _Pecker_" she dreaded the word but she used it anyway "But my body shielded him so she didn't see. It would've been betrayal, you know."

Dan frowned and an awkward grin appeared on his features "I'm not jealous" he said.

"You're not jealous?" Serena popped in and threw a pillow on Dan's head. He shook his head and they started a pillow fight Blair and Chuck avoided to join.

"Call me if you don't destroy Lily's feather pillows" Blair called while Serena and Dan played with each other. She just heard her friend say 'yes' before entering in the elevator with Chuck. They were holding each other's hand, and when the elevator started to go down they couldn't help but burst into laughter too.

"I noticed you're not wearing a coat today. Aren't you afraid of the belly showing?"

Blair grinned and gripped the hold on his hand "I'm not. After yesterday I realized that everyone should share this happiness with me. I want everyone to know that I'm expecting."

"That we are expecting" he corrected her "Remember I helped too" he raised both eyebrows.

She giggled lightly and put her head on his shoulder. The elevator's bell rang and they went outside.

"You always help me" she confessed, and he smiled warmly. They got in the limo to finally explore the town without secrets this time.


	5. Yellow

Hello, how are you? I wanted to post this chapter last week but it was my birthday and I had few things to do so I forgot. I hope the waiting was worth it. Thank you very much for your feedback!

….

Like they decided the month before, they were going to tell everyone that they were going to have a baby soon. They both agreed that the Bass Industries party that was going to be hold at the Palace in the middle of June, was perfect. It was the best moment indeed, because there would be all of the New York's elite, and the reporters, and also, the people who didn't know anything about their future child because they had been absent for long.

Two of these people, for example, were Nate and Jenny. The pairing got together the year before after a long, long, struggle. Rufus Humphrey didn't accept the fact that his only young daughter fell in love with Nate, he tried to tell him that he had to leave her alone, but Nate didn't give up. Once Jenny finished High School, they flew off for Europe and didn't get back if not for Christmas Holidays.

Nate couldn't imagine she was pregnant, Blair swore. He still didn't know about them getting married, but that was an easy thing to expect since Chuck had confessed her that he wanted to propose on New Year's Eve but then he changed his mind, and Nate was the first to know.

On the other hand, Chuck had thrown this party to celebrate Bass Industries.

It was exactly two years after he had taken over the company from Lily's. The company had grown a lot during his administration, and everyone was proud of him, but it wasn't the only thing that they needed to celebrate that day.

For sure Blair didn't want to forget that date, and she wanted to give something to Chuck. She had already started thinking about a gift to give him, but came up with nothing yet.

"I told you, it should be something unforgettable" she complained one day while walking in the streets of the Upper East Side "I don't want a stupid 10,000$ watch or a set of bow ties. It needs to be special."

She was talking with Serena on the phone, but her friend seemed to be of no help "Then make the gift yourself, don't you think? That is going to be something unforgettable."

Blair kept walking until she saw Ralph Lauren and decided to get in "What could I do? I suck at surprises" she sighed "I better pick up something random, like-" she trailed off when she met knowing eyes "I'll call you later, Serena. Bye!" She hang up soon.

She smiled widely at the man who was few paces from her, they hadn't seen each other for months and she didn't expect to find him there.

"Nate! It's good to see you" she hugged him tightly. "What are you doing here? I didn't think I would ever find you in this place" she shrugged, surprised.

He smiled "Well, tonight there's Chuck's party and I don't want to go in jeans and t-shirt."

Blair made a face "Then if you want, I can help you choose something. You like my sense of style, right?" she grinned and patted his shoulder lightly.

Nate nodded his head absent-intendedly, and didn't add more.

The old pair of friends started wandering around the shop to find something suitable for Nate. Blair regretted that she had met his old friend because she wouldn't be able to pick up something for Chuck, but after all, she had missed him that she didn't care. She would think about a gift later, she still had few hours left after all.

"I've always liked your style" he nodded "but I don't think pink suits me much" he raised both eyebrows "like it suits Chuck" he said. He frowned then continued after a few "What about him, anyway?"

She pursed her lips together and then waved her hand for him to see it. Nate nodded swiftly and added "Finally he did propose! This is so amazing. I don't know why he didn't tell me anything, he didn't send a text either."

Blair raised an eyebrow "And neither did you, Nathaniel" she admonished him.

Nate sighed "I know, I know. I've been a bad friend. But hey, now I have a girlfriend! We toured Europe and I barely had time to sleep at night" he explained as Blair frowned. "We didn't sleep much, you know" he looked around, a bit shy.

"Good old, Nate" she giggled "I'm impressed. You've never been this long with a girl since Serena. You're making progress" she patted his shoulder a lot of times while they spotted some nice outfits.

"And you and Chuck... I can't believe you're really getting married."

She put a hand on her hip, amused "People change, Nate. Two years ago I wouldn't have believed it either, but now... Now I'm sure that he's the man of my life."

Nate nodded again, then Blair saw his eyes fall on her baby bump. That day, she had a Greek dress. It was tight under her breasts and really really large from her breasts to her thighs. It was dark blue, and if you didn't look close, you couldn't see that she was actually five months pregnant.

"Oh my God" he just exclaimed, his tone was loud and made some customers turn "I can't really believe it, Blair. You're kidding me. Tell me I'm foreseeing."

Blair bit her lip and looked down for a brief second "You weren't supposed to know it now" she said sheepishly "It was something you and all the other people would have known tonight" she explained.

"I see" he said with a happy tone as Blair phone rang. She let it rang for a while until Nate said she could pick up, they would talk later.

"Chuck" she turned and answered his fiancée politely "I'm... Out, what about you? Oh, is already 4pm? No, no. you don't need to pick me up, I'll take a cab. Love you" she said in a rush and then hang up.

"Do you have to go?" Nate asked.

She saddened a bit and then nodded "My husband -Chuck, he needs me to fix his clothes. But we'll see each other tonight, Nate. I've missed you" she hugged him for the second time that day. "Find a nice suit. Maybe grey. And match it with a light blue tie!" she said when they parted. "And don't forget to bring your girlfriend" she added while she started walking away.

Nate nodded "I will, I will" he smiled. "See you tonight, Blair" he added.

….

More than thirty minutes later, Blair was home.

It didn't take her much to find Chuck. He was apparently waiting for her, sitting on the big armchair of the living room. She found him asleep, his head on the arm of the furniture, and a hand under it. She removed her heels and walked barefoot till she was facing him, and then started caressing his dark, thick hair, lightly. He didn't move at first, but then he slowly opened his eyes and smiled slightly. "Hello..." he said in a sleepy tone.

Blair knelt down and kissed the top of his nose. "I'm sorry I was late" she said. "I had few errands to run before the party... Few details to go on my dress" she raised a small bag she was carrying, and he nodded.

He rubbed his eye and settled himself on the armchair. "What did you buy?"

She showed him the sandals she had bought, then tried to change subject. She didn't want to confess him that she was also looking for something to give him that night, and that she hadn't found anything suitable because she had met Nate at Ralph Lauren's, and it wasn't like she used to go every day to that boutique since they sold male outfits.

"Aren't those too high for you?" he asked, a bit worried. He frowned when he asked her the question, and she frowned in response.

"The Jimmy Choo? But, I'm used to 4'' heels" she complained.

He raised an eyebrow questioningly and pushed her on the chair with him. She was now sitting on his right leg when he spoke again. "You could get tired" he explained "You have more weight now, because of the baby. Maybe you'll need different shoes?" he asked as he stroked her hip gently.

Blair didn't want to go against him since he was just giving her advice, but she knew herself well to know that she would be able to pass three hours on high heels.

"Thank you for the advice, but no" she said firmly "And apparently I'm not the one who could get too tired because of my shoes" she rolled her eyes and looked at his bare feet.

He glared and looked away "Those shoes were new" he growled "And plus, it's hot outside. Anyone with leather shoes would feel their feet like they're caged."

She pursed her lips "Yeah, right" she agreed and sighed. "Don't you think we should start to prepare for the night, now? I can prepare us a hot bath" she said as she winked at him.

"Actually, I was thinking that since it's almost Summer a tepid shower would be better."

He didn't have to add anything more. Blair dropped her sandals on the floor and run off the stairs to the bathroom of their great bedroom, and he followed her shortly behind.

….

Taking a shower together was an activity they've been doing for a while. It was on their usual schedule since the weather had been really hot. They had air-conditioners in their house, but have that little washing moment was something that always cooled their hearts more.

He had brushed her back, and she had washed his dark hair. They had French kissed, and he had given into her slowly as the water flowed. She would press her chest on his to feel him closer as he helped himself into her, and he would whisper kind words into her ear. They would play with water until their skin was wrinkled, and they had to turn the water off.

They both looked satisfied when they checked themselves in the mirror of the bathroom.

Blair started to examine her baby bump once out, her eyes fell on her belly button. "This just looks so weird" she said, her hand brushing the center of her stomach.

Chuck frowned as he neared her "What's wrong, Blair?" he asked with worry in his voice.

She just kept looking at her reflection in the mirror and pout like a child. Chuck watched her intently as she tried to keep the air inside of her chest, like when you try to zip a pair of trousers but you can't because they're too tight that you need to hold your stomach in.

"My stomach" she explained.

He sighed as he started to dry his hair with a towel "I thought you got over this - " he was cut off as Blair interjected quickly.

"No, no, no. I'm not complaining about my weight again. It's just weird, makes me laugh" she giggled and kept caressing the spot "It looks like it's getting bigger as the week pass... Makes my stomach look like a lifebuoy."

Chuck got closer to her and he pressed his body on hers. She instantly felt his crotch on her back and had the goosebumps. He brought his hand gently on the spot where hers was lying, and covered it. He then looked in the mirror and smiled "Well I would pretend I can't swim to use that thing" he kissed her neck from behind "It's adorable."

She raised her head and looked in front of her too. She smiled when she saw him still grinning and gripping both arms around her.

…

Later that night, the limo picked them up to reach the party he had organized.

Blair wore a light blue silk gown with the shoes she had bought that morning, while Chuck wore a simple black suit with a matching bow tie. It was good that he looked great despite the eccentric color. Not that they had to always match, but they liked when they did, they loved people noticing how they cared to pay attention to details.

The couple reached the Hotel where paparazzi where waiting for them and few other important people they had invited to their party.

He kept faking smiles the whole time. "You don't mind I called them, right" he whispered in her ear when they reached the entrance doors, and got in.

"Are you kidding? They need to know, Chuck" she smiled kindly at him and squeezed his arm.

Of course Blair agreed. They had thrown this party to announce their wedding and their baby, everyone needed to finally know. Blair had tried to hide her belly with dresses and went out less after they had decided to do this party. It wasn't that she has yet to accept her condition, she wanted to do things right.

Magazines that wrote about gossip still thought she was pregnant, but now they talked less about her. Not that she minded, but this was the case she would've liked to be in the spotlight, for the sake of showing their future son more pictures when he would born.

Some old men greeted Chuck and shook hands with Blair while they were walking to the room where the party was held. Blair didn't recognize some of them, but who cared. Chuck had informed her these people were some of the members of the old board of which Bart was part of. It was kind of a reunion for them that night, they had to celebrate the success.

He had said he needed to stay with them for a few minutes, he would see her at their table. She agreed and grinned at him, then kept walking. When she reached the golden doors, Blair spotted a familiar oxygen head. She wondered why the hell the girl was by herself. Not that she needed her boyfriend to stay there and witness, or Chuck. She just wanted to handle the situation perfectly and face her long time frenemy after all she had done to her and to her fiancé few years before.

"All alone, Little J?" she asked to the girl with a neutral tone.

The blonde turned and gave her a little vicious smile. "Nice to see you too, Blair. I see you haven't changed" she commented.

Blair shrugged and placed a hand on her hip "Not much, not at all... I don't know about you, though. I've heard about night camping and wild sex, but I don't know if you're the same girl I banished two years ago."

Jenny raised an eyebrow, quite sure of herself "I've moved on, Blair. I don't know about you, but it seems you quite didn't" she said shrugging her shoulders lightly and walking away.

Blair was left there alone then, and she tightened her fist in response to the anger that was now flooding in her veins. The scene was unnoticed, Blair hoped in a public confrontation, but Jenny deserted the ring. She shook her head when the blonde disappeared into the crowd, she had to do something to prevent further damage. Or that's what her mind suggested her.

She had kept shaking hands and greet people after Jenny left, mostly with old friends, who had commented on her amazing gown. Serena was nowhere in sight, she couldn't talk about this with Chuck, and she wouldn't talk about Jenny with Nate.

She sighed several times while looking through the crowd and not finding anything that could resemble her tall friend. She needed to vent, and she needed to do it soon. When Chuck reached her after few minutes, she was a bit angry. The rage wouldn't diminish, and it wouldn't until she would find her best friend. Maybe it was because of the hormones.

"What's happening, Blair? Are you okay?" he asked, worried, putting a comforting hand on her hip to help her walking.

She soon shrugged that hand off, that made him frown "I don't have time to talk, I need to find Serena. Have you seen her?"

Chuck looked bored when she nodded "I wish I hadn't. She's in the bathroom. With Humphrey." He pointed on the right. Blair cupped her hands on his face and kissed his lips briefly saying a thank you and walked away leaving him there with a blank face. She made him worried, but this was usual for Blair. She just wanted to see her friend after all, so he decided to go and greet the people he had yet to meet, Nate included.

…

After a while, Blair still hadn't found her best friend. She was livid, and hated it. She was hating being pregnant in that moment too, how she wished it wouldn't make her so lunatic, from happy to sad, or angry. The circle kept turning every day, and Chuck still hadn't got used to it completely. She tried to hide her mood shifts pretending everything was fine, she didn't want him to get angry too because of her hormones, but sometimes it was hard. She noticed that he tried not to fume too much if he didn't agree with her, but it made her uncomfortable.

She felt her phone ringing in her clutch and answered without looking at the display "Serena? Is that you? I've been calling you for a long time now. Leave that donut alone."

"Where are you?" asked the person on the other line "Dinner has started. Serena is right here, next to Lily. We're waiting for you." He said with an urgent tone.

"Chuck, give your phone to Serena, now" she prompted avoiding his statement, she didn't care about eating in that moment, she just wanted to talk to Serena. She thought Chuck did it without adding any more comment, because her best friend picked up soon after him.

She felt worried "What's wrong, Blair? I didn't know you were looking for me... I've been quite distracted from my phone" she said a bit embarrassed as Blair could hear noises on the line.

"Jenny Humphrey is here."

"Then what? I'm sure she's not came to ruin your party. Dan assured me Jenny has changed" she explained with a calm tone. "Plus, she's going to give you a nice gift, Nate told me."

Blair's expression changed, she was now confused. "Gift? What gift? She's going to humiliate me for sure, as a payback for what I've done to her life."

Serena sighed loudly "I'm sure that's not the case. Look, I can't tell you what it is, but I must assure you that she's not going to do that. Trust me. Don't do something stupid."

When Serena informed her, Blair couldn't see anymore than humiliation in her mind. It looked like something Jenny Humphrey would do, she would get on stage before the orchestra that was supposed to play some nice music would start their concert. She closed the call without adding more, making up a plan in her mind as soon as she started to wander in the corridors, arriving to reason that the only place Jenny may have been, could be the offset.

And there she found her.

She still had her dark blue dress on, she was with a group of older guys dressed in black suits next to a mirror. She didn't care to call her, she just took her arm and turned her around. Jenny looked quite confused when she saw Blair, but then her expression changed.

"What are you doing here, Blair? You can't stay here" she said, she looked truly concerned and started to rub her hands on her dress.

Blair raised an eyebrow with challenge "I could ask you the same question, Jenny. But I'm going to guess" she said with arrogance, as Jenny moved her hands back as to ask the guys in the black suits to go away. "I know this moment was going to happen, sooner or later."

The younger girl looked skeptical at her, she shook her head in response "What? Blair, I think we had a misunderstanding. I didn't come here to fight with you" she tried to explain, but was cut off soon by a quite nervous Blair.

"Then why are you here, offset? Why did you come? Oh, I'm sure I know why" she started to say as Jenny looked a bit frightened. "Because you wanted to tell everyone you kissed my boyfriend Nate when we were in High School and always wanted him, you've always wanted to be me all along! And when you noticed you didn't become like me, you started to think that there was just one thing left to become Blair Waldorf - "

"Blair" Jenny tried to cut her off shaking her head, she didn't look frightened anymore now, she just looked worried. "Blair, wait - " she repeated, but the girl didn't stop on purpose.

"You had to sleep with Chuck. You've always wanted to have sex with Nate but he didn't want you back then so you chose Chuck to take your virginity, like me! You've always wanted to be me, admit it! And I bet you even want a baby from him, you wanted to get pregnant. I'm sorry to crush your dreams, but I'm pregnant now, and I'm going to marry him!" she almost shouted, as she realized what was happening.

Jenny was watching her with wide eyes as Blair turned left to face the people sitting at their tables who quietly stopped eating to turn to the stage where she was now with Jenny. Their faces where surprised, they couldn't help but kept staring at her in disbelief as she practically humiliated herself in front of everyone. She looked at Jenny but the anger faded. The girl was guilty, she wanted to do no harm to Blair, but she was too blind to believe it.

"I tried to warn you... I'm sorry" she said sincerely.

Blair then realized and her mouth fell, but didn't ask anything. She just thought that she had to save herself from a real scandal, she told everyone about what happened between Chuck and Jenny, and she was sure people were now curious to know better that she should had been smart not to have her pride hurt by her 'supposed to be private' confrontation with Jenny.

She looked at the girl once before she walked to the microphone on the stage. "Hello" she said sheepishly smiling, people stopped talking loudly and focused on her, at least that was a start. "Well you heard the news... I'm pregnant!" she smiled widely and said the words with glee, but no one changed expression, she spotted Chuck's table where the Van der Woodsens and Humphreys were also sit, his brows were furrowed and he looked quite worried "And I hope you enjoyed the show me and Jenny played for you... We wanted to tell you the good news in an unusual way... We had to surprise you!" she finished, and some people laughed.

There was silence for a good minute because she didn't know what to say more, so she started looking at the people sitting at their tables and smiling widely, hoping people would believe her. She was about to say something to justify her speech, when she saw Chuck standing up his chair and starting to clap his hands, his smirk was on place and she smiled happily at him. After Chuck, Lily and Serena stood up too, and did the same. They were soon followed by the rest of the audience, and Blair had to lower her head a bit because of the embarrassment.

Chuck decided to join her on stage, he settled a hand on her hip and took the microphone from her to say something. "Family and friends... We're here today to celebrate Bass Industries, but that's not the only thing. I guess you all started to notice that my fiancée Blair, was expecting. We've waited to tell you because we wanted to keep this joy for ourselves, but it was time to be honest and I guess everybody wanted to know if it was true." He said everything smiling, and Blair noticed most of the people there started to smile too "And it's a boy" he commented, proud, looking at Blair when he said it "and we're going to get married this August."

Everyone clapped their hands then, and Chuck turned to Blair and unexpectedly kissed her. She was caught off guard but she deepened the kiss soon, as his hand went on her baby bump and she put hers on his cheek. They didn't care how vehement it could have looked, or too passionate, that was what that night had been organized for.

…

Two or more hours later, Blair was sitting on the couch of their penthouse, her light blue dress still on. He was massaging her feet and she felt so relieved everything turned right at the end.

"I was about to ruin everything" she said trying not to look at him.

Chuck raised both eyebrows "You didn't. You did an amazing job" he smiled at her. "And I really think they all believed you. Just one - " he started, then regretted it. Blair looked at him questioningly so he sighed and continued "I didn't like you going to Jenny and make a scene."

She bit her lower lip and looked away and answered with nonchalance "I thought she was going to humiliate us" she admitted shyly, her hands on her belly. Chuck stopped massaging her feet, and got closer to her. He took her chin in his hand and held her head so that she couldn't turn from him.

"She just wanted to sing a song for us, Blair. Nothing more. I asked her to" he explained.

"Have you?" she asked, suddenly jealous. "After all she's done to us?" she asked again, her voice barely a whisper. She didn't want to ask him about Jenny again, but somehow, she thought she had to. The girl was back after a long time out of New York, and they had met each other months before, but they've never really talked about it.

Chuck sighed "What happened two years ago... It's past. I spoke to Jenny earlier and she looked changed, a new person. I also spoke to Nate. He told me how she was now lively and happy with him. They do trips together, she's now in a band. She found her way, and so did you. We all moved on" he said as he caressed her cheek.

"I was about to humiliate myself with my own hands" she repeated and looked away from him.

"But you did a great job" he commented proud "Any other woman at your place would have been caught... But you played your part very well" he grinned.

Blair got closer to him and kissed him on the lips. It was intimate, and slow, but also quick. She recoiled back a few inches to whisper something "August, huh?"

He looked away from her and then they locked eyes. "If it's good for you, Miss Waldorf" he kissed her again briefly "We can start preparing everything we need for the wedding of the year. I'm sure you'll be more than happy to occupy your time doing this. You have charte blanche, I really don't mind."

She was about to kiss her fiancé when they heard the bell of the elevator rang.

"Look who's still up!" Nate said with a grin. He wasn't alone. Jenny was on his side holding his hand. "There's still time to meet an old friend?"

Blair looked at Chuck and smiled. She freed herself from his half hug and went to hug him.

"Nate, I'm glad you came. I couldn't find you at the party" she explained.

"That's because I had to leave... Early" he said as he looked at Chuck few paces behind Blair. She saw a weird exchange between them, and she furrowed her brows. "I just wanted to see if you were okay after... After everything. Jenny told me about it."

Blair smiled awkwardly and nodded "Yeah... I am. Not sure about Chuck, though" she lowered her voice, Chuck was now next to the bar. She started to worry about the looks Nate had thrown him, they didn't look like they were at odds, because Nate looked happy that he had got back in town when she had met him that morning. "And you" she finished her sentence.

Nate sighed loudly and shook his head lightly "I don't know either to be honest" he admitted.

"Why don't you go and ask him? You're his best friend. I don't want him to be sad, you know... We've passed a lot while you were away, and he barely said anything to me some days... He needed a friend so bad" she explained patting his shoulder.

Her friend nodded. "I will now. I just hope he won't get me out of the penthouse" he joked.

"He won't! It's my house too after all. Go." She said pushing him in the opposite direction.

After Nate went away, she and Jenny were left alone. Jenny smiled, and so did Blair. "Would it be too weird if we hugged?" she suggested shyly as Blair moved closer.

"Probably, yes. But we can try" she said as she did the first step. Their hug was really quick, but it was enough. They've never been besties, so that hug was a start.

Blair sighed trying to find the strength to say the words. "I thought really bad of you, and you know that" she said sincerely. "But after what happened two years ago, I couldn't trust you or him ever again. But I forgave him, because I loved him. I was so irrational banishing you, making you leave the town where you were born and raised. I've only realized this after a while" she shrugged a bit guilty "but I did. And I haven't seen much of Nate and you together, but I'm sure he really does love you. Probably we will never be best friends like I am with Serena, but we could live peacefully together."

"Wow, that's an awful long speech from Blair Waldorf" she giggled. "I deserved to go away from New York for a while. Can't say the reasons were right, but... I have Nate now. Everything I've wanted is here. And I am the leader of a rock band!"

They both giggled.

"Chuck told me you wanted to sing a song for us."

Jenny smiled and looked down. "I wanted to, but you didn't let me. Chuck suggested me what to sing" she rolled her eyes, a bit annoyed but not really.

"Well, then if you want to, you can sing on the day we marry" she offered, and Jenny was quite surprised by the unusual request.

"I'll think about it, thanks" Jenny said, laughing lightly.

They've never really laughed together and agreed on something, that was really something new. Blair didn't know why she held a grudge against her, Jenny was just an outcast wanting to have a have of their world, not in the best way possible maybe, she just wanted to be accepted, and looked like she finally did.

"What happened between Chuck and Nate?" she asked then, because she saw them discussing from afar.

Jenny shrugged her shoulders "I really have no idea. Nate just mentioned during our trip that Chuck didn't make a call or send a text. At times he was really disappointed, and I tried to distract him... With other things" she admitted.

"Sex?" Blair asked, and Jenny simply nodded and giggled.

The boys patted their shoulders then, and they believed they had made up. They both turned and saw their girls standing there with a puzzled expression. They didn't know what was going on, Blair hoped to find out when Nate and Jenny would leave.

"If I had known by then that thing... I would've come, Chuck. But you handled it well" Nate said sipping his glass of scotch as Chuck did the same.

"But you'll come to our wedding, right?" he asked him, he really looked like he wouldn't accept any other answer than a yes. "I need you to be my best man" he smirked.

"We'll surely come back here before July ends" Nate said, looking at Jenny "when she stops touring with her group" he explained as Blair made a face.

"You're such a groupie, Nate" she shook her head with amusement.

Nate smiled timidly and patted Chuck's shoulder once again. "I'll come for sure. You know, Jenny had this amazing contract, they're touring few States, and I'll go with her. I can't leave her alone" he licked his lips as his watched his girlfriend.

"So kind of you" Chuck commented "I hope you won't forget your best friend though."

"I hope you won't either" he answered, they didn't add anything more but Blair swore she saw a glimpse of comprehension between them, something just best friends had. "But now I'm sorry we need to go. The morning after tomorrow we're leaving again and we need to run few errands" Nate apologized, and Chuck nodded in agreement.

"That's fine" Chuck said, and he and Nate hugged briefly. "Hope to see you soon."

Nate started walking away and hugged Blair too. "Keep an eye on him" he added. Jenny also smiled at Blair but they didn't exchange another hug. One was enough for that day.

When Nate and Jenny disappeared into the elevator, Blair run to Chuck that was still next to the bar, trying to find another bottle of something. "What happened with Nate?" she asked, she couldn't help her curiosity. "You looked angry with him."

Chuck sighed and barely turned to face her, his eyes still on the bottles "I wasn't angry at Nate, Blair. Just disappointed." There was effectively delusion in his tone. "And if you wonder why, I'll tell you with few words. He disappeared."

"From... where?" she looked quite confused.

"He just left, adding that I wouldn't be able to ask you to marry me. He said I wasn't that great friend after all because I suggested him not to go with Jenny at first, I've never thought that he could love her so much. Not that I'm interested in Jenny, let's be clear. I just didn't want my friend to do something stupid" he explained. Blair went behind the bar at that point, but she still didn't touch him. He was still choosing what to drink.

She started being curious "Did he do something bad?" she asked casually.

"He tried to marry her... And then she got pregnant. I offered to pay for her abortion because they didn't want Rufus or Dan to know, and then it just revealed she was late. Nobody knew. I was mad at him because of this, he kept saying I would fail because it was when I started seeing you a bit off, and I got mad and broke a glass. He left then, and never called or texted."

Blair's mouth fell open. She didn't really expect something like this. She felt really bad for never imagining what was Chuck keeping inside of him. She walked closer and put a hand on his back. He didn't shove it away. Yet, he put the glass he had prepared for his drink and turned. "But I made it. And he did too. And now he's gonna be my best man." He smiled.

She hugged him and grinned. She placed her head in the crook of his neck and whispered something before recoiling back. "Are you sure you're okay, Chuck? Are you happy?" she asked, she wasn't aware if there was much more to add to the story.

Chuck smirked and kissed her forehead. "More than happy, actually. I've got to prepare for a wedding in two months, and I'm going to be a Father soon. I couldn't ask more from life. I've never been this happy since you told me you loved me" he confessed as he put his hand gently on her cheek and started rubbing it.

"I love you" she whispered, and sealed the sweet declaration with a quick kiss.

"I love you too" he exchanged sweetly.


	6. Orange

Hello! I'm sorry I'm updating this late but I'm having a hard time with inspiration. I hope to post a chapter at least once a week, every Saturday. I'm also planning another CB fic, so I'm a bit busy. I hope you will like this chapter, I'm already writing the 7th. Xoxo

…

"I told you I wanted roses!" she said to the poor woman in front of her.

Blair had been busy with wedding preparations in those last few weeks. She had hired the best wedding planners of the town, because she wanted the best wedding ever, with the perfect flowers, the perfect place, and of course the perfect dress. Finding a dress for a woman who was six month pregnant wasn't easy, so she asked her Mother to make one for her. She had accepted of course, and flew all way down to New York just to make it.

"But Miss Waldorf, I suggest you to use gardenias. They're perfect for Summer weddings" the same woman kept explaining "It's not the time for roses."

Blair made a face "I don't care what you say. Find roses or you're fired!" she said with annoyance and stomped her feet on the carpet and walked away without leaving the woman any chance to interject her.

She went through the corridor of her house and reached the kitchen to pour herself a glass of water. Dorota wasn't around that day, Blair had given her maid few days off to take care of her daughter and stay with her husband Vanya, the poor woman deserved it. The last few weeks had been exhausting for her. Blair kept spatting with some of the women that were helping her arranging the wedding, and with Chuck too.

He had been silent those last days and he preferred to work locked in his office rather than stay around her when the women were at their house. It helped him to concentrate and her to organize the wedding she desired. But he wasn't having a good time because some old associate of Bass Industries. He had been on the phone a lot, and when he couldn't manage the situation that way, he usually went out and came back late at night because he had late meetings to think about something to do to resolve this issue.

He hadn't really told Blair anything, she was already nervous because of the hormones and excited for their wedding that he thought she deserved to feel happy and not bothered by his business deals. She had to have the perfect wedding no matter what, and despite the fact that he tried not to argue with her, it seemed impossible to avoid sometimes, because he couldn't help but reply a bit roughly whenever she asked how he was. It had been more than a week so far, and she couldn't help but feel worried for their relationship.

"I thought you were out" she said when Chuck got in the kitchen.

He just looked at her with nonchalance and walked to the counter, but didn't answer. He didn't like the air in there, but he decided that he didn't want to make the situation worse by saying something. It was almost dinner time, and he hadn't done anything great that day.

Blair looked away from him when she saw him acting so careless, it hurt her when he didn't look at her or answered her. He opened the fridge to pick up a bottle of what looked like wine, and walked back towards the door to leave the room.

"Chuck" she called him, but he didn't stop, so she decided to follow him to his office.

Before he could close the door, she got in his office. He took place behind the desk, still pretty absent, and then swallowed his glass of wine in one gulp. He licked his lips soon and started going through a stack of papers with numbers.

Blair blinked her eyes swiftly and sighed. She didn't like when he didn't talk. She knew that something was wrong, but she wanted him to tell her.

"Please, talk to me" she pleaded when he still wasn't looking at her.

He kept reading some papers and then wrote down some notes on them before finally saying something. "Can we _please_ talk later? I'm busy."

The sound of his voice left a hole in her belly. She put a hand on her baby bump protectively as to make sure to herself that it was still there. She bit her lip and looked down, unable to answer at first. She didn't know what to say, but she wanted to say something. She needed to do it before he could possibly sent her away. Since he wasn't moving an inch, she dared to say the first thing that came to her mind.

"You're always busy. You don't have time for me, for your Mother, or anybody else."

"It's called work" he answered coldly.

Blair shook her head "Buried 24/7 in your armchair and coming back late at night isn't work. It's called being a workaholic. You look like you don't give a damn about us again!"

Chuck closed his eyes for what she felt like the longest moment of her life, and then he slowly opened them. He still wasn't looking at her, and this hurt her and not a little. "I'm doing this for you too, Blair. And if you don't appreciate my efforts to give us a better life, that's your problem. Why don't you go organizing our wedding? I thought you liked doing it."

She chortled with disappointment "Is that to you? A thing I like doing to pass the time, Chuck? You pass all of your time locked in here doing God knows what, and barely looking at me when you came home lately. You don't want to talk to me, you don't want to have sex. What am I supposed to do? I won't sit here and watch you avoiding me. I want to help you."

She said the words fast, she didn't stop for neither a second to take a breath because she knew he would interrupt her. When she finished, Chuck finally looked up at her. This time she was the one not watching him, her hands were linked together on her belly and her head was spinning because of the force she had put in those words. She didn't regret any of them, she felt relieved when she had finally managed to tell him how she was feeling.

"You can't help me" he said deadly, and the sound of his voice made her cringe. He really did sound lost and helpless that she turned to look at him "I could lose part of Bass Industries."

Blair felt lighter when he confessed her that. She didn't think twice and went to him, she didn't wait more to come and hug him. It felt spontaneous, and she didn't know why she did it but she felt like he needed to feel her love in that moment.

He felt her tiny hands on his back and couldn't help but put his behind her. He still wasn't giving himself completely to her, and he cursed himself because of that. The hardest part was done though. He let her sit on his legs then, slowly letting her in again.

"I didn't know that" she said with a small voice. "Why didn't you tell me?" she raised her head to look at him, but he was looking down. He turned as soon as he felt her eyes on him.

"I didn't want you to worry about me. You needed to be happy. I wanted you to be happy and organize this wedding and distract. I can't wait to marry you" he smiled slightly, his hand brushing her back. "But I need to resolve this first."

She sighed heavily. "What can you do to save that property?"

Chuck passed his other hand through his hair before answering "There's nothing I can do but sell, Blair" he said "To this offerer. This person comes from Australia. Sent by Jack. I'm sure he's doing this just to damage us, you never know. Lily told me that this person is going to do an inspection one of these days, and if we don't pass it, we may lose a part of the company to him" he explained.

"Wait, why do you need to sell? You said that this person may not make you lose that part of your company if you pass their inspection... So I don't think everything is lost after all."

"I don't know who this person is, this is the problem" he shook his head. "It could be anybody. This person could come one day at the Palace or the Empire or at another of my Hotels and pretend to be a tourist, and I would have no idea..." he trailed off.

Blair smiled then "You're so silly, Bass" she admonished him. He made a face, looking confused as he'd never been, but didn't say anything. "You think you've lost this war because you don't know your enemy, but you haven't lost yet."

He looked at her with skeptic eyes, he had no idea of what she was talking about.

"We can still win. We can still defeat this enemy. Whoever this person is, he'll see how great is Chuck Bass and the people who work for him" she continued, her eyes were sparkling like when she had great ideas.

Chuck looked down sheepishly, and shrugged his shoulders. "But, Blair..." he started to say, but she cut him off "No. Don't say anything. Now let's call your P.I. first. He's gonna track this person for sure" she said as she picked the phone from his desk and started dialing the number "then I'll take care of it." He wanted to say something so he opened his mouth, but Blair covered it with her index as soon as Andrew answered.

….

"I told you, Peonies or nothing" Blair told one of her wedding planners three days after. She was walking in the lobby of the Palace Hotel to start her plan. "Okay, but check they are of a strong shade of pink, you got me!" she insisted, then she closed the call.

A smile appeared on her features when she saw Annie, the woman that was usually in the lobby, approaching her.

"Miss Waldorf, it's nice to see you here. Are you looking for Mr Chuck?" she asked politely.

Blair smiled and shook her head childishly "Since you're here I'm going to tell you something beforehand... Don't let your co-workers know, 'kay. Or you're fired" she said bossily avoiding her question, her tone was severe and she wanted the girl to listen to her just because. The girl nodded so she continued "It's going to come someone today, a man that should be around forty. He's like brown hair, green eyes. His name his Charlie... Well, when someone like this comes, call me" she said giving a little white card with her cellphone number.

The girl took the card eagerly, putting it in her pocket as Blair also gave her 500$. "I warn you. You send me the wrong person, you're gonna pay the consequences."

"Will be done, Miss Waldorf" the girl added with a fake smile, then walked away.

Blair put a hand on her hip and felt the strong need to sit on one of the armchairs that were in the lobby. That day her sandals looked enormously painful. Maybe it was the heat, maybe it was that she was becoming bigger as the week passed, maybe it was just the anxiety.

Chuck's P.I., Andrew, had tracked down the person that was going to inspect his properties, the Palace in particular. He had said that he had dark hair and green eyes, looked like a model, and they know he was called Charlie. It was ironic how destiny was playing with them.

She passed a hand on her belly just for the sake of it when she sat down on one of the armchairs. She liked doing it, it made her start feeling like a future mom. She picked up her phone and sent a text to Chuck, he wanted to know how the thing was going. Then she found the new Vogue on the table of the lobby, and started reading it to pass the time.

After a while, she was suddenly interrupted by a voice.

She raised her eyes from the magazine to meet two big and deep blue eyes. The woman that had spoken had not so long dark red hair that grazed her beautiful face. She could say she was wealthy from the way she dressed, she spotted the new Valentino on her legs.

"How many months are you?" she asked with concern, and Blair felt caught off guard. It was probably because that far anybody had really asked that question genuinely. She had been interviewed by magazines that wanted to know about the future Bass heir, but always just for the sake of Gossip, not because they cared. This woman on the other hand looked interested.

Blair closed the magazine soon and brushed her belly with a hand. "I'm almost done with the sixth" she informed the woman. "My Doctor said the baby will be delivered at the beginning of Autumn... If I'm lucky."

The woman smiled. "Why shouldn't you be? You look gorgeous, honey. I bet your baby will be as well... Is it a boy or a girl?"

"Boy" Blair answered sheepishly with a smile. There was an awkward pause, then she asked a question "Do you have any children, Miss?"

She nodded swiftly "One boy and a girl. They are 14 and 16. With my first husband..." she shrugged. "He wasn't a great husband, you know. When my daughter was 5 I caught him going hard on the Russian au pair. Literally. I didn't ask divorce soon because I was in love and I wanted to be with him, but you know, it was necessary after he betrayed again. After I found some very despicable panties in his suit, I couldn't not ask for divorce. And now he has a new wife and he's still screwing sluts behind her back. So sad." She said as she was talking about the most disgusting man on Earth. "Are you married?"

At the question, Blair smirked. This woman was surely not from New York as she didn't know that she wasn't married, but she was engaged to someone who was famous in the city, and that everyone knew because of the magazines too.

"Not yet, but I will soon. Next month, to be exact."

The woman smiled with glee "That's really great. I've got married few months ago... For the second time" she started explaining as a old matron who hadn't enough of talking about herself and her life would do "With a young guy. He is ten years younger than me, but I don't care. We..." she took a brief pause then her voice lowered "had a baby. But then, then that poor baby died in childbirth. I... got depressed, that's why my new husband suggested me to come here. I miss my baby" the woman said as Blair could see tears forming in her eyes.

She didn't think about it twice that she sat down next to her on the velvet couch. She put a hand on her back for comfort, while the woman started crying silently.

"I'm really sorry, I'm really sorry." She apologized. "But the tragedy is still vivid in my mind, and I can't accept the fact that he died" she cried. She kept going on telling Blair the story of her life, then she stopped crying after few minutes.

Blair sighed "Why don't we have a coffee or something? It would help you to be less upset" she said sweetly, the woman nodded in agreement.

"Maybe not coffee, though. It makes people more nervous than they are" the woman said, giggling lightly, then both women stood up to reach the bar of the Palace.

….

Blair hadn't forgotten about the man that should had come to the Hotel. She waited for Annie to deliver her a message, but the woman still hadn't tracked this mysterious person that would do the inspection, so when she proposed the woman she had just met to drink something, it was because she was trying to distract too. Only God knew when this man would've come.

"I've been so rude" the woman started to say after she sipped her orange juice, not Blair's favorite choice because she loved other types of juices, but for one of the few times in her life, she was sipping a drink at the right hour.

Blair looked up from the croissants she had ordered, she was clearly confused.

The woman smiled "We haven't introduced each other. My name is Lilly" she said, then sipped another bit of her juice.

"I'm Blair, Blair Ba-" she was meaning to say her surname too, but then she stopped and she didn't know why. Maybe because she was about to say Bass rather than Waldorf, it was going to go out of her mouth casually, as if she had been married for a while. There was an awkward pause after, and Lilly waiting there for her to say something, when Blair finally concluded "Waldorf. Blair Waldorf" she said trying to be convincing.

Lilly seemed pretty amused by that "You're Eleanor Waldorf's daughter? Oh my God, I love her style so much! Can I meet her?" she asked as if she was a little girl, and made Blair frown.

She looked down and bit her lip "Unfortunately... She's in Paris right now."

The woman shrugged and saddened, but then five minutes later she looked gleeful again. Blair thought she was utterly lunatic for her age. She looked too excited one moment, then the other she looked like the most depressed woman on Earth. She tried to justify her because of the story she had told her a while before, but still, she was starting to have enough of her.

She checked her blackberry and noticed that it was almost lunch time. She had been with the woman, Lilly, for about three hours, and although she was entertaining her because they were having some nice convos, this ought to end. Blair was about to stand up and inform her she had to run some errands when the woman started feeling slightly bad.

"What's wrong?" Blair asked, noticing Lilly had put a hand on her forehead.

The woman sighed "Can you... Can you please take me to my room. 340. I think it's happening again..." she said, her voice was shaking "Panic attacks, panic attacks... I need a Doctor." Blair turned and she saw a waiter watching them not from too far. She made a gesture with her hand and the man approached them. Since Lilly didn't add more, and looked confused and quite sweating cold, Blair ordered the guy to help her taking the woman upstairs.

….

The waiter helped Blair to set the woman carefully on her bed. She saw that she was now sleeping, so she decided she could leave and asked one of the women of that floor to look after her. She was the boss's fiancée after all, she thought this was something to do.

She sighed in relief when she got out of the room and reached the lobby and spotted Chuck. He was telling few things to the guy at the reception when he saw her too. He moved towards her and put a hand on her arm. "I was looking for you" he murmured.

She kept walking to an empty place of the lobby, and informed him about what happened. "I'm sorry, Chuck. Apparently the man we're looking for still hasn't arrived. And I had to take care for hours of a woman who looked so depressed... I felt bad for her."

Chuck frowned and nodded "That's so nice of you, but shouldn't you take care of our business first? I just hope the man hasn't arrived while you were away" he said looking around.

Blair shrugged "I asked Annie to look for me and call me whenever he would arrive, but she never did. You should fire her" she said, utterly annoyed.

He giggled lightly "This isn't enough reason to fire a person, Blair. Luckily the meeting with the Irish company ended early, now I can keep you company while you wait" he smiled and lead her to the couch. "Or you don't want me?" he asked sheepishly.

Before she could add more, the famous Annie came towards them.

"Miss Waldorf, Mrs Lilly wants to see her."

Blair made a face at the words. "Why on Earth? I'm not her nanny for God's sake. Tell her I'm not here anymore" she raised both eyebrows, but Annie bit her lip. "No, don't tell me you said I was still here." She looked at Chuck, he shrugged in response.

"If you don't wanna go, I can check on her. You can stay here."

She thought about it for a second and sighed deeply "Let's go upstairs. Screw this Charlie, let's see what this woman wants. And you'll come with me" she said as she took his hand.

It didn't take long to reach Lilly's room on floor three. The room was slightly open, and Blair wondered why. She looked briefly at Chuck, then they both got in. "Lilly, this is Blair" Blair said once inside. The bed wasn't made but the woman wasn't there. Blair started looking into the other room, and the woman was on the floor, a box of meds spread next to her.

"Oh my God" she screamed "Oh my God, Chuck call someone! A Doctor! She told me she needed to see her Doctor!"

Chuck looked alarmed and he quickly took is phone out to call 911, while Blair tried to reanimate the woman. "Yeah, an ambulance at the Palace. There's a woman who needs help, she may had injected too much pills, she's not breathing. Come here, now!" he ordered.

Blair was still trying to reanimate the woman doing massages, but she wouldn't respond. He was checking his watch every minute to calculate the time that passed, and finally after ten, long minutes, the paramedics arrived there. They went on the floor where Blair was meanwhile shaking and with tears in her eyes. She stood up and reached Chuck, who put a comforting hand on her shoulder and hugged her tightly.

Once a staff nurse touched the woman, it happened something unexpected. She in fact started to laugh, and sat down. Both the paramedics and Chuck and Blair looked at each other in confusion, they didn't know what was going on. "What's happening?" Blair asked when the woman started fixing her hair.

She smirked at them "What happens, Miss Waldorf, is that you've both been played."

"Mrs, it's better if you lie down" a paramedic said helping her out, but she freed herself.

"It's better if I can finally say I've lied to you... I'm not ill. I didn't take any pills" she started to explain as the paramedics started looking skeptical at the woman "I was just playing, to get Mr and Mrs Bass attention."

"So you've called us for nothing?" one man asked and the woman nodded "Let's get out of here and check if someone really needs help then" he answered with annoyance and collected his things. The others did the same and didn't even say goodbye.

Lilly stood up and came closer them. She smirked "You swallowed it, you totally did. Admit it" she said with an amused tone.

"Who are you?" Blair asked as Chuck squeezed her arm. He could feel her getting angry and no one could know what would happen if she got to move a finger on the woman. "Why did you do this? Why did you lie to me? And I've told you who I was" she said.

"I'm Charlie" she finally explained "I came all the way from Australia to inspect this beautiful Hotel and probably took it and give it to Jack Bass, who is a close friend of mine... In affair, that is" she smirked. "He asked me to check on his beloved nephew to see if business down here was going fine, if the Hotel was offering what he had to, and if the staff was nice."

Chuck frowned. It was exactly like he had known, Jack had sent her. He didn't know why Jack sometimes wanted to destroy him, he looked jealous. Because he didn't have all of the properties Chuck had, he didn't have a wife or a woman to come home to when he finished working. He didn't have someone who loved him. So he had to take it from Chuck to make it lonely and lost too.

"And what did you see" Chuck asked, a bit uncomfortable.

The woman rolled her eyes and started going back and forth in the room "What I saw was... Bewildering, this is the best term to describe it."

"What does it mean?" Blair asked, her head tilted on the side.

Charlie -Lilly turned and made a weird face. "It means that I'm bewildered, Blair" she said with a neutral tone. Blair couldn't say if she was angry or not.

"I've been with you my whole day, listened to your made up stories and offered you lunch. I carried you to bed because you weren't feeling well, I made sure someone would've watched over you so that if you needed something you could have had it, and you tell me you're bewildered?" she said without taking a pause. She sighed once she finished.

Lilly started laughing. "Yes. And you want to know why, Miss Waldorf?" she asked, going from informal to formal again "Because so far anybody ever treated me like that when I went to some place. I've checked many Hotels, in many different cities. Many Hotel owners are just away and don't ask their clients anything. They make their employees do everything, while they are barely caring about their business. But you, you Blair, you've been so caring."

Blair freed from Chuck's hug and raised an eyebrow "So you're saying you just wanted to push me to my limits to see if I would fall?" she asked, and Lilly nodded.

"And apparently, you didn't fall. Hence I want to give you some reward, Blair" she coughed "Miss Waldorf. Why don't you run the Hotel?"

Blair's eyes fell on the floor, and she didn't know what to say there. She didn't know what was the right answer to give, if she wanted to do it or not. The Palace was Chuck's or better was his Father's Hotel. He took care of it brilliantly, but he surely didn't have enough time for it, since he also had the Empire and other few buildings to check everyday. And he was working less hours a day to spend time with Blair and do the routines she was going through, of her pregnancy, she thought that maybe...

"What do you say, huh? I'm sure Mr Bass wouldn't mind, the Hotel is his. And you're going to be his wife soon, so technically if you have a prenup and then divorce, this could be yours forever" she said, her face alluring.

Blair was stuck there with thoughts and thoughts, she didn't dare to turn to Chuck to see his expression, she didn't want him to influence her. But she also needed to know what he thought about this... If her saying yes could compromise their relationship, and he could get mad with her, then they could never get married. Becoming the head of the Palace Hotel could be great for her. She got the job not because she was going to be Chuck's wife, but because someone who looked in a higher position than him in the company decided it after she had been nice and acted like a owner – in the mind of the woman, would.

She was grateful when Chuck pulled her off her thoughts and started talking.

"I think you should accept, Blair" he said, his tone sincere and warm. She could feel it although she didn't turn yet. When she did, he was smiling kindly "This may not be the job you were dreaming when you were little, but in my opinion, you shouldn't think about this. When my Father died, I didn't want to take his business in my hands at all. It felt like it wasn't what I wanted to do with my life, it was a young boy becoming a man too early. And I was afraid to take his place. But you, I want you to share everything I own with me. You could be great supervising this Hotel. I trust you. So don't worry about me and say yes If you want to."

She felt lighthearted after he spoke. "Do you really want me to have this, Chuck? But..."

Chuck raised his index to stop her. "Don't. I know this is my Father's Hotel. I also know you will do an amazing job with it. Go ahead" he nodded, grinning widely.

"Then you accept? You will become the boss immediately. But Mr Bass will still be the co-supervisor. This means you could also fire him, but I don't think it's a good idea since it wouldn't be the best way to get married" she laughed along with Chuck and Blair "but you can give him orders and stuff like that. Sometime soon I will check on you again... To see what you've done, if you will still be doing a good job like I think you're going to do."

Blair smiled widely "Yes, yes I accept" she said, then turned towards Chuck. He was still smiling. He took her hand and pushed towards him without thinking, then he kissed her cheek.

….

Later that night, they were both in bed under the covers trying to sleep. Trying because she was in his arms and he hadn't stopped caressing her hair and playing with them. It made her impossible to lose consciousness with him doing that. It was too relaxing that she would fall asleep only if she hadn't been that excited that day.

"Chuck" she said in the dark. He didn't answer, though. He knew what she was going to ask for the third time since they've got back home. She felt so confused about it, as if she didn't believe it yet. She didn't know how he was feeling about it either. If he had done it because... "I don't know if I..." she said, but this time he trailed her off.

"There is nothing you can't make it. I wouldn't have said yes if I didn't know you could do this. I am sure you can do this. I've never been surer." She moved a little in his arms, and raised her head. She didn't need any other comforting but his. And he of course gave it to her. She didn't understand why she was being so afraid of taking over the Palace. "I will help you if you ever need me" he continued. "But I'm sure you won't." He said, grinning.

Blair closed her eyes and kissed him briefly on the lips. She put her head back in the crook of his neck as his hands tightened around her tiny figure so perfectly. She kept her eyes closed once she found a comfortable position, and slowly started to fall asleep. Chuck's hands started to loosen as the minutes passed, and it was when she felt a cool breath on her forehead that she acknowledged that he had fallen asleep.

She thought she fell asleep too at some point. The air conditioners were turned on because of the heat, and she felt the soft air grazing her bare arms and legs soon. It was so calm and relaxing. After a long day on mid-high heels, that looked like the best way to go to bed.

What she didn't expect, was to actually feel a weird sensation in her stomach.

She opened her eyes swiftly as if she had never gone to bed, and then looked at Chuck. He was asleep like a baby, his mouth open as he barely snored in his sleep. She tried not to wake him and got off the bed, headed to the bathroom. She thought that maybe the things they had eaten at dinner made her stomach hurt, so she tried to find a remedy. She didn't want to pass a night with no sleep because of that.

She turned the light on in the bathroom, and peed before she carefully washed her hands and looked through the cabinet where the meds where put. She quickly found something to swallow, but before she could take it, she felt that weird sensation again.

She didn't want to wake Chuck, so she tried to do everything in silence, but at another little pain made her cling on the door frame not to fall on her butt. She made an awful noise when she pushed something that was near the entrance of the bathroom on the floor, and she woke her fiancé. He sat up as if awakened by a thunderstorm or something, and his eyes were open but he looked confused. He wanted to know what was happening.

Then she understood.

"What you are doing awake?" he asked when he saw her trying to fix the blades of her slip on the shoulders. "Do you crave something?"

Blair shook her head, and he was relieved. Go and find what she wanted was really hard, and she wasn't easy with her cravings. Chuck had to go out to find some not so seasonally fruits or ice creams or cakes, during the latest six months. She smiled widely and put a hand on her belly, then started to jump. "I'm so happy!" she exclaimed reaching the bed again and almost jumping on it before remembering she was pregnant and she had to be careful.

Chuck frowned when she crossed her legs on the bed, and he put a hand on her shoulder.

"Then I want to be happy too, if you let me" he said sweetly.

She turned to him and smiled again. "The baby kicked! The baby gave a lot of kicks, actually" she said gleefully touching her belly again.

He smiled "That's why you couldn't sleep?" he asked, and she nodded. She suddenly looked like shrugging once the baby kicked again. She wasn't used to this. She didn't know when but was aware that her baby would start giving her small kicks sooner or later.

Chuck moved closer and put his head on her baby bump. She heard what she meant when the belly moved under his scalp and made him jump. Blair laughed tenderly at the vision. He raised his head and smirked after it "I guess the baby wants you all for himself" he said.

She rolled her eyes amused and shrugged. "He'll get used to the fact that I need his Father too... I could not live without him."

He put his ear again on the spot, and she heard a 'Ugh' once the baby kicked where he was.

They passed most of the night listening to the kicks the baby gave and watching TV in their bed. They were airing a special Audrey Hepburn marathon, and of course Blair wouldn't want to miss it. "When the baby will be born, I want him to know every single Audrey movie," Blair murmured out of the blue when few minutes of Breakfast at Tiffany's were left to watch.

Chuck raised an eyebrow and sighed "I don't believe a boy would appreciate that kind of movies. He is a man. He has a virility to maintain" he said with a firm tone.

Blair pursed her lips and rolled her eyes "He'll get used to it, someday" she answered him a bit bitterly "because Audrey's movies are practically the only thing that manages to calm my nerves when I'm angry."

He turned his head then, and raised both eyebrows as to ask her a silent question.

"Besides _that_" she corrected herself. "That will always be the best way despite the fact that my future husband doesn't love Audrey as deeply as I do." She said and licked her lips looking in his direction.

He smirked and then reached out to kiss her sweetly. His hand went on her back and he managed to set her on the covers carefully. He started deepening the kiss when his hand had to pass from under her back to her leg. He started to caress slowly and even more slowly until his kiss became wilder and his tastes of her mouth were inevitably vital.

Blair on her account soon put her leg on his back, trying to let him get closer to her without pressing his body too much on her belly. She grabbed his hair and passed her hand through them, enjoying the softness and their vanilla scent.

His hand wandered blindly in the hollow part of the curves under her stomach. He easily lowered her silk panties and put his hand in that dark but well known place he liked of her. His kiss slowed down once one of his fingers got into the deepest of her. His mouth moved a bit away from hers once he started to concentrate and moved kindly into her. From her mouth escaped a little moan. He could tell she liked when he excited her with other parts of his body other than the obvious. He looked at her while he was moving into her, and he noticed her relaxed and almost dreamy expression. He smiled at himself because she was looking above her the most or she was keeping her eyes closed, and then tenderly moved his finger out.

Blair rolled her eyes back, but she knew it wasn't over. He raised her slip over her belly and kissed her there. This time she was looking and him, and she grinned. When she saw him giving other small kisses going down towards her intimacy again, she understood what he wanted to do. His mouth arrived to her inner thigh. He gave her a quick kiss then he started to work his tongue on her small lips. He could feel her legs tense around there and her hands promptly grabbed the covers to give vent to her sexual satisfaction. A small moan exited her mouth again, but then he felt a hand grabbing his hair and pushing him away. "What the...?" he asked, suddenly pushed on his side of the bed.

She put a hand on her mouth, looking at the TV "I need to watch the last scene, shut up."

Chuck made a face "You know this movie by memory" he complained.

She shrugged "I know, but I want to tell our baby that I used to watch Audrey's movies while I was expecting him, and I can't lie that his Father was also making me scream meanwhile."

He sighed and then grabbed her again ignoring her comment to continue what he started.

"Lies exist for a reason."


	7. Grey

Hello all! Had a hard time writing this chapter because I'm having a busy life at the moment and I couldn't think of an ending for this chapter before yesterday night. I really hope you'll like it and I'm planning to start the next in the next few hours, hoping it'll be ready for next week. Have an awesome day, xo

….

48_ hours before. _

Blair fidgeted in her wide bed until she found someone to hold on to. It was a hot body, and she knew it was because of the heat, but also because she was getting closer. She felt the person moving too, and a foot hitting her leg kindly while she was working her hands on the arm of the person sleeping beside her. She stroked it, feeling something out of place. She didn't care and in her half sleep state she moved her hand on the chest. Again, she felt something was wrong, and when she actually squeezed a boob she woke up. She almost jumped on her own bed and recognized her best friend Serena looking at her with sleepy eyes.

"Were you dreaming I was Chuck again?" the blonde asked, and Blair looked shyly at her hands. "You squeezed my boob. Hard."

Blair bit her lip "I'm sorry, Serena. I don't think I offended you any way."

"You should had probably kept sleeping with him during these last two weeks." Serena said looking at her in disapproval.

"We're getting married the day after tomorrow. You know it's bad luck if the groom sees the dress of the bride before they get married?"

The blonde grumbled "Do you really believe in that stuff?" she shook her head "as if Chuck still doesn't know what dress you will wear. I saw him talking to your Mother the other day, and he looked like she was telling him about it" she said with nonchalance.

Blair turned abruptly and felt her head dizzy for the fast movement when her best friend finished her sentence. "Please tell me that's just a joke. My Mother is dead if she let him see my wedding dress! It must be a surprise!" she fumed.

Serena shrugged and rolled her eyes. "I was just saying, B. Why don't you call her?"

"I have an appointment now" she said, annoyed and looking in another time and space. "And I need a phone!" she exclaimed after she jumped off the bed leaving her best friend dumbfounded. She disappeared in the bathroom and Serena felt the water running few minutes later before drifting off to sleep again.

….

The fact with Blair was that probably she believed in traditions too much.

She had politely asked her fiancé to sleep alone for a month. She would sleep at her Mother's house, and he would keep sleeping at theirs. Blair had asked him to sleep at Lily's, but Chuck opposed to the idea. He had his office there and moving out of that for a month wasn't the best choice in his opinion. Blair hadn't been pleased by his response, but the fact that he had stayed at their house at least was something.

The future husband couldn't see the future wife before the wedding. Yes, this was an old tradition, but as Chuck and also Serena reminded her everyday, it only counted for the day of the wedding, and the day before. But Blair wanted to do her own tradition, she not only asked her future husband to stay in their penthouse alone, she also asked him not to visit or see her.

"What's on your mind, Blair? Do you really want us to organize our wedding separately? We're not in the Medieval Era anymore." Chuck had complained.

"Don't you understand? Being far from each other before our wedding will only make us grow the will inside of us of getting married. The more we'll miss each other, the more we'll want to see each other the day we'll get married" she said smiling at herself.

Chuck had frowned "Do you really think we're gonna make it?" he had asked, and Blair had simply nodded. "One month without seeing each other? Without sleeping together, eating together... And all." He said, and Blair kept smiling and nodding. "Choose the flowers for the church? The things we'll eat at the wedding party?"

"You gave me charte blanche, Bass. Don't take it back."

He had rolled his eyes. "Will you survive?"

Blair had made a face "It will only be one month as if I were a single woman, Chuck. We spent more months without seeing each other or having sex in the past. I can do it." Chuck had been hard to convince, but in the end he had given up, and Blair had been proud.

The only thing she didn't really pay much attention was herself.

She had assured Chuck she wouldn't miss him and everything they did together. Of course not entirely. She would have missed him, but tried to distract with other things and with Serena and her Mom so that she wouldn't think about him. They could still call each other after all.

One night after fifteen days apart, Blair had called him. She hadn't called him for at least twelve hours that day, she knew that he had a meeting and didn't want to disturb.

"One month is too much" he whispered on the phone.

Blair bit her lip and tried to be convincing. "I'll postpone the wedding if you don't agree" she teased, trying to appear nonchalant to hear his reaction.

She felt a sigh on the other end. "You're such a liar, Waldorf. The bed is so empty without you."

"Don't try to bribe me and break this deal, Chuck."

"Don't try to say you're not missing me."

Blair passed a hand through her hair before answering. "I'm not missing you!" she would exclaim, then the conversation would go on for more than a hour. They would argue about her not truly admitting that she was trying so hard not to miss her future husband. Serena and her Mother were really trying to occupy her time helping her preparing the wedding without Chuck, but Blair couldn't help and bit her lip every time she thought about her choice.

….

Another time Chuck had been clearer. It had been twenty-six days after they made the deal, and both still couldn't believe they had spent so much days without seeing each other.

"If you say you don't miss me, then let's hung up and I'll talk to you in twelve hours."

"Twelve, Chuck?"

His tone was of surprise "Too little, too much? I'm aware you're not missing me at all, don't you worry. Be explicit and tell me. Don't think I can't stay without talking to you for more than twelve hours... Or more."

Blair rolled her eyes "You're the one who calls the most. You called me four times in five hours, Bass. Don't you think that's an awful lot for you?"

"Then I won't call. At all. For these last 3 days before _the_ day."

"Three days?" she asked with worry. Twelve hours were something, but three days...

"You'll miss me, I'm sure" he spat back, then he hang up before she could say a 'no'.

….

He kept his promise that time, and Blair had been too hormonal that week. Her Mother was making her wedding dress, and since she was pregnant she had to fix every day to her new belly size. Then she asked for some flowers, but they didn't bring home the right ones. It looked like small details for someone, but for a woman like Blair Waldorf even a wrong bow would be the cause of a war. She couldn't make it the second day and so she called him.

It was two days before the wedding.

"I know you would call before day three" he answered with a calm tone.

She sighed before finding the right answer. "I needed to vent and Serena and my Mother were unavailable."

"Nice to know I am your last resort, then" he said playfully.

"Bass-tard."

"You know you love me" he tried to imitate Gossip Girl's signature. She started laughing for the first time after days and he didn't miss it. The silence was starting to get awkward because they couldn't see each other but knew the other was there, probably in the same position. In fact Chuck was on their bed alone watching the city on his side, while Blair was in the center of her bedroom bed looking at the ceiling. "I miss you" his voice was barely a whisper.

"I love you" she just answered, and it was enough. "And I miss you" she added after another long silence.

Chuck smiled on the other end, but didn't joke about it. "I know" he said, and it was enough.

"Is Serena there?" he asked all of a sudden.

She didn't have to wonder why he had asked that. They had done it other times in the past, out of boredom. That far, no one of their best friends caught them, but they were sure both Nate and Serena knew about their sexy games on the phone.

Blair got off her bed and went to the bathroom. She sat on the bathtub and sighed audibly before putting her hand slowly on her leg to lift her dress up a little. He knew on the other hand that she was finding the perfect position for that.

"We really need to hurry up, Mon Rodolphe. My husband Charles is going to be here soon" she whispered in a silly voice after putting her phone on the bathroom counter with the speaker phone on.

"Is he? Oh, I thought we would have more time. Is the table clean?"

Blair laughed. "No. Do you want to help me clean it?"

"I would be glad to help, Madame."

She then sighed. Her sigh was deep and sensual, and she was trying to pretend he was there with her. She started caressing her belly imagining it was him doing it. "Touch my stomach, Monsieur. Stroke it, hard" she intimated with a kitty voice "Don't stop."

On the other end, Chuck closed his eyes on the bed and kept himself silent while Blair kept faking moans. "Do you mind if check it from another view, Madame Emma? It will help me give you a better massage" he murmured as she was touching herself everywhere. He couldn't help it but reaching his pants and barely lower the zip down.

"Oh, yes Monsieur. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes" she moaned against the phone while her tiny hand was wandering on her inner thigh. "We need to hurry, Rodolphe! Charles is going to be here soon!"

"I don't want him to find me here, Madame. This is so wrong" he answered trying to appear afraid as he hurried the hand he had in his pants.

"Deeper Monsieur, deeper" Blair almost screamed on the other end "Deeper and faster! I don't want my husband to find us here..." she exhaled deeply and touched one of her breasts furiously.

"Anything you need, Emma" he agreed on the other end.

He kept moving his hand here and there and Blair did quite the same. At some point, though, she stopped. He could only hear her breath from the other side.

"Blair?" he asked, switching role play with reality again.

"I thought you were with someone... Someone you promised you wouldn't see for a month."

"Me? There's no one here, S. Check wherever you want" Blair smiled.

Serena made a face. She wasn't convinced and Blair blamed her voice for that. She had to keep her voice low.

"Then why were you moaning? It looked like an orgasm from the dining room, your Mom asked me to check on you. She believed you might had a problem with the baby" she explained.

Blair lowered her head trying to appear natural "I was just having a bath" she said, but her friend rolled her eyes soon.

"Wow, that must have been the shortest bath in the history of baths since there aren't any bubbles... And you're perfectly dressed." Blair smiled awkwardly and the girls exchanged glances until the blonde asked "Are you missing Chuck?"

Blair didn't answer, so Serena tried. "You don't have to be shy, Blair. I know you do. It's normal if you... You haven't seen him for almost a month... You miss him that way too."

"How do you know?" Chuck then interjected on the speaker phone.

Serena frowned "Chuck?" she asked, then covered her face with both hands for a second. "Oh my God. I can't believe you've gone that far. You were... No, no, no, no. Please, pretend I was never here. I wish I wasn't this worried about you that I came."

"I would pretend you were here with her, sis. I'm glad you came." Chuck teased.

The blonde shook her head "Chuck! Okay, now I'm going to pretend I've never had this conversation. Next time don't decide to stay away from your boyfriend for too much time, B. I believe you need to re-think about it" she shrugged then opened the door to go out.

Blair sighed when her friend went out. "Buzz kill."

"I agree with Serena" he said.

"What?" she asked, not quite following what exactly.

He cleared his throat "You shouldn't have asked me to stay away from each other for a month. It isn't right. I know that you believe in certain things and I don't want to say anything about that, but don't you think you're being too masochist?"

Blair bit her lip and answered the first thing that came on her mind. "Yes" she said, then regretted it as soon as it left her mouth. "I mean, I thought that it would've helped me to make this wedding perfect. I wanted it to be the best of the year, but my mind was saying that if you were there, you would've distracted me and so my perfect plans would've been in vain."

He laughed "Just for this, Blair? You could have asked me not to be around. I would've worked at my real office instead of working home."

She blushed a bit and thanked God he wasn't there to witness it. "Can we meet now?" she asked forgetting the deal they had made. She sounded so shy to him, and sweet.

"Are you sure? I'd understand if you want us to try and not screw this deal we made."

She snorted "I was right saying you were a buzz kill."

"I'll offer you something you can't say no to" he started, ignoring her affirmation. "I made an appointment with my lawyer, tomorrow at eleven."

"I totally forgot about the prenup" she said in annoyance.

"We could meet there to start with."

Blair snorted again. "I can't believe you are rejecting me, Chuck Bass."

Chuck smirked on the other end "Is someone at home with you besides Serena?" he asked.

"Why don't you call your lawyer and tell him to come in one hour to our house, Chuck" she said, her tone quite appealing as if she wanted him to say yes.

"I'm getting the Dom Perignon" he just answered, then closed the call.

….

One hour and half later, Blair was with Chuck in his office at their house, both behind his desk were sitting on comfortable chairs and were listening to what Chuck's layer was telling them about the prenup. Blair looked distracted, she kept smiling the whole time while Chuck on the other hand managed to keep himself serious. When she had come to the house, he was sitting on the couch not far from the elevator, he was waiting for her of course. Blair hurried when she saw him, and he stood up. Before they could even kiss each other, the bell of the elevator rang, and Blair rolled her eyes at the perfect timing the layer had had, hoping he would do this thing fast and go, so that they could pass some time together.

"Miss Waldorf, you are the new head of the Palace, I see. Mr Bass informed me few weeks ago, and I suggested him to still keep the building for himself if..." the lawyer started.

Blair made a face "Yes I do take care of the Hotel, but I don't want it. The only things that I would want if we happen to... Err" she didn't want to say the word "I just want him to get away from me, that's all. I am wealthy myself, and I don't need more money. And we are not going to get a -"

Chuck interjected. "What do you think she could take from me if we happen to divorce?"

The lawyer shrugged "Well anything that will be in this contract. Since she has the Palace now, there's likely the possibility that it will be given to her in the case that you decide to end this marriage. Only if we state it right now, of course."

Chuck and Blair exchanged a glance.

"Can we just sign it, please?" Blair asked, with a hurried tone.

The lawyer frowned and shrugged "If you're done with it, sure. You can always add things... Later" he said as he passed them the papers and a black pen.

Both assured they would call him if they needed to add more to the prenup, then the layer left. They let him go towards the elevator alone and waited until they heard the resounding noise of the elevator's bell. It took that for them to throw themselves on each other and start kissing, the vehemence was at his best, and their hands didn't know where to wander first. It was as if their bodies were slowly being explored again. Not that his or her hands didn't remember exactly the spots of the body of their lover, it was just exciting to find those spots again, the same spots where their fingers lingered for different amount of time the weeks before.

They hadn't met for over twenty-five days, and their mouths were angry with lust.

He tried to be careful and placed his hand on her back to help her getting closer as her tiny hands worked on his belt. She was fast, and he smiled on her lips when she finally managed to open his trousers, it always got him how Blair was born to be good at sex.

She pushed him on the desk and he barely sit on it, then as a woman who wanted to be quick would do, she let him get in her, their mouth still touching and their hands still caressing each other's backs.

She moaned when he trusted into her the second time. He had been harder than few seconds before, and it caused her both pleasure and a bit of normal pain. He squeezed her ass cheeks calmly as he moved into her, and Blair couldn't help but pass a hand through his hair one time, and cling onto them the next, as if she was about to fall apart and she could only hold on him.

As Chuck got in a third time, they heard the annoying elevator's bell. They thought it was one of their phones, so they kept kissing hard... Blair's legs were on fire.

"Chuck" they heard a voice but kept going on hard "Man? Are you here?"

The resounding voice calling woke Chuck up. He recoiled back a bit and looked at Blair with his mouth wide open, as hers was swelling. "What...?" she could only ask, then they both heard the noise of the door barely closed of Chuck's office opening.

Blair suddenly got rid of his hair and moved behind Chuck to fix her panties, then decided to hide behind the desk and wait for the guy to go, because he didn't know she was there, all while Nate waved his best friend good evening.

"Nathaniel, you are here" Chuck said with a half smile, he had his trousers still left open on the top, and his belt was undone "Thought you were going to come tomorrow."

Nate frowned, and as Chuck acknowledged his pants were still open and if he came closer he could see that his boxers where a bit opened, he started to adjust them. This brought Nate's attention right there, on the pelvis area. He cracked a laugh and Chuck managed a larger smile to try and defend himself from the obvious.

"Actually, err, nope. Were you busy, man?"

Chuck finished fixing his shirt in his pants and fastened his belt. "Me? Busy? No way" he asked with sarcasm, an evil laugh escaped his mouth "My lawyer just left and I was reading the prenup once again" he explained.

"Prenup, huh?" Nate started looking around the room "I bet Blair was here too, then."

"She was, actually, but she had to get back to her house before dinner to finish her daily routines" he said approaching his best friend and putting a hand on his shoulder. "I'm sorry she won't be here today," he added.

Nate made a face. "Her house? But... I'm coming from there and Serena didn't know where she run to, so she sent me here."

"She did? How smart is my step-sis" he rolled his eyes "Why Blair should be here, perhaps?"

Nate stopped walking once they got in the foyer. "C'mon. She's your future wife, and Serena told me about the deal you made, how Blair was missing you that she was about to get crazy that she slept closer to her as she'd never been last night."

Chuck raised an eyebrow, certainly pleased "I think you may need to check Saks or Barneys, Archibald. I've heard she wanted to buy something for the honeymoon there" he tried to persuade him, but Nate kept looking around. They reached the elevator's doors and Nate looked a bit confused, but still trying not to forget why he was there.

"You say? Have no time for that, mate. I've come this morning from Texas, and I just need sleep before we, huh, your bachelor party."

He frowned, curious about the other news, as if he didn't expect his best friend would throw him a bachelor party. "Bachelor party?" he asked, trying to look surprised. "Wow, can't say I'm amazed, but" he smirked.

"I'll get you drunk, man. I miss our bromance. I'll pass later around eleven. Wear casual clothes!" he exclaimed, then smiled ad walked to the elevator. Chuck was left alone and started to reason about the 'bachelor party' news, when hurricane Blair reached him in the foyer.

"Serena is dead" she shook her head in disapproval as Chuck slightly nodded. "And... A bachelor party, huh?" she asked, bringing Chuck out of his thoughts.

"Is there something wrong with it?"

Blair gave him a wide-teeth smile and walked towards the elevator's doors "Nope, nothing is wrong with it. Everyone deserves a bachelor party before their wedding" she said, then she opened her bag looking for her phone.

He frowned, not sure she was okay with the idea.

He knew that his best friend was used to throw bachelor parties. He threw his cousin Tripp one before he got married few years before, and even magazines talked about it because there had been a scandal with his Grandfather and few strippers he had called to give Tripp a show before he would be no longer a single man. Of course there would be strippers at Chuck's party too, it was typical of bachelor's parties, and above all of UES parties.

Blair got in the elevator without giving him a quick peck or a kiss. "You're already going?"

"I realized I shouldn't had been here in the first place" she shrugged her shoulders, then the elevator's doors closed between them.

He was sure he had seen something in her eyes before the door closed, but he didn't want to argue with Blair about her jealousy again, or whatever that look was. He liked if she was jealous, but it was just a bachelor party after all, nothing bad would happen, and he wouldn't let anything happen, they would just party and get drunk...

….

Chuck tried his best to get ready for his bachelor party. Around ten-thirty, his dark pants and white shirt made him look like a waiter probably, but he didn't care. He dared not to wear a tie because is not that this thing would be too formal anyway. He thought where they would go. Nate had good taste but he hoped he hadn't chosen some lousy Queens pub he started to go to when Jenny had formed her rock band.

He sat on the couch not far from the foyer after he wore his after shave and eau de toilette, and waited for his friend to come. He could seriously cannot wait. He checked his phone five minutes after eleven to see if there had been calls or texts from Nate or from Blair, but there had been nothing. He wondered if his girlfriend had really been jealous like he suspected and this was her demonstration of it. It was weird she hadn't sent a text for hours or either called him for less than a minute.

The ring of the bell pulled him from his reverie and Nate with a red plaid shirt on, got into the penthouse. "We're all waiting for you, man" he greeted Chuck with a pat on his shoulder.

"And I am curious to find out where you'll take me?" Chuck asked sarcastically.

Nate laughed as they got into the elevator "You're gonna like it, I'm sure of it" he nodded.

Chuck nodded in agreement, deciding to trust his best friend.

Fifteen minutes later, the both of them were at Victrola. Chuck surprised for a second, but then realized that was the perfect place to throw a bachelor party, and that club surely was one of his favorite buildings.

He smirked at Nate and he looked pleased, so they avoided the queue and got in. There was a private area on the left that Chuck created the year before. It really didn't have the real purpose though. Instead of being a private area for people who were willing to book it and pay a bit more or for New York elites, he had created that private area just for him and Blair and their friends. Whenever they felt to, they went there not to mix up with the crowd. There was better lighting, they could serve themselves drinks and have some private PDA. It could contain twenty people max. It wasn't a big room, but it was decent.

Chuck spotted Dan Humphrey when they got in. He looked a bit awkward as the smile he gave him when he turned in his direction. Other than him there was Eric Van der Woodsen. He had started talking to Chuck again the year before when things in Jenny's life started to fix. Nate had been really helpful with this, they were at odds and they shouldn't had really been. Eric was Chuck's step-brother after all.

"You're finally here" he said when he approached them and Chuck ordered a scotch.

He smiled "This feels like the day I took over Bass Industries all over again" he joked.

"I can't believe you are embarrassed, Chuck" Dan interrupted jokingly.

"There is always a first time Humphrey" he smirked "And I saw you flirting with that waitress who brought you Tequila. Don't break my sister's heart, I warn you" he winked at him.

They were soon joined by few other guys in their thirties who worked for Chuck and they all started a conversation about weddings and how one of them managed to got drunk before saying 'I do'. It looked like a girl's meeting after High School at some point, so to heat things up Nate decided to play a game.

"I never, Nate? Haven't played that since High School. It helped me to try various types of alcohol in my Father's secret library" Chuck said looking up and remembering.

Nate nodded "I was there too, man! Remember how many times we got drunk..." he laughed and gave him an entire bottle of scotch. "Since you are the guest of honor, you start. Remember you drink if you have done the thing" he reminded everyone.

"I never kissed a boy" Chuck said, looking around to see who would drink. Nate sipped, and also two of his co-workers. Eric of course did too. "Well this was hard, but" he added, then he drunk a bit of his bottle as Dan shook his head. "Your turn, Humphrey."

Dan thought about the thing he wanted to say for a second then started to talk "I never had sex before I turned 16."

Chuck drank a lot of liquid and most people did too. "Twelve" he added, raising his eyebrow.

"I never had sex with Georgina Sparks" Nate said, and he didn't drink while only Chuck and Dan did. He looked at Chuck and his friend was frowning. "What?"

"You're so subtle, Nathaniel" he commented.

"W-what so you had sex with Georgina?" Dan asked, completely in the dark about this.

Chuck smirked "Actually she was the one to start my long womanizing career."

"Thank you, I didn't want to know" Dan shook his head, disappointed, while Chuck was still smirking. He couldn't help but laugh at that detail of his teen life.

Once they all stopped joking about Nate's fear of bees, the blond asked everyone to sit on the leather couches and wait for a surprise. Suddenly the music changed in the room, and the lights dimmed, and they were left almost in the dark. They then saw a light where the door was, and then someone with a candle entered the room.

They could tell it was a woman, she had a mask who covered her face and her hair seemed dark brown. They couldn't see what she was wearing, but tried. She looked dressed like an Indian dancer, but her skin looked so pale next to the light... Once she got closer to Chuck that was sitting in the center of a couch, she took his hand and started to dance next to him with the candle in her other hand.

Chuck started feeling the heat because the woman looked like she knew how to move, Nate had surely called a pro to give him the best show, but the sweating was also because he tried too hard not to be carried away and do stupid things that would regret.

The dancer kept moving next to him, her tiny ass brushing his legs first, then slightly his crotch. He felt a great energy coming from there but gladly he managed not to show it, there still wasn't evidence that the thing had turned him a bit on. The woman used her free hand to caress his hair. She moved her hand carefully and he started to relax.

He started to inhale her scent deeply, he didn't know but it reminded him of Blair. Well, Blair wore Chanel N5 and it was pretty popular, maybe that explained why this woman also had it on. Although he justified the fragrance, also the way she was massaging his head reminded him of her. What if this woman had stalked him? That would be creepy, he thought. Plus, she didn't have a baby bump like Blair, or at least it was too dark to see.

He sighed when her hand fell on his neck and she started massaging there. Somehow also her thumb reminded him of Blair, that had stocky fingers.

His mouth escaped a moan and he whispered her name "Blair" without thinking about it. He didn't know why but he thought he saw a smile from behind the veil, she raised it a bit and blew out the candle. They were almost in the dark now, the music still on, and the girl still dancing. Chuck didn't care what she would say, he had to know he wasn't daydreaming his future wife was giving him a little show at his own bachelor party, so he tried put a hand on her belly to see if it was flat and felt one of her hands pushing the hand away, while the other that was still on his neck pushed him towards her, and their lips crushed hard.

The music was lowered down few seconds later, Chuck and the girl still kissing. The others couldn't really see well because of the lights. The girl abruptly recoiled back and broke the kiss once the music faded, then run literally away. The lights were turned on few seconds later and everyone watched Chuck with envy.

"That girl looked hot" one of Chuck's co-workers said. "Good choice, Nate."

Chuck kept looking at the door and slowly realizing what he had done. She wouldn't let him touch her belly, and he had deepened the kiss. He felt so bad for it, although he still thought it was Blair. He would ask her a confirmation, but it wouldn't be safe. She could say it wasn't her and that he betrayed her with another woman two days before their wedding, so they would break up and he would be single again, thing he now feared.

He had to hide this little detail of the bachelor party, he thought. He couldn't let Blair know or anybody else for that matter. He thanked the lights were dimmed when he kissed the dancer or otherwise he would be in trouble, serious trouble.

He tried to stay cool and don't look anxious for the rest of the night. They had done weird things together, and it made him have a great time. His only concern now was to go home and sleep and eventually try to forget about the mistake of this night.

When he got home he kicked off his shoes and went up to his bedroom. His blackberry rang at around 3.45am and he wondered who could be at that time if not her. He thought it was a call but instead it was a text.

_Hope you had fun at your 'bachelor party' and didn't betray me with a poor strip dancer. -B_

"The irony" he said to himself, inside he felt really upset. This made him want to have a cold shower to shrug everything that had happened that night off. Blair would never know about the kiss with the dancer. Ever.

_I made a promise to you and you know I'm trying my best not to break it. -C_

He answered after the shower, rolling his eyes at the simple statement that he thought but that he had eventually broke with a stupid kiss to someone he thought was his fiancée.

_If I find out something from Nate, I swear I'm gonna cut you. -B_

The answer made him smile, but no. Nate couldn't really see the kiss, but somehow after the first moment of anxiety he had, Chuck really thought that probably B knew something. He wondered if she found the dancer or stalked outside the Victrola. That sounded so Blairish and made him think that maybe... Maybe he wasn't so wrong thinking the dancer was her.

He didn't answer her text.

….

The characters C&B were roleplaying where Emma and one of her lovers Rodolphe

from Madame Bovary by G. Flaubert :)


	8. Anthracite

24 _hours before_.

The day before their wedding, Chuck had lost track and time.

It wasn't the first time he had been out and came back home late, but he had always been able to wake up the following morning as if he had been sleeping the right amount of hours. For some reason that day, he stayed in bed till someone woke him up around lunch time.

"Chuck" the voice called from afar, barely waking him. When she reached him, he passed a hand through his hair and looked at his step sister with confusion.

"Why here so early" he managed to ask.

Serena frowned and looked at him with disapproval. "Early? It's two o' clock, Chuck. You missed our family lunch" she reminded him.

Chuck put a hand on his face and rubbed his left eye. "That's true, I'm sorry. I overslept."

She nodded "I see it. You were too busy worrying about the kiss you gave that dancer last night that you fell asleep" she told him with a motherly accusing tone.

"How do you know?" he just asked, and it was enough.

"Dan told me. He saw you yesterday at your bachelor's party" she raised an eyebrow.

He removed the sheets from his legs and adjusted on the bed, trying to find a justification that didn't come. He knew he couldn't escape Serena's questioned looks, she would try anything to push him to tell Blair now, whatever it took. He knew that this was the right thing to do, but still he thought it may hurt less if he didn't.

He rolled his eyes, but didn't answer.

"So? You have to tell her. You need to tell her. You can't start your marriage with secrets" Serena said stepping closer to the bed. "You're going to come with me."

He raised his head "Where to? I've got stuff to do if you forgot I'm getting married tomorrow" he tried to explain without success. He poorly wanted to justify himself.

Serena rolled her eyes and put a hand on her hip "There will be no wedding if you aren't honest with Blair. I don't know if you get me. Do you really want her to be kept in the dark? I don't count that as a betrayal after all... Not a real one because I guess it was innocent and it was your last day as a single man, but she needs to know, Chuck. She decided to trust you and now you need to show her there aren't secrets between the two of you."

"It needs to be secrets in a relationship, sis. That's the fun of it all."

"Not secrets like that. You're not at kindergarten anymore, when will you get it?" she asked with a mommy tone as Chuck looked away. "Take your responsibilities. I'll wait you downstairs" she added and walked away, closing the door behind her.

Chuck had to admit Serena was right. He wouldn't fully agree with her, but after all he thought deep down Blair needed to know about the kiss.

What could possibly happen? Probably she'll say that she doesn't want to marry him anymore.

He recalled Nate kissing Jenny at the Masquerade Ball of years before and she being mad at him for the entire night and the days after, only to find out Nate kissed another girl because he was in love with Serena and he wanted her to know. He had kept Blair in the dark about it, but he didn't love her, not like he on the other hand he did and still doing.

He had tried to be loyal through all those years they've been together, and his purpose was to be loyal till death would do them apart, but probably there wouldn't be any contract to sign that promise. Blair would leave him the day before their wedding and he would not see their son grow together because she would try to get a sole custody...

The thought of it made him cringe. He had made a misstep. He hadn't been loyal for once and he would pay for it.

He got off the bed and took a cold shower. If he wanted to charm Blair into forgiving him, he had to be a well-groomed future groom. He washed his hair carefully and dried them as fast as he could, he found a light pink shirt and a grey suit that he paired with a pink paisley tie. He finished with dark brown shoes and a little amount of gel on his thick hair.

He found Serena waiting for him on the edge of the beige couch of the foyer once he was done. His step-sister smiled widely at his sight and they both headed to the elevator to catch the limo that was going to pick them up out of the building.

Serena hadn't suggested it, but Chuck as a perfect gentleman as he was decided to buy Blair her favorite flowers. Of course it was peonies, in the brightest of pinks. He noticed they matched his shirt as the pair got into Blair's building, and the realization made him smile.

"Why are you smiling? Proud of yourself?" Serena had asked while they were in the elevator.

He smirked "Probably" he lied. Better made her believe that.

The resounding noise of the bell informed them they had arrived.

Serena was the first to go since they weren't sure Blair was around trying her wedding dress or anything else for the wedding. She had been clear to Chuck when she asked him not to inquire boutiques or her Mother about her wedding dress. She wanted it to be a surprise, and she didn't want Chuck to ruin it just hours before they would _hopefully_ still tie the knot.

"Blair?" Serena asked with a loud voice.

They didn't hear anything at first until the sound of heels on the marble floor. "Serena? I thought you were going to arrive earlier. I need you to try your bridesmaid dress another time. We need to try it with your hair and make-up done."

Serena turned back to Chuck and aimed to move back behind the column so that he wouldn't see Blair if she arrived there before she could tell her he was there. "I have a guest, B" she popped before she could continue. She had guessed right about that since Blair was in her shiny white dress and was about to walk till her best friend, if she hadn't stopped her.

"Who is there? Chuck?" she guessed, not surprised at all.

"He's behind the column, behind me" Serena explained as Blair tried to hide behind a column herself "I'm sure he won't try to take a peak" she changed her tone and turned to check on him. He was still hid.

"Tell the Basshole to go" she warned her friend. "I've got no time to smooch."

Chuck rolled his eyes behind the column and tried to peep at her, but he gave up as soon as he realized it wouldn't benefit the conversation they would have sooner.

"He just wants to talk, B. Get off your dress for five minutes, come on. You have time."

"Time? What is time, Serena! We don't have any left. If Chuck wants to talk he'll send me a text. Go away!" she said with annoyance. "And would you please stop talking for him? I'm sure he knows how to motion words, how to apology for being here."

"I don't apologize being here" Chuck interjected. "We... Need to talk. Now."

"Looks serious" Blair grumbled and stomped her foot on the floor before heading back to the dining room where they were trying the dresses and make-up, and her Mother was working with wedding planners to make everything perfect.

After a couple of minutes Blair came back in the foyer. Chuck didn't need to be asked to step forward to be seen, so he did it by himself and Serena walked away towards the room Blair had just come from.

When he was left alone with her, he took a while to appreciate what Blair was wearing. He decided to long on her figure to look up to her fine white silk lingerie that was perfectly blatant under her white dressing gown. Her slip covered her belly delicately and made her look exceptionally sexy despite the size of her bump. Her bra was also evident under the slip, it was white lace with tiny bows at the bottom of the straps. But damn he couldn't see her panties.

"What do you want, Chuck?" she asked bitterly taking the flowers from his hands.

He woke up from his daydream of him removing those straps from her shoulders and undo her bra, wondering if she would wear that under her wedding dress - "Can we go to your room? I need to talk to you" he said, serious.

Blair frowned but he noticed she didn't seem upset by the request. He knew her and how much she was a drama queen, that she would probably plot in her mind about the matter of the conversation, and this almost calmness she was showing surprised him.

"Fine, but just for five minutes" she stated, then started to climb the stairs before him.

….

"What are you saying? I just want you to repeat it" she asked, still annoyed but not mad as he had expected. "You can't be serious" she shook her head in disapproval.

"Tomorrow we're going to get married and we need a pre-wedding dinner, Blair."

She made a face "Pre-wedding dinner? I still have stuff to do and I think so do you to lose our precious day before we get married to throw a nonsensical dinner with our friends."

He shook his head "Can't believe you're saying no to this, I've already prepared everything. I thought you liked traditions."

"Actually, I do! But this isn't a tradition. And I don't have time."

He rolled his eyes, trying to be convincing "You only get married once. I want to do this right."

"You only die once, Chuck. You can get married as many times as you want on the other hand" she shrugged her shoulders lightly walking towards the window. "I don't think is inevitable to dine with our friends tonight. This is my final decision."

She turned completely to the window and looked outside. The sun was burning the poor plants on her balcony and they were safely inside with the air conditioners on. Chuck sat on her bed with legs crossed. He tried to find the best excuse to let the time fly and he succeed, but now she didn't want to accept his innocent proposal. He surely was scared of her reaction to the kiss, so he tried to turn the conversation onto another subject that came up to his mind as they were climbing the stairs that led to her room.

It annoyed him that she looked so quiet and not nervous as he had expected her to be.

She knew he wasn't a coward anymore and was willing to marry her, but in that moment he was being one because he didn't have the guts to tell her the truth.

"Don't I get to express my wish?" he asked all of a sudden after a minute of deep thinking. The question made her turn. Her eyes were expressionless. She looked too serious or better indifferent at that point. "You have organized everything. I didn't get to choose the food, the flowers and other small details, but I gave you charte blanche and I don't regret it because I love your taste and I know you've done a good job to make everything perfect, but... I feel being kinda left out. As if I had things scheduled for me that I didn't plan. So I'm asking you, say yes to this. It won't last more than two hours."

He tried his best to gave her the best speech he could think of. He was escaping from the real truth and had invented this lie to change subject. She had to say yes, he would have another chance to be honest to her before their wedding like he knew had to. He knew she would be happier after a delicate dinner with fine Italian dishes.

Blair bit her lip and she thought about it for a second. She looked moved by his request, her expression changed and finally she motioned a quick yes and nodded her head. She added a smile to the mix, and he was happy that had agreed.

He stood up at that point and gave her a peck on the lips, then walked away.

Serena was impatiently waiting at the bottom of the stairs. "What have you done? Did you tell her?"

Chuck turned briefly before reaching the elevator "Is better if you go choosing a dress and call your boyfriend. Tonight you're all invited to my penthouse" he said, while Serena tried to run to him before elevator's doors would close.

"What?" she asked, but he just smiled and then disappeared into the elevator.

The blonde was left there confused and waited for Blair to climb down the stairs to ask her about Chuck. Once she did five minutes later, she was smiling as if she was proud of herself.

"Everything is alright with Chuck?"

Blair frowned and looked away as if she was lost in another dimension, thinking "Why it shouldn't, S. Everything is going as planned" she smiled viciously.

Serena still looked confused. "So you mean you forgave him?" she sighed "That's awesome, B. I'm glad you aren't compromising your wedding for -"

Blair interjected "For a stupid dinner before the _day_, I know. He insisted."

"A dinner? Is that what he told you?" she wondered, and her best friend nodded again, a bitchy smile on her face.

….

Chuck knew he had complicated things.

He knew he had to confess what he had done and be honest, but seriously, it was just an innocent kiss and he still believed that girl might have been his future wife undercover. There was something about her lips and the way that woman had grabbed his hair that reminded him of the tiny brunette, although he couldn't get close enough to touch her belly for evidence. If the girl was Blair, it was totally in her style.

Once he got back to their penthouse, he needed to organize the dinner he had just decided to threw at their place. He called his trustworthy cook from the Palace Hotel and asked for some waiters to serve them, usual stuff he was used to do for other events, thankfully. He took a shower while the staff arrived, and got ready for the night. He had obviously called Nate and Lily too, they would be the other guests besides Dan and Serena and Eleanor Waldorf and Cyrus Rose. He didn't have a big group of friends after all, that was the nice thing.

He went to check his phone hours after he got back there only to notice there had been several missed calls and texts. He knew they weren't from Blair, so he just ignored them.

When he got downstairs to prepare and welcome his guests, he found a surprise.

A tiny red paper had been left in what it had to be his favorite seat for the night. He inspected it when the last waiter went to the kitchen, and was left open-mouthed after he read it.

_I don't mind you kissing me, but perhaps the press may find out Chuck Bass has been a bastard just right before his wedding, and so his girlfriend. ;)_

He passed a hand through his hair. This woman was trying to threat him, he believed. He guessed she knew he was the bachelor that she had to dance for. She knew he was Chuck Bass, the most famous New York businessman. Everyone knew him.

He didn't think about this.

What if this woman would throw him in the dirt before he could actually tell Blair about the kiss? The thought of it made him cringe again, he would sweat cold if it wasn't for the air conditioners that were turned on in the house to keep his guests cool. Blair wouldn't be cool though if she found out about this from another person.

He went to the kitchen and cut the tiny paper in pieces. No one had to find it.

He smiled once he got back to the foyer. Nate and Jenny had just arrived and Serena was behind them, and she was weirdly alone. He smiled awkwardly at the couple and frowned at his step sister. He hoped she wouldn't be too obsessed about the whole situation, and didn't ask Blair about it or worse told her. Damn, he didn't think about many things.

"Hey, man. You look great!" Nate shook hands with Chuck.

Chuck smiled at his friend. It was true they had fun the night before but in his mind Nate there in New York still looked weird. He had been in other States for too long. "Uhm, thanks Nathaniel. So do you... And your girlfriend" he said turned to Jenny.

"Nice to see you again, Chuck" Jenny hugged him briefly before Serena interjected.

"Wow, my brother looks hot! I don't know for how long though."

Nate and Jenny looked confused at Serena so Chuck decided to walk towards the great window with his step sis to avoid any possible questions. "What do you think you are doing? They don't know. Nobody can know besides me and you."

Serena put a hand on her hip "And Blair. Remember that Blair should know, huh?"

He rolled his eyes in annoyance "They say you shouldn't put a finger between husband and wife" he said bitterly.

"If I don't push you to confess this to her, I'm not sure you'll ever become her husband."

He snorted and tried to keep himself calm. He hated when someone told him what to do, as good as it was. He knew he just needed a little push. Before he could answer her, a wave of brown curly hair walked in the room. Her dress grazed his pregnant figure and brightened up her hair. Or maybe it was the crystal chandelier on the ceiling that made her hair look so brilliant and her look like an angelic figure.

He reached her and without saying a word she kissed his lips briefly. "See. I came."

He smirked and shook hands with Cyrus Rose. "That's nice to see you again, Charles! I know you would have made it someday. I remember the day Blair told me she said I love you and you didn't answer" he motioned with his pasty voice. Blair glared at him.

"Why you just remember this, honey" Eleanor interjected "there are better things to remember, like when they told us they were going to have a baby" she smiled, then hugged and kissed Chuck's cheek "that is the most amazing thing in the world."

"Yeah and I found out after everyone" said another voice from the elevator. Chuck wasn't expecting him "I was so disappointed as a Father to be honest" Harold Waldorf walked towards them. "And I'm glad it's going to be with you, Charles" he smiled shaking hands with him.

Chuck looked pleasantly surprised. "What a surprise, Mr Waldorf. I was expecting to see you tomorrow. Blair didn't tell me anything about your arrival."

He giggled lightly "Because I wanted to make her a surprise by coming earlier" he explained "so I came earlier last week and... I hoped I would meet you before. I need to talk to you."

Blair frowned and looked confused at her Father "Daddy, why don't you all go and have a drink now? I'm sure you are excited to be here but we can talk about it later" she smiled awkwardly. Both her Mother and Cyrus walked away to the bar, while she noticed her Father going towards Nate. She and Chuck exchanged a glance. "Got something to tell me?"

Chuck swallowed but tried to keep his face calm and normal. "Nothing. I just missed you."

She grinned and put her hands on the nape of his neck, then got closer. "Are you sure you have nothing to say to me, to your soon-to-be wife? Secrets I don't know? Anything?"

His expression hardened for a second as he put his hands securely on her hips. He melted the second after and smirked. "Nope. Just that I wish we hadn't guests so that I could appreciate our baby alone..." he winked.

"You're so dirty, Bass" she freed herself and walked away leaving him dry mouthed.

….

"I've prepared something for tomorrow" Jenny informed everyone in her shiny black dress after the main course. "Remember the song I had to sing at your party few months ago?"

Chuck nodded. "Are you gonna perform for us?"

She shrugged "It's an addition to the wedding gift we bought you" she grinned and turned to Nate "I don't know if you called someone to perform, or..." she left the phrase vague.

"Actually, I have no idea. I let Blair do everything and I guess she did, but I'm sure they wouldn't mind if your band plays few songs, right Blair?"

Blair raised an eyebrow "Right, right. I don't mind your music, Little J. You aren't bad. You have my approval" she answered. She looked distracted.

"You're gonna like her music" Nate added.

Jenny blushed and punched Nate's arm jokingly "You're too kind, stop it" she pleaded.

"It's no secret I love your music" he said, then gave her a peck on the lips and they both laughed. It was nice for Chuck to see them finally happy.

Blair put her glass of wine on the table before asking "Secrets? Who said anything about secrets?" to everyone at the table as if she had been suddenly awakened from a long long sleep. Chuck started to get suspicious about her behavior then.

"Do you love secrets, Blair?" Jenny asked.

She shook her head in disapproval "What did I teach you, Jenny. That there shouldn't be secrets between friends and boyfriends. I hate lies and liars."

Chuck started upsetting at that, but he told himself he didn't have to worry, he could handle this, he could handle Blair Waldorf. He looked where Serena was sitting and noticed the way she was looking at him. She was concerned, her eyes were full of disappointment.

"I see Blair Waldorf hasn't changed" Nate commented, and she smirked.

The older people were far from the table to have a peak at the balcony, so she could be more herself than she ever was before. That was a blessing for her, somehow. "Old habits die hard" she said bitterly, Chuck could see her glancing at him with the corner of her eye. He feared she probably knew.

It took those few words to ruin everything.

After she spoke, a waiter brought her another tiny piece of paper. It was of the same red of the one he had received few hours before. He started to cringe as her smile changed into an angry expression. She looked really pissed off.

"What, Blair?" asked Serena. Her worries were about to become real, Chuck thought.

Her mouth fell and she struggled to read the paper, then handled it to Nate.

_I couldn't wait more, Chuck Bass. I needed everyone to know. I know your friends and girlfriend are with you now, so that looked like the perfect occasion. I thought that I needed to threat you to have money, but then I realized the only thing I could punish you with was humiliation. Probably you have no idea who I am now, but my hands looked so familiar to you yesterday, when we kissed. I bet you wanted to take a ride on me again, like that first time... Gah. You took my virginity and then abandoned me. You didn't want to hang out anymore, you made me really sad. I liked you but you just wanted me for a night. You needed to pay. That is the reason why I let you kiss me at your bachelor party. I destroyed your chance at happiness like you destroyed mine. Have fun by yourself now, xoxo._

Chuck really did sweat cold this time.

A drop of sweat fall on the side of his face once Nate finished reading. Blair was looking at the paper in his hands, completely astonished. She didn't dare to lift her head until she stood up few minutes later and looked at Chuck.

Everyone was looking at them and wasn't sure of what would happen next, but they guessed it. Everyone knew now. He closed his eyes briefly and the next thing he saw was Blair shaking her head and whispering an "It's over", tears already damping her cheeks as she run away to the elevator. He wasn't sure it would be theirs ever again. He was fucked.

His instinct was to run to her and talk. He needed to explain.

Once he arrived to the ground floor, he run out of the building to catch her limo, but she was already gone. He called Arthur and decided to go into the New York traffic just to reach her house, the only place he thought she would go to.

He jumped into the elevator and pressed the button of the penthouse once there. A startled Dorota welcomed him inside the house, explaining that _Miss Blair looked upset _and that_ she didn't know why she was crying_. He told her he would give further explanations later, and that he needed to fix the situation before.

He climbed the stairs and reached her room.

The lights were off and he could easily distinguish her silent cry from the noise of the vacuum cleaner Dorota was using when he got there.

He peeked inside and saw the light of the moon reflecting on her. She was lying on the bed, her body towards the windows of her room. The moans slightly stopped once he got in, she had acknowledged his presence and didn't want him to hear her crying.

"Go away" she murmured.

He didn't care for her request and just sat there next to her. He noticed her left hand was secured on her belly and the other was under her cheek. All the times her hormones made her cry -sometimes for the silliest of things, she had always adjusted herself that way.

There were times he still worked till ten or eleven at night and she was alone at their penthouse. He would come home and find her half asleep, spread on their wide bed with the TV on. He would get on the furniture to kiss her cheek, see the tracks tears made on her porcelain face, and wipe them away with kisses. She would wake and smile and confess him that she was watching one of her favorite DVD and that the ending scene touched her when he would ask why she was crying. It hurt him to see her cry. He just wanted her to be happy, but now he realized he was being the cause of her sadness.

"I need to explain" he said, his voice incredible low.

She moaned then asked with rage "There's no need to explain, I should have known, I should have known we wouldn't last. We wouldn't get married because you don't like to keep your tongue safely in your mouth."

He sighed and bit his lip "It was an accident. I couldn't see her face, I got carried away."

"If it took it one woman in disguise to betray me, I don't want to think of the future." She said with anger as her voice ended with a jolt.

Chuck covered his face with his hands and wiped away few sweat droplets from his forehead. He was in trouble. Bad trouble. He hated to say it, but he didn't know how to fix that situation. He got into a black tunnel with no exit, no lights. His body got the best of him an he hated it for that. Why couldn't he stop or better not try?

"I wonder why" Blair said in the darkness of the room after a while. "Didn't I give you what you needed? Didn't I love you? I thought you cared about us" she sobbed.

He hated being upset. "It was a mistake. I was drunk. Nate made us play 'I never' and I drank a lot I lost track and time. I was confused, dazed. It was only a kiss..." his voice cracked.

He heard a weird noise escaping her mouth "I can tell when you lie, Bass. Don't try to deceive me like that! Don't blame it on Nate most of all. It's all your fault you've kissed a girl who was whoring out just for you." She sounded so bitter.

Chuck was left wordless for a couple of minutes. "It was a mistake" he said, trying to justify himself. He was feeling miserable.

"I know you very well aware of the kiss" she answered, suddenly sitting down on the bed. She turned at him and despite the lights off he could still see her profile. "Because I was there" she added, leaving him astonished.

It took those simple words for him to realize his theory, maybe... "It was you" he said, his soul slowly started feeling better.

"Yes."

He grasped for air and his breath became irregular because his heart started beating fast. He didn't know what was happening, but he surely thought it was due to the recent good news.

It felt relieving.

"You were the dancer" he stated, still realizing. "You were the dancer and you, you made up all of this. The cards, those faces. They sobbing. It was all fake" he noticed, feeling somehow played. His breath changed again and he clenched his fist, the rage starting to grow.

She stood up to turn up the light. The only answer she gave him was a smile.

"What for?" he asked, probably knowing the answer. "I thought we went past trust issues a while go. Are you really that suspicious of me?"

She looked away when she spoke. "You weren't supposed to know. I didn't think you would kiss me. I just wanted to make you a surprise, neither Nate did know. I paid the girl he hired and asked her to go away, so she gave me the costume she would wear, and -"

"Reason why all the lights were off but your candle" he commented.

"I didn't want you to suspect it was me" she explained, getting closer "But then, you kissed me. I was glad to be fast enough to slap your hand away or you would've touched my belly."

"And I would've known it was you" he came to the same conclusion.

She sat beside him again. Her hands reached his and she smiled sheepishly "It was fun, actually. Nobody knew it was me but you. I knew you do, although you doubt it till five minutes ago. Was I good enough to hide it?"

He giggled "You fooled me well. I should pretend to be angry now and say I quit this wedding" he joked, his giggle sudden became a smirk.

She grinned and he could see the dimples forming on her cheeks. They were so cute, he thought. Sometimes he hated that he couldn't say no to her. She really had him fooled. She made her puppy eyes as to convince him to put that thought aside, but it wasn't needed. He knew he wouldn't let go, he knew what he wanted. She shouldn't be worried because for the first time he was sure of himself. Who cared she played a bit with his emotions that evening, he was indeed happy that he hadn't made a serious mistake the night before.

He put a hand on her back and pushed her closer enough to kiss her sweetly, but not for long. She was soon reminded of something and broke the contact with him.

"What?" he asked.

"The people at our house must wonder what happened" she explained.

He sighed. "That's true, but I don't bother to go back there unless you're going to come back with me" he started to say. He noticed she wanted to talk, but he shushed her. "I know what you're going to say. I promise I'll let you get back here with your parents as soon as we explain what happened tonight."

"That sounds like a great idea" she agreed, she gave him one long kiss before going out.

….

They saw Serena stopping and walking towards them once they got in the penthouse after a good hour spent at the Waldorfs. They were holding hands and smiling, that was the first thing Serena and the other people that were in the room noticed.

She sighed with relief "Thank Goddess, you two made up."

Nate and Jenny reached Serena soon "What happened, guys? You made us worried."

Chuck exchanged a glance with Blair and they both giggled. "I know, we owe you all an explanation" he started, as Lily and the other parents acknowledged they were back and got closer too.

"Is everything okay, Charles? Nobody knew where'd you go" Lily said.

"It is, really. It was just a misunderstanding... Between me and Blair" he started to say. "All because yesterday I couldn't keep the tongue in my mouth. It looked like it was a surprise after all... And we figured it out, so don't panic. There will still be a wedding tomorrow."

Serena smiled "That's awesome! I'm happy for you!"

"Glad I didn't fly to New York for nothing" added Harold, and everyone laughed.

…...

Hello everybody! I tried to post a chapter a week and looks like I succeed!lol. Hope everything is alright with you, next chapter you'll finally see Chuck and Blair tie the knot... Maybe.

See you next week :) xoxo


	9. Gold

Chuck hadn't been able to sleep that night if not for the sleeping pills Nate had given him.

His best friend and also best man had moved all of his stuff in Chuck and Blair's penthouse, so that he would be ready sooner for the day after. When he woke up at seven o' clock in the morning, he was surprised to see his best friend already up.

"Were those pills useful at least?" he asked.

Chuck was combing his hair. "Fabulous. The alarm woke me up" he added as he put down the brush and buttoned his shirt.

"Good."

Nate went out of the bathroom to have breakfast, and Chuck followed him to the kitchen. The couple of friends picked up some mixed stuff. It wasn't an usual breakfast for Chuck in the morning, but he told himself he couldn't arrive starved at his own wedding.

"Is Jenny still asleep?" he asked after a while.

Nate swallowed a croissant before answering. "Yeah, she is still exhausted for our trip before we got back here" he admitted looking at his plate full of things.

"She's exhausted just for that?" Chuck teased with a smirk, and Nate giggled.

"You're still the same, Chuck Bass" he commented nodding his head in agreement. "I can't believe you're really getting married. It looked like yesterday when we both tried drugs and drunk malt for the first time, and now you're about to become a father and a husband."

"Keep the memories for your speech" he smiled. "Speaking of, have you written it? I expect you to say something and I guess Blair does too."

Nate gave another bite to what he was eating first. "You better grab tissues when I do because I'm sure you'll cry."

"Do you believe I will? Well, that's a bet."

"Everyone cries at their wedding, come on!" he exclaimed and patted his friend's shoulder.

….

She wasn't sure she would fit in her gown that day.

Her mother had created for her a beautiful wedding dress. Strapless, it had small flowery details on the chest. The skirt was really large and able to cover her big belly under it. It reminded Blair one of those dressed they used to wear in the 19th century, just like she had asked. She wanted her dress to resemble one they used in Gone with the wind, but not too much puffy since she was already big because of the pregnancy.

That morning she was weirdly hungry and she blamed the baby for it. She barely ate breakfast, and above all she didn't expect to do so two hours before her wedding.

"I want more berries, Dorota" she ordered her maid and she promptly walked out of the room to fill her bowl again. "I don't know why I'm so hungry. Shouldn't be people be anxious and disgusted the day of their wedding?"

Serena had laughed. "I don't believe someone is disgusted to get married, B. But anxiety can do that, of course. Aren't you nervous?"

Blair looked at her reflection in the mirror while the hair stylist was fixing her hair.

"Probably, I am" she shrugged, folding her hands on her lap.

"Probably? You're getting married with Chuck! Isn't that great?"

She nodded, a bit annoyed.

"Come on, B! Cheer up! I'm sure Chuck doesn't want to see you like this when you'll arrive to the altar" Serena smiled happily.

Her best friend didn't answer to that question and kept looking at the person who was styling her hair trying to distract.

Was she anxious? Actually, she was super excited to tie the knot. She was getting married with Chuck, the only real guy she had been loved for all those years. They were going to have a baby in less than a month, and she couldn't wait. Why though her emotions seemed blocked?

"Can you please leave us alone thanks" she asked to the stylist and she left the room.

Serena was applying mascara on her lashes and turned to Blair making a face.

"I'm scared, S" she finally confessed in a whisper. She told herself not too cry despite she had waterproof make up.

"Oh B" her best friend closed the distance between them and hugged her "I know you are but everything is going to be fine. You'll be perfect and beautiful. No one will be immune to your beauty today. Above all Chuck. He loves you and he can't wait for you to have the ring on your fourth finger" she tried to comfort her.

Blair fixed the make up under her left eye although she knew it hadn't ruined a bit. "What if he says no? What if I stumble on my feet while walking down the aisle? What if he doesn't like what I did for the buffet and the wedding room and the flowers, and -"

Serena cut her friend off. "What, what, what. Stop being dramatic, B! Chuck will appreciate whatever thing you did. From the flowers of the nuptial arc to the music you've chosen to play. I'm sure he'll love it."

She tried to nod and sighed. "You better get me into a coma if I stumble" she added, and Serena slapped her arm.

….

Chuck had kept himself calm in his room at the building the wedding was going to be hold.

Ten minutes were left till he had to go out and wait for Blair at the altar that he knew had been put in the center of the meadow of this property not too far from the Palace Hotel. Nate had informed him it was covered by pink peonies. Chuck wondered how did Blair get those since it wasn't peonies period, but then he remembered she could get anything if she wanted to.

"So, ready for it?" a smiling Nate asked once he got in the room.

"Should we go already? Hey, my bow tie is fine?"

Nate grinned even more "You are perfect, man. Don't worry about the details, they are perfect as well."

Chuck smiled at his friend and turned to the mirror again. He fixed the bow tie for the 100th time and looked that the hair were styled properly. Nate kept looking at his every move and made him somehow more anxious than he was.

"Is there something wrong?" he looked at his best friend, trying to hide the irritability.

The blond shook his head and crossed his arms. "You know, is weird. Too much weird actually." Chuck frowned but he didn't ask further so Nate continued. "Look at you. You're twenty-two and about to settle. You shouldn't be this tensed. You should be glad of this day and enjoy every part of it!" he walked towards him and patted his shoulder before leaving the room. Chuck soon followed him with a grin.

As soon as he reached the outside where everyone was sitting, he was astonished.

Everything looked more than perfect, absolutely flawless. He hadn't had any option than let her do what she liked to do the most, plan and give orders to create something unforgettable.

The chairs were arranged in two long rows, one on the left and one on the right, and ten chairs for each row. Every one of them was covered with real flowers, pink peonies and pink bows. Not too far from the chairs there was the altar. It was covered by peonies too, and roses. Chuck smiled seeing they were yellow, he would thank Blair later at the buffet.

He went on the altar by Nate, that was already there. Some people on his way to it shook hands with him and he quickly smiled at them before making his way up there. He turned on his right to see a radiant Serena smiling at him. He had just the time to take a look at her fuchsia dress when the music started.

After the first notes of the famous bridal march by Wagner, Blair made her entrance.

It was the first time ever he would see her dress. It had been a secret until the arranged dinner of the day before, although Chuck tried to get hints of how it was made from Serena and sometimes Dorota, who he knew liked to spill secrets if well paid.

She looked perfect in the white gown he knew her mother had created for her. Everyone turned to her while she was walking down the aisle aka a dark blue carpet.

Blair looked at everyone but him, and this made Chuck think she was really shy and anxious like him to acknowledge this dream of theirs was actually about to become true. Once she arrived in the middle of the path she had to walk to arrive to the altar, she finally met his eyes.

He had promptly smiled, a wide smile of contentment.

Blair had smiled back and in her glory and glow she run a hand on her belly to smooth it. Of course he didn't miss the gesture and thought she was trying to tell him something with that. Was she in pain, perhaps?

She was eight months pregnant and they weren't sure she would deliver on terms or earlier.

The smile on his face started to fade and made him worried, but Blair easily climbed the two steps and gave her bouquet made of peonies to Serena. She also nodded as to let him know she was okay. He felt relieved and smiled at her, then the ceremony started.

After almost a hour, Chuck and Blair were finally declared husband and wife. He had kissed deeply in front of their guests and exchanged smiles.

He still couldn't believe they had made it, and gladly the baby looked safe and still wanted to be in Blair's belly rather then come out.

He helped Blair getting in her comfy ballerinas once they had taken some pictures in the meadow they were. First only he and Blair alone, then with their best man and maid. Nate and Serena looked so glad and acting joyfully for the whole time that neither Chuck or Blair could stop wearing their smile. It was the first day they were totally genuinely happy.

The dishes Blair had chosen for the wedding buffet looked delicious.

Chuck noticed she ate everything or almost, and smiled at her every time he noticed her hungry stare at some pasta or sweet they were served.

"What are you staring at?" she asked once while she was tasting some caviar.

He chucked and got closer. "You're too amusing when you eat" he commented.

Blair dropped her fork in the dish and pouted.

"I mean it. See you eating makes me smile" he added, and she couldn't help but lower her head. A tiny smile appeared.

She knew he was talking about her eating disorder. She had had it randomly in those last two years they had been together and tried to fight the instinct to get in that loop again. She knew she had to try and appreciate her body for what it was - _wild, passionate and tasty_ as Chuck always reminded her.

She had to remember he loved her for what she was. He loved her ass who made her body look like a mandolin if seen from another prospective. He loved her stomach and above all her belly button. It looked like the one of a baby, and it was so nice to tackle her there during sex. He also loved her boobs. He knew she thought they weren't big enough. In his mind Blair believed guys loved girls with big breasts and never settled with the normal size.

When sometimes they used to watch and they randomly catch a movie with and actress with chubby boobs, she changed channel fast making Chuck groan in response. Not for the gifted woman of course, but because he really liked that show and wanted to watch. He had let her know many many times that he loved her breasts. It didn't matter they weren't exactly as big as Serena's, they were precious to him. Hell, one of his favorite activities during sex was sucking on them. Her nipples were so funny.

"I have to eat for two now" she remembered him and put a hand on his leg. Chuck grinned.

They kept eating in silence until Nate stood up from next to Chuck. He knew that time was coming. He reminded when he did the same at his Father's wedding, more than five years before. It seemed too back in time. He didn't think someone would do the same to him before he would go in his thirties or forties.

"I'd like to propose a toast" Nate started, and the people sitting at the tables turned in his direction. "Me and Chuck and Blair have been friends since the day we were born. You know when you are a kid you never know well the people you meet. You think they're going to leave you someday, maybe forsake you. But this didn't happen with Chuck and Blair. When Chuck was a little kid, he used to be wild. He liked to make the teachers get mad and scream in annoyance at him because he couldn't be tamed. I remember I used to fear him when I was in preschool. He broke other children's toys and looked satisfied of it. I was kinda scared to get closer to him, but eventually I did. The thing that made me turn to Chuck was that he didn't do, he never did anything like that to me. He then confessed me in a snarl when he was 6 that it was because he liked me and trusted me as a friend."

Nate turned to Chuck and he was looking pleased. It was as if he was reliving those moments through Nate's speech, and this warmed his heart. It surely warmed Blair's because she hadn't been with the guys until kindergarten. It was so amusing listening stories on him since Chuck wasn't one who loved to share things about his past.

"When we hit kindergarten that's where we met Blair and Serena" she looked at his two female friends. "Chuck never stopped being a bad kid and he used to annoy Blair much. Once I remember he cut the bow of one of her favorite headbands, one who resembled the one Snow White has in the fairytale. She got mad at Chuck but instead of crying she slapped him. He looked so surprised by that gesture. No one ever dared to do so up until that day, and I swear that is probably the moment he started considering Blair as someone would could tame him and kinder his spirit. Although it took him time since he's hard on his feelings. But well yeah, it happened. And now I'm more than happy to become an uncle for their baby and my best friend's best man. May the odds be with you" he raised his glass of champagne.

Chuck smiled widely and then sipped the glass in no time. Same did Blair who was then putting both hands on Chuck's back seeing him frozen. He was maybe thinking.

"Let's go. You owe me the first dance of the night" she whispered, and he followed her.

He knew what he had to do but Nate's words delayed his actions.

He remembered every single thing he mentioned, and was surprised Nate did too. Is not that all the kids remembered what they did when they were 4 or 6, but he did really well.

Nate had left out that Chuck hadn't many friends and was usually sitting next to the window eating alone his lunch prepared by an au pair. He remembered when his best friend approached him because the teacher had asked him to call Chuck. They needed to draw something but he opposed to the idea and walked away from the others. Nate had consciously talked to him about it, that he knew how it felt not having a mother nor a father who cared for you. His father was the same, and he just acted as if he was happy and played with his toys so he wouldn't get his indifference.

The funny thing was that Chuck wasn't aware Nate knew all of that stuff about his family back then. He explained it to him with easy words, but it had been enough to trust the guy with his life. He was so genuine and loyal compared to the others that he tried to open to him.

Once Blair had come in the picture along with Serena, he became a bit angry. Blair always sat beside Nate and acted as if she was his girlfriend, which annoyed Chuck. It was as if she was stealing his friend or kinda. He couldn't really stand it so he broke her bows and headbands to show her his displeasure. He knew it was roll eyes worthy now, but you don't think about the dynamics behind an action when you are a child.

And now he was about to have one on his own.

He wouldn't let the baby live the same life as him. He wouldn't leave his kid alone at home with au pairs who would teach him the things his father never dared to teach him when he was a toddler. He won't let his son grow without a parent. It would bring too much grief. And he wanted this son so bad he couldn't wait. It was the realization of the future he had always envisioned with Blair since the day he decided to buy her an engagement ring.

"What are you thinking?" Blair asked. She had noticed he was deep in thought when they started dancing in the center of the room.

His eyes drifted from over her shoulder to her eyes, and he ordered himself to focus. "Memories" he just answered and grinned at his newly wife. "Nate brought them up with his speech. I can't believe he remembers all of that stuff about me, about you."

She giggled "Of course he does. Nate loves you. You are his best friend. Serena can't forget the times I throw sand on her hair whenever we went to the Hamptons for the holidays either" she sighed at the old memories. "Nate remembers you cutting my poor Snow White headband which I never forgotten. They were so precious!" she made a face.

"This means when we'll have a baby girl I'll buy those for her. For forgiveness."

Chuck moved his hand from her hip to her belly, and Blair looked up at him with sweetness. It felt so natural and welcoming when he did that. They knew the baby was listening to them, in fact he kicked and Chuck felt it.

"You already planning a girl before I even deliver the boy?"

"It doesn't hurt to fantasize about the future" he raised an eyebrow "above all when it's with you. Don't tell me you don't want another woman running around the house."

She looked away for a second. "I don't want to feel outnumbered. Having your dick in the penthouse is already enough" she licked her lips challengingly "and I'm sure Alexander here will give us a hard time" she said confident.

"Alexander? Deciding baby names without the baby daddy, I see" he pouted.

Blair blushed. "You don't like it? Were you thinking about -" she asked, worried he wouldn't.

She and Serena had talked about baby names for weeks. Above all in the days Blair and Chuck didn't meet Serena tried to distract her by going shopping for the baby and decide the name he would have. Blair had started to call her future son like that one day, and she sticked to it when also Dorota and her mother looked pleased with the name.

"I haven't thought to call my first son Bart if it's what you think. I know I should pay my father's respect but I don't want to name our baby like that. I feel is too... rushed. I don't want him to become the new attention of the media just because he's called Bartholomew."

She agreed. "Would work well as a second name though" she added.

Chuck shrugged his shoulders and kept dancing with her. It was so weird discussing the name their baby will have in front of a crowd who was obviously watching you.

He pushed Blair a little closer to him so that her stomach was now pressed on his. The baby kicked again and they both smiled. It occurred to him that he usually did that whenever they were close or having sex. The baby sensed his parents and their love it was just so amazing.

Few photos were taken while they were dancing, and once the dances ended it was time for the cake. Chuck wondered what cake she chose. Whatever flavor suited him, although he wasn't a big fan of lemon and Summer fruit in general.

It turned out the cake was chocolate. He knew Blair craved lots of chocolate lately, but he wouldn't think she would also order their cake like that. It was white chocolate though. A great cake with little peonies on it and small figures of a groom and a bride. He noticed the bride also had a baby bump so maybe Blair had expressly asked for it.

They left the party around midnight, ready to get home and relax. They were finally married, so one thing was done. The other was the baby, and honestly they decided to do their honeymoon so that it wouldn't interfere with him and the date Blair was supposed to deliver.

The elevator opened in front of them and Chuck lifted Blair up in his arms and got in their penthouse.

"I wish someone would be here to take us a picture" Blair murmured.

Chuck shrugged "You can't have everything in life. Damn you're not a lightweight anymore Blair" he teased, and she punched his arm lightly in response before he let her on her feet.

"What do you say we christen our house before the fun is over?" she proposed all of a sudden.

He was checking something in the kitchen and left her in the living room. When he heard her voice he smirked and walked back where she was. He had something in his hand, something she recognized being a gift. She smiled.

"You didn't have to, this is so beautiful and cute!" she exclaimed.

He got her a bracelet, a white gold one. It was full of tiny diamonds, and it kinda reminded her the Erikson Beamon he had given her several years before.

"Do you like it? I know the real wedding is over, but I still wanted you to have something new."

She looked up from the couch "It's really precious" she said as she wore it. "Perhaps it could be the only thing I'll be wearing tonight."

Chuck raised an eyebrow and got what she meant.

He leaned closer and touched the nape of her neck, slowly getting her face closer to him for a kiss. She thought things would be easier if she was standing up instead of sitting down, so she did it. Her hand reached his hair and while they kissed she started running her finger through them, inhaling their scent mixed with Chuck's cologne. It inebriated her body and somehow made her more excited than she already was.

Chuck's hand went on her back to open her dress. It was full of tiny buttons but he made it in few minutes with the un-hooking. Blair's dress fell down her hips and he helped her getting out of it. His hands found her strapless bra and then un-hooked that too, Blair's breasts suddenly feeling free to wander on her chest. He took a look at them and give her a small kiss on one.

Blair smiled at him and she rolled her eyes back for the arousal once she kept kissing her down till he was on her belly. That had to be for Blair the sweetest thing ever. She knew he was doing for the baby. He wanted the baby to acknowledge that their parents loved each other dearly and they couldn't wait for him to be born.

She recoiled back a bit to undress Chuck.

"It's not fair" she complained with a kitty voice and saw Chuck smirking at her when she did.

She removed his shirt and the shirt he had under and throw it somewhere, then her hands wandered on his chest full of hair. Passing her hands through his hair was something she liked to do as much as him sucking on her nipples. It was like stroking a dog sometimes because of the hair, but it mostly was relaxing. She could see Chuck's member already excited at that point and they didn't have a penetration yet.

Blair let her hands wander on the hair on his back and her hand went with no ceremonies in the front of his pants where she could appreciate his erection more. She let his pants fall from his knees and let him remove his shoes before he threw himself on her again and their lips crushed even harder than before.

He slowly walked to the couch to let her lie down on her back, then when she adjusted her whole body on it, he started giving her small kisses from the nape of her neck to her whole figure, once on her left then on her right. He didn't want the other side to feel lonely.

Once he was about to lower his boxers and thrust in her, she moaned. He though it was a natural reflex at first given by the fact that he was stimulating one of her breasts at that moment, but then he looked at her face and she had glossy eyes. He suddenly moved closer and brought his hands on her face.

"You okay?"

She answered in a sigh "I think I just had a contracti -" she was cut off by another moan she made.

"Contraction? This early?" he asked with worry "Want me to take you to the hospital?"

She closed her eyes briefly and put a hand on her belly. "Yes... please."

Chuck helped her to get in a summer dress and got dressed again too. Arthur took them to the nearest hospital and they went to the ER as soon as they could. Blair's supposed contractions hadn't stopped. It ached in between her legs and her whole body was hardly able to move. The Doctor of the Emergency section called Blair's gyno and took them in an empty room.

Blair lied down on her back, her forehead full of sweat and her eyes half closed. Chuck held her hand, which she was gripping firmly. Her Doctor came in a hurry and started inspecting her, a frown appeared on the woman's face once she was done after five good minutes.

"I think we should wait and see how tonight goes" the woman started with a calm tone. "If she lets out more blood then I have no other option than have a C-section."

Blair's mouth fell open and she tightened her grip on Chuck's hand. She felt suddenly terrified and her Doctor sensed that from the look on her face. Chuck himself looked kinda lost and didn't really have no idea what to say. He just told himself to comfort his wife.

"It won't hurt the baby if he is delivered before the term" she continued writing something on Blair's folder. "Actually a lot of pregnancies lately are like this. You don't need to worry. What I can tell you now is that you need to try and distract in any way and wait. If this baby wants to get out tomorrow, he will. I'll tell the nurse to give you something for the pain, Mrs Waldorf."

"It's Bass now" she corrected her. At least she hadn't lost her sarcasm.

The Doctor smiled. "You got married then? Congratulations!"

She saw the nurse coming so she excused herself and went out of the room, saying they could call her if the meds wouldn't help Blair because it could be the case to really help the baby out.

Blair pouted while the nurse was injecting the meds for the pain.

Chuck frowned, wondering if she felt pain elsewhere. "What's wrong?" he asked, his voice soft.

"Do I really look like a single woman?"

"From the ring I placed on your finger today I can't say yes. Perhaps you have amnesia?"

She squeezed his hand hard. "I mean it, Chuck! Do I look like I'm still nubile?"

"You shouldn't ask me that question. My opinion is clouded since you are my wife, you know" he nodded his head to the nurse and giggled. He didn't get why Blair was asking such silly and random questions. Did she forget they got married that day?

"Would you tell I'm married?" she then asked to the nurse.

The woman, a fat blonde with fuchsia lipstick, turned on her heels before she reached the door. "You have ring. You married. It's on newspapers." she answered with a Russian accent.

She blinked "Someone reads the New York Times at least" she said gleefully making the nurse shrug her shoulders. The nurse went away and shook her head as Blair looked satisfied.

"Don't tell me you just asked that question because the gyno couldn't remember we were getting married today" he shook his head in disapproval.

"I just wanted to check if I looked like a wife" she confessed, but Chuck frowned.

"At least you distracted me" he admitted with a grin.

Blair smiled back then silenced herself for long. Chuck didn't mind the silence as long as it was to think and contemplate, but he felt like he had said something wrong. He broke the quiet air that was setting in the room. She had managed to distract them both from the baby for ten minutes and now he was looking for something else to do to keep them busy.

The words of the Doctor slowly started to set in too. She had said that if Blair kept having the contractions the baby had to get out.

He wouldn't mind the baby now and he didn't care they wouldn't be able to go to the Hawaii for their honeymoon. He just wanted the things to go well and above all Blair and the baby to feel good. It had already been hard few months before to rush to the hospital during the evening and fear that she may lose their baby.

"Did I hurt you?" he asked all of a sudden. He tried to figure out.

Blair turned to his side since she was focusing on the half opened window in front of the bed, and looked at him with confusion.

"Did I hurt you... earlier, on the couch" he explained with a slight hint of guilt in his voice.

"You were doing everything but hurt me, Chuck." He lowered his head and turned again. She could see more thoughts and possibilities appearing in his head. "I know that right now you're blaming yourself because you helped me to lie down on the couch and while you were kissing me I felt the ache, but is not that you caused it. It had to happen. Maybe this baby is meant to be premature, who knows" she finished.

He shifted his body to look at her. Her eyes were filled with tears and he saw one crossing her cheek. It hurt him to be in that confusion right now, but he wanted to find a solution that wasn't his baby be delivered before the term. He knew that Blair could suffer for it other than the child, and he didn't want to risk. He walked towards her bed and sat down next to her.

"How are you feeling now?"

She barely smiled at the question. "My stomach hurts... but just a bit."

"Good" he agreed and placed a hand over it. "Now we just need to wait."

He adjusted next to her on the bed and kept holding her hand. Blair drift off to sleep soon, while he remained awake for the whole night. He checked she was alright and if she ever needed something, but the only time she woke she asked for water and he was soon ready to gave it to her. Besides that, Blair didn't seem to still hurt.

At seven in the morning the Doctor came in the room to check on her. Chuck was fully awake despite he hadn't slept at all, while Blair had just woken up.

"Feeling better, any blood stain?" the gyno asked sweetly and touched Blair's tummy.

She nodded "I think I'm right. It hasn't ached since the nurse gave me the meds last night..."

The Doctor kept inspecting the belly and blinked. "Then it was a false alarm. It usually happens when the pregnancy is about to reach the term that contractions happen. Is just an abdominal tightening, nothing serious. The contractions will surely happen again. Sometimes really painful, sometimes not. Is our body's response to let the mother know the baby will soon go out. If the blood would've been more and kept flowing then I had no other option than let your child be delivered today in any case not to risk... To protect you both."

"So this means we can go home now?" Blair asked, a new light in her eyes.

"The nurse will give you the name of the meds you should take if the ache comes back. But if you expel blood again... Come as soon as you can, Mrs Bass" she explained.

She grinned happily at the Doctor for have been calling her with her brand new surname, then looked at Chuck. The woman decided to give the newlyweds privacy so she left the room.

Chuck looked relieved. His smile was full of joy he couldn't hide. He tilted his head towards her a bit and kissed her smoothly. "Let's go home, Mrs Bass" he added, and Blair's smile widened. He liked that she loved being called with her new surname, and he would do that a lot from now on.

At home Blair freed herself from the dress she had on and decided perhaps to put on a nude slip. She wasn't that tired, she was more hungry than that. Chuck on the other hand looked like a sleepwalker with opened eyes. Blair never took an eye off him as he helped her every move although she was fine and wanted to prepare breakfast for herself alone. He let her do that after a small argument about her needing to lie down and rest, then Blair sent him off to their bedroom where she had promised would be in less than fifteen minutes to do something relaxing, hopefully sleep until lunch time.

Blair prepared something for him too and put everything on the small table and slowly climbed the stairs. She had to admit to herself he was right she was starting to feel tired again but she had given Dorota few days off because of the wedding so she had to do it. Once she reached the door of their room, a wide smile spread across her face. Chuck was fully asleep on his side of the bed with his mouth half open. He looked like an infant to her, and the sight of him blissfully asleep warmed her heart.

She left the small table on the carpet after sipping her orange juice and then crawled in bed next to him. She placed her head on his chest and felt his arm gripping her from behind. She didn't know if he was half awake, but she knew he was sensing her presence there and that's how she liked it.

….

For everyone; Blair's wedding dress: http : / / img171. Imageshack. Us / img171 / 6581 /14236352 . jpg :D (removed the spaces)

I was excited to make you read this chapter! Probably is what you expect. I went through a writer block with this fic because I started updating other two, but now I'm **kinda** back. I will try to focus on both stories so every thing will be updated in the right time.

Random but have you seen EL pics from the other day? * swoon * I am really excited for this new season! Hopefully we'll get what we want :D

Reviews are love :3


	10. Pink

As wrong as it was, Blair wanted to take off for the Hawaii anyway.

Her mother had thought that even if she had few irregular contractions every few days she didn't have to postpone her honeymoon.

_'It only happens once'_ she had told her daughter, although Cyrus and her father disapproved. They thought that going on honeymoon in that particular moment wasn't safe for Blair and the baby because there were high risks she could have to deliver the baby before the term. They were sure the contractions wouldn't stop sooner or later, she was in her eight month and everything was possible at that point. She and Chuck would have to rush to a Hospital at the Hawaii and seek help and bla bla bla.

Chuck disapproved too, and Blair wasn't blaming him for it.

He had exposed her the same options her father and Cyrus had, and came to the same conclusions. He didn't want her to risk and deliver their baby in a poor Hospital on an island. He wanted her to be monitored and have her gyno close to home so that if there would be another problem like the day they got married they could hurry up and being helped.

"Why not? I deserve my honeymoon!" she had exclaimed few days after the wedding.

Chuck had sighed and tried to focus on the project he was supervising.

"I don't think is right to do it now. Not after last week. I don't want to go far from New York and risk that the baby is delivered elsewhere."

"They have hospitals there, didn't you know?"

"Not of the type of quality you want."

Blair rolled her eyes. "Quality! Blasphemy." She crossed her arms on her chest. "What are you afraid of?"

He sighed again and barely turned to look at her. "I'm afraid for you and the baby, Blair. If is enough worry. I'd rather stay here and enjoy the city than go to the Hawaii and risk."

"You're using that word too much."

He raised an eyebrow.

"You're seriously worrying too much. I'm not gonna deliver our baby anytime soon and not while we're having our delicious honeymoon. I'm sure -"

"You can't be sure. You aren't mother nature."

"But I'll be a mother and I feel that this baby won't come out before the ending of September" she said with a bitchy face.

Chuck put the project he was looking at aside on the couch and stood up. "You can't control this. If the baby wants to come into the world, he'll sure won't ask you first. He could be delivered in this right moment too, if you'd start having contractions."

She put a hand on her belly and smoothed it lightly.

"But I don't" she nodded and got closer to Chuck. She put a hand on his shoulder and smiled. "Look, I know you're worried for us but it's okay. Nothing is gonna happen. I haven't had that much contractions since last week, this means I shouldn't worry. Plus, I haven't lost any more blood. Is this enough reason to be worried?"

Chuck bit his lip and looked away for a brief second. She was surely good at trying to convince him, but he couldn't let her doing it all the time. He was concerned for the situation and the fact that he wanted her to be safe should had been enough reason for her to stop asking to go on honeymoon.

He sighed audibly. "You know my answer."

Blair frowned and her expression changed. She suddenly enraged more than before and fumed. She kept glancing at him to try to change his mind with her glares, but Chuck decided he was better off the house to worry much about her next outburst.

She knew deep down he was right. Her father had also thought it was better to postpone the honeymoon, what was wrong in that after all. Instead of leaving few days after the wedding they would leave after the baby will be delivered, probably when he would be older enough to take him with them, around the ninth month perhaps?

She was exhausted to think about a solution so she left the room when Chuck went out and decided to take a nap. It wasn't over obviously.

….

"Hey man" a radiant Nate patted Chuck's shoulder in the afternoon.

Chuck had called his friend when he left the penthouse and told him he was coming over to his old suite at the Empire. He knew Nate was the perfect man to ask for advice, and he surely needed it. He didn't want to be rude to Blair and cancel their planned honeymoon and not try to give her something nice to replace it.

He smirked and sat down on the couch. "I'm glad you still haven't left" he told him. "I want my best friend in town for a little bit longer."

Nate smiled while preparing a glass of scotch for Chuck. He was staying at their old suite at the Empire while he was in New York.

"Well Jenny has to go to Alabama next week and Ohio then we'll be free. She's really having a great amount of proposals, you know."

Chuck nodded. "Oh I see... then you'll be back?"

"I'll be back for the end of September for sure. I need to be here when my nephew will be born... Is Blair alright?"

He smiled. "She's fine. Totally fine. That's the problem."

Nate took both glasses in his hands and reached Chuck on the couch. He gave him his scotch and he started drinking instantly. Maybe he really needed it.

"Isn't it awesome?"

Chuck sighed and looked at his glass. Nate hadn't caught his sarcasm. "She wants to leave for Hawaii, but I said no." He said in a whisper.

"Why would you? You've been planning this for two months. You looked so proud of this honeymoon, I'm surprised you want to call it off. What is stopping you, Chuck? Don't tell me something happened after last week." He asked with concern.

"Nothing happened since we went at the hospital, Nathaniel. Is just... you know, she's already gone to that place once because of the contractions, I don't want her to be stressed and do some efforts. She should try to rest and go shopping with Serena to distract. We should choose the name for the baby and finish the nursery and all the things we may need to do before our baby is born. We can't waste the time that's left to go on a stupid honeymoon."

Nate shook his head. "I get your point, man but I don't think going to Hawaii is going to cause problems for Blair. Is Summer, is hot. Blair is an excited pregnant woman who just wants to have fun with you on a beach with light sand and wear flowery necklaces..."

Chuck shook his head back.

"Then I'm going to take her to somewhere near. Furnish a room as if we were at the Hawaii and have fun there while we're close to the city."

His best friend seemed to smile at some point. "Why don't you take her to the Hamptons? You still have Bart's summer residence, have you?" He put a hand on Chuck's shoulder and seemed pleased with his idea. "You're not far from Manhattan and if something happens perhaps you can fastly get back. Blair can enjoy the beach and the pool."

"You do have a point, Nathaniel."

"I'm sure Blair will like it too. It sounds perfect to me."

Chuck nodded and then stood up. He finished his glass of scotch in one gulp and then smiled at his best friend.

"If by any chance she doesn't like it I'm gonna say it was your idea."

They both giggled and then Chuck finally left.

….

Five hours later Blair was cuddling in the limo with Chuck.

As Chuck imagined, Nate's idea was perfect. Blair hadn't argued to go to the Hawaii anymore but made Chuck promise her they'd go there with their baby boy in the future. He had obviously agreed, they will plan the honeymoon better in the next few months.

It hadn't been any difficult to convince Blair. When he had mentioned the Hamptons she had suddenly giggled like a little girl when she received a gift she liked.

She forced him to leave the same day so she would be pleased and happy again and above all, she would forgive him for not taking her where she wanted to spend a nice month.

She nuzzled her nose on his neck and Chuck rubbed his hand down her back, their bodies were touching and he could feel her belly on his leg. The baby had already kicked three times since they left Manhattan, he had counted them. He wasn't sure if the baby kicks were a sign he was happy to leave for the Hamptons or he was complaining they weren't going to Hawaii anymore.

Blair put her hand casually on his shoulder to grip on him and feel him more on her.

She wanted to have have sex with him again there during the ride, but then the thought was put aside by an annoying sense of tiredness. She blamed the pills her doctor had given her for that, they gave her headaches sometimes and feel as if she wanted to be in bed the whole day.

This was highly disturbing for someone like her that loved being active and go shopping or bake a cake or take care of the Palace hotel. She understood that it would come the moment when she had to stop and rest, but it was just too hard to accept.

Besides that annoyance, she felt as if a new force was rising inside her.

She was feeling less edgy and more horny everyday. Not that she hadn't been throughout the pregnancy, but once she reached the third trimester the sexual pull had become stronger and unbearable. She had been helpless when she had asked Chuck not to visit her for a month, often hiding in her bathroom to play on her body imagining it was him doing that to her.

It was embarrassing now to think about the ways she found to replace Chuck to feel sexual satisfaction. If she told him she was sure he would tell her he had been doing the same, he was so a man.

Now that Chuck was there with her and they were finally husband and wife, sex hadn't been on their to do list since two days before the wedding. They had managed to have sex after it but they couldn't because Blair had had contractions and they had to rush to the hospital, and since then they didn't even try again to do it.

Chuck had let her down every time she tried to seduce him. Once in a gauzed slip that left not too much to his imagination, and another time when she waited for him in bed with a sexy silk red bra and red silk thong by Agent Provocateur of which provocation had been a total fail.

She was angry because of this, that is the reason why she tried to convince him to go to Hawaii. She wanted them to get in bed and love each other, she needed him and he couldn't imagine how much.

In a way she thought Chuck was just being careful. The last time they were about to touch during sex she had had a contraction. She was aware Chuck didn't want to risk and let that happen again, but she was also aware a little foreplay perhaps wouldn't hurt anyone.

She didn't want to tell people who said after you marry you have sex less and less times, were right. It just wasn't in their genes after all.

She found herself buried in a California king bed when she woke up. She realized they were at Chuck's summer residence at the Hamptons already, but she couldn't figure out how did she get there on the bed.

She slowly opened her eyes to find a smiling Chuck beside her. His head was on his hand and he was pleasantly looking at her, clearly in awe of her.

"I had to take you here because you fell asleep" he explained in a whisper.

Blair rubbed her eye and yawned. "Did I fall asleep?" she asked, and he simply nodded.

He extended a hand to touch her cheek and sweetly run its back to caress her. "You've been sleeping for two hours so far. You looked tired for the ride."

She tried to sit down but she failed, so Chuck promptly sat down himself and helped her out. Damn, how she didn't love when he helped her every move. She wasn't a granny yet.

"Those pills will be the death of me" she said with annoyance looking around and appreciating the furniture of the bedroom. She didn't remember the room, but she thought it probably was Chuck's and he had asked to change it for them.

Chuck looked alarmed. "What, you need the pills? Where are them?" He tried to stand up unsure of what to do.

Blair took his hand before he could actually stand up.

"Chuck, stop."

He turned to her, clearly confused. "What's wrong?"

Blair snorted. "This _is_ wrong. All this whole let's help _Blairzilla_ to get out of bed, let's collect her clothes, let's find her pills, let's help her to pee... I'm sick of it. I don't want to be helped. I have two feet and two hands and they both function very well."

He smiled innocently and stroked her hand. "What's wrong with helping you? I do think -"

She shook her head in disapproval. "No no, stop what you were going to say. I know you want the best for me Chuck, but I am able to lower my panties to pee without your help."

"As if you even see your feet or your inner thigh when you pee" he shrugged.

Blair made a face and put a hand on her hip. "Then we have the same thing in common." She raised an eyebrow questioningly.

"What do you mean?"

She opened her mouth in disbelief. She knew Chuck was changing and trying to get better for her and their baby, but she was astonished he would miss her joke. She raised both eyebrows and looked down at her belly to focus back to Chuck's eyes.

"I'm not avoiding _that_ and you know it."

Blair raised her eyebrows again. "Aren't you? Spare me, Chuck." She rolled her eyes. "You are only concerned for my health and if I have contractions. You care if I eat or go to the bathroom and if I take my pills, but truth is you don't care about my desires."

His face hardened. "I can't see the flaw in that."

She shook her head. "Look, I appreciate the way you care about me. The way you hold me and try to keep me and the baby safe, but you shouldn't do it all the time. I am strong... I have a tough armor and right now I'm just too horny to pay attention." She winked at him.

Chuck looked at the nightstand and avoided her glance.

"I don't want to hurt you." He said with a lower voice.

"You won't." Blair tired to reassure him. She took his hand and placed it on her belly. "Stop playing Edward Cullen and make me feel alive. It's an order." She said adamantly.

He turned his face back to her and stroke her stomach lightly, then a tiny smirk appeared on his face. He put that hand on the nape of her neck and got closer. Their mouths met and they kissed vehemently. The kiss wasn't new to Blair since he hadn't stopped kissing her although he seemed he was kissing a porcelain doll more than a person sometimes. It seemed to her that he was trying to kiss her like he used to before they got married, with passion and desire. It was good to know he still wanted her.

His hand went to lower the straps of her summer flowery dress that he calmly tried to get off her. Her belly was a great obstacle for what he had to do, but eventually with her help the dress was soon under her legs and off her feet. He took few seconds after she freed herself to look at her body. She hadn't weirdly put a bra on under her dress. He was mesmerized by her breasts that looked bigger than few days before. He couldn't help but kiss there, his face evidently showing his emotions to her that she smiled pleased at the vision.

His body pressed gently against her tummy all the time as they tried to be careful enough.

Blair wasn't able to move much because of the ultra weight so they couldn't switch positions. They stayed most of the time cuddled on the side into each other's arms. He thrust in her at a slow pace but with abandon, trying to use his hands to stimulate other parts of her body.

Once he saw she stopped kissing him, he understood she was tired. She stroked her nose against his and slowly opened her eyes. He saw contentment in them, and since everything had gone just fine he decided to smile too. He hoped he didn't cause her any hurt or he wouldn't be able to forgive himself. From the look on her face he had been good.

She played with his hair as he smoothed her belly. "I should stop taking the pills" she said out of the blue." It looked as if their moment had been broken since Chuck frowned. "They make me feel so tired... so lifeless. I wanted this to go on" she confessed shyly.

He chuckled. "Do the pills work, don't they?" She nodded. "Then I can't see why you should stop taking them."

Blair rolled her eyes. "Because they make me feel _dead_. I don't want to pass the days left to the term resting in bed and watching movies and rest again because the pills made me sleep. I can't go past half a hour watching Sabrina that I wake up when the ending text comes on screen." She said a bit enraged. "I can't have sex with you that after few times I'm tired."

"You are almost nine months pregnant, Blair."

She smiled bitterly. "Well I can't wait for this baby to be born then" she said looking away from his face. "I will stop taking the pills." She repeated, but Chuck looked serious.

"Over my dead body."

Chuck of course tried to keep this other promise. Blair had to keep taking the pills or otherwise he would stop having sex with her whenever she wanted to. He would try to close his pants to her and keep her away from his lower body in spite of her behavior.

He thought she needed the pills to help the contractions that often shake her body. She couldn't just stop taking the pills, those were strong pills. Like any other pill she needed to gradually get rid of them so that she wouldn't suffer of withdrawal.

He carefully gave the pills to her and assured she had taken them. Blair didn't look pleased by this since he was in a way keeping both eyes on her and helping less of her moves now, but she was quite annoying by this anyway.

One night of two weeks or so after they'd gotten there at his summer residence, Blair decided to prepare a nice dinner by the swimming pool.

She called the catering while he was busy on the phone with some of his associates, and assured that he was away in his room looking at his mails or something regarding Bass Industries while she adjusted the flowers and the ornaments on the tiny table the servant they had in the residence had prepared.

"What the -" he said with surprise when he spotted the lights on in the pool and Blair standing still in a white sun dress that didn't go past her knees.

He got closer and felt a bit miserable in his khaki pants and a striped white and red polo.

She smiled widely when she saw him smirk.

He kissed her lips fleeting and their mouths curled in a grin once they recoiled few lengths back.

"You didn't have to, you shouldn't had. I don't deserve it." He complained.

Blair shook her head and gave him a faint slap on his cheek. "You deserve it more than I let you know, silly." She said as he grinned and looked down sheepishly. "And this looks like the perfect night for it. Thank the guys of the catering."

He licked his lips, longing. "If I tell you I'd take you instead of the dinner, would you mind?"

She blinked sensually at him. "I'm sure neither I or the baby would if you do."

"Then get ready to get wet."

It didn't take much time for them to skip dinner and get in the pool as soon as their lips touched again. Blair let go of her sun dress and freed him from his polo shirt. He didn't mind throw his short pants on the grass and jump in the pool with his boxers on.

Blair soon followed in her white bikini and diamond earrings, not jumping directly in the pool but using the stepladder as he eagerly waited for her few steps closer in the water.

She immersed for few seconds and then got back in his arms and they started kissing again.

Their kisses taste like tepid water and he was sure strawberry lip gloss. Their hands around each other's body entangled the lover as his hands worked on her lower body to stimulate her, and she did the same on his prominent erection.

She felt his member hard on her inner thigh although their bodies were underwater.

A sudden burn expanded in all that zone and she tightened her grip on him and she squeezed it out as if it was a toy. He moaned in response and kept kissing her mouth and neck and shoulders vehemently. They didn't want to rush and arrive to the penetration just yet.

Blair moaned as well once he gently stimulated her intimacy with his finger.

It felt both frustrating and intoxicating, she wasn't sure of her emotions since she was practically losing herself in his hands, and so was he.

When he finally got in her, she screamed his name as if he was steps away.

He looked at the dark sky of the night and screamed as well while his hands were holding her and he moved his feet to keep floating on the water.

They were both exhausted by the sex after a while, so he decided it was better if they collect their things and get out of the water. Plus, their hands had become wrinkled.

They both lied down on the chairs by the edges of the pool.

"I will miss doing it in the water" Blair murmured.

Chuck giggled. "Then I suggest we buy a jacuzzi."

Blair laughed as well, then kept looking straight in front of her.

"You know, these weeks have been wonderful. I can't believe next week we'll have to get back to Manhattan..." she said with a rather eerie tone and expression.

Chuck had noticed the change in her tone, he didn't want her to feel sad.

"If you want to stay here..." he started, and Blair suddenly turned and shook her head.

"I wanna go home. I wanna have our baby in the city, there in the hospital where my gyno is. I want to feel comforted and watched as Alexander here comes out." She said proudly as she smoothed her tummy.

He smiled and put a protectively hand on hers. Their eyes met and they felt happy for the moment.

They were silent for a little while and she noticed Chuck had drift off to sleep in his chair.

Blair had forgot to take her pill that day because Chuck had to run some errands in the morning and he didn't remember her, so she wasn't that tired to be honest.

She sighed and looked around her. The Hamptons were such a beautiful place to live and she wouldn't mind staying there until the end of the summer which was in less than twenty days, but they needed to get back home.

She had spent a great end of the season with her now husband, and she couldn't not look forward to the ending term of her pregnancy. She couldn't wait to see her baby boy and Chuck's first heir and to hold him close. She wanted to see how it would look like and feed him and dress him with the nicest baby clothing she had managed to find.

She hoped the baby would have a great bond with Chuck too. She didn't want his son to feel unattached to his father like she knew he had been with Bart. She knew he wouldn't act like his father and give the baby all the possible love in this world, but they weren't sure of how their baby would act towards him, if they'd get along... she felt so stupid for thinking about that and the future and all the things she still didn't know. She had to be patient and see.

Blair had agreed to leave the Hamptons on the second week of September.

People were starting to leave the place as their holidays had come to an end, so the place had become quite boring although she barely got out of the house.

She loved to spend the time inside talking with Chuck or cuddling. They played games on a blanket in the garden or eat ice cream sat on a deckchair. They often had sex which satisfied Blair a lot, and swam in the pool. Sadly swimming wasn't possible that much during the last few days, but they barely cared.

The servants put all of their luggage in the limo, and after Chuck had paid them the limo took off.

Blair was on her own looking outside the window. Chuck wasn't that much worried for her, but he was curious to ask if she was feeling sad to leave.

"I wouldn't leave if it was up to me" she said at some point, they were almost arrived. "But I realized summer is over, and we should move on." She turned to Chuck and smiled.

Chuck smiled back and squeezed her hand. "We'll come back next year with Alexander" he suggested, and she smiled widely at the words. "He's going to run on the grass and we'll take him in the pool to swim with us." He started to imagine things.

She seemed pleased by the reverie. "Hopefully our baby will start walking before he is one year old" she shrugged lightly. "Then he'd ruin the walls with his colored pencils" she rolled her eyes at the thought.

"Then we'll baby-proof the place" he said, and Blair nodded.

She turned to look at the window again while Chuck glanced at his phone. Apparently he had an appointment with some people from England the day after. They were going to meet with the board for a project he was so eager to show to his associates.

"I wonder how our baby will look like" she said out of the blue after a while.

Chuck didn't answer at first. He started to get lost in his own thoughts of the baby and the face he could have. He wondered why he'd never thought of that before then, probably because the baby was a truth but still not a reality. He was still in Blair's stomach and only God knew when it would be delivered.

"I mean I'm sure he's going to be beautiful" Blair continued. "But I don't know. The eyes, the nose and the hair. His tiny hands and feet."

"However he will be we'll love him." He said with glee.

She smiled and leaned closer for a quick kiss.

They weren't that far from their penthouse and already in the city when Blair moaned.

Chuck suddenly turned by the noise and she was looking at the floor with fear. He was going to ask if she was okay, but then noticed why she looked so worried.

"Your waters broke?"

She nodded and her hands went on her belly, smoothing it lightly. He got closer and sat on the floor to inspect her. Her yellow dress was practically drenched and he knew they had to hurry for the hospital or either the baby would be delivered in the limo. He asked the driver to hurry and surpass the cars of New York traffic, but he clearly couldn't. It was the rush hour, and the limo couldn't clearly fly.

He took his phone out as Blair wailed and called the gyno. She wasn't that far and if the driver actually found a place to park the car, they would wait for her there.

"Crap, answer." He said angrily until the woman answered. "Look this is Chuck Bass. I don't have time to talk now. You need to reach us in the Upper West Side because my wife is about to have her baby" he explained in a rush, his voice unstable and his other hand gripping Blair's. "No I don't care you're busy and in another state, we need you to help this baby out! I'd give you a house in the Hamptons if you come." He kept talking as Blair started sweating. "No, I have no fucking idea how to deliver a baby! I won't. You are the doctor. Don't tell me what I should do. It's your job!"

Blair moaned loudly in the traffic. "Please Chuck if she can't hang on... And help me with this. Oh my God!"

"What do you say she should inhale and exhale?" he asked on the phone then turned to Blair and she started doing it. She could recall seeing it in a lot of movies and she tried. It was better than nothing. "Good Blair, good" he commented while she squeezed his hand tightly. "What now? What now?" he asked to the phone but received no answer. "What the heck!"

"Chuck close that phone and help me" she said, and since there wasn't any battery left on his phone, he closed it. "I'll push. You need to help me get the baby out of there. NOW!" she exclaimed with rage as she pushed hard and kept screaming in the limo.

Chuck raised her skirt and turned on the lights of the vehicle. He couldn't see perfectly so he suggested Blair to lie down on her back so that he could see better and give her a help. He couldn't believe what was happening and why was happening there. Seriously, of all the time the baby had to be delivered, he decided to get out in that exact moment?

"Keep pushing, I see something" he told her, and she did as asked. "Now I see something brown and it's not the hair of your inner thigh." He said and she gave him a smack on his head. "Ouch" he complained, then tried to work his hands in between her legs.

Blair kept pushing for other fifteen minutes as they were still stuck in the traffic.

"Chuck! Chuck! Chuck!" she screamed once and he thought he had hurt her. "I hate you so much it hurts! I'll kill you once I'm – Chuck!" she kept screaming as he tried to focus on her inner thigh. "You disgusting human being who got me pregnant!"

He rolled his eyes and let her scream all that she wanted. "I can see the head, let me touch the head" he told her while she kept pushing and insulting him. "He's going out, oh my God" he said in a sigh with a trembling voice. "Push! One or two times. The baby is almost out!"

"I hate your guts!" she said as she pushed few other times.

Chuck could see the baby's head now and he only had to push him more out. "Two times, Blair. Two times! Last strive! Come on baby, get out of daddy's favorite place!" he incited her as the baby was half out of her. It looked so weird and at the same time so exciting.

Blair gave one last, aching push as he managed to let the baby out. He started crying loudly and the sight of it finally there in his arms made him smile. Blair collapsed back on her seat, droplets of sweat on her face and on her whole body as she tried to get herself together again. She was tired as she had never been.

Chuck held the baby by the feet and slapped the butt lightly, as he knew it was used to do after a delivery, and the baby started crying more loudly. He turned with the baby still in his arms and told Blair to wait a second. He took the towel that wrapped a bottle of champagne not far from him and wrapped it around the baby. Then he took the scissors from the cabinet of the limo and cut the umbilical cord. Watching many shows set at hospitals really helped him in that moment, as much as it was lame to say.

He finally looked at Blair and saw her already trying to bond with the baby that meanwhile had stopped crying. He leaned closer and started to look at the little infant in his wife's hands and couldn't help but smile like a stupid.

"Alexandra is so beautiful" Blair said with a lovely voice.

Chuck frowned and looked confused. "What did you just call my son?"

She giggled happily and smiled widely at him. "She's a girl, Chuck." She informed him proudly and removed the towel a bit to let him see. He smiled in response.

"Hello baby girl" he said with a sweet voice and touched the baby's nose. "Welcome to our world."

….

I hope you liked this chapter. I couldn't wait the more for the baby to be born. I hope you like the name as well, I've always told myself that if CB have a baby he/she should be named Alexandra or Alexander. More details about the baby and more fluff in the next chapter. Comments are appreciated! :)


	11. Marigold

Let me start with thanking **ellibells** and her comment. I was unaware of that delivery thing since I'm not very familiar with the medical world (I dread it a bit haha). I will correct that exact part of the chapter :)

I also wanted to thank the people who leave me comments and have added this story to their faves. It's hard for me to write sometimes because I have no idea if people will appreciate what I write, and this fanfiction has proved me many things, also a lot of things concerning my English in particular, since I remind you I'm just a student who loves to write in a language that's not hers. Lol

No more ramblings though, I'll leave you to the chapter. :P

….

Two hours later they had managed to get to the hospital.

The nurses couldn't believe how the baby had been delivered in a car with air conditioner, and in the traffic of New York by no less than Chuck Bass. He already was on everyone's mouth because of his business, this would give him and Blair more publicity.

Blair's gyno wasn't there to check on the baby when they reached the building, but there was her partner and she complimented Chuck for his work. V_ery well done for someone who doesn't do this for life_, she had said.

The woman sent them to the maternity ward where they had to stay at least for one day for exams, then they were free to go to their penthouse and enjoy their baby.

They still hadn't called anyone, but they were sure Gossip Girl wouldn't miss the chance to inform people on her website. Blair had received a text on her phone already and decided to let Chuck read it for her. She was tired and didn't want to bother and roll her eyes at what the blogger may had said.

"She congratulated" Chuck said after he put Blair's phone away. "Of course she wants to have a picture of our baby soon." He added.

Blair yawned and wiped away a bit of sweat off her neck. "That can wait... neither our friends do know. Call my mother, please?"

He half smiled and took Blair's phone again since his was dead and went out of the room. He decided to leave Blair alone for five minutes. She was still confused and maybe shocked by what had happened in the morning. She had expected to get back home and relax perhaps on their bed and play something dirty, instead she delivered a baby in a limousine. That sounded like irony to her.

Chuck on the other hand looked calm. He kept smiling randomly at the thought of his baby and the fact that he helped her out. He couldn't grasp what he had just done... It was simply amazing and unpredictable.

He couldn't wait until they would take Alexandra back in the room with Blair so he could take a closer look to his pretty daughter.

He swore she had his eyes although baby's eyes can change color until they are around twelve months old. The hair were totally Blair's. No curls, but dark thick hair. He was pleased that the baby already had so much hair at only one day of life.

He closed the call with Lily after he hadn't managed to find Eleanor and Cyrus and Harold, and got back inside Blair's room.

She was silent on the bed, had gotten asleep for the tiredness.

He smiled at her and then sat down on the chair next to the window. He checked his wristwatch to see it was still four o' clock. Visitors were allowed starting from 6pm, so they had time to spend for themselves till then. He decided he might as well sleep too.

Once Chuck woke up, he rubbed his eyes and saw Blair was up and not alone.

She was sitting on the bed, legs crossed, and the baby was in her arms, feeding.

Blair turned to him once she noticed he had woken up and suggested him to go there and see the baby feeding on her, perhaps a good occasion to start bonding with the baby.

He sat next to her on the bed, right where he could look at the baby sucking.

"This is her first meal" Blair commented. "It's been ten minutes already."

"How many time it takes to feed her?"

Blair sighed. "I guess until she doesn't want milk anymore."

He didn't know what to really say. He wasn't sure why his curiosity did want to have the best of him at the moment or he was just half asleep to function properly.

The baby stopped feeding five minutes later. Apparently she was done sucking Blair's nipple and closed her little eyes a bit after she was removed from her breast. He was sure now the baby wanted to sleep, milk was soporific for little babies.

"Why don't you take her?" Blair asked after she fixed her pajamas.

Chuck looked unsure of her question, but he decided to give it a try. This would be the first time he ever held his daughter after the delivery. He felt so emotional about it that his arms were trembling a bit after Blair passed him the baby.

He looked at the tiny infant in his arms and acknowledged what he thought was true.

She had dark hair. They were so dark that they looked even darker than Blair's. Her eyes were half closed but they looked dark as well. Her head was so tiny and he was trying to hold it with his left hand, and her nose was so sweet that he just wanted to kiss it forever. But the hands and the feet were in his opinion the best features of the baby. They looked so perfect in their smallness. He touched the baby's hand and then kissed her forehead as lightly as he could.

The baby opened her eyes more when he did that. He wondered if she could sense him there and feel the love he had in his heart for her, so tiny yet already much loved.

Blair was looking the scene in awe and thought she was about to cry. He knew he would start to be a father since the baby's first cry, but those were thoughts. Now that Alexandra was there in his arms her dreams could become true.

"My baby is so beautiful" he commented.

"She totally is. I wonder where did she take all of her charm" she smirked.

He giggled. "I guess her mother is pretty good at attracting all of the lights on her, that's probably the secret formula."

"But her father has the charisma" she smiled at him.

He lowered his head shyly. "Right. I got the charisma and you got the charm. Pretty sure she's also smart." He said and caressed the baby's cheek lightly. "She'll start saying _daddy_ very soon, and she'll walk before she's one year old."

Blair made a face. "Daddy? Mommy will be her first word, true dear?" She asked, but the baby remained still.

"She's feel asleep."

Blair moved closer to see the baby's eyes closed. "She can't fall asleep, her grandma and grandpa are going to visit soon." She said with irrational anxiety and tried to take Alexandra from Chuck's hands. He tried his best not to pass the baby.

"Do you want to control the life of the baby already, Blair? Let her sleep."

Blair didn't answer and looked away, clearly disappointed. She didn't know why she had raised her voice to ask for the baby to be awake. She wasn't a doll and above all she couldn't control when she ate or slept or wanted to pee.

She turned towards Chuck and noticed his eyes on her.

"I am so inconsiderate" she admitted with a hint of sadness.

"You sure you don't need more sleep? I'll look after the baby."

Blair shook her head. "I am okay. I probably... just want people to see the baby awake. Is probably because I barely slept if not on this bed."

He extended a hand to touch her cheek. "Have you suffered for the heat last night?"

She frowned and looked down. She knew she had to confess him the truth. She wasn't sleepy because she hadn't slept that night, she hadn't slept because... "I had strong contractions last night. Really painful ones."

"But you got the pills." He assumed, looking at her with seriousness, but Blair bit her lip. "I guess you hadn't taken those, then. What was on your mind? They were to help the pain go away." He said with a rather fatherly tone neither Harold had ever used in his life.

Blair rubbed her eye. "I stopped taking them a while ago, okay?"

"That's why you were so pumped in bed at night... too much energy without the pills that took it from you. You could had avoided a lot of pain if you hadn't stopped taking them."

She rolled her eyes. "I'd rather stay awake and be with you than feel a stomachache."

He shook his head and focused on the baby. He realized he couldn't argue with Blair right now when they were supposed to be happy and joyful for the birth of their daughter. The pills weren't anymore important as she had finally delivered, so he decided not to blame her for the fact that she hadn't taken them during the last few days they had been at the Hamptons.

He imagined Blair was tired already because of the weight she had to carry for all those nine months. She had to manage the business of the Palace too and run some errands for her mother's group while she was in Paris with Cyrus.

If he thought about it, Blair was great for working that hard although she was pregnant. He thought she was amazing, another woman wouldn't have been able to do the same.

He needed to trust her.

They kept themselves silent and Blair got up and tried to be more presentable as the clock had tick 6pm. Their parents would be there soon and she didn't want to have bags under her eyes and unruled hair, as much as she was justified for it.

Chuck was left alone with the baby while Blair looked at herself in the bathroom and took a quick shower.

The baby was asleep and he didn't want her to wake up. He couldn't take his eyes off her while he sat on the armchair in the corner. She was so beautiful, and he wasn't just thinking that because it was his daughter. The baby had a porcelain face and she was so tiny... she looked quite like a doll, a rare one. He knew the baby was a mix of him and Blair, but Alexandra totally had her mother's nose and small eyebrows, even if it was too early to say it. Her lips were pouty while she slept in the dead silence of the room. She looked so defenseless.

Once Blair came back in the room, Eleanor and Cyrus had just arrived. It looked like Lily had called them after Chuck had called her and told them the news. They had brought cookies and flowers and a pink pacifier for Alexandra. It would be the very first one she would have.

Blair had managed to smell good and changed into a more presentable pajamas.

"Let me hold her, Charles" she asked, approaching Chuck. He passed the baby carefully to her and she smiled like a little girl. "She looks like an angel" she said as she caressed the baby's cheek trying not to wake her up. "I can't tell who she resembles the most."

"To me she does look like her father more" Cyrus interjected and made weird faces at the baby as Blair exchanged a look with Chuck. "See the lips? They look just like his."

Eleanor frowned. "Nah, they look just like Blair's. Look at those cheeks!"

"Who cares who she looks more like? Let's appreciate her beauty!" Cyrus said gleefully.

Chuck from his armchair rolled his eyes and turned to Blair. She had been looking around on a random point of the wall, as if she was in another dimension and space. He was worried something was wrong with her. She already said she was sleepy and tired and probably her bones hurt. Perhaps she didn't want her parents there?

He stood up and reached the bed where she was sitting. He put an arm on her shoulder and she looked at him and smiled while Eleanor and Cyrus walked towards the window to look closely at the baby in the sunlight.

"You okay?" he asked with concern. "Want to take a walk?"

Blair nodded and they decided to remain the baby with her grandparents.

They went where there was a small balcony and no one around. Chuck thought Blair wanted to be alone with him and no noise.

She looked outside with eerie. "I feel so weird... so out of place."

"Out of place?"

She bit her lip and nodded. "I don't feel I am good enough to take care of the baby. I... am not ready yet. I thought I was because I've wanted her to be born since after we get married, but now I feel so confused on what to do and my mother seems better than me..."

He moved closer and placed an arm on her shoulders. "Shh. Don't say that. She is only five hours old. You're gonna get used to it. You and me." He kissed her cheek swiftly as he felt a tear on his mouth. "And she's going to appreciate you because you were the one that gave her life. Never forget how strong you are, Blair."

"I highly doubt that." She murmured.

"Don't ever say that."

"I saw when you had it in your arms. And in my mother's."

Chuck shook his head in disapproval. He didn't want her to be jealous of him because of the baby. The fact that he had been good with her didn't mean he couldn't misstep in the future.

"It was coincidence, Blair. I just did what my fatherly instinct suggested me, just like your maternal one does. You're going to be great, trust me. And as for Eleanor, she is your mother. It's obvious she has more experience than you and me both." He stroked her back but she avoided to look at him. "Why we don't go back in your room and show your mother how good you can take care of our daughter?" He suggested with a smile.

Blair barely smiled him back, but decided to accept the suggestion and got back where her parents were, hand in hand with Chuck.

Meanwhile they had their brief comforting session out of the room, Lily and Rufus had also arrived. They had brought chocolates with them, and some things for the baby.

"Blair, you look wonderful." Lily hugged her now stepdaughter.

"Isn't there sweat in my hair?" she asked, trying to be funny.

Lily laughed. "Seriously, I wasn't this great after I had Serena. You can ask her next time, I never miss to tell that story."

Everyone laughed and Chuck squeezed Blair's hand. She smiled back at him and tried not to think about her fears. She went where Eleanor was on the bed and sat down in the center while Lily and Rufus were looking at the baby.

"She's so beautiful, I have not words to describe this miracle." Lily smiled at the baby while Rufus mumbled something helplessly.

The parents kept staring at the baby and made all weird noises to her until it was time for the visitors to go home. Eleanor and Cyrus had congratulated again with the couple and seemed so happy they had a granddaughter now. Lily and Rufus on the other hand were really silent and tried not to wake the baby that was still asleep.

Once alone, Blair sighed with relief and put down the baby in her crib, while Chuck was looking out of the window casually.

"It's 8pm and the sun is already setting. Time flies."

"Yeah." She answered with not much conviction. "I remember the night I found out I was pregnant... the worst day of my life." She confessed with sadness and he turned slowly, kinda surprised by the revelation. He frowned but didn't ask more. "I thought you didn't want this baby. That it was too early to be parents and that you wanted to be with me, but with no kids. I don't know, I have daydreamed about having kids with you but since we never crossed the argument before I told you I was pregnant, I had no idea how you would have reacted."

Chuck's features relaxed. "I've always wanted a baby with you, to be honest. You just didn't know." He said as he walked near Alexandra's crib and looked down. "I on the other hand thought you wanted to pursue a career and then have a baby."

"Apparently we both were unaware we had wishes we wanted to fulfill."

He smiled at her and she smiled back, then his eyes went on the baby again. She looked like she wanted to wake up because she moved her tiny lips as if she was sucking. The image was so sweet and hilarious at the same time.

"Do you have any particular wish right now?" he asked.

Blair bit her lip and seemed to think about it for a while. She wasn't sure what to say, but she decided for the first thing that come to her mind. "Can I have a box of macaroons?"

….

Two days later Chuck and Blair and their baby got back to the penthouse.

The nursery for the baby was finished although the baby was born two weeks before the term. Thankfully, they had wanted the workmen to finish the room early so the only thing they would have to do would be buying clothes, diapers, and things like that. The room was shaping for a baby boy, but thanks to Chuck's choice to paint it lilac it would be okay for a girl too. The clothes they had already bought wouldn't, though. Blair had bought some tiny trousers and shirts, and also bow ties for the baby although she knew if the baby was a boy he couldn't wear them before he was 5 months old. Boy clothes had to now be substituted with dresses, stockings and headbands for the future when they wouldn't have to be careful because of the fountain on the baby's head. Babygros could instead be kept.

Chuck carried Blair's bags as she walked out of the elevator with the stroller. Alexandra was asleep and hadn't woken up yet to be feed. He put the bags on the floor and then walked upstairs while Blair pushed the stroller towards the couch and sat down, a sonorous sigh followed. The baby started crying so Blair had to pick her up.

She looked at the baby. She still hadn't got over the compliments for her, she was truly beautiful. She opened her blouse and put away the pacifier from the baby's mouth and put the baby near her nipple to let her suck. She didn't want to at first, but then the baby attached to it and silence fell on the room again.

Blair kept looking as Alexandra's tiny hands cupped her breast. "You're just like your father... you love to suck my nipples."

"What does her father like to do?" Chuck asked as he went down the stairs.

She rolled her eyes with amusement and turned to the baby again. Chuck meanwhile had reached the couch and sat down next to her to watch. He had been doing that for the two days old Alexandra was. Not all the times because he had also decided to left the hospital while the baby was in the room with the other babies and when Blair was asleep, but he could tell he loved watching this. Not much because Blair had to get undressed on the top of her body, but because the show was fascinating. He thought he had never seen something like that before.

The elevator's door opened few minutes later and a Serena walked in the foyer. She could only see Blair and the baby the day before yesterday for few minutes since she had errands to run.

"Where's my niece? There she is!" She giggled as she noticed Blair nursing her.

"Wait until she's done eating, Serena." Blair said when her best friend extended her hands as if she wanted to take the baby.

"I'm glad you are finally home! It will be easier to visit now since I can come when I want." She said as Chuck frowned and Blair made a face. "And by the way, I could not come with anything for Lexie!" She continued as Chuck and Blair looked at each other.

Blair raised an eyebrow. "What did you bring for her? I hope it's some clothing. We're running out of those since we believed Alexandra was a he -"

"Surprise!" The bell of the elevator rang again and a big white bear got in the house.

"Ta-da!" Serena clapped her hands gleefully.

"You didn't say Humphrey was going to come, Serena!" Blair complained as she tried to carefully remove the baby from her breast. "Don't look, Humphrey." She ordered when the guy arrived few paces from the couch. She successfully removed Alexandra from her breast and the baby of course started crying. She tried to calm her down by putting her on her chest and supported her baby's head so that she could burp. She had already put a towel on her shoulder to avoid the baby spitting up on her Elie Saab shirt. She tried to close the blouse but she obviously couldn't because the baby would have fallen, so Chuck helped her.

"You can watch now, Dan." Serena informed him. Dan put the big teddy bear on the couch and wiped the sweat he had on his forehead with his hand, making Blair uncomfortable.

"Thank you for bringing us a tinier version of Nate, Serena." Blair said.

Serena looked skeptical. "You're welcome... uhm how you are you by the way?"

Blair was lucky she had changed subject. "Wonderful, amazing, ecstatic."

Serena smiled widely. "It's so nice to see her finally here. I really hoped she would be a girl."

"Me too! Now we can enjoy her. I think it will be easy."

"If you think so then you have no idea how to be a mother already... I guess." Dan interjected a bit rudely. Blair started to frown and also Chuck. "Being a mother is hard. The baby will wake up in the middle of the night and you can't help by standing up from your bed and calm her down so that she will fall asleep again. Some days she will cry for hours during the day and there won't be any solution to that."

"I didn't take you as a mother, Humphrey." Chuck said bitterly before Blair could say anything.

"I'm not... just saying that. If you recall I thought I had a baby before Georgina told me it wasn't mine. I had to take care for that baby when she wasn't home, and believe me if I say it was hard. I was lucky enough if my father and Lily could look after him at noon."

As Dan talked Blair looked away from where she was. She wasn't sure what she was looking, but one thing was clear. As much as she wasn't friends with Dan, he had experience with babies while she didn't. Even Dan would be a better mother than her.

She turned to Serena and smiled, then she faked a yawn. "Since I haven't slept right in the hospital bed these two days, can you please leave soon? The baby needs to nap and so do I."

Serena shrugged and Dan shook his head. "Sure, B. We'll come over tomorrow if it's okay with you."

Blair looked at her her baby that was slowly falling asleep again, and Chuck nodded to his stepsister until she and Dan left the penthouse.

When they were left alone again, Alexandra had dozed off.

"Can you take her, please? I need to go to the bathroom." Blair said as she passed the baby to Chuck and literally run off upstairs.

Chuck stood up, then. "I think you need to sleep in your crib now." He started to murmur to the baby. "First night in your crib at your house. Aren't you excited?" He asked the sleepy baby when they reached the nursery, aka the room on the left of theirs.

He removed the tiny sheets and placed the baby carefully under them. The sight made him smile, but his grin disappeared as soon as he heard someone crying in the same room.

He knew it was Blair. He had felt it when Dan had said all those things about parenting your child. She already had a little breakdown at the hospital the day Alexandra was born, he thought this had to do with his stepsister's boyfriend. Dan had been right but also so inconsiderate. Blair had just delivered their baby and was frail, she was happy but also too much tired.

He decided not to go to the bathroom of the nursery to check on her. He knew she didn't want him to see her cry.

….

The baby started crying as soon as he fell asleep, or so he thought. He looked at the clock on the nightstand and saw it was around 4 in the morning. Last time he had checked it was 10, so he was lucky he had been sleeping for six hours at least.

He looked at Blair. She was asleep and he wanted to let her rest, but the baby was probably hungry and he sure couldn't do anything to help her. He sat down and yawned and was about to touch Blair's shoulder when she turned to him and looked in his eyes. He could tell she hadn't slept much, she looked like someone who had insomnia.

"Baby" he whispered.

She nodded. "I know." She said as she removed the covers and got off bed, towards the nursery. Chuck followed her, and when he arrived she had already took Alexandra in her arms and was opening her nightgown to let the baby feed on her breast.

He remained next to the door frame, unsure whether to enter or not. It wasn't that he was of help, but he would love to help for something. Let Blair do all the job for the baby was ego.

She didn't even look at him when she spoke again. "Go to bed, Chuck."

"I wanna stay."

"What for? She does this three times a day and she will do it for at least six months. You won't miss it for sure." Blair answered with a stressed tone.

He sighed. "I want to be of help. Change her diaper later, so you can go to bed while I do it."

Blair looked at the baby again. "I can handle that. You have work tomorrow. Go sleep."

"Alright." He decided, he didn't want to argue that night, he wasn't really in the mood. He looked one last time at Blair and the baby and then got back in his bed.

Next day and next week, everything went on the same way. The baby would wake early in the morning to be feed, and Blair would get up to give her milk. He would get up too, but she would tell him to get out of the nursery. The baby would wake around 10am if they were lucky, and Blair would do every thing alone again. Only times he could change diapers or change the baby into fresh clothes were when Blair was taking a shower or was busy with Serena or her mother. Of course she would yell when he would do that, and he would try not to argue with her, but in those last two days it had been impossible.

"Why did you put that thing on the baby!" she had looked bewildered. "That red onesie just doesn't match my pencil skirt and white blouse."

"Do they have to match necessarily, Blair? Is just a onesie, she's not even going out yet."

"Who cares she isn't? I'd love my baby to be fashionable like her mom. Give it to me" she said and took the baby from Chuck and put it on the changing-table and then started opening the clothing. "You will look so beautiful with your white stockings and shirt! And a tiny pink skirt like the one your mother is wearing!" She said to the baby while giggling as Chuck looked at the scene from afar. "You weren't as pretty with the thing your father had put you in" she shook her head. "He doesn't have your mommy sense of style for clothes."

Blair kept talking to the baby until she had finished while Chuck rolled his eyes. She put a pacifier in the baby's mouth and started to cuddle her until Alexandra fell asleep. It had been passed around twenty minutes from when she had found Chuck with the baby, and he still hadn't moved an inch to leave the room.

She turned when she put Alexandra in her crib, looking at Chuck questioningly.

"What?"

"I thought you had left." Blair answered with a hand on her hip.

Chuck raised both eyebrows. "I may remind you that is also my baby?"

"She's sleeping now. We shouldn't disturb her."

"Oh, really. What a pity" he said with sarcasm. "As if I had the chance to hold her or change her sometimes."

"You hold her, Chuck. And change her diaper occasionally, you-"

He smirked viciously. "Yes, I hold her. Always when you have to take care of you and there's no other person that can look at her. I can't hold her when she's awake since you have all your attention set on her. I can't watch you feed her because this time you _feel_ watched. I can't change her diapers because probably well, you think it's not my job. I can't dress her because she has to match with you."

"This is nonsense."

"Nonsense, Blair? I should be her father but all I feel I am is a surrogate dad."

Blair shook her head. "You're being the perfect father. Letting do the mom what she has to nurse and cure her baby. Playing your part and watch when I do the job that mother nature gave to me as a mother myself."

He passed his hand on his eyes and rubbed them. "You shouldn't do every thing... that's why I'm here. I want to help you, I want to pass more time with my baby."

"But you do! By doing what you are doing."

"That is practically nothing" he sighed. "Look, I know that you're trying to be the perfect mother. But she's also my daughter and I want to take her of her too. Maybe now not feed her since I can't, but do other things. Do my part. I feel so... put aside."

Blair made a face. She looked incredulous. "You never change. I can't believe you are thinking about sex now."

"I didn't mean put aside as not sleeping with my wife for long. You know what I wanted to say. You're just too stubborn to realize you're trying to do everything for Alexandra so that Humphrey will see how a good mother you are. We both know how he doesn't think we can be good parents, but only together we can prove him wrong."

She crossed her arms on her chest. "You can't be serious."

"You can't be in denial either."

"What do you want, Chuck?"

"Just be my baby's father. Play my part. So that you can rest." He said as he approached her and put his hand on her shoulder. "You haven't slept very well since Alexandra was born. Let me be of help and don't let me be useless."

"I don't need to rest. I'm pretty relaxed. While you're pretty boring."

Chuck sighed again and recoiled back. "Then I guess it's okay I go in an empty guest room and do my job? I have plenty but I was really happy to give it to my assistant so I could have been with my family. Guess what, whatever. Have a good night, Blair. Don't wait for me awake. I'll be sleeping in one of the bedrooms." She watched as he walked away out of the room and closed the door shut behind him.

She knew she was probably doing too much for the baby while she could ask Chuck or Dorota for help, but she felt it was the best thing to do. She was the baby's mother and hence she had to take care of her before anyone else.

She turned and looked at the baby in the crib before she headed for the bed. It was still eight in the evening but she felt like it was the right time to sleep. The baby would be awake in less than five hours and she had to be ready to feed her. She couldn't let anyone down, she had to be on top to let everyone see how a good mommy she was, even if it meant having a messed up sleeping and eating pattern.

She crawled under the covers with her clothes of that day on and looked at the window on her side. The sun had set one hour before and summer had ended not so long ago, so every day seemed shorter than the previous.

She sighed silently and then felt the tears coming.

Everything was fine but nothing was in order.

…

Sorry for this late update, but this is not a happy period for my family. My mom has been four times at the hospital this past month and it will take long until she's going to be fine. I'm not gonna give up on this fic of course, but some chapters will be delayed.

I hope you don't mind my choice of Blair getting obsessed over the baby. My idea is that she doesn't want to be like her mother and wants to give her baby the best. She also doesn't want others to think she's not good enough to be a parent, that's why she tries to be a super mom and she's putting Chuck aside. She believes she can do everything for the baby, but well as you may guess she will soon realize life doesn't go exactly like this.

Comments are love, see you soon ;)


	12. Purple Carnation

She woke as soon as she felt someone on the bed next to her. She thought it was Chuck and was about to smile, but was annoyed Dorota was there instead.

"Dorota -" she started to say, but the maid stopped her.

"Miss Alexandra is sleeping again. Don't talk loud."

At the words Blair sat down on the bed and noticed it was day now. She looked at the nightstand to see that it was actually two in the afternoon. She passed a hand through her hair and was about to crawl off bed if it wasn't for Dorota's hand stopping her.

"Baby okay. Cried all morning when I went here change rooms. I cradled baby to let her fall asleep again. Had no idea if you had baby milk anywhere miss Blair, so baby don't eat."

"Crap" she murmured under her breath as she tried to let go of Dorota's grip. "The baby hasn't eaten since yesterday evening. She'd be starving by now!" She said as she run into the nursery, followed by the maid. She picked the baby up from the crib and she fastly woke up and started to cry, so she rushed to the couch and opened her blouse and bra to let her feed.

She caressed the baby's cheek as she felt the baby sucking harder than she ever did.

"I was right saying you were starving, dear. Look at how you're racking mommy's nipple" she giggled and bit her lip because of the hurting. "I promise it won't happen again, okay?"

"Baby just hungry. You should buy thing to pump milk or baby formula so that when you sleeping Mr Chuck can give bib to the baby."

Blair raised her head and glared at Dorota. "I'm not gonna give her fake milk. I'm gonna nurse my baby with my own milk."

Dorota seemed disappointed. "But Miss Blair you need rest. Be mommy is difficult. Anastasia never let us sleep, Vanya had headaches and I were sleepy all the time. And it were two of us, Miss Blair! Sure Mr Chuck is more lively than Vanya, but baby make parents tired. Both. But I am sure Mr Chuck will help you change baby."

"Why are you always mentioning Mr Chuck? He can't help. He's a man, and he doesn't have any milk. I bet he would be amused to have boobs, but that is not exactly the case" she rolled her eyes at the thought. "Don't say that again. I will be the only one giving milk to the baby, change her clothes, diapers and stuff like that. Is that clear?"

The maid looked intimidated and shrugged before leaving the room.

Blair's anger faded as soon as Dorota closed the door, but she had to admit this was the second person telling her the same things Chuck did.

It took both parents to take care of the baby since the baby made her so tired alone.

The fact that she had been sleeping for hours and didn't listen to the baby crying during the night and the day meant much. She was so tired, but she didn't want to admit it.

"I wonder why your father wants you so bad... I mean, he's always wanted you. But he wants you now more than when you were in me. He wants to change your diapers and well, I know him and he would be disgusted by the smell. I just can't picture him doing that. But he has done it before, right? I've left you with him for few minutes and you were still here and beautiful, and safe. What he could possibly do wrong to you? Why am I so afraid?"

"Of what or whom are you afraid?"

Blair raised her head from the baby and looked at the person standing next to the door frame. Flowers in one hand, some plushes in a bag in the other. She saddened a bit when it wasn't who she expectedto be.

"Nate" she smiled at him, but he didn't get in the room yet.

He frowned. "Are you nursing? I should probably wait downstairs." He said looking down.

"Come on, you've seen them many times" she joked. "But sit down there so that if somebody comes it won't seem we just had an affair in my baby's nursery."

Nate sat down on the bed opposite to her. "Wow, is this bed... for the baby? She's not even one month old!"

"We like to think ahead" she said with pride.

Nate nodded. "Oh yeah. Where's Chuck? Is he back to work?"

"Haven't you seen him around?" she asked, hopeful that Nate may had met Chuck somewhere in the penthouse so she would know what places to avoid that day.

"Dorota said he isn't here. I got he's gone out shopping, or that's what she said."

Blair frowned. "Shopping? Yes, he probably told me while I was asleep" she lied.

"You don't seem too sure."

"What, me? I've been dead since fifteen minutes ago. I barely remember what my name is!" she chuckled.

He chuckled as well and sighed. "The baby must wore you out... you seem tired, Blair. You sure you're trying to rest as much as you can?"

"Yes I am, Nate. I'm Blair Waldorf! Of course I found the perfect balance now that the baby is here. I'm very proud of myself" she nodded, hoping Nate would believe her. He wasn't really hard to convince.

Nate's smile faded a bit. "And Chuck? I hope he's helping you."

Blair wasn't sure how to answer that question, but thankfully for her Alexandra seemed done with her breast that she had the chance to change the subject.

"Look, Alexandra is full!" She giggled again and smiled at the baby that looked at her with pouty lips. She pushed the baby a bit aside and closed her blouse trying not to let Nate see. She knew he wouldn't even try, he wasn't the type, but still it was weird to be there with her boob exposed. No matter he was her ex boyfriend. She wondered why she had allowed him there. She must have been too sleepy to function.

She put a towel on her shoulder to let the baby burp and stood up. Being barefoot was a plus in that moment since she wasn't fully awake yet.

"Let me burp her, then you can take her if you want." She said at Nate, but he looked distracted from his phone. She raised an eyebrow.

Nate looked back at her again. "Sorry, Blair. My phone vibrated... Jenny wrote that she's coming back to New York, finally."

"Is she not here? I thought you always traveled together."

"Yeah, we did. But I had to rush here because my grandfather had set up an interview for me on Tuesday, and I had to leave Jenny with her band mates to come. She still had to do two dates at some random music festival, then she would be done for now."

"I see" she nodded. She still didn't get why Nate had wanted to follow Jenny through her tour of the States, but who cared now. "So she's coming today?"

"Yep." He checked his watch and shrugged. "I should probably go to Grand Central to pick her up. It's been one week we haven't seen each other."

Blair grinned with amusement, "Wow, you must really miss her, Nate... then go. Don't worry about us. We'll be okay. There's Dorota to help me."

He nodded. "Take care."

Nate smiled at both and left the room soon.

Blair looked at the flowers and the plushes and with the baby cradling in her arms, she tried to put those two lions on the bed. They seemed perfect, and thankfully they weren't teddy bears like the other plushes Alexandra had got. She also took the flowers, she decided to put them in the vase in the foyer.

She went downstairs still barefoot, laid the flowers on the table, and looked for the stroller in the living room to put the baby in it. The baby looked almost asleep, so she hoped she wouldn't cry when she would do that. When she came back, she almost had a heart attack, but in the end it was just Dorota with a towel in her hands.

"Miss Blair, want me to take baby? Need help to put flowers Mr Nate brought?"

Blair thought about it for a second then handled Alexandra to her maid. "Just for now" she recommended, and she could see Dorota shaking her head when she turned back to the vase.

She removed the light pink paper around the flowers and slowly put the peonies in the water. It reminded her of old times. Nate had been so nice to bring her favorite flowers, she hadn't seen those since her wedding when she had to order them from Asia because it wasn't peonies period in August.

She sighed when she was done and took the baby back from Dorota, who looked quite disappointed. Blair knew she wanted to look after Alexandra like Chuck wanted, but she didn't want to let her for some reasons she only knew.

"Dorota, can you please put some of my favorite DVD on the bed of my bedroom?"

"Plan to watch a movie with baby?" Dorota asked with curiosity.

Blair smiled. "She needs to get to know who Audrey is. She needs to start at an early age!"

"Yes, and be like mommy!" Dorota said and smiled at the baby in Blair's arms.

"Where's her daddy anyway?" she asked casually. She was glad Dorota usually left at 6pm, she had no idea she and Chuck had had a fight about her not letting him help her. If she had overheard she was sure right now she would complain about how much Chuck was wrong or right and that they had to talk not to compromise their wedding already.

Dorota shrugged. "Mr Chuck just told me to say work called him and he is all day out."

"All day out?" she raised both eyebrows. This meant she was argument-free for a few hours, but she was also kept far from trying to let Chuck understand she was doing her job and he shouldn't interfere.

"He said something about Empire want to open hotel in Los Angeles... but can't remember." She shook her head trying to find the conversation in her memories.

Blair frowned but decided to keep her reaction to herself. "Too bad he's gonna miss movie moments with the baby." She rolled her eyes in annoyance. "Go find Sabrina. Now!"

One hour later Blair was sitting in the center of the big bedroom bed with Alexandra sitting on her lap. The baby was having her afternoon feeding, and she looked so hungry while the movie was on that Blair looked at her with surprise. She let the baby feed on both breasts nonetheless they hurt when she was done. It looked as if the baby had took away part of her chest, she was too tiny to have teeth but her small mouth was already so eager to suck her mother's milk.

"Look at him. She doesn't understand he's just deceiving her. He's not gonna come on that ship to sail to France with her. Audrey's characters are great dreamers. It doesn't took much to dream, doesn't it?" she asked at the baby that looked far from sleepy. She still hadn't burped.

"Even if in the end dreams don't turn out to be true. You'll need to dream a lot, and dream big. You need to believe you're going to be someone great because that's how you can achieve something. I hope you do it for me. And well, your father. Where is your father, perhaps? He's working? He's eating?" she looked at the clock and realized it was almost 5pm. He wasn't surely eating. It was too late for lunch, she thought.

"What if he doesn't come back? What if, Lexie?" she asked and looked at the TV this time. She closed her eyes and put the baby on her shoulder so she could put her head there. "He just doesn't get me... he doesn't get I want to look after you because that's what I'm entitled to do as your mother. Your grandma, well... she barely did that for me. I don't want to repeat the same mistakes, you know." The baby burped as a response and Blair couldn't help but look at her with a smile. "Guess you agree" she kissed the baby's head.

….

Blair thought their war was going too far when Chuck came back home around midnight the day after they had argued, and slept again in the guest room. She got he had arrived from the sound of the elevator's bell, she had supposed it was the baby that had woken up, but this time she was mistaking. She had waited awake for a few minutes for him to go upstairs and open the bedroom's door and get in. Remove his tie, then his shirt and his pants to change into one of his favorite silk pajamas that she would feel brushing against her bare legs.

But he never did that.

She felt his shoes on the carpet but the direction was always opposite. She had hoped he would do that only for another day and then come back, but she couldn't hope much. She had literally told him that nurse the baby and do everything that the baby needed was her job, and that he couldn't help at all. Did she still think that? Probably.

The morning of the day after he had come back late from work Blair had thought she would see him for breakfast or lunch at least. It still was his house, he couldn't avoid her and the baby for too long despite the penthouse was pretty big.

She came downstairs in her silk robe around 7am after she had slept for two hours because the baby had fallen asleep again at 4am, and she was super hungry. The baby hadn't let her eat dinner the day before because she kept crying and crying after she had had her evening feed, and Blair hadn't had the chance to do anything to calm her down. She had been very worried the baby could have had a colic, but she realized she only had lost the pacifier.

The food was already put on the dining room table when Blair got there, her morning maids were usually punctual when it came to serve food. She got in the room but she realized it was empty. This made her feel uneasy and she felt the urge to touch her neck as if she was about to suffocate. He wasn't there or perhaps he had already left.

She called one of the morning maids to ask, and she informed Blair that he had told her not to prepare anything for him because he would eat at the bar of his hotel... Great.

Blair had smiled awkwardly and got back in her room to recover more sleep, but she wasn't able to. She kept thinking about Chuck and how much she was missing him in bed, and talk to

him. They hadn't been talking for almost two days. She was starting to feel depressed.

Around dinner time she deluded herself again by hoping he would be there.

Chuck failed to come again, she decided then to nurse the baby for her evening feeding so that she would fall asleep and she could take a shower, and then go to bed.

She did as planned and this time she woke up directly when the baby started crying. It was earlier than she thought, a quarter past 2am. She wondered why the baby had woken up early, but she couldn't complain. The baby wasn't a robot.

She lazily got off bed and reached the nursery. It was dark, she turned on the lights and the baby kept crying more. For some weird reason she noticed she wasn't under the covers like she had put her to bed earlier, and her pacifier wasn't on her onesie. She had a flash about that difference, but she didn't want to fool herself too much into thinking it could be true.

"Keep calm, mommy is here" she said as she picked the baby up and prepared herself to nurse. "I wonder why you babies eat this much. I would so love to eat all this milk and never get fat. Think how cool it would be, not having to worry about your shape..." she yawned.

The baby was faster that night. She didn't seem exactly eager to eat like the night before, she was probably upset or something. Her father hadn't seen her in two days. She wondered if perhaps Alexandra missed him, then she asked herself how could she. She barely let him touch her. The baby probably didn't even know her father's smell.

She shook her head and sighed, then she started crying.

She looked at the calendar less than a week later.

It was almost the end of the month and she realized how they had been married for four weeks already that Sunday, and Serena hadn't made things easier for her.

"Hadn't thought you and my step brother have been married for a month now!" Serena had told her happily.

Blair was flipping through a magazine with disinterest. "Yeah."

"Why that tone? You don't seem happy. I know he's a pain, but are you tired of him already?"

She raised an eyebrow and looked at her best friend with a blank face.

"Has he gave you some gift, then? If so, I wanna see."

Blair thought Serena could be a bit confused that day. "It's something you can't see, S. You would be disgusted by his taste. It involves shackles and lace."

Serena made an ewww face already. "Then no, please don't let me know. I want to preserve my ears from Chuck's dirty games. Either way, guess you'll have fun. Is he being a good dad?"

"Why everyone is asking me this?"

The blonde raised an eyebrow. "Is he not?"

"He's doing the father the best he can. I can assure you" she answered with small excitement.

Serena nodded and looked over at the baby sleeping in her crib. She was about to answer Blair back, but the girls were interrupted by a knock on the door. Blair felt like she missed a heartbeat again, but it wasn't him unfortunately.

"Do I disturb?"

"No, Lily. Come in" Blair stood up from the couch and approached her mother-in-law. "It's good to see you here. Did you come for Alexandra?"

Lily smiled. "Actually, for both her and my own daughter" she laughed. "She promised me an afternoon of shopping, but she told me she needed to pass here before we could go to Saks. I decided it was time to see my granddaughter again, that's why I decided to come."

Blair smiled widely. "The baby is sleeping, let's be silent." She warned Lily as she got closer to the crib to look at the baby.

"She's bigger than when I saw her one week ago, or I'm wrong? She looks good."

"The baby eats a lot. I love that's she's always hungry, but hate that I can't feel my chest afterwards."

Lily giggled at Blair's confession. "I know sweetie, I know. Nurse your baby can be tiring, but you'll get used to it. If you need something to apply on your chest you can call your gyno. I'm sure she'll know what works to lessen the pain, and that isn't bad for the baby if you apply it daily when you're still giving her your milk."

"I will call her later... thanks."

Serena's phone buzzed at that point, and she excused herself. She didn't want the baby to wake and Blair get mad.

When they were left alone, Lily looked around the room. She looked amused.

"This room... wow. I love the shades of lilac on the walls and the furniture. The baby already has her adult bed, and also a desk and a shelf full of books. Bet Charles decided the color."

Blair faked a smile. "Yeah, he did. You know how he is obsessed with purple."

"Yes, I know well." She nodded and kept looking around until she sat down on the bed. "I've been meaning to ask... is everything okay? Are there any problems with Chuck and the baby?"

Blair frowned. "What do you mean?"

Lily bit her lip. "Charles has stayed much at our building these last five days. He said he needed a place to work that wasn't full of cryings and calm, where he could do his projects. I didn't ask more and I let him stay as much as he wanted."

Now she got why he never ate at their penthouse.

"The first two days I thought it was okay, but then when he kept coming I felt like he did because he didn't want to stay at home." She continued. "I know Chuck isn't my blood son, but I do know him. I know that if he avoids going somewhere is because something happened and he doesn't want to face that person. I just hope... he's not having any problems bonding with the baby. You know how hard it was for him to find a connection with Bart only shortly before he died. I don't want him to feel the same towards his baby, and I guess so do you."

Blair's mouth fell open. She never realized the Bart thing. How Chuck had struggled years and years to get closer to his father and feel connected to him, feel they were more than just blood-related. Feel that they were a family. She wasn't sure but if Chuck wouldn't pass time with Alexandra it could happen the same. She could feel neglected, and Blair didn't want this.

"Chuck is an amazing father." She answered trying to be convincing.

Lily frowned. "Is he? Does he change the baby's diapers? Does he wake up at night? Does he hold her and tries to bond with her?"

"Like I said, he's an amazing father" she repeated, but Lily seemed skeptic.

She sighed. "Blair, please. Let him do the father as much as he can. Don't put any stop to him wanting to be the baby's father. Is gonna help bonding with the baby and you have a balance in your life. Or you want him to become like Bart? As much as I loved him, we both know he didn't know how to be a father as much as I didn't know how to be a mother at that time."

Blair kept looking at Lily and bit her lip. She had been so thoughtless.

They stayed in silence until Serena got in the room again and broke it.

"What is this atmosphere?"

Blair pretended to shush her. "Don't scream or Alexandra will wake up."

Serena nodded. "Yes, yes. Now I should go... I mean, we should go. Dan called me and we're going to have a date tonight, I need a new dress."

"Yeah, better if we go. I don't want to wake the princess sleeping" Lily said and stood up.

"I'll see you in the morning, B. Say hi to Chuck for me" she kissed her cheek and walked out.

Lily approached her really closer and also gave her a kiss on her cheek.

"Don't forget our conversation... please. Give a kiss to Chuck and Alexandra from me."

Blair would have really wanted to give a kiss to Chuck from Lily, if she had actually seen him.

It was a week so far, and Chuck had avoided her like plague. Something told her wasn't avoiding the baby on the other hand.

She had heard noises from the nursery several times, but she didn't care to check if he was there. Despite the fact that she missed him, she wasn't ready for a face off in the middle of the night, but she knew they had to have a confrontation.

She thought he still went to check on the baby around 2am, right before she would wake.

She decided then to wait in the baby's room. She lied down on the adult bed after midnight. She knew he still hadn't come back home, but this didn't worry her because Lily had confessed Chuck usually came to their house. At least this discouraged the idea that he might have been whoring around with some skunk, even if he wasn't that type of guy anymore.

As she imagined, the door slightly opened after 1am. She felt quiet steps on the carpet and saw Chuck's figure against the window. She knew that he couldn't see her there unless he turned the lights on, things she was sure he wouldn't do.

She heard him talking.

"How are you today, baby? Still hungry, I see. You like my finger, don't you?" he giggled. "I hope you like me too even if I can't give you milk. I mean, what a relief I can't. I wouldn't let a kid suck my nipple this early. They would denounce me!" He laughed softly. "Anyway, how's going with your mom? She's still obsessed with you?" he sighed.

Blair bit her lip as she listened. That was amusing.

"I guess so. That's why daddy has to visit in the middle of the night. Mommy is K.O. and so daddy can have you a little bit without being disturbed. This sucks, doesn't it. You'd agree if you could talk. You could actually tell your mother you also need to be with your father because your father needs you a lot. You're the very first member of my family after your mother, if only you could understand."

She kept listening.

"If only _she_ would understand. She is a superwoman, but she isn't a superhero. She also has the right to sleep, don't you think? But you can't let her. Hey, I'm not blaming you! It's just you're so tiny and so difficult to take care of. I wonder how she does it." She felt another sigh. "I feel so helpless sometimes. As if I can't do anything at all for you. But then I come here in the middle of the night and you suck my finger, and I'm joyful inside. Ah, it's already too late. Daddy's got to finish a project for his hotel, you know. And mommy is going to wake up early so is better if I go. I hope you wait for me with eagerness like I do."

She saw him standing up and kiss the baby's head. Oh, the joys of spying in the dark of the room. The scene made her melt, she had to admit.

Chuck put the baby back in her crib and left the room. Once she was sure he was far enough not to hear her steps, she got up from the bed and looked at the crib. Alexandra was awake and sucking on her pacifier, really calm. She picked her up and cradled her for starters, then decided to take advantage of the good mood of the baby and nurse her. She hoped that by doing so the baby would fall asleep again in less time and she could have an early night.

The day after was Saturday. That would be the second Saturday without Chuck, and this stressed Blair so much because the day after would be Sunday, and that day was usually family day.

She wondered if she could do something for that. She was feeling weak not calling him or looking for him or even just texting him. Why did they reach that point? It's not that they'd never spent few days not talking to each other because of an argument, but now that they had a baby and were married was slightly different. They had some responsibilities, and they couldn't ignore them or let somebody else handle those for them.

She decided then to play on the fact that Chuck usually visited the baby at night.

After she had dinner, she purposely took the baby with her in the bedroom, to let her sleep next to her in the crib. She knew Chuck could go in the nursery and see the baby wasn't there and go back to his guest room, but he could also decide to take a look at the baby in the bedroom where she would be.

She fell asleep at around 9pm and hoped to wake up if Chuck would come. She decided it was time for them to talk or sort of, they couldn't go on like that anymore. She knew the major fault of this situation was her dedication to Alexandra, but he was also to blame for being a coward who looked detached from his wife because of this dedication she had.

She wasn't sure the trick worked until she heard the door open. She jolted silently, she knew it was him but it could probably be anyone, so she didn't open her eyes until she saw him next to the crib.

She looked at Chuck with half an eye open. He still had his suit on, but his hair looked disheveled.

He picked the baby up, but didn't say anything. He just caressed her back and kissed her cheek before putting her back in her crib. He didn't look behind him where Blair was sleeping few paces from. He just sighed and then turned to leave.

Blair felt her decision pushing her to talk. She couldn't miss that chance. She turned in the bed and murmured something.

"Don't go."

Chuck stopped in his tracks, but didn't turn. He was clearly waiting for Blair to say more.

"I know I've been acting like a fool obsessing over the baby, but haven't you understood why I did it? You should know how hard it is. Not having a mother who cares for you. I don't want my daughter to grow up that way, with her parents barely paying attention to her. I want Alexandra to have the best, and if it means take care of her 24/7, then I should get used to it."

"That's it?" he asked, his voice was husky.

Blair bit her lip and held on tight on the covers. She had to have the strength to say it. "I miss you here, in this bed. Next to me. Next to the baby. She needs you... as much as I need you. Please, come back here. Let's start over and pretend she's born yesterday. Let's be a family."

Silence fell on the room as Chuck seemed thinking about Blair's words. There wasn't too much to think, though. She had said the magic word, and he could resist to his desires no longer.

"Will you let me...?" he simply said, and Blair knew what he meant. He needed to know that she would let him help her.

She sighed "Alexandra is _our_ daughter. She needs _us_ both."

She impatiently waited for him to say something, but he didn't talk. He just stood there, probably elaborating ideas in his mind. He usually took all the time he needed to figure out things, he wanted to choose well and wanted to forgive only if he thought his heart told him it was what he truly wanted. He wouldn't ever do something he wasn't sure to do. He decided to turn and face her after a while. She had been looking at his back for the whole time, her heart was pounding fast in her chest waiting for his answer.

Chuck wasn't a man of many words, he just kicked off his shoes and undid his tie, then slowly got rid of all of his clothes until he remained with just his boxers on. He slowly walked to the bed, she could feel his eagerness. Despite the few light of the moon beaming on him, she could tell he was smirking. He got on the bed and crawled under the covers next to her, so she put her head back on her pillow and turned to look at him.

He passed a hand on her cheek and put a strand of hair behind her ear. She shivered in response and closed her eyes as if something was inebriating her body. Perhaps, the sexual desire. He moved closer to her and kissed her forehead, to move quickly on her mouth. They hadn't been touching each other for over a week, Blair felt as if she was about to die for the pleasure she was feeling just with a passionate kiss. She felt something in her stomach, as if she was hungry, and of course she was. He was too.

Chuck put his hand behind her back in a hug, while he tried to stimulate her. Blair didn't need to be stimulated much, though. What she was feeling in her inner thigh was indescribable, it could only compare with the burning flames of a fire that if not controlled, could create great and irreparable damages.

She felt him closer as he moved in the bed. He was still hugging her, and her head was placed in the crook of his arm, her cheek was touching his chest. She could smell his cologne from there, still fresh and flattering. She had been missing it for long. Since Alexandra was born they hadn't had the chance to sleep together in that sense. She had needed sex so much during the last trimester of the pregnancy because she had been too horny. Now that the baby was born she wasn't that horny anymore, but it didn't mean she was done wanting Chuck.

The intercourse of the night before had been comforting and relieving. It had soothed some of the sadness she had been feeling those days without him. She definitely needed more of those moments in the future. She hoped she wouldn't be too stubborn next time and let Chuck do what he wanted with the baby and help her. She had to get Alexandra wasn't her exclusive property.

She yawned and considering how Chuck had moved next to her, she had made him shiver. He yawned too after a minute, and Blair looked up to see him rubbing his eye. He smiled when he saw her. "Good morning" he said as he kissed her hair. "What time is it?"

Blair checked the clock on the nightstand to realize it was past 9am. "Wow, that's... late. Did Alexandra wake up? Did you calm her down?" she asked, not fully realizing that perhaps Chuck could had taken care of the baby already, and she was probably too much tired to wake.

"I didn't. I guess the baby just slept normally."

"It must be because both her parents where here -" she started to say with a coquettish tone, but Chuck's phone rang before she could add anything more. She waited for him to finish the call. The phone wasn't far from her and she could hear what the other person was saying, but unfortunately Chuck had sat down and put the phone away from Blair's ear reach. Only words she could figure were hotel, Los Angeles, flight. Dorota had told her about this project of his, but she knew none about it, the details. When he hung up, Blair looked questioningly at him, but he just got off bed and headed for the bathroom. Blair jumped off bed too to ask for an explanation. Before he could enter the room, he turned confused.

"What?"

"Are you planning to build a hotel in Los Angeles? That's awesome!" she asked with curiosity.

Chuck bit his lip and frowned. "Tomorrow. I need to fly there to check on the place first."

"And you're gonna do it today, on a Sunday? You're not gonna pass this day with us?"

He sighed. He knew what she meant. "The flight is 6 hours long. I can't leave tomorrow."

Blair didn't know what to say, so she answered stubbornly. "You are a _great_ husband and a _great_ father." She clapped her hands. "Enjoy your flight" she said coldly as she turned to leave. "Don't worry for me and your daughter. We spent a week without you, we will survive."

She got back in the bedroom and felt the urge to break something. No, she still didn't think Chuck could help her taking care of Alexandra ever.

….

I just hope the end of this chapter isn't too abrupt. I wanted to end with a cliffhanger in this chapter too because I want this fic to also have a bit of angst. You know is not CB without angst... I just hope this chapter wasn't boring because of the small interaction between CB. Well, got things planned for next chapters. I'll update soon! X


	13. Petunia

Author's notes at the end of the page, I'm in a hurry! :P

…

He knew he had to tell her the truth before it would blow up in his face, but he was too distracted from her lips to confide that he was finally going to buy a hotel in the sunny Los Angeles.

He had prepared the project for weeks, hoping to show it to the members of the board, and have their approbation. They had showed him how much they believed he could go on with his job several times, by giving him their money to buy bars and restaurants in all New York and also Miami. Miami had been the project of the year before, with its environment it was the Los Angeles of the East Coast. Make money by buying a hotel there had been a great investment, but at that time he had let one of the other members of the Bass Industries to take care of it.

Los Angeles seemed like the next step to let people of the opposite coast know the name of the Bass' too, and expand the hotel business of course.

If it would go well, the incomes would grow more than normal. LA was usually a bit expensive than New York, and many celebrities lived there. They could offer them a great service and hope that in exchange they would pass the word about the hotel.

Chuck had visioned the hotel on his laptop thanks to some pictures that his personal assistant had sent to him. This person had gone to Los Angeles for a few days to check on the place and the landscape, the hotel had to be excellent and comfortable.

Once he went out of the shower, he noticed Blair and the baby had already left the room.

He supposed Blair was angry with him, but what did she pretend? He was working, he wasn't going to LA to have fun, as much as he wanted to. She had to understand that he had a job and as the boss he also had to do those trips. He had done few in the past when they were just together and she hadn't complained much, why now it seemed a big deal? It wasn't that he would go there for long, three days max.

She wasn't letting him look after the baby anyway, and although it seemed she had changed her mind that night, he wasn't sure she would be of the same idea that morning.

Considering how the bed was done, Blair had probably asked Dorota to do it. Her clothes weren't also at the same place, and the baby's crib wasn't near the window anymore.

She thought they hadn't gone far, so he got dressed then went to the place he thought they would be. As expected, Blair and Alexandra were in the baby's nursery. Blair was sitting on the armchair and was clearly smiling at the baby feeding. When she acknowledged his presence, the smile faded.

"You didn't have to leave?" she asked with a not so sweet tone.

He walked closer to them. "I couldn't leave without greeting you and the baby. Can I kiss her?"

Blair frowned. "She's busy now."

"Then I'll wait until you finish" he said as he sat on the couch next to the armchair.

She looked at him until he crossed his legs and turned to watch them. The baby was still eagerly sucking, and he could notice she was far from finishing her meal.

He knew Blair looked like she didn't love being watched while nursing, but in that moment he didn't give a damn about it. He had spent few days only looking at her in her sleep and not talking or kissing her, or eating together. He had missed her face as much as he had missed Alexandra's face. He still couldn't believe they were his girls. They were both so beautiful.

He understood the baby had stopped sucking when she emitted a small groan. Blair turned her to let the baby attach to her other breast before Chuck could protest.

"You said I could give her a kiss when she would be done" he complained.

Blair raised an eyebrow. "Does she look like she's done? Is better if you leave, or you'll lose your flight" she said with nonchalance.

"You forgot I only fly with the private jet. They'll wait."

She nodded and looked away at the realization. He knew she wasn't pleased with him leaving, but why did she push him to leave anyway?

He kept watching them as Blair never dared to look up to see him. He supposed she wanted to avoid eye-contact, so that he would understand he had to leave earlier than decided with the captain of the private jet. She was offended.

She still didn't get that he wanted to say goodbye properly, and that meant holding his baby as she looked like she had promised him the night before.

Once Alexandra was done, Blair fixed her blouse slowly than usual, but he had of course expected it.

"Can I take her?"

"Wait" she had slapped his hand away when he tried to get a hold on the baby.

He sighed but decided not to argue again, although Blair really seemed she was trying to take precious time from his schedule and this was a good reason to discuss.

When her blouse was finally fixed, she did something else he would expect. Giving her possible rage towards him, she didn't pass the baby to him but instead she got up and started to walk to burp the baby.

"Can I at least burp her? It's been so -" he was trailed off.

"I told you. If you need to leave, leave now. She won't remember it anyway."

Chuck sighed again and stood up from the couch. "I thought we were past this. What is going on now?" he asked, pretending to be naïve. He knew what was wrong.

Blair rolled her eyes and kept walking back and forth in the room, as if he wasn't there.

"Have you heard someone talking, Alexandra? I thought I closed the windows, a fly may has entered the room."

He was annoyed by her behavior she had no idea.

"Don't act like you don't know." He said with a severe tone. "It's because I'm leaving, isn't it?"

"I should call Dorota so she can kill this annoying fly..." she continued.

Chuck shook his head. "Is it possible for you not acting like a four year old? Look at me."

But there Blair started to sing a song to the baby, and Chuck rolled his eyes. He checked his watch, and noticed it was past ten-thirty. He had scheduled the flight for 11am so that he would arrive to LA before the evening dinner with the people that should sell him the hotel. He couldn't be late, but he didn't want to miss the chance to say goodbye to his girls either.

He would really want to take her arm to stop her tiring walk, but he wouldn't dare to do it since she was holding the baby, as much as he just wanted her to stop.

"I know I should had told you before, but we weren't talking. I've got to buy this place before someone else does it, and I need to do it today. It's from our future. Alexandra's future. You know what I mean? Plus, is just for three days."

With that, Blair finally stopped.

She glared at him, but it wasn't a true glare. She was mostly pretending to be super angry with him. A part of her knew it was his job, and like she hadn't wanted him to help her saying she was entitled to do it as the baby's mother, she had to get she didn't have to stop him from doing his things either.

"We've been married for a month, Chuck. And you know what you did? You got back to work, cowardly left me alone in our bedroom looking after the baby. Eat at Lily's and didn't call or text me so I could know you were safe. Last night I finally decided it was better for us if I'd let you take care of Alexandra too, but now what happens? You need to fly to California. Great, that's absolutely great."

"Don't you think you're being too selfish?"

Blair fumed a bit. "Are you? Because it seems to me work comes before everything to you."

"You know that's not true" he answered bitterly. "I've spent weeks on this project, and I'm sorry I had the opportunity to present it just two days ago, but now here it is."

"I can't believe you're putting me in front of the accomplished fact."

He shook his head and sighed. "I'm also doing this for you."

Blair made a face. "Is this your stupid explanation? Who cares about money and hotels. Who cares about your hotel above all, when right now all you should do is taking care of your family." She said with determination. "I really thought have a baby would have made us what you've always wanted to be... but I was probably wrong."

Chuck looked down and felt something inside telling him how a dick he was being, but he tried to ignore that voice. The other side of him on the other hand was pushing him to go upstairs and jump on the private jet waiting for him on the roof.

He knew he had to sacrifice something, but were Blair and the baby the ones?

His job was nothing compared to them. As much as money could buy a lot of things, they couldn't buy happiness. And as much as money also paid call girls, they couldn't buy love.

He felt an asshole.

"You wouldn't let me touch the baby, what is _your_ explanation? Looks like I'm not the only one to blame after all" he said with a bit of venom. "You wanted to keep the baby all for you and wouldn't let me do anything... is that the family you wanted to create with me, huh?"

Blair bit her lip. He knew he had moved something in her, but two can play at that game.

"I changed my mind last night."

"Yes, but then you changed your mind again few minutes ago. So, who is being selfish now?"

She sighed and then waited to answer. She moved past him and put the baby in her crib. She wasn't sure how Alexandra had fallen asleep with her and Chuck arguing, but she did. She just hoped they wouldn't scream or it would take more later to fall her back to sleep.

She turned back to him and bit her lip again. It was a hard situation, but both knew it wasn't going anywhere.

"I was ready to forgive you" she said as she walked out of the nursery. "To let you do the father."

He followed her and listened carefully to every word, but didn't answer until they reached the bedroom. He wasn't sure why she stopped there. "Why should you forgive me for wanting to do the father?" he put a hand on his temples. "I mean, is not like we just had a one night stand and the paternity is be up in the air. We made a promise, Blair. I don't think you want Alexandra to grow with just one parent, do you? And I'm her father, I would do anything not to let you take control over her" he said with conviction. "I don't want to be absent in her life like my father did, as much as you don't want to be like your mother."

Blair folded her hands together and started feeling depressed at the admission he did.

He would do anything to have the baby, she was sure of that. She didn't want to think they could really arrive to the point of being over already. They had been married for just a month.

"But you are still leaving" she teased, and could see his expression fail.

He knew that he had to go. He watched his watch before answering her. He had wanted to take all of the time he needed to decide, and in the end he felt there was only one thing to do.

He sighed and put both hands in his pockets, looked at the carpet and then back at her.

"Is just three days" he murmured with a severe expression.

Blair looked like she only needed to be reassured, but he wasn't able to do that right now. The decision was hard, but he couldn't do otherwise.

She blinked and barely smiled. "I'll see you on Wednesday, then" she said with a small voice.

He smiled back and moved closer to kiss her cheek. "I'll text you when I land."

Blair tried to smile again when he looked at her for the last time before taking his suitcase and leave the room.

….

On the flight to Los Angeles he couldn't stop thinking about Blair and the baby.

He felt completely stupid, a dick, a stubborn egocentric man who was obsessed with his job. It made him think about the old him, the seventeen year old who wanted his father's approbation and that was going to do anything to have it.

He remembered when he first bought Victrola. That club was still his after years, but he didn't use to go there like before. He mostly checked on the Empire where Nate still occupied their old suite, and on the Palace, where Blair had been named boss since July. Those two hotels were his favorites. The Palace because he had lived there with Bart and Lily, and the Empire because it was his very first business deal after Bart had died.

He bought the Empire thanks to Blair, who had also given him her approbation on the Victrola.

Blair was the woman who had pushed him to do some of his most successful and important deals, she was probably the one reason why he had felt confident to go on and buy some properties. Blair had been and was the only one he relied on and made him believe he could buy the universe. He ought almost everything to her.

Then why the hell he decided to leave anyway?

It seemed like things had been fixed that night. He was so eager that finally he wouldn't go in secret to look for Alexandra anymore, but that morning call had ruined everything. He wanted to blame it on his secretary, but she was just doing her job after all. He had to do damage control anyway. Buy something to Blair and the baby in Los Angeles so that he would try to get their forgiveness right away.

He looked at his laptop. He had been working more on the jet to check everything was on place, so that the people who was going to meet that night would be glad to sell their building to him. He was pleased to see what he had done. It took him weeks to finish that project, he recalled he started the sketch when he and Blair were at the Hamptons in August. Whenever she was sleeping and he didn't feel like doing anything, he would be sitting at the desk of the office of the summer house and arrange things for it.

If only Blair would know... she had said she didn't care about hotels and especially about his.

He knew she wasn't being true because she was angry at him, but it hurt anyway. Who would believe it was worth if his wife didn't think it was?

He decided not to let her words bother him. They were just words after all.

The private jet landed in LA at around 7.15pm.

He decided to send a text to Blair to fix his coward behavior that had lasted till the night before. He didn't want to let her think he didn't want to go on with this relationship just because in those last few days they'd been arguing a lot. And wasn't one of his goals try to be a perfect husband and father? He so hated himself in that moment, but he couldn't do anything but that to try to make amends with that small thought for now.

_Just landed. I hope you and Alexandra are okay. Love, Chuck._

Chuck had fastly changed into a new light blue suit to match with the landscape, and also less autumnal one. It was sunny in California, and he couldn't let the sellers met him with sweat drops falling on his face because of the hotness of the flannel suit he had on.

Few men brought his two suitcases into the hotel, and he followed them to his suite. He then gave some cash to the bell boys, and they left. He checked himself in the mirror to see if he was okay, then he took his keys and left to reach the restaurant of the hotel.

….

Blair was in the bedroom bed when her phone vibrated.

She had tried so hard to fall asleep despite the bad mood. Chuck had drained her energy that morning, and Dorota had to give her chamomile tea and some Lady Godiva's. Neither the baby had been successful in change anything.

She wasn't mad at Chuck, she was more saddened by his behavior. It wasn't that he was doing a bad thing, but the timing was wrong. His timing was always wrong. She wondered if they'd ever arrived to Christmas together if he needed to be given a new wristwatch perhaps.

She yawned and lazily took the phone from the nightstand.

Chuck had just sent her a text, and for some reason it made her smile like a child. It wasn't much, but it was less than nothing. She hadn't hoped for it anyway. Unexpected.

She decided not to text him back since she knew it was dinner time in LA and he probably was with the sellers. She knew she had told him she didn't care, but she would be sorry if he wouldn't make it. She knew it was just another boring business deal, but it meant a lot to Chuck, and she knew why.

He was great. He knew how to do his job, and he had been proving to the members of the Bass Industries how good he was at his work like his father had been. It had passed enough years for them to recognize Chuck's good flair with affairs. He was born to do this.

Too bad he often thought he wasn't too much. He had to know by then that he was everything to her and his daughter at least.

Blair put the phone back on the nightstand and tried to sleep again, but somehow she was disturbed by her thoughts. She didn't succeed so she gave up at some point. Time had flown by anyway, and Alexandra started to cry at around 3 o' clock.

She got up to repeat the same routine. Nurse her, burp her, change her diaper then let the baby sleep till morning when all those things would be repeated again. She hated routines.

She thought she was going to fall on the floor when at some point she felt her stomach, ache. She hadn't eaten anything but few chocolates at lunch, and nothing at dinner. She hadn't been in the mood for eating, but she didn't care. It wasn't that one or two days without food would mean much, although that she was conscious she needed to eat to keep herself on top.

She still hadn't given up on the idea of taking care of the baby alone, as much as she hated having cold feet and regret what she had told him the night before. She didn't love to change her mind so soon, but she didn't feel like fully trusting him either.

She cradled the baby slower than usual after she feed her. Alexandra was protesting by touching Blair's cheek – slapping was the right term – and seemed like she didn't want to get back in her crib. She grunted and looked so excited when Blair cooed her with a silly kitty voice that she didn't know how she made since she was so tired.

She sat down on the bed at some point, keeping the baby next to her and where the wall was so that if Alexandra wouldn't fall asleep and she would, she won't fall off the bed.

She passed few minutes looking at her with tiredness. Alexandra seemed so joyful at that time of the night when all she wanted to do was sleep. She was feeling so depressed about not sleeping the right amount of hours, that her weariness betrayed her.

When she woke up the following morning, she felt tired as ever. She looked at her side, Alexandra was fully asleep and she was holding her pacifier with her small hand. Blair smiled at the sweet sight, caressing the baby's head carefully not to wake her up.

She looked at the clock on the wall and realized how late it was. Like one week earlier, she had overslept. She thought _whatever_ in her mind since the baby was there and sleeping next to her and she didn't have to do anything that day... perhaps she could sleep more.

She woke up again some time later and found the baby sucking on her pacifier and holding on Blair's pajama. She grinned at the baby and she made a sound, then she gave her finger and Alexandra took it in her little hand and hold it tighter.

The baby looked so lively that afternoon, and she wondered why. She also wondered how many hours she had been sleeping. She noticed it was almost dinner time, but she wasn't hungry and she didn't care if she ate or not, but the baby surely was and had to be feed. She sat down on the bed and picked the baby up. For some weird reason she felt her arms betray her, as if she didn't have strength, and she almost dropped the baby on her lap.

She felt a hole in her chest as she realized. She put the baby close to her heart and felt the urge to cry. Scenarios started forming in her head, and she couldn't stop thinking about what could had happened to the baby if she would've missed it. She felt so confused and dazed and she wasn't sure why, but she didn't want to get up and call Dorota, or anybody else.

She just stayed there, crying with the baby in her arms and whispering that she was sorry to her little girl that was on the other hand playing with her jaw. She blessed that she didn't understand anything right now.

She felt so lost in that moment after a long time. Pregnancy had been easy since Chuck and Serena had been close to her and had supported her, but now she felt like she was alone with a baby she created but that she didn't know how to keep safe.

She was a bad mother. Perhaps, she couldn't do the mother, and Dan was right.

She fell asleep crying with the baby in her arms, and she woke up in the middle of the night when she felt a hand caressing her hair. She opened her eyes slowly and realized it wasn't the baby who was doing it.

"Chuck" she whispered and reached out to hug him. She put her hands behind his neck and buried her face in the crook of his neck. Then, as if she couldn't control it, she started to cry again uncontrollably.

Chuck caressed her back as she cried, holding her tightly on his body so that she could feel comforted. "Are you okay, Blair? I'm sorry I left yesterday. I won't leave again without you and the baby, next time... I promise" he murmured as he tried to soothe her, but Blair kept crying on the jacket of his suit.

She moaned and sobbed. She was feeling him brushing her back lightly, and he also started to cuddle her when she shrieked abruptly in his hug. She wasn't able to motion a word to explain what she was feeling, she felt traumatized almost.

He didn't ask anything more until she recoiled back few minutes later. She looked scared and started panicking when she noticed the baby wasn't lying on the bed anymore. She looked in Chuck's eyes and tears streamed down on her face again.

"Where is she? Where is Lexie?" she covered her face with one hand.

"It's okay" he caressed her cheek with the back of his hand "she's sleeping. I found you two here lying on the bed and thought you fell asleep. I decided to put the baby back in her crib just because I noticed how hot it was your forehead."

"H-hot?" she tried to say, but her voice cracked.

"You are hot" he said as he passed his hand on her temple. "You are as hot as a radiator, Blair. I should measure your temperature. Can you wait here that I take the thermometer?" he asked as he let her lean back a few inches from him.

She felt his hand on her face trying to wipe the tears and sighed at the relief that he was back. She then nodded and so he left the room. She put a hand on her forehead and noticed he was right. She had never noticed she was that hot. She just hoped she hadn't passed the virus to the baby too or she would probably never forgive herself. She felt so nauseated.

When Chuck got back from the bedroom with the thermometer, he measured her temperature and acknowledged she had fever.

"You should rest in your bed, Blair. You can't stay near the baby unless you took some pills" he said as she looked at him with wide eyes. "She could take the flu too, and we can't risk. Don't you think?" he asked with a mellifluous tone and a hand placed on her jaw.

She nodded because she thought he was right. She didn't want the baby to have fever too at this young age. She was just one month old after all, and despite there were meds for that, she just thought she didn't want to risk more that day.

Chuck helped her to their bed by taking her in his arms. Blair frowned and sobbed as if she had a bad hiccup, then she pushed herself to grip on Chuck and felt protected as he held her in his arms. "I love you" she said between sobs.

"I love you too" he answered back, and the words seem to soothe her another bit.

She was a lightweight. Sometimes they used to take a shower together and he would take her to bed like that. She wasn't able to walk as she was super tired and also dizzy that she was sure she would fall on the carpet if he wouldn't hold her.

Chuck put Blair to bed at 4am, then walked away, or so she thought he was about to.

"Don't go. Don't go in the guest room." Blair was afraid he would leave again not to get the flu too, and this hurt too much. "Please."

He smiled lightly and then turned to her. "I wasn't going to leave. I just wanted to get rid of these clothes, put my pajama on and then sleep. I'm not going anywhere."

"You aren't afraid you could have the flu too?" she asked with a small voice, she still seemed scared and too giddy.

He shook his head and changed into his pajamas while Blair kept watching his every move.

She couldn't believe he had returned after one day from his departure, perhaps something didn't go well? She was too tired to ask in that moment.

Chuck crawled in the bed next to her. He hugged her from behind and she almost felt she was going to choke since his arms were holding her tighter as if she was the only thing he could hold on to, as if she was his only chance to survive in this world.

They kept themselves silent for a while, he thought Blair had fallen asleep because she wasn't moving anymore when he checked her forehead every once in a while.

He felt surprised when Blair talked sometime later. He could see the light of the morning arise from the window, and he knew soon the dawn was going to break.

"How did it go in Los Angeles?" she asked with a curious tone.

She felt Chuck hesitate for a second. She wondered if she had perhaps asked him something he wasn't ready to answer yet, but her curiosity had got the best of her.

He sighed. "Well, I thought worse. Those people, they... didn't love my project." He admitted with bitterness. Blair thought he was deluded. "They considered it not so much East Coast. "

"I'm sorry" she answered and looked for his hand to hold.

Chuck squeezed her hand back. "Don't worry, the hotel wasn't that great anyway. I thank God I went there to check on the place. The service was the worst, the restaurant had bad food. I couldn't spend my money on something like that. It would've been a waste."

"True" she agreed.

"And I couldn't be with you and the baby."

She smiled happily and then brushed herself on him. She tried to turn in his arms so she would face him. She had missed his face so much even if they hadn't seen each other for just a day.

She cupped her hands on his cheeks and kissed him on the jawline.

Chuck didn't protest because he knew she didn't want him to take the virus.

He kissed her forehead. "We should call your doctor later so that she can give you pills and you'll be out of this bed in less than few hours."

"We could ask Dorota to do it when she arrives."

He nodded, then closed his eyes. "You know Blair, when I was on the jet the only thing I thought were you and Alexandra. I thought you would never forgive me for leaving. It was hurting. Thinking I was too far to fix things. I just thought I was a dick, and whatever situation I'd found back here in New York, I just knew I would've deserved it."

Blair frowned. "What... situation?"

He sighed. "I was afraid" he admitted "afraid you would try anything to keep me away from you and the baby. I thought I had been too irresponsible, passed the limit."

She shook her head and caressed his cheek. "I'm the one irresponsible here. I didn't want to let you spend time with your baby. I was trying to stop you from being with her like on the other hand you needed and felt natural to do."

"But I was the one who left you and the baby on our first month."

"Yes, you did" she answered coquettishly "but then you came back. Not that I have forgiven you completely for forgotten our anniversary, _but_."

"But you will after you'll see what I brought for you from LA." He smirked.

Blair's mouth fell open and she felt delighted he had brought something for her.

Chuck got off bed and came back with a red envelope. He sat down on the bed next to her and helped her to sit against the head of the bed so that she wouldn't feel tired and dizzy. Then he gave the red velvet box to Blair who was eagerly waiting to open it.

He had had the time to bought that at Henry Winston in Beverly Hills. It had actually few pieces the New York boutique didn't have, included the one he had bought for her.

Blair opened the box and was amazed by the fine jewelery it contained. It was a shiny diamond necklace with purple and pure diamonds all over it. She smiled widely when she saw it and touched the fine gems of which it was made of.

"Too bad I'm sick and I can't wear it" she snorted sadly.

Chuck giggled. "But you will wear it when I'll take you out to dinner after you'll recover. Deal?"

"Deal" she answered as she gave him another kiss on the cheek.

They both yawned few minutes later. Blair had slept too much but was tired because of the flu, and Chuck hadn't slept at all. They crawled under the covers again and she gripped herself onto him in her sleep. She woke up several times and noticed he was asleep next to her, and that made her feel better. But there were some things that still bothered her, and she wasn't going to give Chuck much away... yet. Or perhaps never.

Dorota had come to check on her at lunch time, startled she hadn't seen her at breakfast. She told her she had the flu so she had to call the doctor to have a recipe for pills. Dorota's arrival had woken Chuck up, and also Alexandra. The maid watched them both unsure of what to do.

"Dorota, go pick up Alexandra" Chuck prompted, and the maid did as he asked.

She was going to give the baby to Blair, but she seemed to recoil back, bewildered. "No, no. Don't give her to me. Give her to Mr Chuck. I don't want the baby to be sick too."

Chuck nodded and the maid passed him the baby. "Blair is right, is better if I look after the baby for now. How should we do with the nursing, though? She only eats your milk" he said as he got off the bed with the baby in his arms and smiled at her.

He looked back at Blair with questioning eyes, waiting for an answer. She shrugged her shoulders and said what neither Dorota or Chuck expected her to.

"Let's give her baby formula" she declared. "Unless until I am okay again."

Dorota smiled widely with happiness, and Blair felt she was loving this. "Go buy right now, Miss Blair. Be right back" she said as she exited the room. She had wanted her to use baby formula so that Chuck could also give the bib to the baby, and finally... she couldn't believe it.

Chuck smiled too because he was finally happy to be of help since Blair was sick, but he was also suspicious. Changes had been too quick, and it wasn't likely for someone like Blair. He knew her too well to think something else was going on, but he avoided to ask for now.

Blair didn't want to use baby formula, but she thought she had to. She felt as if she didn't want the baby to suck her milk because it could be infected with flu virus, but it was also because of something else, something else Chuck didn't know and wouldn't have to know, and that she was still scared to admit to herself. It would pass, she thought. After she wouldn't be sick.

She hoped the feeling would go away, but none can hope to overcome their fears fast.

…

**ellibells**, never be enough picky. I like when people correct me and give me advice. Let's say CB didn't know about the healing process :P

I hope you guys aren't mad at Chuck for going to LA, but I needed to do that to let him realize that since he now has a family, there are more important things in life than your job. He's rich enough to pay someone to make deals for him lol. Also, I hope I gave you the right hints about the progression of what Blair is feeling. What do you think she's hiding? I'm figuring out how to handle this properly. I mostly am inspired by myself and my experiences to write CB's issues. Who knows me is aware of how childish and stubborn I am -cough-despite I am 22-cough-, and write CB is like relive some old things, good and bad ones. Oh and the relationship issues! Okay, I probably babbled too much lol. I am happy you're enjoying this story as much as I'm happy to continue it day by day. New chapter coming soon, tomorrow I'll have my English exam, and then I'll be free to start the new one.

Take care everyone! Comments are always loved.


	14. Oleander

The following day Serena had come to their penthouse to check on Blair and the baby. She had found her in her bed eating what it looked like soup, and a not so good color on her face.

"B, you look so -"

"So ill? That's probably because I am, Serena" she said as she put another ounce of soup in her mouth.

Serena approached the bed and sit on the border. "You've got the flu? I wonder how did you take it since you haven't gone out since the baby was born."

Blair lazily shrugged her shoulders. "You forget I often have open windows in this house. Something must have entered the rooms" she said ghostly and made Serena roll her eyes.

"What, the plague?" she rolled her eyes again. "Have you called your physician yet?"

She coughed before she answered. "Yeah, she came yesterday to check on me. Dorota called her. She said I've got fever and I should take some antibiotics, and if they don't have any effect by the end of today, I should call her again."

Serena nodded. "Can you feed the baby if you're sick?"

"She said is better if I don't" Blair sighed. "It will all depend by the meds anyway. And God, they hurt so bad" she frowned and looked down at her chest. "I feel like I've got stones in my breasts. I wouldn't have the strength to nurse anyway."

"Shouldn't it be because you have milk?"

Blair seemed amused by the question. She raised an eyebrow and giggled. "I want to see your face when you'll have a baby that is constantly latched to your boobs, Serena."

"You're right, okay" Serena chuckled. "What about the baby anyway? What will she eat?"

"Too much questions in five minutes. I'm so tired." Blair put the dish with the soup aside and fixed the covers on her up to her neck. "First, the baby isn't here. She's with Chuck eating her breakfast in the living room."

"Is Chuck giving her baby milk now? I thought you said -"

"I remember what I said. But I can't feed the baby right now so baby formula has to do it."

Serena giggled happily. "My mom will be happy to hear this! I'm glad you and my step-brother are being a team in taking care of the baby."

Blair smiled warily and coughed again. She was feeling so tired that day and eating soup for breakfast wasn't great. She hated soup. But she also had to keep herself good so that she would heal soon. How annoying.

Serena stood up from the bed and showed Blair an envelope.

"What's that? I hope not another stuffed animal."

"Nah, not another plushie, I swear! It's a couture dresses actually. My mom was invited to the Mercedes Benz fashion week at the beginning of the month, and she met various designers... she asked some a favor" she said as Blair looked interested and surprised by the revelation. "And so now I've got few exclusive newborn outfits made by Marc Jacobs and Chanel."

Blair sat down on the bed. "What? Are you kidding, right?"

Serena looked pleased by Blair's reaction. She walked to her side of the bed and gave her the two bags where the tiny outfits where in. There was a brocade red dress with bows, a ruffled cream blouse and a tweed skirt, some jackets, other tiny dresses. The final touch was a small baby-sized Chanel bag in black.

She felt as if she was about to cry for joy when she touched the outfits. Along with Chuck giving her a necklace and getting closer to her, that was probably the best thing of the week.

"They're wonderful. I can't believe they did these little dresses for my baby" she said appreciating the fabric. "Also a tiny handbag... I don't know what to say."

"Just say thanks" she smiled.

"Thanks" she answered sheepishly.

Blair put the outfits back in the bag so they wouldn't get dirty. Serena promised to put the in the baby's room before leaving. Blair had asked her to be alone since she needed and wanted to sleep. Serena had agreed and sent her a kiss with her hand before she exited the door.

She was happy her best friend had thought about her and the baby. She remembered she also needed to thank Lily, give her a call. They had thought about her, and had been so kind. She should perhaps more than just say 'thanks' also give something to her? She would ask Chuck about it, for the moment she just needed to take her pills and rest.

…

While Blair was in the bedroom away from the baby, Chuck was looking after Alexandra downstairs.

He only let Blair see her for a while without touching since germs where still in the air, and then he would go in the kitchen to get the things to prepare the baby's bib. It was so unusual for him to do so, but he was trying to get used to it. That had been the second day. He had asked Dorota not to help him since it was likely that when the baby would wake during the night, there was none but him and Blair to prepare it.

He wasn't sure how much time Blair would need to heal. The physician didn't want to risk and let her nurse, and this could go on for days. Antibiotics helped but they didn't work on everyone the same way. It could pass a week and she could still be sick, they couldn't know.

Anyway when Blair's doctor came home, she seemed as if she wasn't sure of her diagnosis.

She looked vague, he could tell from the faces she was doing while checking her with the stethoscope. She had said she wanted to see if the pills would have an effect before she could say anything more.

This was worrying him, but he decided to focus on the baby not to think about it. Hopefully, during that night she would be okay and hold her baby in her arms.

Chuck was walking back and forth in the living room with the baby in his arms. He was holding her bib and the baby seemed eager to eat, but she didn't seem to have quite the appetite that day. Perhaps it was because that milk wasn't Blair's. He wondered if babies felt the difference, and considering Alexandra tried to get a grip on the bib and remove it from her mouth every ten seconds, he decided that they did. It was so tiring.

The baby was looking at him while he was giving her morning bottle, and he couldn't help by smile by how the scene was delicious.

The baby had grown up a lot since she had been born. Her head looked bigger and her eyes looked smaller than three weeks ago. She also seemed to have more hair, and eyebrows.

He wouldn't want to miss any of those details now that he had got back from LA. He decided that work would come before family only in rare occasions. The board didn't require full presence, he could send a loyal assistant to attend meetings that weren't important, and could be at his hotels less so that he would pass the afternoon and night with Blair and the baby. There were many possibilities, he hoped to make everything work.

The baby grumbled and with her small hands succeed in putting the bib away from her mouth, letting few drops of it fall on the towel she had around her neck.

"I know you don't like it but you can't eat mommy's milk for a few days" he told the baby. "I can smell this is shitty, but you can't always get what you want, little girl."

He placed the bib back in the baby's mouth and she protested again, but he tried to hold it firmly not to let her remove it from there and wet her clothes again.

The baby didn't want to give up, but he was eventually able to give her the bib. Or almost.

He wiped her mouth with the towel and put the bib away on the table next to him. The baby looked interested by his finger while he cleaned her, that she couldn't wait for him to put the pacifier back in her mouth and put his finger there instead.

"Hey, wait! You aren't supposed to suck this, are you? But I'll let you do it anyway for now since your teeth still haven't came out" he chuckled. "Don't tell you're still hungry. I've given you half a bottle of milk, and you didn't sipped it all. You love biting things, little one. But you need to digest breakfast before having fun."

The baby kept sucking his index and he moved it slowly in her mouth. She seemed entertained by this that she disclosed her lips and smiled joyfully, warming Chuck's heart. He smirked at the baby and made some noises even if he thought he was being stupid. She looked amused by every of them, and made him feel better inside.

He cooed at the baby and she smacked her lips. "You like this too much and I'll let you do it now, but don't get used to it. Daddy needs his fingers to work, and to give pleasure to mo-"

"Mr Chuck, no tell baby those things!" Dorota interrupted the moment.

Chuck turned abruptly. He wasn't waiting Dorota there but perhaps she had spied on him the whole time. He raised an eyebrow. "I thought you were going out to buy food."

Dorota's lips parted and she looked at him with guilt. "Bought lunch and dinner and things for baby already. But Miss Blair..." she was betrayed by her words.

"She sent you to spy on us?"

The maid shook her head soon. "No, no! Miss Blair didn't ask nothing."

He frowned and looked at the baby. "Is she sleeping now?"

"Miss Blair fully asleep in bed. She took pills and ate food. I bet she gonna be okay soon."

Chuck nodded and grinned at Dorota. "That's great."

Dorota smiled back and nodded too, then she excused herself saying she needed to go polish the other room.

Chuck remained alone with the baby again. Alexandra was still awake and he guessed she would be for other few hours at least, and then she would fall asleep when it was time for him and Blair to eat lunch.

His arms hurt although the baby wasn't hard to carry, and he decided to sit down on the couch to watch some TV with her. He sat the baby on his lap with her face towards the LCD screen they had in the living room, then turned the machine on and tried to find something to watch.

It was almost ten in the morning, and he wasn't expecting to find anything good, but he found a channel who was broadcasting sports. He wasn't a big fan of sports, but if there wasn't anything else to watch, so he would settle.

Once he put the remote control away, the baby complained.

He looked at her with a frown. "What, little girl? You don't like this channel?" he turned the baby towards him and she stopped mumbling. She instead started jerking her arms and trying to reach out to touch his jaw, so he turned her again and she started crying.

"I guess you don't" he realized and took the remote control again.

He went from channel to channel but Alexandra didn't seem pleased by his choices until he found a music channel. Lady Gaga's Paparazzi video was on, and she had just got up from her wheelchair to dance.

Chuck looked at the baby, she was diverted by the music and she kept jerking her arms in cheerfulness as the video went on. He had to keep both arms on her body to hold her, she was being so restless and it seemed to him she was almost dancing.

He chuckled at the baby liking Lady Gaga. "Someday I'm gonna introduce you to her, if you'll like her music when you grow up. Daddy met her in an old bar in the West Side when she wasn't famous, but don't tell mommy about it" he recommended the baby as if she could understand. "She played the piano and everyone was amazed by how good she was. Now look at her. She kills people in her music videos" he rolled his eyes when Gaga killed her boyfriend.

The song ended soon and he thought the baby would stop being so excited, but after Gaga the channel aired Rihanna's new video, and the baby couldn't stop twitching her arms.

Of course the baby got tired of music at some point. She stopped moving after a while and he noticed she was closing her eyes and reopening them every few seconds. She was indeed tired, so he turned the TV off and put a towel on his shirt and adjusted the baby there.

He started to caress her hair tardily while he felt the baby sucking on her pacifier.

The room was so silent that he thought he could fall asleep too, but he kept soothing the baby first on the couch, then walking back and forth.

He heard footsteps sometime before lunch when he was still cradling the baby. He thought it was Blair, but he knew she was too tired to walk so probably it was Dorota. He was surprised when the person reached the room and said hi.

He motioned to be quiet since the baby was falling asleep.

"What are you doing here? Your girlfriend left a hour ago."

Dan got inside the room and whispered something. "Have you seen her? I need to talk to her. Perhaps Blair knows -"

He trailed him off. "Blair is sick and I'd rather not disturb her at the moment. And no, I haven't seen my sister if not for a minute. She came to bring Blair a gift" he frowned. "Why do you care? You're not playing hide and seek, right?"

"I need to find her. She could have mistaken, err few things for something else" he explained.

"Well she isn't here anymore. Perhaps you can give her a call?"

Dan shrugged. "I don't think calling would help. The situation is bad, bad, bad" he shook is head "but why am I talking about that with you? I should probably go."

"Exactly. My baby has just fallen asleep."

They exchanged few glances for a couple of seconds and Chuck wondered why the hell Dan had come there. Not that he couldn't. He was his step-sister's boyfriend and even if they weren't great friends they had been knowing each other for a lot of years. He guessed that since Dan had disturbed him to find Serena he had probably done something bad.

He motioned for the door and turned before leaving.

Chuck was cuddling Alexandra and was already distracted by that flash encounter. When he saw Dan standing few paces from the door frame he thought that he might had to add something to his speech, or he had forgotten his bag.

"I, I just wanted to ask you something" he said looking around him. "Have you... have you ever... there's some excuse for someone that's been seen touching his co-worker?"

"What?" Chuck asked, not completely getting it.

"Has Blair ever caught you touching one of your secretaries? I mean not touching-touching... Just touching by mistake."

Chuck sighed. He wanted to pass a hand on his temples because Dan's speech was quite confusing and he was starting to have a headache. "Only thing I've ever brushed by mistake were arms or hands. I'm not a man who betrays his woman, Humphrey."

"Has she ever caught you?" he insisted.

"What is this, the quiz of 7pm? Get straight to the point or leave" Chuck rolled his eyes.

Dan bit his lip and nodded. "Okay, okay. Serena caught me" he said with an anxious face. "But nothing happened, I swear! I was in my office and Serena came, and Shelby that is the girl who shares the office with me was looking for material on a high shelf. She was on a little ladder and I was behind her. Not to let her fall, of course. Nothing happened!"

"Then why are you worrying."

Dan seemed struggling with himself and his regret "Because Serena caught us! And all I could say was 'hello', then she hurried outside and left with a taxi and I couldn't explain."

"So you came here to look for her" Chuck assumed.

"Yeah."

"But she's not here."

"I know" Dan passed a hand through his hair. "And my break is almost done, err!"

"I still believe that you should call her, or send a text. If you let time pass, time will pass. She'll think there's something more between you and... Shelby."

Dan seemed desperate. He looked at his wristwatch and bit his lips again. "Fine, I'll call her. I don't have any chance anyway... Ah! Thank you for your... help."

"You're welcome" Chuck smiled bitterly and looked at his baby.

Dan smiled awkwardly probably lightened by an idea, then he turned and left.

Chuck rolled his eyes and noticed the baby was still sleeping, or sorta. He wondered how she didn't wake up, she was probably too tired. He caressed her cheek with his finger and sat down on the couch once again. Dan had let time to lunch pass very fast. The other maid would cook soon and he would eat alone if Blair wouldn't feel to get up.

He suddenly thought about something, and with the baby he went to the kitchen to inform the maid and also Dorota. She also seemed happy with the idea.

…

Blair woke up when she felt like she was too hot. She looked at the nightstand and at the clock, and she noticed it was almost lunch time. She had no idea what she would eat that day, hopefully not some liquid food like soup. She wasn't hungry, but she needed food.

Dorota had come to clean the room and take the dishes she ate for breakfast away. She had told her the baby had eaten her meal and that she was chilling with Chuck in the living room.

Around 1pm Dorota went to her room again.

She wasn't alone, this time she was with the other maids and they were bringing a tiny table. They started to prepare it in front of the bed, as she watched attentively while they put every thing on it. Last thing that came in the room was a tray with various dishes on it followed by Chuck and the baby he had in his arms.

Blair smiled widely when she saw them. The maids soon left the room and closed the door behind them.

"How are you today?" he asked sweetly and with a low voice.

"Fine, thanks" she shrugged. "I saw you succeed in putting Alexandra to sleep."

"Did Dorota tell you?"

She looked down for a brief second, it was evident. "But I didn't ask. She just... said it. She also said you were talking about our sex life with the baby."

He pretended to be surprised. "Me? Never. I would never tell our daughter such things."

He told her to wait and took the baby's chair from the nursery to put Alexandra in it. He perched the chair on the bed and put her in it, then looked at Blair again.

She was watching him with a neutral expression. She wasn't really in the mood to express any happy or sad emotion at the moment, but she wasn't okay with the baby being there, so close to her.

"What if she gets the flu too?"

Chuck looked distracted by the table. "You don't think she's enough far from you?"

She bit her lip nervously. "She's sleeping. It's better if you put her to bed to avoid anything."

"Why don't I check your temperature first?"

She shrugged and tilted her head towards the nightstand where the thermometer lied. Chuck went to the other side of the bed to wait for her to take it and check. She gave the thermometer to him to let him see too.

"102.2" he declared. "I guess I should put Alexandra to bed. If she wakes up while we eat, I'll check up on her."

Blair barely smiled and gave one look at the baby before Chuck took Alexandra away. Her temperature was still high and she hated it, but it wasn't the same thing that was bothering her. She felt relieved that Chuck had taken away the baby from the bed.

It could have happened everything. From being too close and get the virus to accidentally fall from the bed because she would make a bad move while getting off it...

"I hope you're hungry because I asked Dorota to prepare some dishes you like" Chuck said as he got back in the bedroom.

Blair seemed woken up from her thoughts when he talked. She couldn't help but look at him sheepishly, a bit lost and full of worries.

"Anything that's not soup would work fine" she agreed and got up to reach the table.

"Do I look like someone who would eat soup?" he giggled and helped her to sit down.

She smirked and looked at the dish in front of her. She hadn't ate anything like that in three or four days, although she wasn't really in the mood for eating, she decided to give up and finished half of her dish.

Once she was done, the baby cried.

Chuck looked at her with an apologetic look, and she smiled. He came back after few minutes with the baby and remained in the small hallway between their bedroom door and the door of the nursery. He thought that distance wasn't going to affect the baby, she wouldn't get the flu that far. He could still be with Blair and with the baby at the same time.

Blair saw him nursing the baby with a bib and grinned. How could she hadn't let him do that since the beginning? He looked dedicated, while she was just... she decided to ignore her thoughts and kept looking until she coughed. Chuck raised his head from the baby and looked worried at her.

"It's okay, is just the flu" Blair explained.

"You've coughed a lot last night too... are you sure is just the flu? Haven't you a sore throat too?" he asked gently as he kept feeding the baby. "Do you want me to call the doctor?"

Blair bit her lip. "Shouldn't we wait and see if before today meds have an effect?"

"I'll figured we should at least call her to check on you. Besides, the term was this morning."

She sighed and took advantage of the fact that Chuck was looking at the baby to roll her eyes. "I remember it was tomorrow" she clarified.

"This morning."

"I said tomorrow!"

Chuck shook his head and frowned. "Don't you want to be okay to look after the baby, Blair?"

Blair looked down and swallowed. Did she? She felt something toward the baby at the moment. Something like... repulsion. Not hate. It was more something scary about her that terrified Blair. She was afraid for the baby. She was afraid of how she could act with the baby there. She felt so insecure of herself that she didn't feel like being close to Alexandra in that moment. As if she was afraid to break her to pieces. As long as she would stop feeling like this and Chuck was with the baby, she could avoid touching her... right?

"I... do." She answered with a small voice.

He smiled accomplished. "I'll make the call once my baby finishes her bib" he smirked at her.

Blair managed a smile before he left the hallway for the nursery again. The baby had apparently spilled some milk on her cheek and Chuck wanted a towel to clean her.

He didn't come back if not after a while. She kept looking at them from the big bed she was lying on, the image of Chuck with the baby was adorable. He cleaned her and burped her, changed her diaper and then he cuddled the baby until she fell asleep. She had also heard him singing a sort of lullaby. She was almost to tears.

"What it is?" he asked when he saw her looking at an empty spot on the wall.

She shrugged and jolted, she had been too deep in thoughts. "Nothing." She quickly answered when she felt what he was referring to. She had her cheeks a bit wet. "Is just the cold."

He sighed. "Damn flu it chose a bad moment to hit you."

"But at least she has her father to take care of her" she said as Chuck sat down next to her and kissed her cheek.

"It's nothing. I like doing it."

"You're perfect" she said, her voice cracking a bit.

Chuck frowned and she thought he was going to ask more, but he remained silent. He grinned at her and put a strand of her hair behind her ear. The gesture made her shiver that she tilted her neck a bit aside towards him, and her cheek touched for a brief second the hand he had put on her shoulder. He started caressing that spot, and once she raised her head again he looked at her with questioning eyes.

She thought this time after feeling her cheek wet he would ask her about it, but he kept himself silent again and moved his hand on her other shoulder to close her in a hug.

They stayed like that for a while. Both in silence and both still. He thought Blair had fallen asleep once she stopped playing with his other hand, and so he whispered something to her.

"You need to be calm. I know you miss holding Alexandra, but the doctor said it's better this way. Once you'll heal there won't be anyone stopping you from hugging her and nursing her."

Blair opened her eyes slowly and hoped he hadn't seen her. She was almost lying on his lap, so she thought he hadn't. If only Chuck would know what made her cry he would be disappointed. How a bad mother she was. She hated herself so much in that moment.

At that point she heard steps from afar. She pretended she was still sleeping. The person arrived soon in their bedroom, and it was actually her physician. She faked she had just woken up, then Chuck got off bed and the woman started to check on her.

"How are we going today, Mrs Bass?"

Blair shrugged "I feel better than yesterday, but I still have a small cough."

She nodded. "Let's measure the fever to decide" she did as she said. "I thought it was going to go down after the antibiotics I gave to you" the woman frowned and looked at Blair with worried eyes. "Perhaps I need to ask you something more... does your body aches?"

"I happen to feel ache after I eat in my spine and in my breasts. I feel they are sore and as if there was a stone in them" she admitted forgetting Chuck was there.

"I should check on them, perhaps" she prompted Blair to open the shirt of her pajama.

The physician started inspecting and stopped talking. Chuck was few paces behind her and was looking at them with his hands crossed on his chest. He was totally ignorant in medicine, so he wasn't sure of what the woman was doing.

"Mmmh" she said after a minute. "I think I found why the fever hasn't decreased yet. You have an infection, a breast infection I see."

Blair frowned and suddenly felt panicked. "Breast... infection?"

"Yes. It means you have breast fever. That is the reason why you've got the flu, it's your breast that have it. There's no real explanation of why this happens, but it's very common in new and old mothers, it usually occurs few weeks after the baby is born."

Blair looked anxious, and he could see it from behind the woman.

"Is this... treatable?" he asked with a small voice.

The physician turned and smiled widely. "Sure it can. I checked the infection isn't serious. Only way to cure it is with strong antibiotics. The ones I gave you yesterday didn't work because they were probably too weak for this. But after you'll take these new ones, I'm sure fever will disappear and you can start feeding your baby again."

"Isn't dangerous for the baby?" Blair asked.

The woman shook her head. "Not exactly. You've been nursing your daughter since she was born, it's not okay to stop nursing her just because you have fever."

"But you said that -" Chuck interjected, but the physician interrupted him.

"She didn't tell me yesterday about her breasts, and I wanted to check. That's why I gave her those antibiotics and not these ones for the infection" she explained.

"How many days will pass till I'm okay again?"

"A few. You'll still feel your breasts sore when you nurse, but it's normal. The thing would be dangerous if you get fever again, because you could get a more serious infection."

The physician remained for a few minutes to explain the situation and what they should do if the fever would come back. After she left, Dorota went to buy Blair's medications and helped her to take all of them. She fell asleep after a few minutes she had taken the last, and didn't wake up until she heard the baby crying.

It was evening now, and the baby crying also meant baby wanting to eat.

Blair felt her throat close as she realized she had to nurse her again after two days of being steps apart. Her arms started to feel numb as Chuck and Dorota were in the nursery preparing the baby for her. She felt like she wasn't ready yet for that step again, she had to invent something and soon to avoid it.

Dorota was holding the baby when she and Chuck came back to the bedroom. He went to the bed and checked Blair's temperature to see if the fever had decreased. "Good, 98.6. Fever is getting better." He told her as he caressed her cheek.

He put the thermometer away and reached Dorota. He took the baby from her arms and walked to the bed to let Blair take Alexandra.

"You're going to drink mommy's milk again. Aren't you excited?" he murmured to the baby. Blair smiled awkwardly when she heard him talk, it was actually funny. Her smile though faded away when Chuck extended his arm to pass her the baby.

Blair looked reluctant, but didn't want to confess she didn't want to take the baby yet.

"Here, Blair" he prompted, but Blair remained still as if her arms were dead. "What?" he asked when she seemed quite still. "You can take the baby, Blair. You heard the physician."

She bit her lip. "What if we wait till fever disappears completely?"

Chuck frowned but figured she was right... or sort of. He asked Dorota to go downstairs and prepare baby formula for Alexandra while he would wait there with Blair.

Blair felt relieved when he decided to sit on the armchair far from the bed instead of the one closer to her. She wanted the baby, but at the same time she was afraid for the baby that she preferred not to have her closer and try. Nobody knew for sure she would almost drop the baby on the bed by accident again, but nobody was also sure she wouldn't for the second time.

She felt so screwed. She realized as soon as she was observing Chuck nursing Alexandra that there was one reason why she wasn't able to touch her daughter. It was all mental, and she didn't know how to unblock that.

She sighed and got depressed over it. How could someone heal after a trauma?

…

Was really hard for me to write this chapter since I wasn't sure people would get what Blair has. It's really difficult to explain a trauma, even a small one, I just hope I did a decent job with describing it – or starting to. I tried to look at my own traumas to take inspirations and act in a particular way. Hope it stays in character and it's mediocre (I am a bit insecure about my writing ugh) but not bad.

One note, have you seen GG Premiere? What did you think of it? I honestly was relieved by the ending. Blair pregnant as you can see from what I posted, is one of my favorite things to write, so it's obvious I'm happy it hopefully finally happens on the real show and is canon!

Okay, comments are love. See you soon! :)


	15. Yellow Rose

Hi! Sorry for the delay in posting this chapter, but I had a period of mind block. At home happened few things that slowed down my writing and my inspiration. I am already working on the next chapter, so it's coming soon!

Can't wait for GG tonight, YO!

….

"Today baby is one month old!" a joyful Dorota exclaimed early in the morning.

Blair was still in bed. She hadn't the flu anymore, but she still felt a bit tired whenever she woke up.

She still hadn't started giving her milk again to Alexandra. To everyone's surprise, both Dorota and Chuck had given the baby formula to her for over a week, without Blair complaining she wanted to nurse the baby personally.

Of course Chuck had doubted this choice, but then he figured that probably Blair just wanted him to spend some time with their daughter. He couldn't guess what stopped her from taking the baby in her arms, but the fear she still had few lines of fever. _It's__in__my__breasts,__if__I__take__it,__she'll__take__it.__We__can't__risk_; she would always say.

He had found it normal for her to be that protective towards Alexandra at first, but he had arrived to the point of thinking it wasn't just that stopped Blair from bonding with the baby again.

There must have been something behind her behavior, something powerful that wouldn't let her do what one month before she so eagerly decided she would have done alone.

He thought about calling the physician, but then he gave up because Blair could overhear him. He decided he would instead go out before she and their baby could wake up, to buy both a gift. It was Alexandra's first month and he surely didn't want to miss it.

Blair rolled in the bed tiredly and sighed when she saw it empty for the third day in a row.

She noticed Dorota in the baby's room doing something that she couldn't see from that far, and she thought perhaps Chuck was there with her preparing to feed the baby like every morning.

To what it looked to her like annoyance, every day seemed to go that way, with Chuck always out of bed before she could wake, and Dorota following him most of the time to check on the baby if she would wake up before him, and to check if Blair wanted something.

She missed the days when she wasn't pregnant and when she was, simply because back then Chuck would lie next to her if he didn't have to go to a meeting, until she would wake up. He would cuddle her or whisper sweet words in her ear, or also just be there doing nothing, just keep her company. He would surprise her with her favorite things to eat at breakfast, or with flowers in special occasions. In a word, he would make her feel loved.

Not that he hadn't in those weeks. They had had a short encounter before he went to his short trip to Los Angeles, but it had been very painful. Literally painful. He had been really kind not to push himself too much on her, but she still had felt a burning sensation few hours later. She realized that it was because they weren't supposed to do it that early after the baby was born, and that she should had firstly healed. She had blamed herself for not knowing, and Chuck for not knowing either. Their first misstep. Her first mistake.

She had eventually got over it because time had passed, but she couldn't grasp the idea that in behalf of Alexandra now Chuck didn't seem to give her the attention she needed.

She wasn't asking for sex. Sex was the last thing on that list right now. But she was asking for consolation. Attention. She wanted her husband to hold her and give her those attentions he used to give her before the baby would be in this world.

She felt put aside.

It was probably egoistical to think, but that was what she felt she needed in that moment.

Dorota saw her sitting on the bed, and suddenly came with a bib in her hand. "Miss Blair, you awake. Miss Alexandra just woke up, want me to give her to you?"

"Isn't Mr Chuck there with you?" Dorota shook her head. "Is he downstairs?"

"Mr Chuck said he had thing to do and he will come back home before lunch. He asked me to tell you to wear cocktail dress to celebrate baby's first month."

Blair raised an eyebrow. "He did? That's so nice of him, but I need to see if I can find one."

"He told me to check in closet. There's something there for you, Miss Blair."

She smiled with excitement and got off bed. She couldn't think Chuck had thought about her. She was sure he had bought her a dress while she wasn't able to go out, and she couldn't wait to see it. She reached the closet soon to find the chair next to the mirror occupied by a dress.

She remembered it. It was one from the latestMarcJacobs collection, a red, yellow and burgundy sequin dress with floral print and frothy tulle layers, with a satin bow sash on the front. Next to it there was an envelope with a B on it. Blair run towards the chair and touched the sequin. It was so lucid and so brilliant under the light of the closet.

She then opened the envelope to see what he had written.

_I hope this isn't too much for a celebration. I expect you to be already dressed when I come back, or I will personally help you... dress Alexandra like you and be ready for 12. Love -C_

She grinned and hold the note tightly as she kept re-reading. She looked like a girl who had just received her first gift from her first boyfriend, she couldn't contain the enthusiasm of the thought and wasn't able to think straight.

She put the envelope away to touch the dress again, then she dropped it back on the chair to go to the bathroom to have a shower.

She would have already entered the room if it hadn't been for Alexandra crying. Dorota was still there with her, cradling the baby on the couch and trying to calm her down. Once she saw Blair, she motioned something with her hand. Blair understood from her maid's face that she obviously wanted her to go there and check on the baby.

"I need to shower" Blair pointed at her robe as a justification.

"Baby hungry. Alexandra misses you. I think you should hold her."

Blair raised an eyebrow. "How do you know what the baby wants? Can't you give her the bib for me? Chuck has said he's going to get back for lunch, and it's already ten-thirty, so I need to hurry. You need to prepare the baby anyway. Choose a red dress."

She rolled her eyes in annoyance and decided to turn without waiting Dorota to quarrel with her. She knew the maid would go on how they hadn't spent quality time together since she had recovered. Blair hated all this kind of reminders, and so she tried to run from them every time she could even if she felt a bit guilty after a while.

She went out of the bathroom few minutes later after curling her hair and apply make up. She had also wore the new dress, and she felt satisfied by how it looked on her. She smiled at her reflection before she headed out. Dorota wasn't in the baby's room anymore, but she figured from the voice that Chuck was.

She walked to the nursery smiling, and found him sitting on the bed with the baby. He was tickling the belly of the baby to make her laugh, and Alexandra seemed to be pleased by the activity. He didn't notice she was there until the noise her black heels made him turn.

He smiled accomplished while the baby still tried to catch his hand.

"You're here" she said with a rather joyful voice.

"Disappointed?"

Blair giggled and blushed a bit. "No, actually... I thought you were going to get home later."

"It's past noon, Blair." He let her know.

She suddenly changed expression and smiled awkwardly, then checked the clock on the wall. It was really late since she had got in the shower. How could she had spent so many time there?

She bit her lip, unable to find an answer at first. "Are we going out?" she asked, trying to be casual and straight to the point.

Chuck picked the baby up from the bed and placed her in a way she could also face Blair. The baby was starting to change soon and she really looked like her father day after day, she realized. And she hadn't spent much time with her... she felt like she was missing things.

He smirked. "Would it be too lame? We've got something to celebrate" he stood up and walked to her.

"Yes" she simply said, her smile still on.

He moved closer and kissed her lips briefly. "You had Dorota gather all of Alexandra's things or we need to do it now? I've got the limo ready out of the building."

Blair looked surprised when he asked. "What? Is she coming with us?"

"Why wouldn't she? It's her we are celebrating today. If she doesn't come, would be like a birthday without the birthday boy."

She followed him with her eyes while he looked for the baby's coat in the closet. She kept smiling as she started to fear that her day would turn out to be bad. She wasn't aware of what or who was fearing her, but she started to panic when he took all the things they apparently needed, to go out.

They had never gone out since the baby was born, together and with the baby. Blair had been pretty stuck at home taking care of Alexandra first, then trying to recover from breast flu. All of it mostly alone, since Chuck one time avoided her because she wouldn't let him take care of the baby, another time left for a few days, then started to do what she was doing when she came back home from the hospital. She was happy that he was taking his father responsibilities so well, but she was feeling out of the loop and out of his loop.

It was all about the baby.

"Isn't she too young? It's October, the flu season! Shouldn't we call the doctor first?" she asked, trying to warn him and stop him from taking the baby out.

Chuck apparently wasn't freaking out like her. "You afraid the baby can take the flu? She needs to go out, Blair. She can't be kept in forever, you know. I read the risk of getting fever is higher if you stay in. You need to change air every once in a while. The baby needs to see the sun and people around her. And apparently, people want to see her too." He laughed.

Instead of being happy her baby was finally going to get fresh air, Blair's smile faded a bit. Chuck's expression was still, he was waiting for an answer while Alexandra kept playing with the collar of his shirt. Blair panicked more once he turned seeing she would probably not answer him. He started to put the coat on the baby. He also put a tiny hat on her head just in a case.

She should had to feel relieved he was taking precautions, but she wasn't feeling sure of it. She was scared of many things at the moment, too many to tell Chuck or anybody.

"We're ready" he declared. "Are you, or do you need to look for a clutch?"

Blair grinned briefly. "I'm ready. Let me take my coat, are you sure there is nothing more we need once out? A scarf, perhaps?"

Chuck sighed and touched her arm. "Is going to be fine. Trust me. I've told Dorota to put all we needed in this bag. She'll be okay" he tried to reassure her. "And you will be too once you'll see where are we going."

Her tiny smile became huge once he sweetly kissed her cheeks, and informed her he would wait next to the elevator downstairs.

While inside of the limo, their phones beeped at the same time. It happened what Blair would find amusing months before. Gossip Girl posted something about them and the baby, with a picture of them exiting their building few minutes before. The baby wasn't visible since Chuck had put her in her stroller, but she was sure someone would take pictures of her soon anyway. Going out with Alexandra sounded like a bad idea.

She folded her hands a lot during the ride, while Chuck was looking outside of the window. Alexandra was in her stroller few paces from them, and Blair couldn't help but look at her.

In her heart, she felt like she wanted to take her and hold her against her chest like few weeks before. Another part of her, though, despised the idea. It seemed as if that part was winning, and was trying to make her appear like a bad mother, or so she thought.

Fact was that she felt really bad for it, but she couldn't help it. She wasn't sure what would unblock her from taking the baby. She surely didn't want to tell Chuck about it, he would call someone and people would know.

She sighed and put her phone angrily in her clutch, and looked away from the baby. Chuck's hand touched hers and she turned again. She was surprised he had noticed something was wrong, probably from the way she had placed her phone back in her bag.

She sighed again, trying to find a good excuse. "She has already spotted us" she complained. "I wonder how much it will take for her to get a picture of our baby."

"You don't want her to be photographed? If you want, I could-"

Blair silenced him. She knew what he was going to say. "No deals with the press, please. Is just... I don't want her to be chased down by paparazzi and stupid young girls who just want to see how Blair Waldorf and Chuck Bass's daughter looks like."

"I see. But we can stop them from doing it." He suggested.

"With what? A big restraining order?" she rolled her eyes.

"What do you say, huh? We can't lock her in. She needs to explore the world."

Blair licked her lips. "We'll buy a garden where she'll see bees and butterflies and flowers."

Chuck laughed, "A garden, in New York? Blair, please. Is easier to get all people who get too close to the baby, banned."

She rolled her eyes and looked away, that she noticed Chuck had let go of her hand after a while. It had been too short amount of time he had hold her.

They were stuck in the traffic, and she didn't talk again for a while. She started to wonder what Chuck was up to, where they would go with Alexandra, and how would be their day. She had too much questions in her head, that she was asking to herself to occupy the time. She didn't want to worry more than it was necessary, of course silly thoughts would start to form.

Chuck didn't try to start a conversation either. He looked quite absorbed by what was out of the window, as if he didn't know. The other thing he randomly did was look how the baby was doing in the stroller.

Alexandra looked asleep from where she was. She was being quiet, and she wished she would be later too, so she would spend some time with Chuck without being disturbed.

The feeling of jealousy she was started to have towards the baby was back. She couldn't help but close her eyes in pain once it flashed her mind. She couldn't be jealous of her daughter just because she was spending time with her father. She could spend time with her too, if she really wanted it. If she didn't think the baby would not be safe in her arms.

The baby started to cry when the limo abruptly slowed down.

Chuck soon carried the stroller towards them, and picked the baby up without saying anything.

"It's okay, it's okay. Daddy is here. Are you hungry?" he asked the baby as if she could answer him. Blair found this kind of cute, and it helped diminishing her bad karma. The baby stopped crying as soon as he cuddled her. She looked impressed while he cradled the baby. She was sure if he was a single dad he would be amazing.

Chuck felt she was watching, and instinctively looked at her.

"Want me to give you the baby? I'm sure you want to nurse her."

Blair tried to dismiss the suggestion. "What if she spits on my new dress?"

He nodded. "Right. We don't want mommy to get a stain on the dress daddy has bought her, do we?" he asked to the baby. Blair heard her squeal in response.

As soon as Chuck cleaned the baby, Blair decided it was time for them to go out of their limo.

They had arrived in front of a building a while before and thought it was better for the baby to finish her bib and try to sleep before going in. This time it had gone well, Alexandra seemed quite tired and once she finished feeding, she fast fell asleep. Chuck put her back in her stroller, and Arthur came to help them out of the limo. Chuck also drove the stroller towards the entrance of the hotel Plaza, the destination he had chosen for the day.

Blair acknowledged that they were there after she recognized the gold details of the entrance, and the hall. She wondered why he had decided to go there. Not that she minded, it was a great hotel that one, but she imagined he would have taken them to a French restaurant or something.

"Follow me" he told her once inside. The two walked towards the elevator and got in. They weren't alone for Blair's annoyance. The couple who was also there, and the two girls next to them, suddenly started to watch them and the baby with curiosity. They already knew who they were, or what?

The older woman looked at Blair, that was looking at her, then she moved closer to the stroller to see better. "How beautiful is your baby. May I ask how many weeks has?"

"Why do you want to know?"

"Blair" Chuck interjected, then he smiled at the woman.

"What? Is not that I need to tell people about my life."

Chuck rolled his eyes and looked at the woman again. "Excuse me for my wife. Our daughter is one month old. She's turning one month just today."

Blair snorted. She was now getting super protective.

"Don't worry" the woman said. "And compliments for your daughter. She's beautiful!"

He smirked. "Of course. She's all her mother" he answered and looked at Blair, but she wasn't looking at him. She had her arms crossed on her chest, and she was focusing on the carpet.

The elevator's bell rang once it reached the floor the woman and her male companion had to go. She excused herself and went out, leaving Chuck, Blair and their baby, alone with the two young girls.

Blair sighed, already tiresome. And the day had just started.

She looked at the girls sidelong. One of them was wearing a really short skirt, and a pair of high boots. Her friend was dressed more casual, with a pair of jeans and a normal shirt. She noticed the girl with the skirt was looking at Chuck, and she suddenly glared at her.

"Aren't you Chuck Bass?" she asked all of a sudden.

Blair looked at Chuck, and he felt like he woke up from his reverie. He hadn't paid attention to those girls until this one had talked. He nodded.

"Then it's true you finally took your daughter out" she continued. "I didn't think it would happen, to be honest."

"What makes you think that?"

The other girl broke the silence. "She thought you made up you were pregnant in order to get married, she thought all your publicity was staged."

Blair rolled her eyes. "What?"

"Come on, it's not like it would be the first time" the girl with the short skirt said. "You're Blair Waldorf, you've been telling lies for a long time. I wouldn't believe you two had a real baby if I didn't see it personally. I actually didn't think I would do it today!"

Blair raised an eyebrow, but she wasn't able to answer. Chuck saw her indecision on what to answer, so he answered for her.

"That's very considerate" he said before the doors opened again. He stopped the girls before they were going out. "I just need to clear that this baby, here" he pointed to the stroller, "was really wanted. So once you think that Blair Waldorf is a liar and would fake her pregnancy, think again. Because if there's one thing I know is that I've always been wanting to marry her, and have her babies. And I definitely think she feels the same. If you think what you see is fake, then you should had never talked to me. Cheers."

The girl remained interdict after the doors closed, and Chuck looked away. Blair felt like smiling widely at his defense against the girls, that the anger and the feeling of being worthless she started to perceive, started to fade.

She reached for his hand and then for his cheek, which she kissed. He turned to her, to grin.

No explanations needed once they reached the roof. Of course he would take her there, it was his favorite place.

Chuck drove the stroller towards the table reserved at the end of the corridor, right next to the balcony. Blair thanked that the roof had a private and closed area, so that the baby wouldn't get a cold because of the wind blowing.

She saw that he had reserved that place just for them, the other part of the room was empty if not for some waiters adjusting few things.

He helped her sit down once they reached their table, and told something to the metre before sitting down too.

"What is this place?" Blair asked with curiosity.

He seemed pleased by this attitude, he felt like she was happy to be there. "It's exclusive. It's ours. And it's called Alexandra's Oasis."

"You bought it?"

He nodded.

"Why didn't you tell me anything!" she giggled.

"It had to be a surprise, you know. You're really hard to surprise" he smirked.

"You always surprise me" she answered sheepishly.

He looked sweetly at her. "There's also themed and personalized dishes. Look at the menu."

Blair took the menu in her hands and started to read. She couldn't believe the place had several dishes with names linked to their family and friends. There was an Humphrey salad, a Waldorf foie gras, a Van der Woodsen ravioli, and a Bass meat. There was also a Waldass special dish with rare ingredients.

"That's incredible, Chuck" she gushed. "We also share a dish! If I didn't know Waldass was a mix of our surnames, I would think it was a dirty dish."

"Who said it isn't?" he winked.

She looked down and blushed. He always had that power on her.

It seemed Chuck had managed to make her anxiety diminish. It was almost two o' clock, and they had just finished eating the main course. The Waldorf dish was actually really good. Chuck had drank a glass of red wine with it, but she didn't dare to sip. She thought it was better to avoid alcol until she would stop breastfeeding, as the physician suggested. She rolled her eyes at her own thought once she realized she had stopped nursing her baby already.

Alexandra had woken up again when they were about to eat their dessert. Chuck had decided to let her cry and not fall at her desire of being picked up soon, but the moans were too high-pitched to be ignored that he picked her up anyway.

Blair kept eating her cake while Chuck tried not to let the baby take the fork on the table.

It was rather hilarious to see, and it made her feel giddy and more confused. She felt too moody or worse, schizophrenic. Her feelings were too mixed. One minute she was nervous, the next she watched Chuck and Alexandra, and smiled.

She felt so messed up at the moment. She wasn't sure what did she have, but she didn't want to go anywhere to ask for help. She felt she could manage her situation alone. The thought of telling someone about her fears, scared her to death. Would she look too lame? Too stupid? Tell somebody how she was being jealous of a baby, and how she really wanted to cuddle that baby, but she didn't have the will to do so... looked crazy. She felt crazy.

"Blair?"

She looked up from her cake and saw Chuck frowning at her. She instantly put her grin back on, and shook her head.

"Sorry, I was lost in my thoughts" she explained.

"You sure you're okay? Want me to ask for something?" he gestured to call a waiter.

She soon shook her head. "It's okay. I just need a glass of water" she grinned. She took a napkin and cleaned her mouth, then just like she said, she sipped the glass of water she had in front of her.

Over think about her worries wasn't good. It didn't help her mood swings, and it wasn't helping her to enjoy the day. Chuck had been sweet taking her there, at the Plaza. She was still surprised that he had bought the restaurant on the roof, she didn't think he would start another deal after the one gone wrong in Los Angeles. He never stopped.

"What do you say we have a tour? You haven't seen half of this. The landscape on the West area is amazing. You can even see the Empire State Building" Chuck said.

"I say... yes."

Blair took her clutch with her and put her coat back on when he took her on the other side of the restaurant. There was a glass door framed by a flowery decoration leading outside on the balcony. She found that really interesting, and modern. She wondered who did create the place, if he had rebuilt it, or if he had just bought it.

He had covered Alexandra better than before this time, putting her under the wool sheets of the stroller not to let the baby get a cold. She was now calm with her pacifier in her mouth, and as a reflex Blair seemed okay too.

They reached the balcony and she looked around her in awe.

"Wow, that's amazing. It reminds me of your hotel in Brooklyn."

"Glad you appreciate it. I honestly couldn't chose a better roof to seed my name on."

She smiled widely when he let go of the stroller and went closer to kiss her lips briefly.

"Is because the Plaza is your direct contender, or what?" She was curious.

With a hand on her hip, he let out a giggle and looked down. He looked a bit shy. "That's the last reason that lead me to buy this place."

"Then why did you buy it?" she asked with wonder.

"Because it holds a certain pull on me. Too many things have happened here" he reminded her.

She remembered what he meant, and her heart felt lighter. She closed the distance between them and cupped her hand on his cheek to push him towards her, and kiss him hard. It wasn't like the kisses he had given her earlier, this one was feverish.

She had wanted to do it since two days before. He hadn't kissed her passionately since she got the flu. She wondered why he was being stingy with affection, but it probably had to do with the baby.

She moved her lips on his harder once she thought that, that she had to stop at a certain point, because she had no breath left.

Chuck was panting when she recoiled back. "If you wanted other meat, all you had to do was ask" he joked and smirked.

She blushed and looked at the landscape again. The sun was high in the sky, and her mood also looked good. She wondered how long it would last.

Back at home, Alexandra had fallen asleep again. Chuck had asked Dorota to take her to bed since he wanted to kick off his shoes and rest. Blair had already took her dress off and put on a nice nude slip. He saw her adjusting the covers over her body, and look pretty lost. He thought she was perhaps thinking about something.

Blair smiled a bit when he jumped on the bed after he took off his clothes too, and changed into his pajamas. He moved closer to her and circled her shoulder with his arm. She put her head on his arm, and her hand on his stomach.

"Have you had fun today?" he asked with a soft tone.

Blair hesitated before answering. "The restaurant is amazing, really. I couldn't not love it."

"I guess Alexandra will appreciate it too when she'll grow up" he casually commented. "Have you seen how much she's grown? She started to squeal."

Blair didn't answer. She instead looked at the open door of the nursery in front of her.

Chuck didn't add anything either for a while. She thought perhaps he had fallen asleep, but she was surprised when he talked again.

"Are you okay, Blair?" he said with a low voice. Probably he thought she had fallen asleep too.

She still didn't answer, but shrugged against him.

"I've got the feeling something isn't good. Perhaps it's me? Are you still afraid for Alexandra?" he asked quietly. "I just don't want to look at you when you see her, and fear for her. I know it's hard, but you're going to nurse her again or you won't be able to do it anymore."

Blair sighed. "Who knows if the flu isn't coming back. I don't think is safe for the baby to be around me now... plus, she still needs to get her vaccine shots."

"You also said this one week ago after the fever had diminished" he reminded her. "Are you sure it's not just that? You're not even touching her."

"Who tells you I'm not?" she asked a bit aggressive. Bad move.

Chuck sighed with hesitation. "I know because during this past week I haven't left the house to be next to you and the baby. When she is awake, she's always with me or Dorota. I know you agreed that me and her can take care of Alexandra, but what about you? You're her mother."

Blair turned to face him. They were so closer. "That's not true, and you know it."

He raised an eyebrow. "What's wrong, Blair?" he asked, avoiding her affirmation. "If you have some problem... we can seek help. You can talk to someone about it. It's not normal you don't pick the baby up."

She glared at him. "Again, who told you that? You're not always in this room, so you can't know. Don't act like you're omniscient."

"I know because Dorota told me. She came worried to me earlier today, telling me you refused to look after the baby before getting in the shower. She got a migraine because the baby wouldn't stop crying."

Blair bit her lip. "Dorota is too worried" she said and then moved away from him. She turned on the other side of the bed, and looked at the wall in front of her.

Chuck couldn't help but sigh. He wasn't sure of what bothered her, but he felt like he needed to know. He ignored her distance and moved closer to get behind her. It didn't matter he was talking to her back, she would listen.

"I know how hard this is for you" he murmured. "You're scared. Well, don't think I'm not scared. I'm scared more than you. I'm afraid I give too much milk to the baby, for example. Or that I didn't put the sheets well, and that because of that she's going to get a cold. I fear I may not know what to do with her, how to play with her. I'm really scared she would hate me once she'll grow up. I'm scared of many things you don't even imagine. But I keep up. For us."

Blair sobbed silently but didn't turn. "You can't understand."

"Try to explain."

She inhaled deeply and put a hand on her chest, she was holding the sheets with the other. She felt cold all of a sudden. "It's not important, really. I'm sleepy anyway."

"Blair... please." He pleaded.

She hold on the covers more tightly. "You weren't here, you weren't here when that happened" she sobbed. "It was when you... when you left for Los Angeles. I was with the baby in her room, tired... too tired to focus, and... I-I almost dropped her. She-she almost fell on my lap" she said in between moans as she started to cry.

Chuck didn't know what to say. He decided to put his arm around her, and just lie there in silence until she would calm down. He kissed her hair while she cried. She was holding on his hands now, and not on the sheets anymore.

That was going to be a long night.

…

I know, Blair may seem really confused right now. It was hard to write mood swings, I just hope it did not look too messed up. I apologize in advance for mistakes.


	16. Peach Rose

Wow, has been almost a month since I last posted and I'm sorry. I've had a busy life and a writer block so I couldn't finish this chapter when I had to. My family has been going through a bad period so I need to take care of the house and my inspiration faded a bit. I hope anyway to overcome this problem soon.

I will start the new chapter tomorrow. I may also post something new I started before I even wrote the first chapter of this fic. I do wonder if you love CB AU fics... I'll let you know when I post. I also plan to update my other fics, if times would let me! Have a good read :)

…

Blair kept crying the whole night while he held her. He couldn't and didn't want to fall asleep until she would be soothed. He was angry at himself for not seeing how wrecked up Blair was. He had ignored her signs of help. From asking him to stay, to keep the baby far from her.

He couldn't think Blair was being other than just a protective mother.

He figured she felt wore out. The baby was taking all the life they had, since it was needed that one of them would look after her for a couple of hours everyday. Blair had barely touched Alexandra anymore for over a week, and so he was the only one running the daily routines.

The day after they were scheduled to run one important errand. The baby needed to get her vaccine shots that day, and since the study of her physician was also there, Blair was scheduled to have her post pregnancy check up. He was sure she remembered. When her physician had come to check on her breasts flu, she had booked an appointment in advance. It was also marked on her blackberry calendar, the alarm would go on in a couple of hours.

Lost in his train of thoughts, he noticed that the dawn was about to break. He hoped Blair had at least slept. He didn't care he did not. He stretched his leg under the covers trying not to move too much, and felt the grip on his hand tighten. He understood from that firm hold that she was awake. He stretched out his other leg as a signal for her, hoping she would get it.

She held his hand tighter in response. "Don't go" she whispered softly.

Chuck got closer and kissed her hair. "You should sleep. You have time to rest."

"Until we have to go to my doctor?" she asked, surprising him. He thought she would try not to remind him of the check up she would have to do in the day.

He sighed. "Alexandra needs to see her pediatrician too" he said, he lowered his voice a bit. "She needs to have her vaccine shoots. Winter is coming and is safer if she does it before the flu season, don't you think?" he tried to ask casually.

Blair didn't answer at first, and he thought he had done wrong asking her about the doctor. Then he realized that the best thing to do when you had a fear, was face it. Alexandra was their daughter, and Blair would see her for a long time. She couldn't avoid her, even if she wanted to. A baby requires all the attentions of her parents.

"She needs to be okay" she finally said. "Right?"

He was content she had agreed. "Of course, and so do you. You both need to be okay."

Blair rubbed her head on the pillow, and shrugged. Then she entwined her fingers with his, and brought that hand on her heart.

She was going to be fine.

….

Blair's blackberry alarm woke him up. He noticed it was half past eight, and that the other side of the bed was actually empty. He snorted with annoyance and got out of bed to go in Alexandra's room. Dorota was there and was cleaning some things of the baby.

"Is Blair here?" he asked with a rather worried voice. He hoped he didn't look hopeless.

Dorota stopped was she was doing and answered him. "Miss Blair gone out alone minutes ago. She didn't say bye, but I heard elevator's bell."

He sighed and shook his head. "Prepare the bag of the baby and dress her up. I'm going to get dressed too then we're going out" he said as he walked towards the door.

"Is something wrong with Miss Blair?" Dorota asked.

Chuck didn't turn but bit his lip. "Nothing, Dorota. Nothing."

Less than a hour later Chuck and Alexandra went out of their building. This time he didn't bring the stroller, but asked Arthur to put it in the back of the limo if he needed it. He put Alexandra in the baby carrier, thinking if any he would have both hands free and the baby with him.

He was sure when his phone beeped after he had arrived at the building where their physician was, that Gossip Girl had sent a blast about him and the baby. She had wanted to see how the Bass baby would look like, but since they only went out the day before and Alexandra had mostly been in the stroller, none had had the chance to take her a picture. He didn't want to pick his phone from his coat, but he thought Gossip Girl could had actually posted something about Blair and where she was. It turned out it was what he thought.

_Spotted: Chuck Bass heading out of his limo to run some errands. Looks like his little brunette daughter was with him. I finally got to see her, thanks to some kind reader! Really, good job Bass. I'd compliment your wife too, if someone wouldn't have seen her rush in the building. Apparently she did look quite satisfied... time to have sex again, perhaps? _

He rolled his eyes at the sarcasm of the blogger and reached the elevator fast to go up to the study of the physician where he was sure Blair surely still was. He pushed on the doorbell once he arrived, and a young secretary came to open.

"Hello, can I help you?"

He smirked. "Actually, yes. My wife had an appointment today, I wondered if she came."

The woman frowned at first, then smiled again. "Of course. Mrs Bass is still here if you wanna wait for her. Doctor Crane just received her."

"Thanks" he said and got in to wait on the couch in front of the door of the study.

After a while, the door opened. Blair was smiling when she went out, but her smile kinda faded when she saw him and Alexandra. "What are you doing here, Chuck?"

He stood up. "Waiting for you."

"Oh, there's no need to wait for me. I'm done, thankfully."

He nodded. "I've got the limo waiting to take us to the pediatrician -" he was cut off.

Blair kept her index up as she talked. "No no. I can't come with you, sadly."

"_We_ have an appointment, Blair. Alexandra's doctor wants to see us both. She's going to have her first vaccine shoots! Don't you want to see her getting protected from flu?"

She stopped before she could reach the door, and looked serious at him. "I have some stuff I remembered I have to do, actually. Why don't you take her alone?"

He sighed and looked at the baby. Alexandra was peacefully looking at him too. "Don't you want to be there for your baby?" he asked, thinking he had been too harsh. Blair didn't turn this time, probably both because she didn't want to meet his eyes and because he knew he was making her feel guilty with that affirmation.

She cleared her voice once they finally got out of the building. "You left me for two days, Chuck. To go to Los Angeles and buy a stupid property. You haven't talked me for a week when I didn't want you to take care of Alexandra. Now you're talking with me about being there? Spare me." She said as she fast walked towards her limo.

Chuck followed her. "And since then I regretted it. I'm still trying to do as much as I can to help you and the baby. If you'd let me."

"I don't need help. I'm fine."

"You're not. You are an emotional wreck. You can't even hold your own baby" he tried not to talk too loud. "I haven't forgot what you told me last night."

Blair sighed and looked at her clock. "Wow, it's late. Gotta keep going!" she said as she ignored his affirmation, and went closer her limo. Chuck didn't let her in yet.

"Blair, please. If you don't want to do it for me, do it for Alexandra. She loves you. She needs you. You can't be in denial about this."

She bit her lip and blinked. "I'm late. I'll be home for lunch. We'll have time later."

Chuck sighed loudly and didn't add anything. He watched as Blair got in her limo and left, hoping her driver would turn around and park again and she would go out of the vehicle to inform him and the baby that she was going to come with them to the pediatrician.

Too bad it never happened.

….

Chuck and the baby got back home right before lunch. He had called the pediatrician asking to postpone their appointment. He wanted Blair there with them so he thought it was the right thing to do.

He expected Blair to be there already, instead he found Serena sitting on their couch. Serena was all joyful when she saw him and the baby.

"Hey! Finally my little princess came back home!" she said as she approached them. The baby moaned some noises when she caressed her tiny hand. "You squeal now, how cute! You are too adorable. Can I take you?" she asked, and Chuck nodded. He freed the baby out of the carrier, then gave her to Serena.

She went to sit on the couch while Chuck got rid of his coat. He was somehow feeling hot. He reached the girls after a minute.

"The baby has grown so much. Look at her hands! Now she looks more like both of you. You, actually... the baby has your eyes."

He shrugged, his mind was elsewhere at the moment.

"Is everything alright? You look distant."

Chuck turned abruptly. "Wonderful. If you want perhaps you can give the bib to Lexie? She has to eat" he changed subject and stood up. "I'm going to prepare it."

"Wait, Chuck. Where is Blair?"

He shook his head and a harsh smile appeared on his face. "She's going to get home soon."

"What? Wasn't she with you? I thought she was when you took -"

"Yes, when I went to the study of the doctor. She wasn't with me."

Serena looked surprised. "She didn't want you there for her post partum check up? Last time I went here she didn't want me to take the baby for more than a minute, and now she seems she's leaving her all the time with you."

"Right." Chuck murmured to himself.

"What?"

Chuck sighed and touched his chin roughly. "I don't know where Blair is. I don't know what Blair has."

"Try to explain. You know you can count on me" Serena said motioning him to come sit down next to her.

He refused and decided to stay where he was. He passed a hand through his hair, appearing annoyed but inside tremendously worried. "It's a problem between me and her" he tried to move to another topic.

Serena frowned. "Have you guys argued over something? I'm sure you'll fix things. Give Blair time, you know how she is."

He rolled his eyes and absently looked away.

Not that he didn't want to tell anybody what he was worried about, he just felt it was a private matter, a matter between husband and wife. He knew deep down there could be more than that. Blair looked scared and used denial to fake she was alright. She was perhaps traumatized because of what had happened when he wasn't at home?

It looked lame from the outside. Someone could say that even if Blair would have dropped the baby, she would have fallen on the bed. Hence she wouldn't get harmed at all.

He had read few articles and stuff on-line, before the baby was born. In every website, they described the moments after the deliver very were tough for the new mother. It was likely she would get depressed, and really down, in the first two weeks. This was purely hormonal and psychological, women usually went from the high of giving birth to the many responsibilities of becoming a new mother.

He had asked a lot of times to take care of the baby, but she had dismissed every time. Now he wasn't saying it was Blair to blame, but probably she had been too anxious and overprotective of Alexandra not to ask for help. He was her husband after all. He also was Alexandra's father. He knew that he had to help, even if he realized it just now. He shouldn't had had go to Los Angeles and neither avoid her for a week. She was right about that.

He sighed when he thought that he probably hadn't been stubborn and tried again when Blair didn't want to let him look after the baby.

He had been closed in his study for a week, he only saw the baby at night when Blair was asleep, while she was in charge of everything regarding the baby. She may had needed help. Other than physical help, emotional help. He hadn't thought about that at all. He had been immature and thought about his stupid job.

When they had finally made up, and Blair had agreed that he could also do his part, he had flown to Los Angeles to go buying a stupid hotel and t had been a fiasco. He was also to blame. He hadn't been there for her when she most needed him.

He may been taking care of Alexandra more than her now, but he hadn't taken care enough of Blair when he had to.

He was distracted when Gossip Girl sent another blast. Serena was too busy to play with Alexandra to pay attention to him. Apparently Blair had been spotted at Saks and had few bags in her hands. Shopping therapy, perhaps.

He went to the kitchen to bring Alexandra's bib to Serena. The baby was unusually calm in his stepsister's arms.

"Wow, never thought you'd be this good with babies, sis." He commented, and Serena grimaced. She took the bib from his hands and then looked at the baby trying to put the bib in the baby's mouth.

Chuck looked diverted as Alexandra not too gently pushed the bib away, trying to get a grip on it. Serena kept herself calm and silent while she tried to get the baby suck on the bib, but it did not work. The baby started to squeal and moved her hands rapidly as a one-month could. Serena wasn't giving up, but she looked quite annoyed by the baby not doing what she wanted to. Chuck giggled. He was more amused than he should.

"You need to be sweet to the baby, Serena. You can't pretend she latches at the bib that easily if you are rude."

She scowled at him. "I'm not being rude at all!" she complained. "She doesn't want to suck it."

He made a quiet laugh. "I swear if I didn't know about who you were talking about I would have taken this statement as a dirty joke."

"Still the same old Chuck Bass, I see" her eyebrows went up as Chuck winked.

For a moment, he felt relieved. Serena had managed to make him smile, but he hadn't forgot his worries. He wanted to know where Blair was and wasn't sure where he could find her.

….

She was sure someone had seen her.

She had heard the camera of a cellphone snap. Someone had surely taken a picture of her while she was at Saks, or it was at Prada's? She had been spending the whole morning after she went to her physician, to do shopping.

She felt like it was the right thing to do even if that far it hadn't gone the way she wanted. She had visited her favorite places to buy a new dress or any other outfit from the new fashion season, but she hadn't been able to find much. The only things she had bought were shoes and bags, and some winter accessories. It was all fault of what the physician had told her.

Over a month had passed since Alexandra was born, and she sadly noticed she still hadn't gone back to her size 4. She asked herself then why the dress Chuck had given to her few days before fitted her so well. She hadn't taken a look at the size because she had been too giddy to finally try on a new piece after two months of being at home to take care of herself before she gave birth, and then to look after the baby.

She wondered if Chuck had bought her a size 6 or a 4. It was stupid to be concerned about the size, she thought. It wasn't that he had found her uglier because her legs and tummy were larger than they were a year before.

He had never complained about that, but she felt like he silently missed her body pre-partum.

This was another reason that was making her feel too bad that day. It wasn't enough to be feeling off because of her inability to get closer to her baby again. Her body was answering in a way she couldn't control too. It was as if her whole body and mind were against her, and she wasn't sure what to do.

He probably had described her mood very well. She was an emotional wreck.

In a critical situation as this one, she wasn't sure what to do. She wasn't feeling ready to get back home. She had challenged herself to find a size 4 dress that suited her before the day would end. Usually she never gave up. She was too stubborn to do so.

She would avoid eating lunch if it was the case.

She decided to change her plans sooner than expected. It was almost evening when she felt so tired that she couldn't stand another size delusion. She went in the dressing room and tried a dress, deciding it would be the last for the day. She would be luckier the next day.

As expected, it didn't fit but a small space on her back. She felt tears forming in her eyes but she didn't want to give up. With a bit of help she could have her zip closed and her dress would be fitting like a glove.

She went out of the dressing room to find none around. Her eyes sagged. She hadn't strength to find anyone. She was about to get in the room again and buy the dress anyway when a voice called her. She turned and managed a weak smile when she saw her mother-in-law standing few steps from where she was.

"Need help find something?" Lily asked as she leaned forward to her.

Blair's voice quavered when she answered her. "I... was about to go. I've already bought what I needed to." She explained and turned to make Lily see the bags behind her.

The woman studied her. "You sure you don't need help? You can't close your zip?" she asked. "The dress is lovely. Blue suits you so much."

She made another weak smile. She was sure Lily was being sincere. She usually was.

"Would you... help me?" she muttered.

Lily grinned with enthusiasm. "Let me see if I can do it" she agreed and reached her. She moved her hands calmly on her back and tried to move the zip up. Apparently it wasn't working. She sighed. "Seems like I can't close it. Are you sure they gave you the right size? This dress doesn't look like it fits."

Exhaustion drew Blair's face down but she tried not to show it. "But this is my size. I should probably try not to breathe too much in this dress" she giggled nervously.

Lily didn't seem to buy it. "Blair. I've been pregnant three times and I know how long does it take to go to your original weight. You don't have to feel ashamed to buy a dress of a larger size. You'll be like you were before in few months. Give it time."

"What are you talking about. I haven't gained much weight while I was pregnant" she made an awkward smile. "Is just this dress, the zip doesn't work well."

Her mother-in-law gave her a tolerant smile. "If you say so then I'll call one of the salesladies to help you since I can't seem able to close this dress." She said with quiet voice. "Or you can just ask for another size. It won't be the end of the world. Right?" she patted Blair's shoulder before she pirouetted to leave.

Blair pursed her lips. "What if I remain like this forever?" she asked when Lily was already far from her.

The woman stopped in her trails and turned briefly. She was serious now. She decided to reach her again. She didn't want the other people in the boutique to hear.

"You won't. You just have pregnancy weight that you'll surely lose soon, if that is why you're worried." Lily said with a rather soothing tone. "If you're worried that somebody else won't like you... that is another story. Anyone that loves you likes you for what you are. It doesn't matter whether you're fat or skinny or dye your hair purple. Those people will never leave you. They'll accept you because they love you."

Lily's words should have had a convincing influence on her, but they didn't. She thought she was so unappealing now. Fatter and with her hair not in place. She was already pushing away her daughter because of a fear, she wanted to push Chuck away too?

Blair's eyes went dull and she hoped not to cry. She usually did whenever she let out some thoughts she usually kept for herself because they were too scary to face.

"Did something happen, Blair? You look so exhausted."

She closed her eyes for a brief second before answering. "Can we have a drink? I think I am dehydrated. I'm going to get out of this dress."

Lily smiled warmly. "Of course. But buy that dress. It's too nice not to be purchased. If you want I'm gonna ask for another size."

Blair smiled coyly and got back in the dressing room to get dressed.

One hour and half later, twenty missed calls later, Blair and Lily had gone to a bar she used to go with Chuck. She loved that place because they baked great croissants. Now whenever she saw one she felt disgusted. It reminded her of how much weight she had gained.

Lily had taken a tea since it was around 6pm, while she had taken a simple black coffee. It was the first thing she had drank since she had gone out that morning.

"So Blair. Serena told me yesterday that you had a meeting with your doctor today. Did every thing go well? I ask because I know you had breast flu. I wanted to make sure you're good."

Blair wanted to roll her eyes at the question. Why did Serena tell her mother about her appointments? What did Lily care about that? She tried not to be rude because of the anger that came after that admission. She would talk to Serena about this.

She sipped her coffee and smiled politely. "Everything is okay. She told me I should not worry about flu unless it comes back again."

"What about the other aspects? Are your abdomen and pelvic area alright? I've had a severe bleeding for few weeks after Eric was born. I could not go out without any pills. My stomach hurt so bad" she asked with an interested tone, but Blair looked down as to let her know those were probably private informations. "I'm so sorry Blair. I didn't want to embarrass you."

"You aren't. Is just..." she started to tell her as she contemplated an empty table not so far from Lily "I feel as if no one understands this."

"I'm here to listen to you. I know sometimes it takes a mother to understand a mother."

Blair bit her lip frowned. "Were you scared to be a mother?" she asked sheepishly.

Lily looked down for a brief second and smiled at the memory. "Many times. I'm still scared to be a mother now. Your children are always unpredictable and you don't want to hurt them when they do something wrong. Sometimes you need to be hard on them but always be there for them. I... I've been quite distant from Serena's and Eric's lives when they were little. I was lost in my love stories and I haven't been properly there for them as a mother. I still fear sometimes that I will make a bad choice, but that is inevitable. We are not perfect" she said with conviction.

She felt a bit relieved about that. Lily didn't seem to have been a good mother, but Serena and Eric were still there for her. Her first son Scott was also there for her every once in a while. She thought that probably Alexandra would too for her. No matter how many mistakes your family does, you still love them. Problem with Blair was a bit different though.

"I know you are probably scared, Blair" she started to say. "You have the right to be. But try to face your problems before it's too late. You never know what's gonna happen tomorrow."

Blair frowned. "What do you mean?"

"I mean don't be scared to do certain things. If you don't make it the first time, try again. Ask Charles for help if you are too insecure about something. Just don't put your kids aside. They feel it when they are neglected."

She looked down and drank another bit of her coffee. Lily was probably right. The only thing missing there was strength. She didn't feel she was strong enough to face the problem.

"If something happened, Blair... don't keep it inside of you. If it's something about the baby, Charles can figure it out with you. Now that there's Alexandra with you too, you are a family. You should take care of problems together." She explained with a soft voice.

Blair made a smile and looked down at her phone again. It was vibrating and it was the same person calling. He had been calling for hours.

She heard the chair in front of her make a noise on the floor. Lily was standing up and fixing her coat. "I'm sorry but I need to leave. Tonight me and Rufus are going to go to the charity event at the theater and I need to get my hair done" she said.

"Sure. I'm going to get home now. I've been out the whole day" she giggled.

Lily smiled back one last time. "I really hope you will get better, Blair. Let me know if you need help or just someone to talk, okay?" She got closer and put a hand on hers.

Blair blinked. "Thank you."

Lily grinned one last time before leaving. It was then that Blair realized how much her mother-in-law had helped her without asking her what was the problem. She perhaps knew what to do in that moment, although it looked hard to do in her mind.

She could make it.

….

Serena had left one hour or so before. In the end she had stayed with them to eat lunch and was soon joined by Dan. He had come there to look for his girlfriend. Apparently they had got back together the day before after the controversy Dan had had at work.

They both took care of the baby while Chuck tried to look for Blair on her phone. He had sent her texts and called her. She had never answered. It was frustrating not to know where she was. He felt so worried for her. He knew how much she was down and he knew he had to be by her side, but he also knew how much Blair needed her own time.

When it was almost dinner time, he gave Alexandra her dinner bib. Chuck had thought that it was better to give it to her on his bed. He thought the baby seemed comfortable in that one more than in hers. She also seemed to fall asleep faster when they ate there.

He put the baby on his stomach when she finished eating. She burped soon and he adjusted her in the middle of his chest. He circled her with his arms as the baby kept herself silent and started to soothe her by caressing her fragile back, while the baby was holding his index.

He loved this moment because Alexandra usually calmed down sucking on her pacifier. It was relaxing that once the baby fell asleep, he put her next to him and fell asleep too.

He wasn't sure how many time had passed once he woke up but someone was next to him and the baby. He yawned as if he wanted to say something but no words escaped his mouth. His beautiful wife had come back home too and she was now in a red pajama. He noticed she had also tucked the covers on them.

He smiled at her and she smiled back, then he fell back asleep with contentment.

The following morning when he woke up, Blair was still there. She was now the one still asleep.

He noticed on the clock that it was still time for breakfast, so he decided to surprise Blair by bringing her the meal in bed.

He went downstairs and prepared something. He also called the cake shop to get some sweets and croissants delivered at home. He also prepared Alexandra's bib so that they would all eat breakfast together.

Luckily for him when he went upstairs with everything, Blair was still asleep while Alexandra seemed wide awake and trying to grasp her mother's silk pajama with her tiny hand.

"Shh!" he muttered to the baby with his index on his mouth. "Mommy is asleep!"

He put the food trolley not far from the bed and lowered down to kiss Blair on the cheek. She soon moved and a sleepy smile appeared on her features. She moved her hand next to where the baby was, and Alexandra took it for a second. Then, as she was in another world, Blair woke up and started to giggle.

"Why are you laughing?" Chuck asked with an amused voice.

She kept giggling as the baby tried to get a hold of her hand again. They seemed they were playing. "Because it's funny" she said in between the laughters.

Chuck smiled happily and went on the other side of the bed so he could see them.

Blair kept moving her hands so that the baby could try to catch it. It looked so funny that it made him feel better. She was finally touching their baby again. She sat down at some point and kept playing with Alexandra. The two of them seemed rather joyful and Blair smiled with real euphoria. He didn't think it would happen this soon.

He watched as them kept doing it until Blair broke to tears. He felt suddenly worried but Blair blocked him before he could say something about it.

"It's joy, it's joy" she said crying. She was actually crying and smiling at the same time. "I'm happy. Really happy right now" she gushed.

Chuck blinked to avoid some kind of emotional breakdown too. He just picked the baby up and passed it to her. He knew how she was feared to take her again. She took Alexandra slowly in her hands, he tasted how she was trying to tell herself to keep calm. She didn't need to freak out. He was there with her.

She shoved his hand away after a minute and looked at her daughter. The baby was looking at her with her big hazel eyes and was trying to reach her cheek. This made Blair giddy inside that she cried a little bit more. She held Alexandra tight on her chest and kissed her head.

She had missed doing it. She had never stopped doing it in the first place, she realized.

He felt so relieved to see mother and daughter together again. He felt his heart lighter. He tried hard not to be moved by the scene but eventually a little tear appeared in the corner of his eye. He instinctively got closer to his ladies and kissed Blair on the cheek then he put his arm around her shoulder and reached for the hand of the baby. Taking his index in her tiny hand had become Alexandra's favorite sport those days.

"I love you so much" Blair murmured. The baby squealed and she giggled. Both she and Chuck looked at her then at each other.

"I'm sure she wants to say she loves you very much too" he commented.

Blair glanced back at the baby and she opened her mouth in surprise when she noticed something. "Has she ever done this?" she asked with curiosity.

"What is she doing?" Chuck wondered, and Blair turned the baby so he could see her too.

"She is smiling! She is smiling for us!" she giggled happily as she shed another tear.

Chuck smiled too. "Yes, she is doing for mommy and daddy" he said and looked at Blair with satisfaction. He was so relieved. "She is so happy to see you close to her again, I'm sure."

Blair grinned and reached him for a brief peck on the lips.

It looked as if her family puzzle had finally put its pieces back together. She hoped it wasn't just an illusion... was it?

…

Hope as always I was clear with my choices. I aimed to show a broken Blair over the start of her responsibilities as a mother. Of course as you may think, the problem is not fully resolved. I don't want to drag it for long, but I won't definitely give it a closure yet. I have half an idea of what to do, hoping I won't have another writer block.

Can't wait for GG on Monday btw. It's limoversary day!

Comments are appreciated :)


	17. Icy Violet

Wasn't GG great last Monday? I really loved the Chair scene we've got and can't wait for episode 5.07 to air! That pumped me to finish this chapter. ;)

….

"How are you doing today?" she heard him ask from the bedroom while she was in the bathroom.

She answered sincerely. "Actually... I'm fine."

Blair had tried to start doing what she used to do before. Held her baby, nurse her baby and change her baby. She had dropped the idea to bathe Alexandra because she wasn't fully sure to succeed. The baby would bet wet and God knew if she could make a misstep.

She was trying to do what she felt like doing, with no pressures.

He had stayed next to her for the first two or three days to make her feel confident about it. 'Just in the case' type of reassurance. It made her feel better because she knew that he would be there to help her, but then he started leaving her alone with the baby. She knew he was doing it so that she could easily came back to her routines and feel sure about the things regarding the baby.

After two weeks, it seemed as if the plan was slowly working. She had slowly started to take Alexandra in her arms again for longer periods of time and on suggestion of her physician she had also started to nurse her again. It felt nice to breastfeed the baby, but it also felt tiring because afterwards her breasts looked sore. They hurt her and she was afraid she could take the flu for the second time, but her doctor always said it was normal. She shouldn't worry.

Speaking of her physician, Blair had set up another appointment for that week. She sensed that Dr. Crane wanted to monitor her feelings. When she had gone to her study and she had had the argument with Chuck outside the building, her doctor had asked how she was feeling.

Blair had lied saying she was really happy for the baby. She was indeed happy for having Alexandra but mentally and deeply she wasn't feeling that strong. That hurt really bad but she didn't think she wanted to share that sensation with the doctor. She hadn't shared it with Chuck or Serena but she felt Chuck somehow knew more than he saw.

The doctor had also asked her about post-pregnancy bleeding and pelvic pain and Blair had quickly responded that everything was okay for that matter too.

That was another hell of a big lie. She didn't have any major bleeding but her inner thigh area often ached. She had wanted to ask the physician if have sex too early could have had provoked that pain but then she realized she would appear what she didn't want to appear; an unexperienced wife and mother. That was for sure, it wasn't only her fault. But she had had to read something about the argument, despite he didn't go that deep and was quite calm.

She remembered the moment as if it was yesterday. The last time she and Chuck had had sex. Almost a month before.

For someone else was enough to have sex every once in a while but for them it wasn't the same. She felt that piece was missing from her life, although she didn't want to care about it yet. Sex wasn't that important after all.

She wondered what did Chuck think about this and if he was of the same opinion, but he had barely tried to touch her during those last few weeks. It made her a bit sad that perhaps it could pass even more time before the next time. The fact that he wasn't pushing the issue was good because she wasn't exactly in the mood for that. But she knew that he may be, he was just being silent about it because of this whole issue with their baby.

It didn't help that during the check up with Dr. Crane she had found she had gained few pounds. Her perfect shape wasn't perfect anymore and it made her think of the times she used to throw up. She had been bulimic for a while and it had been hard to eradicate that disease. It took time to understand that she liked herself the way she was even if her body wasn't as skinny as the one the models her mother used for her show was.

She still didn't fit in a 4. She had bigger thighs. She had also bigger hips and her tummy still wasn't perfectly flat as before. She had broader hips. The only good thing was that she had bigger boobs, but she didn't think boobs could be enough to still look pleasing to Chuck's eyes.

This was literally killing her and she hoped he would prove her otherwise.

Not that he didn't kiss her or hugged her. But she noticed how those gestures sometimes were really cautious as if she was a porcelain doll. She didn't want him to see her as something to protect. She wanted to feel protected but also feel strong. She didn't want him to behave like that because she was being emotionally weak.

She heard steps coming closer.

"It's great that you're feeling good" Chuck said with a pleased tone.

She was doing her eyebrows at the moment and was in a white robe with a white towel around her hair. She had just gone out of the bathtub and her robe was a bit loosened on the chest.

"Yeah" she answered.

The steps were closer as she kept doing what she was doing. "I was thinking about something" he said with a thoughtful voice. "Why don't we -" he was about to ask before trailing off.

Blair turned towards the door where he had just got inside of the room. She wished she knew why the hell did he stop talking. Chuck's face suddenly fell to the floor. He seemed rather embarrassed and she couldn't get why.

"Why don't we what?"

His eyes kept wandering on the carpet and tried not to eye Blair much. "I wanted to take the baby out. Be just us and her in the pollution of New York City" he explained.

Blair made a quiet laugh that made him raise his head a bit. "Do you really want our baby to inhale bad air?"

He shrugged and put both hands on his pockets. "If we go to Central Park she won't. Or we could just go somewhere else?"

"I have an appointment today."

He looked surprised. "Appointment?"

"With my physician. She said she wanted to see me again after two weeks since the last time" she said as she was also plucking her eyebrows. "I forgot to tell you because I called her yesterday. Sorry."

Chuck shrugged. "There's no need to be sorry."

She turned and gave him a weak smile. "Want to come with me with the baby, perhaps?" she suggested. She wasn't sure that was the best idea but she wanted to spend time with him and the baby that day. She felt like it. She was also trying to get reassurances.

"You sure about that? Wouldn't we be in the way?"

"You can wait outside of the study if you feel in the way" she simply shrugged her shoulders.

"I'm going to tell Dorota to dress the baby up... if you don't want to do it, of course."

She grinned. "Let Dorota choose the outfit for today. I'm going to get dressed soon."

He nodded and then exited the room.

Blair turned to the mirror again to finish what she was doing. All of a sudden her face seemed so tired and lost. She felt unpleasant and had a weird feeling of sickness in her stomach.

He hadn't looked at her at all. For the majority of the time he had been looking around the bathroom to avoid her glances. She was sure of it. And she had her robe really loosened on the chest... she noticed it had almost slipped off opened and her right breast was a bit visible.

Why then he didn't do anything? She wasn't expecting him to take her there like in the past. She didn't want to be taken. She wanted a sign of passion. She wanted his mouth to trail kisses on her bare neck and descend in that slit in between her chest and keep kissing her there until her robe would fall from her shoulders on the floor...

She needed to stop. Perhaps what she was thinking wasn't true. He wasn't in the mood for sex as much as she wasn't and he wasn't in the mood for kisses and cuddles either.

That sounded really depressing.

She hoped at least her doctor would tell her that she lost few pregnancy weight. That could make her feel better that day.

….

"Apparently Gossip Girl thinks we're going through a marital crisis" Chuck laughed few hours later in the limo. "She thoughts so because we looked sad while reaching the car."

Blair rolled her eyes. "That girl must stop. Why does she hope so poorly of us?"

"Really have no idea. Let's just say of all our friends we weren't exactly the ones you expect to get married and have a baby this soon" he turned to look her in the eyes.

"You think?"

He bit his lip. "I do think that may be true, yes. I honestly never thought I'd have a family before I would turn forty or even fifty. I didn't even think I would ever have a legacy. I couldn't see myself pretty much with company."

Blair frowned, confused by his words. She arched an eyebrow at him.

Chuck turned again and looked straight in front of him. "What I mean is that I never saw myself as a husband nor a father. It took me off guard when you told me you were pregnant although that night I already wanted to propose to you. There has been a moment where I thought I lost everything, few years ago. Then we got back together and what I lost I regained it quickly than I expected. I couldn't believe it. I still can't believe it sometimes."

She smiled at him, moved by his words. He was just standing there with a neutral expression, he looked so sincere about it. She leaned forward to seek physical contact and kissed his cheek.

"Your old beliefs proved you wrong, apparently" she caressed his jaw. "You have been a good husband and father."

Chuck smirked under the touch of her manicured hand still on his face.

The limo stopped soon and Blair hated it. There was such a romantic atmosphere in the vehicle that she didn't want to break.

Helped by Arthur, the trio went out of the car and moved inside of the building. They reached the floor where the studio of Blair's doctor was. The same secretary had greeted them at the door, and now they were waiting in the hallway that Dr. Crane would finish her previous visit.

Once the door opened again, Blair's doctor was happy to see her there.

"Mrs Bass, I'm glad you came with a short notice. I have the results of your analysis to discuss" the woman said before getting inside again. Blair stood up and looked at Chuck as to mutely tell him she will be right back soon and they could wait there. She was halfway towards the door when the doctor came out a second time. "Can Mr Bass and your baby get in too? I need to talk to them."

Blair was unaware why the doctor also wanted them there. She would have to discuss about her pregnancy weight and mood. She didn't want Chuck to be there. She didn't want him to listen to what she had to tell the physician.

"Is it inevitable? He needs to give the bib to the baby or she would cry for hours" Blair made a weak smile hoping to convince her.

The doctor shrugged. "If you don't feel comfortable about having them with you, they can wait outside. But I'd like to have them here after the usual check up. It's okay?"

She turned towards Chuck and the baby. He was looking serious at them but didn't say a word. She thought that whatever thing she decided to do, he would be fine with it. Truth was she didn't mind Chuck with her as long as the doctor wouldn't get into deep issues. She hated to seem weak in front of him, and also don't look as beautiful as she'd love to be.

Blair nodded in agreement.

"Great. Please come inside then."

The physician let Blair in and closed the door behind her. She sat on her chair behind the desk and Blair did the same.

"So, Mrs Bass. How are we doing today?"

"I feel fine. I am okay" Blair said with a low voice.

The doctor grinned and looked at some papers on her desk. "Your analysis look discreet" she started to say "but overall good. Have you had any bleedings recently? Your red cells look lower than the last time."

"Barely, really. They aren't that great."

"Does your pelvic area hurt? Or your breasts? Have you started breastfeeding again by the way?" she asked and got up from her chair to go to Blair. She asked her to let her see her breasts for the check up.

Blair nodded. "Sometimes the ache is unbearable but it goes away with that cleaning product you gave me few weeks ago. But with the breasts... after I started nursing again about eight or ten days ago, I really felt wore out every time. My breasts felt really sore and the only way to feel comfortable is to have a hot bath."

"It's really good you have started nursing again after the flu" she commented "and I suggest you not to stop again or either it will be hard to restart. A hot bath is perhaps the good solution with breast soreness. You need to have time for yourself. Be a mother is great but as you may seen it's really hard. I'll give you some pills for aching breasts anyway. Now I want to check few other things with you. Go there and undress that we'll see how you've healed."

Dr Crane tasted Blair's chest lightly until she told her to fix her shirt. Blair stood up and removed her skirt then, and put her bag on the armchair nearby. She slowly slip off her stockings and did the best she could to sit down on the examination chair properly.

The doctor went where she was and started to check. Every time was so awkward for Blair to be there and be examined but thankfully her doctor was a woman and not a man. There would have been really weird and uncomfortable.

"Every thing seems fine to me since the last time you came here. There was a disaster and I couldn't give you the green light that you could feel okay with doing what you did before the baby was delivered. It has healed a bit since then but I'd suggest you to keep calm."

Blair frowned. "Can't I have sex then?"

The doctor raised her head a bit. "I'd rather wait a week or two, just to be sure. The fact that you had sex only three weeks after the birth practically messed up the typical post-pregnancy schedule. Not that I totally advise against having sex again. I just think if you're gonna do it now you're gonna feel pain. Sure your husband can try to be calm, but it will hurt anyway."

She looked down when the doctor lowered her head again. That news made her a bit sad. Not that she needed to have sex again. She just wanted to be back to normal in a way. It wasn't a priority but it was something that bothered her and made her feel guilty for the quickie of about a month before.

The doctor told her she could get dressed again but she asked Blair to remove her shoes after.

"I need to measure your weight. You were about 142 pounds last time."

She bit her lip. "I was 112 pounds before I started."

"Come on. Let's see if you lost at least 6 pounds as I expect after the diet and exercises I gave you last time."

Blair jumped on the scale and tried not to look at the result too much. If she didn't lose at least a pound she would be really sad. She hated pregnancy weight.

Dr Crane walked on the other side of the scale and sighed. "Uhm."

"Have I lost anything?" she asked with a worried voice.

The doctor smiled politely. "You lost even more than I expected. Almost 7 pounds! That's great. I'm sure that before Christmas you can lose even more. Only 24 pounds are to lose to get back to your original weight. I think you can easily make it if you keep up."

The woman walked away and reached her desk while Blair smiled at herself. It wasn't much but it was something. Still, wasn't enough.

She put her pumps again and then walked towards the desk to pick her bag up while the doctor was writing the recipe for the pills and suggestions for the diet she should follow to lose more weight.

"You can take these pills, don't worry. They are natural so they won't make your milk 'toxic' for your baby" she explained and wrote the last few things before giving the paper to Blair.

"Then we'll see in two weeks?" Blair asked.

The doctor nodded with a grin. "Sure. Try to take care of yourself during this period. I'm sure you'll benefit. Okay? Can you please call your husband now."

Blair frowned. "Why?"

The woman became serious. "I just want to talk to him with you."

"About what?"

"About your post-pregnancy blues, Blair. It's serious. If we can't kill it now it will take time to heal. I'd love to help."

"I'm not depressed" Blair prompted answered.

The doctor shrugged. "You can't be in denial forever. There's a baby out there that needs your love now. You can't abandon her. I'm sure you are a good mother but I studied you and you have few issues due to this pregnancy. They could get worse."

Blair snorted. "I don't know what you're talking about. Please don't put your nose in my life, you don't know anything about my life at home with my daughter. Now if you'll excuse me."

She gave the woman a harsh answer before going out of the study. Chuck and Alexandra were there waiting for her and Chuck was making the baby play. The baby seemed pleased because she heard her squeal.

She approached Chuck and smiled at him. "Can we go? I'm done."

"Sure. The limo is waiting for us."

"Why don't we just walk and go to Central Park instead?" she suggested with a smile.

He looked happy of the choice. "Let's go."

…

Blair had avoided Dr Crane for the following days.

She had called at least two times a day with no success, both on her phone and on her house phone. She felt lucky that Chuck wasn't at home when the doctor called. He had been busy with something at the Empire, and he had asked Blair if she was fine with him being more hours away from home and be in his real office.

She felt more free when she was alone with Alexandra at home, so she agreed. Of course he wouldn't stay too much out but the time he remained at work felt relaxing for her. It could perhaps help her go past her fear.

The phone had rang five minutes before but she had ignored it. It should have been the doctor again. When she ignored the second call, a third started but it wasn't what she expected. It was on the other hand a text, and she had rolled her eyes at it.

"What does this woman want" she said annoyed at the baby on the bed next to her. The baby just watched her with her wide eyes. She would not read the message.

She jumped off bed and decided to watch a movie while waiting for Chuck to arrive for dinner. It still was six, but the time the movie she had chosen lasted would cover the time he would get back.

She got back on the bed as soon as she had put the DVD and started the movie. She took the baby in her hands and started comment the images with her. She was surprised and amazed at how the baby seemed to react to her talking.

Alexandra usually squealed and made weird noises whenever a new music or someone that talked really loud appeared on screen. It was amusing to listen, and it made feel Blair better whenever her daughter did that. It felt as if those weeks apart had quickly passed and she was back to normal with her baby, as it should had been. Probably the fact that she had took a break from nursing and her baby routines had helped.

The telephone rang again after a while, and she ignored it as usual. It also made the baby woke up and made her sigh so loud because that was the second time she did it. She was surprised when the answering machine voice started and someone talked.

_I wonder why you aren't answering your phone and this phone, but I hope is not for me and my being late... I'm sorry I can't be home for dinner. We needed to set up a late meeting and it is about to start. I have no idea when I'll get back home, feel free to eat if you want. Give a kiss to Alexandra for me and see you later. I love you. Bye. _

She pursed her lips and and sighed in relief. He may have been calling the other times and she thought it was the doctor instead.

She waited for the baby to fall asleep and then she asked for dinner to get ready.

After she ate dinner Chuck still wasn't home. She didn't mind his being late than usual, he was probably getting into the loop of his work again just like her with Alexandra.

She decided that since she wasn't sure when he would be back, she would try to take care of her body as she did every night before bed. She now was also checking her weight and was trying to massage her legs more often to re-shape them as soon as they could. Not that her legs were fleshy, but she felt her calves were a bit puffy.

She needed to lose those 20 pounds or something to regain her older figure, the Blair he loved so much.

She thought that perhaps he would look at her with lust when she would, and not as if he was embarrassed for her like the other morning. He would not look as if he is being invasive. He would not be shy to look at her above all.

The thought of not being enough for Chuck and to still be pleasant for him really wore her out. She knew she didn't need to worry about that. He hadn't let go when she had started gaining weight during the pregnancy and back then they had had sex several times and it had always been great. He had never commented on the fat she clearly showed but lately she felt he was disappointed. She was just focused on the baby and despite he was being a good husband for her, he wasn't exactly looking at her the way he used to.

She felt so insecure for thinking that, but it was inevitable.

She went to the bathroom to have a hot bath. She let the water flow as she started to put the bath oils and then she started stripping out of her clothes, trying so hard not to turn and look in the big mirror in front of the bathtub. She tied her hair back and then got in it.

She started relaxing as soon as the hot water touched her body. It smelled real good and the scent started to make her feel better. She started to drift off with her thoughts after she put her head back on the bathtub. The sensation felt so soothing that she didn't notice she was about to fall asleep.

The crash of a thunder woke her up.

She looked at the clock on the bathroom counter and it said it was almost eleven. She hoped it would not rain too much and that Chuck would not come home drenched. All of her hopes failed miserably when he indeed got back with his outfit sopping wet.

He opened the door of the bathroom and didn't notice her soon. This made her feel uncomfortable as soon as his eyes fell on her figure hidden under the bubbles.

"I'm sorry, I didn't you know you were here." He said with a low voice.

She smiled sincerely. "You look like a drowned rat. What happened to you? Was Arthur on strike?"

He laughed. "Too much traffic. I had to tell him to drive off and walk for few blocks under the rain. It was really blocked that after the hour we've been waiting in the traffic jam I only wanted to come home, no matter how."

"You should had waited in the limo. You would have not soaked in the rain."

"I wanted to come home. Have been too many hours apart from you and the baby. I was missing you both" he said with a sweet voice and grinned.

Blair grinned as well. "Now that you're here... since you're already soaked why don't you join me? I'm drenched as well and I'm really cold." She blinked and tried to do the Bambi eyes.

Chuck's mouth fell open. At that point he seemed as if he didn't know what to say.

"Why don't I change and go to bed instead? I think I had too much troubles with water for today" he said as he started to get his coat off and put it in the dirty linen bin.

She sighed. "But you need a hot bath. There's enough space for two in this."

He was starting to remove his suit piece by piece to put it in the dirty laundry box. He was now only in boxers and shirt. He turned from where he was to look at her. She didn't love his serious expression at all.

"The only thing I want now is a hot bed."

"Why not a hot woman in a hot bathtub?" she asked. Blair winked at him from the bathtub and then stood up, leaving him not too much at the imagination since her body was only covered by bubbles here and there.

He looked at her body from head to toe, but then he just sighed. "I'm tired, Blair. Really tired."

She put both hands on her hips. "We can be tired together" she fluttered her eyelashes at him with no success. She felt so stupid.

"Your hands are wrinkled" he noticed, and her eyes fell on her hands for a second.

"Not enough to stay for other five or ten minutes" she kept trying to seduce him.

He tried hard not be harsh. "I am not in the mood for a bath. I just want to sleep. Please. You can go out there and follow me too" he smiled politely at her.

Blair's expression changed. "I'll reach you in five minutes" she managed a weak smile.

Chuck was under the sheets reading the newspaper when she got back in their room. The lamp was on and was the only source of light of the room. She walked slowly towards the bed with her silk blue pajama, and then crawled under the covers too. He turned when she put her head on the pillow, and he gave her a tiny smile before going back to his newspaper.

Blair looked away from him and started to focus on her bare hands under the sheets. She tried to move them slowly to reach his hip. When she put one there, he slowly reacted by moving his foot a bit. She started to massage there going all the way from his chest to his crotch.

He seemed to relax and excite as she moved her hand, until he turned and asked her to stop.

"You look like a woman on her period tonight" she complained to him.

He shook his head. "I'm just tired" he tried to justify.

She snorted. "Sorry" she answered bitterly and adjusted herself better on her pillow.

Chuck rolled his eyes and put the newspaper back on the nightstand. "What's happening, Blair? First you were horny in the bathroom, now you were trying to provoke me an arousal. Is there something I don't know?"

She made a snarl giggle. "It baffles me that you of all people are asking me this."

"Sorry for not understanding, but I already told you I'm wore out."

She shrugged. "So am I."

"It's not just that."

She raised an eyebrow. "Try to guess."

His eyes wander around the room before studying her again. He didn't look really awake in that moment but she didn't care. He was still conscious and she hoped he wouldn't disappoint her or otherwise she would feel really bad.

What she was feeling was close from happening. What could she do?

"If this is for Milena, then..." he started to murmur few words until she made a face.

"Who the heck is Milena?"

He frowned. "The new receptionist. I thought you'd seen her. She is very..." he trailed off.

Blair fumed. "How is she? Tall, blonde and with big boobs? Well what could I have expected."

"Is just a receptionist, Blair."

She pretended she cared about this person. Who the hell was this girl didn't matter. The matter was another and it wasn't exactly a matter of jealousy.

She rolled her eyes and avoided to look at him.

He moved closer to her and looked for her hand under the sheets. "Are you jealous? I like that you're jealous."

Blair groaned.

"I'd take this as a yes?"

He really didn't get anything. She didn't care about this receptionist and she didn't even have seen her yet. She partially didn't doubt about his loyalty to her.

What feared her the most was herself and what she could become. She would be less Milena and more fat Blair if she wouldn't lose her pregnancy weight soon. Then she would have to worry for the receptionist because Chuck would be more attracted by a model type rather than the mother of her baby.

"I don't care about how the staff at your hotel looks like, to be quite honest." She answered.

"Then what? Enlighten me."

She rolled her eyes. "Why don't we just sleep? I'm losing my voice..." she blinked.

Chuck remained there with his mouth half open and wonder on his face as Blair curled on the side and looked at the wall in front of her to try to sleep.

She thought he was really slow to understand how she was feeling, and was proving her that something had changed indeed. That looked so sad to think but she had no idea where to find her confirmations if not in his gestures towards her.

She thought he had fallen asleep five minutes later when he stopped moving in bed. He instead moved closer to her and circled her body with his arm. She felt the goosebumps as soon as his hand found hers. She had been keeping it on her belly and it reminded her of when she first told him she was pregnant. He had held her hand on that spot for the whole pregnancy, and had caressed the belly with her up to the delivery.

"I really love you, Blair. Don't think a blonde receptionist would be enough to make me leave you. You're a beautiful wife and an amazing mother. I could not ask for better. So please never forget that, okay?" he said. He then gave her a neck kiss. The goosebumps continued.

Blair tighten the grip on his hand and smiled weakly.

He seemed he always made her happy with something, but why did it feel the words weren't enough for her to prove herself he hadn't stopped wanting her in that other sense too? She had rejected her two times in a row and she couldn't take another no the next time she would try to show herself that he still wanted her that way. She had to do something so that he could not resist to her next time... but what? Perhaps someone could help.

She fell asleep with his cologne inebriating her nostrils.

…

As you can see, I am going trying to analyze Blair's body issues. She is really conflicted and insecure about her image that she needs proofs from Chuck. Well he still couldn't give anything solid to her, but his response will come soon, don't worry. I hope as always that I didn't make a mess of Blair's emotions. I write as if I were her and try to put my feelings to describe hers. I hope I succeeded.

Comments are loved!


	18. Pale Gladiolus

She had decided she wouldn't stop doing anything to get him to prove her nothing had changed between them _that__way_.

She wasn't in a good mood to try many times and he wasn't showing any particular interest in wanting her that way, he just seemed to be okay with kissing and cuddling in bed. She wasn't sure why he always stopped whenever she reached his trousers and tried to open it, and that was basically the only thing he let her do. Sometimes it was also fault of people interrupting them or other banal excuses.

He dismissed any explanation with the excuse 'I have to do this, I have to do that' or 'I am tired because I had a very long day at work'. Blair felt tired of these excuses and bitter about it. If he didn't like her anymore or perhaps the reason behind rejection was another, she had the right to think it so she would put her paranoias a rest.

He had to stop giving her annoying reasons to making her doubt of herself.

Few days later, Chuck had remained in bed with her. This had surprised her since he had told her that he was probably going to spend some hours at the Empire to finish to arrange the new staff. She thought him staying was due to what she told him few nights before, the jealousy he felt she was feeling towards this new receptionist she didn't even know.

She felt his hand on her hip and slowly turned to face him. He was still asleep, but she thought he wasn't totally drowned in sleep land. She leaned closer and let his hand fall from her hip to her thigh. She put her hand on his shoulder to grip on him, and cut the small distance by giving him a kiss on the lips.

She just received a closed mouth the first time, but then he seemed to wake up and started kissing her back. He initially was slow but then his lips started moving fast as they searched hers and they tasted her tongue.

Blair felt about to moan because she was starting to need hair and she was being aroused by just a kiss. She grabbed his hair while kissing him and put her leg on his under the sheets as he put his hands behind her back and started to caress her uncontrollably. She felt him grabbing the bottom of her back at some point, as she was ruffling his hair with her fingers.

He panted at some point and leaned back for a second before going back to her lips and keep kissing her.

She felt that he was being too generous for an early morning, but he had been other times. Usually that was his best hour to sex her up. He was good even when he was half asleep.

She kept kissing him hard until the phone rang.

Chuck sighed in between their kisses and she saw him bit his lip before stopping and looking at her with annoyance, torn between answering or not.

"Let it ring" she suggested him and caressed his cheek before kissing him again.

He seemed to agree with her as he kept pleasuring her with his tongue in her mouth. They continued their kisses and panting until she finally reached the pants of his pajama.

She hissed something when the answering machine turned on.

_Hi, this is Dr. Crane. I know you've been avoiding me, but I needed to let you know that you still need to come here to get your analysis. You've left them at my study the other day and I thought you may wanted them back. And on a side note... I still think you need to do therapy with me. I offered you my help and you refused it, and sorry to seem invasive or something, but I just care about your health, Mrs Bass. It's not a bad thing need to talk to someone that's not your family nor friends. You'll feel better about it. I hope you'll come to my study in the morning or you'll just call me. I'm suggesting this for you. You can also bring your family with you if you want them to help you, I'm sure your husband will be more than glad to be there for you as you've been there for him. Have a good day. _

The answering machine emitted a beep sound and turned off.

Blair froze in his arms and looked down, trying to say anything or to find a good excuse.

Chuck sighed and his hand moved from her back to her hip. "What is she talking about?"

She sighed as well and murmured something. "I think I forgot my analysis at her study! That's why I couldn't find them" she made an awkward giggle.

"That is not the point. Are you okay?"

She bit her lip and finally looked up. "Of course I am okay, silly. She is surely reading Gossip Girl and is guessing we have marital problems" she rolled her eyes.

He frowned. "Was the check up good? Did she say something?"

"She just said I am okay and that everything is going fine. My analysis were really good."

He nodded. "How about your mood?"

She smiled. "Great, really great. Haven't I told you?"

"Yeah, you did." He said with not so much conviction and then started eying her with suspicion.

"What? You don't believe me?"

Blair made a face and tried to be believable. She didn't want to get caught. She didn't want Chuck to suspect of her meetings with Dr. Crane either. She knew she had to do something about her mood and how it was effecting her every day life, but she had to do it alone... perhaps.

She wondered what would he think about that. She was so scared to ask him questions about them and how he was feeling towards her during those weeks. The fact that he had rejected her seemed to speak loudly every day, and what it said wasn't what she hoped she would hear. She felt as if her marriage was really off the rails.

He sighed and tried to sit down. "You can talk to me" he murmured with a concerned face. "I am here for you, Blair. If there is anything wrong -"

"There's nothing wrong." She said with eyes half closed.

"Then what about today? What was the doctor referring to? Are your analysis bad?" he asked once again. This time his tone looked even more worried.

She brought a hand to her forehead. "My head aches. I should take a hot bath." She looked away and was about to get off the bed if it wasn't for his hand catching hers.

She didn't turn soon and when she did he was looking at her with a hard expression.

"Is it for the sex?"

She opened her mouth in disbelief. "You don't know what you're talking about."

"Oh hell, I know. Do you think I haven't noticed all of your advances?"

She bit her lip. "Great job. I'm sure they'll give you a prize for the nice observation" she said as she tried to leave again, but without moving her feet too much.

She wanted to wait for his answer. It was obvious he had noticed her moves to stimulate him, but it was also evident to her how he had turned her down in the moment he had on the other hand put all of himself in a normal occasion.

He still looked serious. "You don't understand."

She shook her head. "And you're a liar. A big fat liar."

"About the sex? I don't think you know why I did it, Blair. I surely didn't want to stop your horniness. I love it. But we could have had some risks if we..."

"Those are lies." She tired to convince herself and definitely jumped off the bed.

"What now you think I made that up as an excuse?"

She raised an eyebrow. "Yes, you did!"

"Do you really think I don't want to have sex with you anymore?" he asked with a louder tone.

She bit her lip and looked away. "I think I'm getting late for my visit at Bendel's." She shrugged. "I'll leave you time to think, perhaps you can come up with better excuses" she said as she turned on her heels and walked away making a bitter laugh.

She soon got in the bathroom and closed both doors so that Chuck wouldn't enter if he wanted to. Then, as soon as she opened the water to prepare her bath, she started crying. She couldn't even look at herself in the mirror. She felt unloved and lied to.

Was it possible that he meant what he was saying, that he thought they could have risked if they had sex? Should she believe him?

She wasn't sure.

There were times she felt so diffident towards him and she couldn't control it. Since he had become her husband, he had treated her right. He had only lied to her once, the day before the wedding. She remembered the trick she did when she masked herself as a dancer at his bachelor party. He had known it was her since the beginning, yet he had waited to tell her.

Could it be that he was lying for her well being?

…

She eventually got ready and went out of the building. She didn't know where she would go, perhaps she would contact Serena and have another shopping session together. She could have lost other pounds, and she she could fit in a size 4 now. She hoped.

She got in the limo and asked Arthur to drive her to the Van der Woodsen's penthouse.

She then tried to distract herself with her phone. She looked through the pictures and soon scrolled down to some she had taken a while back.

There were some cute pictures of Alexandra of when she was born, her first bath and some pictures of her smiling from the recent weeks. There were pictures of her with Chuck too. In one she realized she had taken while they were in bed, still naked but covered by the sheets and Chuck was kissing her neck. She thought she looked drunk in that picture, but it felt somehow cute to see it. They looked so in love and so good together...

She scrolled to reach a picture she took before Alexandra was born. She had a nice sundress and they were at the Hamptons. Chuck had taken the picture while they were in front of the mirror, his hand on her belly and hers on his arm. It looked quite like the other one because she was kissing him on his cheek.

She sighed heavily and decided to read if Gossip Girl had posted something, before putting the phone back in her bag.

Apparently Serena wasn't at home. She had been spotted few minutes ago having breakfast with Dan at some Brooklyn bar. She rolled her eyes. She would talk to whoever was at the Van der Woodsens, she decided. She just wanted to escape from her house.

Once the car stopped and she went out of the vehicle, she noticed the place wasn't exactly what she expected.

She turned towards she driver that had opened the door for her, and saw Chuck approaching.

Her stomach became suddenly empty and she tightened the grip on her bag.

"What are you doing here?"

He smirked. "Accompanying you to your Doctor, it seems." He said as he offered his arm that she soon refused.

Blair snorted and walked towards the entrance. They both took the elevator and she found it so hard not to complain because of him being there.

When they got in the study of the doctor and she saw them, the woman looked pleased.

"I'm really happy to see you both here" she commented once they entered the room and sat down in front of her.

Blair rolled her eyes. "He took me here with deceit! I thought I was going to Serena's!"

The doctor looked quite amused.

"I had to. How is she going, Mrs Crane? She refused to tell me."

"What? It's not true! You didn't ask in the first place." Blair complained with annoyance.

Chuck spat back. "Because I thought you didn't want to talk about this."

"In fact I don't. Can you please give me my analysis back so we can go home, please?"

The doctor tried to stop them. She put her hands up in the air as to motion them to lower their voices. "I see there's tension between you two. Perhaps we can talk a bit about it?"

"I want to know how my wife is doing." Chuck demanded.

"And I want to go shopping right now. Fair share?"

"Not until we fixed this." He answered politely. "And I know how is your health going."

She snorted again.

The doctor called them to the silence again. "Wait a second. The answer is no for you, Mrs Bass. And yes for you, Mr Bass."

"Why not? You're racist!" Blair exclaimed with a surprised face.

Dr. Crane raised an eyebrow. "I think you're too upset. Did something happen in the morning?"

Blair looked down and bit her lip, then she looked briefly at Chuck. He was looking at her too, his severe look was unmistakable and tough.

He cleared his throat. "We almost had sex" he admitted shamelessly.

"Chuck!" she rebuked, her voice slightly lowered on the last letter.

The doctor looked amused. "Okay, enough. I think I should talk to you in private first. You have too much to say to each other but perhaps you want to confide alone first."

"I'll leave you the chair" Blair said as she stood up and reached the door. "You seem to have more to say than I do." She rolled her eyes and the doctor nodded.

The doctor prompted him to go on when Blair closed the door behind her.

"I don't know why she is bothering. It seems sex is the most important thing for her lately. She is always horny. Wouldn't this state end after she delivered?" he asked with curiosity.

Dr. Crane frowned. "It actually depends from woman to woman, but I don't think we should talk about this now. Didn't you want to know if your wife is suffering from a case of too much excitement. I believe she just wants you to acknowledge her."

"I have appreciated her ever since we started dating and prior."

"Probably you're not appreciating her now, I mean the way she'd love you to. She is being quite excited, you said. What is your answer to her excitement? Are you excited too?"

Chuck sighed and looked at his hands to gather his thoughts. "A night I came late at home and I found her in the bathtub. I was completely drenched and I was so tired I couldn't even hold myself together that when she actually came out of the water and offered me to bathe with her, I had to turn her down."

Dr. Crane nodded. "Is that so?"

"She tried to have sex other times. Several times. She tries to catch me in the morning because ahem, I guess I just can't control myself while I sleep and it's evident. She stimulates me and I respond to her kisses and attentions with vehemeence, but then I stop."

"What is stopping you?"

He shook his head, trying to think about a reason. "I don't know. I am carried by my feelings, usually. I am yield to her and if I am in the mood I never refuse her gestures."

"I see" the woman nodded. "But what if you're just scared?"

"Scared of what?"

"To hurt her. You don't want her to feel pain. The same pain she told me she felt the last time you two had sex because her body was still aching for the birth."

He looked surprised but truthfully he really wasn't. He knew that she had felt pain that time, but he never asked her really. He decided to go past that because she didn't seem to complain about it. He knew that he shouldn't have gone deeper, but he just couldn't stop.

"I know" he said, resigned.

The doctor sighed. "She just wants to feel loved now. I know you still think she is beautiful despite her body is not what it used to be ten months or so ago, but she is insecure about it. I'm not telling you to have sex every time at every hour, because there's the high risk that she may get pregnant again because her hormones are not yet stable. But give in sometimes... don't let your fear block you. If she feels ache, you'll just stop" she shrugged.

"Is she ready to have sex?"

"I haven't checked her yet since the other day, but I guess so. You should be careful on her. She has a fragile figure. Blair has a strong personality, but she is insecure about herself sometimes. I know you love her as she is, let her know this."

…

Chuck waited for a while until Blair was done with the doctor.

She looked at him when she exited the study, and he offered his arm. This time she didn't refuse, she actually looked a bit tired and not as angry as she was before. She didn't talk and he didn't ask, not until they got in the limo.

Blair sat next to the window and looked carelessly out.

He didn't want her to be that far so he got closer. Blair didn't make any move but she turned for a brief moment. Her eyes were glossy and he could swear she had cried while she was with the doctor. He put an arm on hers and stroked it gently. "How did things go?"

"Great. Everything is great" she hissed.

He knew that maybe wasn't the truth, but he decided not to ask for details yet. He nodded and cut the space between them. He kissed her hair and he could tell she looked down and closed her eyes for a second before going back on the window of her seat. He wondered if perhaps she was really silently crying.

He didn't know why now she looked sad. He wasn't sure he could ask her if she was alright, but would it be worse if he didn't?

The doctor had told him he shouldn't be afraid of loving her the way she was asking him to.

He didn't have to be too much cautious right now, if she wouldn't tell him she felt pain. He had to slowly go back to old patterns in his relationship with Blair, before the baby was born. Even if it seemed impossible to do since Alexandra was a priority.

They reached their building and he still wasn't sure of what to say until they went upstairs.

Blair kicked off her heels and lifelessly looked for something he didn't know before she headed to the nursery to see the baby. He followed her there. The baby was fully asleep. It looked like a lot of time had passed since their meeting with the doctor that Dorota had already given the bib to her and put her to sleep.

She smiled at the baby in the tiny bed, and then turned pensive again. She didn't even look at him when she acknowledged his presence there.

She got back in their bedroom and with the voice phone asked the maids to prepare lunch.

Chuck followed her moves around the room as she first put her slippers on and then checked herself in the mirror and removed her earrings and necklace. Then she walked to the bathroom and he waited until she came out to lunch together.

They didn't talk much at the table as Blair didn't look quite excited like before. He felt like he needed to say something but he wasn't sure what to say exactly. He felt guilty for taking her there against her will but he felt like it had to be done.

He had been in the dark about the whole situation or he had done the same thing she did. He had been in denial about it he had thought every thing was fine when it wasn't, distracted by his daddy routines and his job.

He had been blind about how she was feeling because he had also let her deal with her fear alone. Perhaps now he wondered it had been a bad idea.

Blair left the table earlier after eating only a dish of different vegetables he knew he had in her post-pregnancy diet. He didn't follow her soon because he still needed to finish his dish. When he finally left the table too, he went upstairs to check on the baby first.

Alexandra was awake and Blair was playing with her. When she noticed he was there, her happy tones disappeared a bit.

He sighed and went where she could see him in the face. "I'm sorry if I dragged you there without telling you" he said with softness. "You perhaps didn't want to see the doctor."

She made a weak smile and looked back at the baby.

"Next time I should ask you first. I don't want us to argue because of things left unsaid."

She nodded. "It's okay, Chuck. I needed to see her. I had been fooling myself for too long and I didn't want to face the truth."

He nodded. "I shouldn't have been that harsh. I shouldn't had revealed private details of hour marriage life." He said referring to the fact that he had told the doctor they almost had sex that morning. He knew Blair had been disturbed by that affirmation.

"It's fine." She murmured and tickled the baby before putting her in her crib.

He nodded again. He hoped she was really fine about it. "Are you?"

Blair stood up and walked to their room and sat down on her bed before answering. She looked up, then. Her eyes were red. She shook her head a bit and he brought a hand on her cheek to caress her as a tear fell from her eye. "I feel so tired..."

"Yeah, I know." He simply said and he knew it wasn't enough.

He felt she was wore out even more than the previous week while he had been buried in his work again after a long time. Worst choice ever. He felt he hadn't seen the real problem there. Yes, she had had troubles in trusting herself with her baby but eventually she had slowly started doing it again. What he hadn't thought of was if she needed support or not. He had simply helped her every once in a while like he always did, but ignored that the problem hadn't been solved yet and it was even bigger than it seemed.

"Don't go around throwing random words. Tell me the truth, Chuck." she asked with her voice broke by the tears.

His face hardened. He put both hands on her cheeks and tried to dry her tears.

"I promise you, whatever happens I'm not going to give up to this family." he said. "I'm not going to give up on you and the baby. I know I have been very absent recently but I wrongly thought leaving you alone with Lexie would have helped you regaining the trust in yourself with her when the real problem was me."

He lowered down and kissed her lips quickly. "I'm sorry I was scared."

She shook her head, confused by his words.

He looked down for a moment. "I know how it hurt that time, one month ago. I know how hurt you were afterwards, but in the moment we were doing it I didn't fully realize it."

"It didn't hurt that much" she looked at her hands. "It was just... sad. We finally made up and then you had to leave again. I never minded your dedication to your job, but I think sometimes it's too much. That hurt. Not the intercourse itself. And I eventually forgave you" she added when he was about to answer her. "because I was sure you wouldn't do it again, and you didn't. But then you started rejecting me and it made me feel like you didn't want me anymore, like I wasn't that appealing because I am not what I used to be."

He shook his head and managed a sweet smile. "There's nothing wrong with how you are now. You are still the same Blair to me, whether you fit in a 4 or in a 6. Your body changing would not change my mind about you. I thought this was clear" he cupped her cheeks with his hands again and knelt down. "I'll never stop wanting you, Blair. I am sorry if it appeared to you that I was done, but I was too sheepish to confess you I feared you would get hurt again."

She tired to smile and he smiled back. He wasn't sure he had reassured her but he hoped so. If there was one thing sure in his life, that were Blair and Alexandra. He had never planned of leaving them, he was just worried that the situation wouldn't fix soon.

He silently promised himself to try and be more attentive. He had to be more supportive. She needed him to be more supportive. He also also try and go past his fears too.

He dropped his hands on her back when she reached his face and put her hands on his neck to kiss his lips. She started slowly and she didn't want to hurry. Chuck kept her pace well and he as well figured it was better if they took it slow at the beginning.

She started removing the jacket of his suit while he tried to stimulate her on the nape of her neck. She had combed her hair in a bun after she had got back home, and her skin there was exposed. He had sighed at the sight of it, the nape of the neck was his kryptonite and it was so amusing for him to trail kisses on that particular erogenous zone.

Blair was fast to unbutton his shirt and he shook his head when he noticed he was getting naked before her.

"Not nice" he commented and then unzipped the dress she was wearing. She reveled a black and gold lace corsage paired with a finely manufactured lace thong, and black stockings.

They kept undressing each other until they reached the bathroom. She opened the water of the whirlpool bath, that they used few times since they've lived there. Blair put some oils and bubble bath before he could get rid of her corsage.

She didn't wait him to make the next move, that she pushed herself on him. She circled his neck with her arms and started kissing his lips again, this time vehemently.

He felt her nipples on his on his bare chest. They were so hard and probably aroused as they kept kissing with passion. He raised her up on the border of the jacuzzi and removed her stockings carefully. He looked up once he finished, and she was biting her lip. It was instinctive for him to lick his lips. From that place, she looked even more amazing and angelic.

She still looked insecure, though. Her arms went on her chest and tried to shield her body from his vision. She looked like a girl who was about to lose her virginity and was scared. Somehow the thought of it made him feel lighter, he felt absolutely proud that she had chosen him a lot of years ago, to lose it with. And every time she had given herself to him, and the time she had gotten pregnant because of it... it felt wonderful.

He noticed that and he tried to comfort her. He stood up from the floor and gently took one hand in his, and then the other. He entwined their hands together and then pushed his body on hers to close the distances.

He kissed her with sweetness, made it all slow and gentle as she tightened her grip on his hands. He calmly trailed kisses on her cheek, neck, until he finally reached her chest. He could see and appreciate her perfect breasts, still big enough because she was still breastfeeding. He kissed both gently and moved his mouth on them as if he wanted to eat them.

Blair felt the goosebumps as he did so, and she automatically shrugged and pushed her head back. She dropped one of his hands on her leg and grabbed his thick hair. She twisted her hand in them as he kept stimulating her nipples with his lips and tongue.

He arrived on her belly with his trail of kisses. He placed a soft kiss on her belly button and she moaned. She wasn't sure but that was probably one of the places where she felt more excitement when they had sex.

Chuck's hand moved on her back continuously when he went back on her lips. At some point he recoiled back and after giving her one long and lustful glance, he helped her out of her thong and threw it not so far.

She was completely naked now, but he wasn't yet. She decided to help herself with the fingers of her feet to remove his boxers, but seeing she wasn't making it he helped her off the border of the jacuzzi. She put her hands on his hips and caressed his butt cheeks while she tried to get rid of the underwear. Once they almost fell off his legs, he got easily rid of those and she threw herself on him on purpose so that their intimacies would almost touch.

He raised his index, and ordered her to stop. "We need protection" he looked away trying to think where he had put the condoms. He remembered they were in the drawer of the bathroom, luckily. Blair helped him with that and then he raised her up and took her in his hands before entering the jacuzzi.

Blair was suddenly drenched in hot bubbled water as well as him. She sat on his legs at first but then she made room for her body in between there. She started kissing him, not caring that the bubbles were on his face because she had those on her hands.

With a simple gesture Chuck switched their places that she didn't even realize it, and he let her sit properly in the tub. He smirked at her before wandering his hands under the water, on her whole body with no exception. Finally he stopped on her hips and helped by the water he thrust gently into her, receiving her moans back as a response. He kissed her deeply while he came in and out of her, while she as usual gripped on his hair and messed them up.

They went on for what it felt like eternity, until the bubbles started to vanish. He had turned on the hydro massage option so that they would relax.

She was lying in between his legs, her head on his chest and his hand around her stomach held on her hip. Her hand was hidden in the water and grasped securely on his thigh. He was playing with her hair as she kept smiling like an idiot and drank champagne from a glass.

"That was really relaxing if you ask me" she said with a sugary tone.

He kissed her half wet hair. "It was indeed. I suggest we do this at least once a week."

She giggled. "I'd say that is a great idea, but perhaps we could also try other furniture too? I'm sure the wooden table of the party room would be perfect for a night of enjoyment."

"Definitely." He agreed with a smirk. His smile diminished as he wanted to ask her something. He knew he would ruin the moment, but he wanted to try and hope she would give him a sincere answer. "Look, Blair... I know that is probably out of place, but -"

She beat him to it. "I'm fine. Completely fine if you ask me. This was the best sex I have had in ages, and I'm not lying. It was perfect, really." She turned her head to look him in his worried eyes.

His smile was back again. He kissed her forehead before answering. "Now what do you say we check on Lexie? Dorota must be gone by now and the baby is alone."

She pouted but then she reluctantly took a towel and put it around her and went out of the tub. He did the same and they exited the bathroom together hand in hand. She knew Alexandra had to be supervised, and even if she wasn't pleased of interrupting her sex time, she needed to. It was their daughter and needed all the attention.

Blair reached the crib where Alexandra was awake.

"Is so weird she is not crying. Are you starting to behave, are you?" she asked with a childish voice and touched the nose of the baby and she started crying soon. "Guess I was wrong."

He smiled. "I think it's time for dinner. She is hungry and she didn't want to disturb mommy and daddy doing it in the jacuzzi until now."

Blair rolled her eyes with an amused grin, and picked the baby up. She lowered her towel and latched the baby to her breast and she soon stopped crying. Chuck watched the scene with the usual diverted smirk. Those two were his girls and no one could take them away. He would not let anyone hurt them.

Mother and daughter looked so beautiful together that he couldn't help and take a picture and protect it with a password.

"What did you just do!" Blair complained.

He laughed. "Just took you both a picture that Lexie will see once she's of age."

"Delete it, Bass. Like RIGHT now." She glared at him.

"Too late, already password protected it so that you can't delete it." He looked pleased.

Blair snorted and then seeing as the baby finished to sip the milk from her left breast, she calmly put her back in the crib and promised her to come back as soon as she would delete that picture. She started running after Chuck in their bedroom until they both crashed on their bed, and her towel feel to the floor in the corridor between the two rooms, as well as his because she had tried to stop him by gripping on it.

They had finished by doing it all over again on the bed.

…

Hey all, I have got no internet on my laptop so I tried if it worked if I uploaded it via blackberry... not much about to say on this CH, hope it cleared some worries and gave you a bit of solace because Chuck and Blair needed to have sex again after a long time! Lol.

Comments are love :)


	19. Forget Me Not

Hello guys, how are you? Are you having a good Christmas? I am even if the day is almost finished... to celebrate Xmas, I thought to write a Xmas special chapter of this story. I've been thinking for a while about it and now I had the occasion. It is kind of a double chapter, it is actually longer than a normal chapter.

I'm sorry it too long to update, but my inspiration failed me. Winter really kills me for that matter, so sometimes I have these problems with updates.

Anyways, hope you'll like this chapter. If we won't see before January 1st, I wish you all a Happy New Year too!

Tweety

….

It was a lovely day in New York when Blair woke up. Chuck was somehow already up, and she thought he had gone to one of his hotels before he appeared in the corridor that led to Lexie's room. The baby was with him, she had already woken up and she thought she wanted to eat.

She yawned and tried to keep her eyes open once he got in with the baby. She felt tired even if she had slept many hours.

"You're awake" Chuck said with a low voice. "Alexandra wanted you."

She sat down and extended her arm to take her daughter. The baby smiled when she saw Blair, as a sweet response. Blair smiled back at her, pleased by this new habit that baby had.

"Have you noticed that she is smiling more and more?" she asked while helping her baby latch on her breast.

Chuck was fixing his hair in front of the mirror. "Yeah. I've read that is a good thing. Means she's happy."

"She indeed is" she commented, and smiled again at the baby.

Things had got a bit better since a month or two before. Now she wasn't scared anymore to take Alexandra and wasn't scared to take her out. She had come to terms with Chuck and their sex life, promising herself she would try to think positive because he had showed so many times, since their visit at the study of her doctor, that he wanted her.

She had decided to do it when she felt like it, when and if the moment suggested it. She had realized that she had been paranoid thinking he had stopped wanting her. He loved her, she was just insecure about her body in some way but he had tried to demonstrate that it still appeased him.

She hated being unsure of herself, but she was slowly finding her way.

"Have you called your mother?" Chuck asked a while later. The baby had just stopped nursing.

Blair's eyes fluttered on him. He had gone to shave his face and wear his cologne meanwhile. Her expression turned from all happy and grins to blank. "She's not coming" she informed him with a bit of frustration in her tone.

He frowned. "I've read of the bad weather all over France, but I didn't think it was that bad. No flights are leaving? They could go to another city in another way and then leave from there."

Blair sighed. "I tried telling my mom, she said that there is no way they can be all here for Christmas. It will be Alexandra's first Christmas and her grandparents won't be here."

"I'm sorry. I know how much it was important for you."

"Yeah" she looked away.

"But they could make it for New Year's Eve though. Nothing is lost" he smiled.

She raised her eyebrow, not quite convinced. "I guess it's time to get dressed" she said with annoyance as she passed Alexandra to Chuck and started to head for the bathroom.

He stopped her before she could get in. "Do you still need to buy Lexie other gifts for tomorrow?"

Blair shrugged. "Why?"

"I think we have time for a trip wherever you want. We could take the baby out" he suggested.

She seemed to think about it for a moment. "Okay" she just said. "Get her ready."

Blair went to the bathroom to get ready while he remained with the baby. He didn't think she was happy after the news that her parents wouldn't make it for Christmas, so he well thought to take her out. She loved buying Lexie new stuff. She had already bought her a set of new shoes and winter dresses. She had also found tiny headbands for the baby to wear.

Blair wanted her baby to be fashionable even if she was just four months old, and Chuck didn't oppose. He knew how much that meant for his wife, and he would try anything to make her feel better that day.

He waited in the foyer with the baby. Alexandra was giddy for some reason, and he kept playing hide and seek with her. He hid his face with his hands and the baby laughed when he put it away. It was so nice to play with her that way. The baby seemed to grow every day and she often seemed joyful.

It had been a while since she had started sleeping through the night too. For Chuck and Blair had been a good goal, but it had its flaws because some nights the baby would still wake up before the sun would rise.

The baby had made Blair very joyful because now they could both sleep better during the night, but he knew that something was still bothering her somehow.

He wished that the gift he had thought for her for Christmas would make her smile again.

"Here's daddy... now he's gone" he told the baby.

Alexandra laughed and made a gurgling sound as she tried to catch his hand. She seemed very interested and caught by the game.

"Where is daddy?" he made a weird face by arching an eyebrow. "Yes, daddy is back!"

The baby seemed to enjoy it.

"Do you like this, huh? I'm sure you'll like the gift now me and your mommy will buy you. She already chose your outfit for tomorrow, you know. You're gonna have a puffy and velvet red dress with tiny bows on it. I'm sure your mommy is also gonna put one of those new headbands she bought for you. And you'll have a different meal just because it's Christmas. Isn't it awesome?" he caressed Lexie's cheek.

She answered with a moan.

He heard the bell of the elevator while he was about to continue his talking with Lexie and turned to see who was visiting.

Lexie emitted a loud squeal this time as Serena approached.

"Hello, Chuck. I was hoping to find you home. Is Blair here too?"

"You're lucky, sis. She is upstairs and she is preparing." Chuck answered quickly, his eyes on the baby more than on his stepsister.

Serena nodded. "Are you going out?"

"Yeah. Blair needs to finish her Christmas shopping. I guess she also needs to buy you a gift" he turned briefly to smirk.

Serena shrugged.

They both heard a noise from behind. Blair was coming down the stairs. Once she noticed Serena, she smiled.

"S, what are you doing here?" she said abruptly.

Serena bit her lip and looked at Chuck before returning on Blair. "I need to talk you, B."

"Is it important? We were about to go out" Blair seemed to shut her friend.

The blonde seemed distraught and anxious. "It is really important, Blair. Can you give me at least five minutes?" she asked with plea. Blair saw something in her eyes and nodded, then turned to leave with her best friend before Chuck interrupted.

"Why don't you girls go out together? Me and Lexie can spend the day together."

Blair looked skeptical at him. "Didn't you want to go out with me?" she asked, getting closer and more intimate. She spoke with a low tone. She thought he had a reason behind it.

"We can go out together in the afternoon. Go out with Serena. Your friend needs you and you need her. Hasn't been a while since you went out together?"

She nodded. "What are you going to do?"

"I'll go to Lily. She asked me if I could come over so she could give me some papers related to Bass Industries. I'll bring Alexandra with me. You have fun with Serena." He suggested.

Blair smiled widely and then kissed him briefly. "I love you" she said before walking away.

….

Like he told Blair, Chuck went straight to Lily's with the baby. Truthfully, she wasn't expecting him. He just needed a stupid reason to let her go out with Serena.

He had thought going out with him and Lexie would be good, but when Serena had asked for Blair he realized she had to spend some time with her best friend. They hadn't seen each other for weeks because Blair had been stuck home with the baby, and he felt as if his wife needed to talk with someone who wasn't him. She needed to relive old times where she and Serena used to go out to go shopping.

The baby was now almost five months and she couldn't stay next to her the whole day. She needed to get back to normal and have a date or two with her best friend sounded like the best idea for him.

"Charles, is good to see you here" Lily greeted him once they arrived. "And your brought your sweetie too" she cooed at the baby.

Chuck grinned. "She needed to breathe some fresh air, you know."

"You did the best thing. Isn't Blair with you?"

"She is with Serena, actually. I bet they are going to do some wild shopping like old times."

"It's really good Blair is with her, I mean..." she trailed off and showed Chuck the way to the couch. "I've seen Serena very strange these past two weeks. We haven't talked much and every time I try to say something, she invents an excuse and walks away."

Chuck frowned and listened with attention. "Do you think she has a problem?"

Lily put a hand on her chest and sighed. "I really don't know. If she does, she is very silent about it. I hope she tells Blair at least."

"I'm sure she will. Don't worry about it. It will be nothing."

….

"I hope you don't say anything to anyone, B. I want to tell my mother about it" Serena said.

Blair caressed her arm and smiled. "Don't worry. But you need to do something bout it. You need to do it soon. You know if it gets really late -"

Serena stopped her. "I will. I swear that I will. Thank you for listening to me today" she said as she hugged her best friend. Chuck found them hugging each other once he returned home. They broke the hug when they heard the doors of the elevator opening.

"I see you girls are being so loving with each other" he giggled. The baby seemed to squeal too. "Have you had a good time?"

Serena barely smiled. "I should really go. I'll call you later, B."

"Let me know how it goes!" Blair screamed before her friend would leave.

Chuck watched the scene and then moved to the couch where he fixed the baby in her little chair to remove her coat. Blair followed him shortly after she went to pick something from the kitchen. She sat down next to Lexie and gave her pacifier.

"Is everything alright with Serena?" Chuck asked all of a sudden.

Blair looked at him. She had a guilty face. "She's... alright. Kinda."

"Lily is worried. She told me she is acting weird and is avoiding talking to her" he told her.

She bit her lip and looked at the baby. "Your face is cold, Lexie. I hope you aren't too cold in other parts of your body. Did your daddy put a scarf around your neck?"

He rolled his eyes. "Yes, I did. And I also let her wear a hat, for your information."

Blair's eyes fluttered on him. She was smirking. "Good daddy. You're getting really good day after day" she winked.

"Am I?" he pushed himself closer to her to give her a quick peck on the lips.

"Serena is pregnant, by the way" she then admitted when she recoiled back and returned on Alexandra and her clothes.

Chuck made a face. He was pretty surprised. "How many months is the little Humphrey offspring?"

Blair licked her lips and looked away. "Is not sure it's a Humphrey" she let out.

Her husband was looking even more surprised than before. "Don't tell me the father is Nate. The last time we talked was few days ago, he was in Connecticut to work for his grandfather."

"Try again" she said with a kitty voice.

"It's not possible that she slept with her stepfather. I highly doubt it."

She seemed annoyed. "Would be easier to know this guy has your initials, Bass?"

"Baizen?"

Blair nodded. "Yes. Carter Baizen. She told me that they met at a club at Halloween and then, well... she thinks the baby it's his."

"Has she told Humphrey about it?"

She shook her head while she fixed Alexandra's shoes.

"Ouch. Lily is right to be worried for Serena. What does she want to do?" he wondered.

"I really have no idea. She doesn't want to lose Dan but at the same time she thinks if the baby it's Carter's she needs him to decide too. She may think of abortion."

He sighed. "She put herself in a tough situation."

"Definitely. She's gonna update me later. She said she's probably gonna told Lily at dinner because she doesn't want to do it tomorrow on Christmas." Blair said as she kept fixing the baby. At some point she picked her up and started going towards the stairs.

Chuck followed her to Lexie's room. "Good thing. If she is already two months pregnant, she needs to decide. I don't think she should have an abortion... but if she does think that is better... she needs to be sure about it."

"Look at how caring for your sister you've become" Blair mocked him.

He sheepishly looked down and sat on the armchair in their bedroom while Blair put the baby on the bed to change her diaper.

A couple of hours later, the three of them went out to go shopping.

Blair seemed happier yet a bit worried for Serena. Apparently she was anxious to know what will happen to her friend since Serena had told her Carter wasn't in town and was probably trying to avoid her.

Chuck took Blair in all the boutiques she wanted. He also managed to get something for himself as they made their way to Burberry, and get something secret to Blair for the following days. He loved to buy her clothes and accessories, she had often said he had good taste with that and she had never seemed disappointed by his outfit choices.

He had also managed to buy something for Alexandra hoping that even if she couldn't quite understand him, would appreciate the gift.

"I think we did a pretty good shopping tonight" Blair complimented herself in their limo.

He nodded. "You've practically bought the whole store" he giggled.

Blair turned to him and made a vicious smile. "Shopping is one of the things I do better."

"You think? If you're not sure you can't do any other thing better than you do shopping, why don't you try seduce me in this car?" he raised an eyebrow maliciously.

She licked her lips and looked at him with love and lust then she moved closer to his seat and grabbed his crotch and started moving her hand there. He felt instant pleasure as she traveled in that particular zone, that he had to close his eyes for a few moments to recompose himself.

Blair opened his pants within few seconds and her hand started massaging that zone more eagerly. She was smiling while provoking him pleasure, and not only because she was pleased to do it, she was also amused by his turned on face.

Chuck grabbed her at some point, and started to kiss her lips hard while she kept doing what she was doing. He tried to do the same with her, but she stopped him after a while.

"We can't do it here with the baby watching us from the baby chair. She's gonna remind us. Babies are pretty good at memorizing things at this young age" she shrugged.

He sighed with annoyance. "You think? She is almost five months old, Blair. She is starting to say few syllables, but I'm sure she's not going to talk properly until she's three or four."

"You don't get it. Babies are traumatized when they see their parents in compromising situations. I don't want Lexie to be a pervert child! She could have her brain damaged by sex images."

Chuck rolled his eyes and looked away. He started fixing his shirt in his pants and then his tie, while Blair was doing the same with her outfit.

They arrived home a while later, ready to eat dinner and have their baby eat dinner too.

Blair took the baby in her arms while Chuck was still downstairs talking with the staff about dinner.

She felt suddenly scared when she noticed the baby looked really warm. She called Chuck in the nursery and felt out of control when the baby woke up and started to cry.

"She's got the fever, I'm telling you" she told Chuck while she tried to calm Alexandra down.

"Let me check" he asked. "She seems she does. She's really hot. We need to call the doctor."

"Should we? What if it's not fever? What if it's worse?" Blair said with anxiety. She seemed like she wanted to start crying. "What if it doesn't go away?"

Chuck stopped her from walking back and forth in the room, and started caressing her arm while he spoke. "Focus, Blair. Our baby is alright, she's only got few lines of fever. Remember the doctor said she was going to have the fever after the vaccine shot?" he asked and Blair nodded. "Here it is. She's going to be okay. Now I'll call her and she'll come."

Blair nodded again and gripped both arms around her baby. She kissed her forehead and she felt the urge to cry too. The baby wouldn't stop her moans and she was ill, she felt so frustrated in that moment.

The pediatrician came less than a hour later. She reassured Blair that the baby had just a mild fever caused by the vaccine shots and probably the cold the baby had got when they went out. She suggested them to give ibuprofen to her and call her if it wouldn't work.

After the doctor left, Blair remained with Alexandra and did not eat dinner.

Chuck had come to bring it to her on a tray, but Blair didn't want to eat anything. She just kept Lexie on her legs and just hugged her. The baby had finally calmed down after they gave her the medicine. She had stopped crying and she was now sleeping.

That was the first time Alexandra got ill. She had realized that Alexandra may had taken the influenza because of the small trip to Saks they had had that day. She had wanted so bad to buy a dress for New Year's Eve.

She didn't realize that she fell asleep in the chair until she woke up.

The baby was gone and she thought were she may be. She stood up and she found her in her crib silently sleeping under a whole lot of covers. She smiled at the baby and walked away to reach her bedroom. Chuck was lying on the bed and was watching TV. He looked distracted by what was on at that time that she identified as a polo match.

"I didn't know you liked sports" she raised an eyebrow at him.

His eyes wandered from the screen to her. "In fact I don't really. I was just trying to keep myself busy until you would wake up."

"Have I slept for long? I haven't realized."

"You have been asleep for at least five hours, Blair. It's 2am right now."

She looked surprised. "Have I? Is just... I wanted to be sure she was okay."

He distractedly changed channels on TV. "She will surely be. Don't think I'm not worried now. But I am confident that the meds are going to work. Tomorrow she'll be fresh and ready to celebrate her first Christmas."

"Yeah. I really hope the fever will pass soon."

"You don't have to worry about that. I'm sure that the ibuprofen will do its work before dawn. If you feel more sure, we can bring her crib next to the bed so if she'll wake up we'll be ready to take care of her" he suggested.

Blair smiled and took his hand. "Why don't we do it now?"

He smiled back at her and dropped the remote control on the mattress after he turned off the TV. Then they both reached the nursery and helped the crib out of that room, to take it to theirs. That was going to be a long night.

…

In the middle of the night Alexandra cried again.

Blair hadn't woken up yet and she was moving slowly under the comforter so Chuck had to get up and check on the baby. He scooped her up and put a towel on his shoulder so that the baby would lie her head there.

He tried to shush her without success, until Blair put on her robe and reached him in the corridor where he had gone to avoid waking her up.

"It's okay, it's okay. Are you hungry?" he asked silently as he tried to put the pacifier in Lexie's mouth.

Blair put a hand on his shoulder and with a sleepy face asked for the baby. "Let's go downstairs for a change, shall we?" she asked, and her husband agreed with her. While she sat on the couch of the foyer with the baby in her arms latched to her breast, he went to the kitchen to fill Alexandra's bib with water.

"She's still hot" Blair commented when he got back.

Chuck sat on the couch next to her and put his barely cold hand on the baby's forehead to check.

"Should we give her ibuprofen again? It's so weird the fever still hasn't lowered."

"Let me check her temperature, I brought the thermometer with me."

He took the thermometer from the pocket of his robe and put it in Alexandra's ear. The numbers weren't that high but they still made Blair worried.

Once the baby had stopped drinking her milk and she had recomposed herself, she felt a bit better because the baby had stopped crying and was apparently calm. She put her on her chest and tried to give her warmth more than the tiny blanket she had put around the baby, could provide.

Chuck was next to them, sitting close to Blair so that they would not feel cold together either. They were covered by a blanket too, both on their shoulders and their legs.

He put his arm on her shoulder and tried to circle the girls together in a hug, while Blair looked at the baby in silence. She felt like putting her head on his shoulder after a while, and that made him rethink that she had fallen asleep.

She had been silent for a lot of time so far.

"Why don't we go upstairs? We can put Lexie in her crib under warmer covers." He suggested.

Blair spoke with a little voice. "I'd rather stay here. This room is more breezy."

He nodded and kissed her hair.

He hadn't realized they drifted off to sleep until he heard the bell of the elevator ringing. He probably knew who it was. His gift for Blair had arrived and she couldn't see it too soon.

Blair was still asleep with Alexandra in her hands. He decided to take the baby that was calmly awake, and reached the entrance of the penthouse. He needed to hide her gift before she would wake up.

He opened the elevator and ordered to shush. Then he spoke with a little voice and closed the doors again. He then went to his office to put Blair's and Lexie's gift under the Christmas tree next to the window of their living room.

When he walked to the couch to check on Blair, she was waking up. She yawned and smiled at him when she saw him giving a bottle of water to the baby.

"Hey" she spoke with a little sleepy voice.

"Hey" he echoed.

"How is she?" Blair asked without hesitating.

Chuck looked down at the baby and his smile widened. "I checked her temperature and the fever seems gone."

Blair's expression changed and she looked really relieved now. "She's definitely ready to open her gifts, then."

They sit on the carpet of the living room and Blair started giving Lexie her gifts. Of course the baby was too little to stand up on her own, so they sat her in her baby chair and opened the gifts for her.

Blair had packed about five outfits for Lexie and some toys. She hated that her daughter was too young to get a perfume or a necklace. She wasn't still able to play with some of her usual toys, how could she be given something to wear on her neck?

"Do you like this, honey?" Blair waved a purple toy in front of Lexie. It was one that could be sucked because it was soft. The baby smiled and to Blair seemed as if she almost wanted to clap her hands. "Do you like purple, huh?"

"I'm sure purple is going to be her favorite color" Chuck commented.

"I would be surprised if it won't." She chuckled and he laughed with her.

He then took another envelope from under the tree. "Now daddy's gift" he said with a soft voice as he started to open the gift for the baby to see it. Blair leaned forward to see better and grinned when she saw what the gift was.

"This is really pretty" she stated.

Chuck took the little silk scarf from the package and wrapped it around the baby. He brushed Lexie's cheek with the back of his hand and the baby blinked at him. She started to scan him with curiosity while he looked at her. He was expecting another reaction but Alexandra was mostly inspecting him.

"Do you like daddy's gift, huh?" he asked and giggled.

The baby kept staring at him until she took a strand of the scarf and started putting it in her mouth. She started to suck on the silk very eagerly and when he tried to put the scarf out of her tiny mouth, the baby started to protest.

He mumbled something to himself as Blair watched them diverted.

"I'm sure she likes it" she then started to laugh in amusement.

"It's not something to eat. She shouldn't suck it. It's pure silk!"

Blair nodded and rolled her eyes. "Who cares it's silk! Our baby is going to start teething soon. She needs to bite objects and she loves the scarf already."

He looked quite annoyed. He was still trying to get the scarf out of Lexie's mouth without success. "But this is not meant to be a toy."

"I know. But don't act offended." She said putting her hand on his back. "She wouldn't bite it if she didn't love it already. She hasn't done this with any of the dresses I've bought her. You should feel happy that she did it with your gift. Plus, it only shows she likes scarves."

He looked at the baby sucking on the scarf and he nodded. "Maybe this scarf is going to become her signature someday. When she'll stop eating it, that is." He turned to Blair and made a weak smile.

"Come on, now. Open my gift." Blair said as she took something from under the tree.

Chuck did the same with his gift for her. They exchanged glances and then he waited for Blair to open her gift before opening his.

Of course she would imagine what was inside of the package. "Chuck, this is beautiful" she observed the piece with appreciation. "It would go perfectly with that dress -"

"It's not over. Didn't you notice the other package next to it?" He trailed her off.

Blair's eyes lightened when she spotted a bigger package. She opened it carefully and a cobalt dress appeared. She touched the tissue and opened it to see how long it was. "How did you know I wanted this dress for New Year's Eve?" she wondered.

"A little bird told me" he shrugged with a smirk.

She smiled at him and leaned forward to give him a quick kiss on the cheek. She then lied her head on his shoulder for few seconds and circled her arms around him in a hug.

Chuck opened his gift. It was a new set of ties and bow ties that he swore he had yet to see in New York, all in the most colored fantasies. He thought those were perfect.

"They came from Japan" Blair explained. "No one has them here. You'll be the first one to wear them."

"And possibly the only one" he chuckled.

"Of course! Haven't we always been original?" she raised both eyebrows questioningly.

They both laughed until they were interrupted by the sound of the elevator. They usually closed the doors of their house after a certain time, especially when they didn't want to be disturbed. Well, in that occasion they surely didn't want to.

Blair glanced at Chuck who was frowning.

"I wonder who that is" Blair said.

Chuck stood up from the floor but she took his hand to stop him. "Can't we pretend we're not at home? Please. I want it to be just us."

"Why don't I check who is it before we decide not to open? It may be Serena and I'm sure you want to know what happened with the baby drama" he arched an eyebrow.

Blair shrugged and then looked away to focus on Lexie again while Chuck went to the elevator.

He was lucky from where Blair was that she couldn't see who entered the penthouse before the person would reach the living room.

Chuck opened the doors carefully and told the people in the elevator to be silent.

"Thank you. Please put the luggage there." Eleanor Waldorf told a guy.

"I wasn't expecting you" Chuck commented once Blair's parents entered their penthouse. "I mean I thought you would come later in the day."

She smiled when she noticed him approaching. "Charles, it's been a while. Come here" she said as she hugged him swiftly.

Cyrus hugged him too while Harold just shook hands with him.

"The weather was a menace!" Cyrus laughed. "It wanted us to remain in France for Christmas!"

"I'm really thankful you advised us before the weather would change, Charles. Otherwise we would be stuck at De Gaulle today. And thank you for the private jet too" Harold said.

"Anytime Mr. Waldorf. Blair will surely be on cloud nine when she'll see you here." Chuck explained. "I'm glad you could come."

Harold laughed and patted Chuck's arm. "Stop using that formal Mr. Waldorf with me. You have married my only daughter. You're family now."

Chuck sheepishly grinned.

Eleanor raised an eyebrow. "Isn't she alright? You're talking as if there are problems. Are there, Charles? We can help."

He tried to stop his mother-in-law from talking. He shook his head to dismiss the thought in Eleanor's mind. "The baby got sick yesterday evening after our trip to Saks. She got her second vaccine shots on Tuesday. Blair was very worried."

"Is it the baby's first fever?" She asked.

He nodded. "But now it seems gone. She seems relieved now."

"Thanks very much! I've missed that little baby. Take me to them, please."

Chuck asked Eleanor to be silent so that they could surprise Blair and Lexie. They walked to the Christmas tree of the living room where Blair was sitting on the floor still. They were followed by Cyrus and Harold. Blair's father remained behind as Chuck suggested.

As soon as Blair heard the steps behind her, she turned.

"Mother, is that you?"

Eleanor smiled widely and run to Blair to hug her. "Who do you think I am?"

"But... I thought there was a storm and you couldn't leave Paris."

"We thought. We've learned about the storm few days before and we set up and earlier date to leave. Let's just say a little bird called us."

Blair nodded. "Did you come alone? Isn't Cyrus with you?"

"Actually, I am here!" the man screamed fro behind the couch. Blair's father was still hidden few steps behind them. "I could not let my lovely wife coming without me!" he said as he reached them and hugged his stepdaughter.

"I'm so happy to have you here!" Blair started to giggle. "I can't believe you're here."

"Honey, you must! We've brought a cake too" Eleanor pointed something behind Blair.

Once she finished, Harold appeared from behind the wall. Blair's eyes glowed with happiness and she didn't think twice before going and hug her beloved father. It seemed as if they hadn't seen each other for months, but they only hadn't met since Alexandra had been born.

"Daddy! You're here" Blair commented with a touched tone.

Harold patted his daughter's back. "I had to come before Christmas, honey. I couldn't miss Christmas and ice skating with you. And I couldn't wait to see my granddaughter again."

"How many days will you stay?"

He smiled. "Can't we enjoy this day first, Blair? I've just arrived."

She nodded and then they went to sit on the couch. She noticed Eleanor and Cyrus were already gone to greet Alexandra on the baby chair on the floor. Chuck decided to take her in his arms and offered the parents the chance to give her breakfast in the kitchen, so they left Blair and Harold alone.

"So how are you, my dear? You look tired. Did something happen?" Harold asked.

Blair chewed on her lower lip before answering. "Last night the baby kept crying because of the cold she had. I've spent few hours trying to calm her down but I wasn't able to do it fast. I am so tired and my neck hurts because we've slept on the couch." She said as she touched her beck with her hand.

"Is the baby alright now? She seemed good."

She smiled happily. "Yes, thankfully she is. Chuck has given her a scarf and she was sucking on it as if it was the best toy she's ever had" she giggled. "The fever is gone."

Harold looked pleased. "Right in time for her first Christmas with her parents... I remember yours very clearly. You were just two months old and your mother had just got back from a work. I told her she shouldn't work on Christmas Eve, but she was stubborn. Later I found out that she hadn't gone to work. She had spent the whole day finishing a dress made just for you. I remember it was a success in the city," he explained with transportation.

Blair didn't seem to know that story. "Did she make me a dress for Christmas?"

He nodded. "You were your mother's first model, Blair. Sometimes when you were little, she used to make tinier versions of some dresses from her collection just for you. Maybe you can't remember now, but I sure can."

She looked surprised to hear those words.

After a lot of years, Blair still hadn't get over the fact that her mother hadn't particularly seemed to appreciate her when she was a teen. She remembered she used to stay with her father most of the time, while Eleanor had to work for her fashion shows and her collections.

She remembered clearly how some Christmas were sad without her mother. Her father always tried to cheer her up and distract her with games or trips to Central Park, but Eleanor's presence couldn't be substituted only by his. Blair needed her mother.

"You didn't think your mother used to care about you during the holidays, did you?" he asked. Blair looked down. "She's always been present, Blair. It's true she had to work during the holidays, but she always found time for you. You're her daughter. Our only daughter" he stated as he caressed her shoulder.

Blair seemed to be moved by his words. She leaned forward and hugged her father.

"Thank you for being here, daddy." She whispered and then recoiled back. "I didn't think you would make it. How did you do it?"

Harold smiled politely while holding his daughter's hand. "You need to thank your husband for this. He sent the private jet the other day to have us here before the storm would hit Paris. He made us stay at the Palace and ordered us to not leave the hotel. He didn't want you to see us before today."

Blair smiled widely at the news.

"Blair honey, your baby eats really a lot!" Eleanor got in and interrupted the moment.

Blair and her father turned. "Yeah, yesterday she didn't eat anything because of the cold and I guess she was really hungry."

"She was really sweet. She burped on my shoulder." She laughed.

"This means she likes you" Blair chuckled and got up from the couch.

They were distracted by Chuck and Cyrus. They went back from the kitchen and Cyrus was holding the baby in his arms. "This baby is sensational! She ate so fast I couldn't follow her pace!" he commented.

"She was very hungry indeed" Eleanor added.

….

Chuck and Blair had to get dressed and had to dress the baby too. They suggested Blair's parents to go in their rooms and wander in the house as if it was theirs, while they needed to take a shower and find something to wear.

Blair took the baby in her crib while she waited for Chuck to get done in the bathroom. Once he went out in his robe, she crossed him on her way to the room. They exchanged a quick glance and he winked at her, seeing her really happy and relieved.

He was comforted that Blair's mood seemed to become better thanks to her father and mother. He knew that was probably the only gift she wanted that Christmas. It didn't pass a year without having Harold at her house for family celebrations. Blair was really attached to her father and he still was the stable point in her life. She loved her father very much.

Once Blair got out of the shower and got dressed in a long sleeve red dress, he thought she had done the right clothing choice for what he had in mind.

"Very Christmas-y, I see" he commented.

She shrugged. "It's not Christmas if you don't wear something red."

"I agree. That's why I didn't want to be any less" he answered. "I've also dressed Lexie with the red dress you've bought her. She's really beautiful in it, and so is her mother." He smirked.

Blair pretended to be embarrassed a bit and looked away. "Thank you."

"For what?"

She looked him in the eyes and reached him. She took both of his hands in hers and he started to caress them with his thumb. Blair moved closer and let their hands brush on their bodies once she closed the distance between them. She give in a slow kiss and she emotionally opened her eyes once she interrupted.

"For what you've done."

"I didn't do anything."

She slapped his arm with a hand. "Don't be silly. My father told me." She smiled.

A small smile appeared on his features. "I just wanted you to be happy, Blair."

"You've made me happy. Really happy." She smiled even more widely. "There was just one thing I wanted this Christmas. And it was being with my family. I would have been equally happy if my parents couldn't make it, because I would have spent this important day with the people I love, opening our gifts in front of the tree. But this morning, when I saw my mother, my father and Cyrus entering the living room... my day was even more made."

"Anytime" he said with softness. "Anything."

Blair grinned and kissed him briefly. "Now let's go to my parents. I bet they are very excited to see our baby. Cyrus seemed already attached!"

"He wanted to give her the bib. He was really good at it" Chuck said. "Your mother wanted to burp Lexie but the baby dirt her cardigan."

She seemed diverted. "Did she? Poor mom."

….

"Are you sure you don't have anything planned, guys?" Cyrus asked while they were all in the living room talking and he and Eleanor were playing with Lexie.

Blair smiled and dismissed the question. "We would have stayed in anyway."

"But sweetie, is Christmas. You should hang out and breathe fresh hair for a few hours. We can stay here and take care of our granddaughter" Eleanor suggested.

Blair bit her lip and looked at Chuck. He was silent and had a neutral expression.

"Yeah, why don't you go out, guys? You are young and I'm sure since this little one has been born, you didn't fully have time for a lunch together."

That was true, Blair thought. Since Lexie had been born in September, she and Chuck didn't have much time for themselves. Blair had spent the first weeks taking care of the baby alone because she didn't want Chuck to help her. Then Chuck had left for two days and she had taken the flu and Chuck had taken care of both. The only time she remembered they went out to have sort of fun, was on Alexandra's first month. Chuck had taken them to the Plaza and they had lunch on his new restaurant, his gift for his daughter.

Apart from then, they really went out few times together.

"I'm okay here, don't worry. We we really planning to remain here the whole day."

"Come on, Blair! Don't kid me. I've been a mother before, and when you were a little child you kept me really busy that if I didn't have a nanny nor your father taking care of you, I would have gone crazy." Eleanor explained.

Harold interjected. "Your mother is right, Blair. The baby is old enough for you and Charles to leave her for a few hours with someone else. We're here with her. If you tell us where is her water and bib, we can give her lunch."

Blair shook her head. "No, really thanks but..."

"What no!" Cyrus trailed her off. "You need to spend time with your lovely husband, my dear. You need to have fun too. You'll have time to be a mother!"

She frowned and then turned to see Chuck's expression. He nodded one time to agree. Whatever thing Blair would choose, he would be fine with it.

"Are you really sure you want to do this?" she asked him.

"Your parents will be with Alexandra. I'm sure you trust them with your life, you'll trust them with Lexie's life too. Fresh air for a few hours won't be bad. We can always go back whenever you want. You need it, Blair."

Blair sighed and gave a quick look to her folded hands before standing up.

….

In the limo, Blair looked worried. She kept controlling her phone and couldn't put it in her handbag for more than twenty seconds.

Chuck took her hand in his and she stared at him for a whole minute before speaking.

"Did we do the right thing, Chuck?"

He nodded. "I know how much you love Lexie. But I also know how much you need some time for yourself. You've been practically only taking care of her for these last five months. You went out two times with Serena and few times with me. You need to take care of yourself too, Blair. You don't need to worry if your baby needs to eat or needs her diaper changed, for a few hours. I'm sure if you now try to think about what I'm taking you now, you'll feel better."

"Where are we headed?"

Chuck smiled. "It wouldn't be a secret if I'd told you right now, would it?" he winked.

"Ugh. I hate you, Charles. Take me home!" she pretended to be offended.

He shook his head and smirked.

At some point the limo stopped. Chuck got out before Blair and went to open her door.

"Are we at Victrola?" she asked.

He was sure she would recognize the place, she had seen it many times. He took her hand and they got in the building.

It was all dark but for few colored lights lightening up the stage and the couch in front of it.

Blair looked ecstatic around her. "I haven't been in this place since -"

"Since the night before you told me you were expecting our baby" Chuck finished the sentence for her. He remembered as if it was yesterday.

She glanced at him and smirked. She was pleased he remembered.

"What are we here for? This place doesn't do lunches that I know of."

"It doesn't, no. But I eventually arranged one, shall we?" he asked as they reached a small table all fixed with Christmas things. He helped Blair sit down and then he went on the right to take a big dish for her.

"What is this?" Blair asked with curiosity.

"Open it."

She removed the cover on the silver dish and she saw a dish she liked a lot. It was a French dish Chuck remembered she always appreciated whenever they went to Paris.

"My favorite" she noticed.

They ate the first course slowly and exchanged few words. It seemed as if they didn't need to talk much, their eyes were doing everything. They only needed to glance at each other and smirk or smile, and they were fine.

After other three dishes, dessert included, they were both full.

Chuck took Blair on the couch in front of the stage. They were sipping water in flutes.

"It seems like a deja vu" Blair commented. "Just that the first time I went in this club I was drinking champagne."

Chuck nodded. "And I looked after your drink while you danced for me. How could I forget."

"I publicly made a fool of myself in front of a lot of people..." she rolled her eyes at the memory. "But it was worth it. Sure, I hated you for taking my virginity back then. But I realized after a while that we didn't make sex. I made love with the one I've always loved" she looked sweetly at him.

He turned away with a shy smile. "You made me fall in love with you while you were dancing on that stage. It was electrifying."

"I thought you fell for me after we made it in your limo?" she asked with surprise.

Chuck turned back on her. "This is correct. But I started to fall for you while you were stripping down for me. It was as if I could finally see through you... I've always thought we were alike but not until you've teased me with that dance. I was enthralled."

"What do you say we dance together now?" she offered.

He smirked. "I was about to suggest the same thing" he agreed.

Blair went on the stage while he went to turn on the music. He didn't know which song was in the stereo, anything was good. It started a slow melody at first.

She removed her pumps and put them on the side of the stage. She circled her arms around him and she put her head on his chest. They moved really slow to the sound of the music, appreciating every second of it.

Chuck kissed Blair's head before the music changed abruptly into something fast.

She leaned back a few inches and looked in his eyes, then started to chuckle and move a bit, trying to be sexy for him. She made him stop and made some sensual moves around him. This excited him a lot and made him shiver because he didn't know what to expect with her.

At some point Blair took him back on the couch. He sat down and started sipping the champagne he had just opened. He followed her every move until she reached the center of the stage again and started dancing the melody that had just started.

It was a song called Stripped. _Let me see you stripped down to the bone_, it said. Blair didn't think twice and let her red dress fall down at her feet and leave her with her matching slip on.

She moved her hips calmly from left to right aiming to tease him.

Chuck looked pretty pleased with the show his wife was giving him. And he became even more enthusiast and excited when Blair dropped her silk slip next to her Lanvin.

She moved her index motioning him to come on stage too, and Chuck didn't wait.

He reached her and Blair started moving sensually around him like few minutes before. She started undressing him slowly, following the sound of the music, until he remained with only his pants on.

He raised her from the floor and took her in his arms at her own surprise, to take her on the velvet couch they were sitting earlier.

There he started kissing her feverishly while she lied her head back on the soft furniture.

Blair's hands went to his pants and opened them with strength and he lowered them so that he would now remain with only his boxers on. Her hand wandered there for a brief moment before she lowered her stockings and her lace thong.

For some weird reason, Chuck's eyes went on the place she had just exposed.

Years before she would have felt ashamed, shy. No one could touch nor see her intimacy. She kind of protected it because she was afraid the person would then betray her after he had seen her stripped down. That was the reason why she didn't give herself to Nate in the first place.

But the way Chuck looked at her... she knew that intimate place was already his. He had broke in it the first time, he would keep breaking in for the rest of their lives.

They were each other's keepers.

He seemed serious and his face held a lot of feelings in the moment that passed before he kissed her lips with vehemence again.

Blair loved to feel that loved. Her lover wasn't of many words but he showed a lot. He made her feel really loved and wanted.

He pushed into her with grace as he kissed her neck.

She emitted a silent moan as her hand wandered in Chuck's thick hair. He was so expert and nice while he nudged into her. Every time seemed like the first time. He didn't made her feel much, he was a master.

Blair kissed his lips eagerly and kept unintentionally putting her nails onto his back, while Chuck's hand tried to massage her shoulders.

He looked so eager as well, that day even more than usual.

She lied bare next to him. They only had their panties on, and her head was on his right arm and she was looking at the stage now. Her back was brushing against his chest full of hair, and even if she was used to them, they still made her shiver. Chuck's right arm where she had her head on passed under her armpit and touched her breasts. He was hugging her almost.

"You had everything arranged, hadn't you?" Blair asked after a long silence.

"Was it evident?" he chuckled.

Blair chuckled too. "What if I refused to go out with you? The lunch would have gone wasted."

"Believe me, I've considered that option too. But I had some other excuses up on my sleeve to take you out."

She sighed. "I should have known before. I've married a psych."

"I thought you liked the surprise." He said, a bit disappointed.

She turned to face him and her breasts brushed hardly on his chest. He could sense her hard nipples still.

"I did" she answered with a low voice. "You always catch me off guard."

He rolled his eyes and giggled. "And this is a bad thing?"

"Of course it is. I am in the one in control here."

He nodded. "I forgot."

She slapped his chest and he moaned in response.

"Hey" he protested.

"You gambled, you lost."

He smirked and then leaned in to kiss her lips briefly. "I didn't lose anything. I still have you."

Blair made a face. "What makes you think this?" she teased.

"Because you love me" he went to kiss her lips again.

….

Their way back to their house was really joyful. They kept teasing each other nicely and exchanged kisses every once in a while.

Chuck had managed to drift Blair's mind and worries from the baby. He was sure Harold, Eleanor and Cyrus were taking good care of their daughter. It was their granddaughter, after all. Blair needed to trust her baby with her parents more.

He thought that someday they had to let Serena look after the baby too, even if Blair would probably disagree.

"Have you had news from Serena?" he asked while they were stuck at the traffic lights.

"She only texted me Merry Christmas. I have no idea how things went with her." She said and looked at her phone, noticing the time. "We could visit her... what do you say?"

"I think it's a great idea. We aren't far from Lily's house."

Arthur took them to the Van der Woodsens. Lily and Rufus were apparently out enjoying the afternoon with friends. Eric was the one who greeted them, and he wasn't alone.

"Look who is here." Chuck said with bitterness when he spotted him.

"Can't say it's a pleasure to see you, Bass" Carter's voice was even bitter than his. "You waste your time if you're looking for Serena. She doesn't want to see anyone. It's been hours I'm waiting for her to see me."

"Is she in her room?" Blair asked. Carter nodded and she didn't need more words to go straight in her best friend's room. She would be welcomed, she hoped.

Chuck sighed and went to have a glass of something while Carter's eyes were following him. Eric was there too, sitting on the couch browsing the net on his laptop. He seemed pretty much on his own and wasn't caring for any of them.

"Do you know something?" Baizen asked. He looked really interested in Chuck's response.

Chuck raised his eyes from the counter. "Maybe I do."

Carter seemed to be waiting for his answer at that point, but Chuck didn't want to give anything away... yet.

"Do you love my stepsister, Carter?"

Carter was caught off guard by the question. He opened his mouth a bit in surprise. "Why are you asking me this, Bass? Why do you care?"

Chuck walked slowly towards him. "Serena is family. She's had her heart broken once thanks to you. She wouldn't bear her heart broken another time. If you are again at faults with some rich family, you need to tell her now before you're sent to work on a oil platform again."

"I'm not in trouble this time. I swear." He tried to explain himself. "I've been abroad, cleared my mind. Tried to earn my father's respect. I met Serena again casually few months ago and I realized that I still cared... somehow."

"So do you love her?"

Carter fought back his emotions. He looked like him sometimes. "Do with my words what you want. I don't need to explain myself to you."

Chuck nodded and looked away. He watched the street out of the window. There was a long traffic jam. They wouldn't get back in time to their house for Christmas dinner if they wouldn't leave soon.

Blair reached them ten minutes later. Serena was with her and Carter looked relieved when he saw her. She smiled at Blair and then at Chuck, before taking Carter's hand and heading back to her room.

Chuck and Blair left the apartment after then.

"What happened with Serena? You girls didn't give me an explanation." Chuck protested while they were in the elevator of their building.

"She decided her fate" Blair answered. Chuck was looking at her with an eloquent expression. "The baby is apparently Carter's... she decided to keep him."

Chuck nodded. "He loves her" he confessed her.

Blair didn't look surprised. "I know. I've seen the concerned look in his eyes."

"Everyone can have a concerned look, is not an indication" Chuck interjected.

She shook her head. "You have the same look some days, when you see me sad. Don't you think I don't know you're concerned with me, Chuck." He looked sheepishly away. "That's why I love you. That's why I enjoyed this day more than I should." She grinned sweetly.

The elevator's doors opened. They could hear Blair's parents voices from there, they were by any chance in the living room.

The baby was on the tiny table in front of the couch. Cyrus had a Santa hat on his head and Harold had it too. They managed to put one on Lexie's head and she seemed amused by what her grandparents were doing. They were singing her Christmas songs.

"Silent night, holy night" Cyrus tried to sing but failed.

Blair tapped her foot on the carpet and they all turned.

"Sweetie, you're back. Have you spent a good afternoon?" Eleanor asked.

Blair looked at Chuck and tried not to laugh. "We... did, and seems so did you."

"We've had an amazing day so far! Trying to keep a baby entertained for a whole day is tiresome, but in the end is worth it when she laughs at you." Cyrus said.

"Aren't you very laughable, honey? Look at you!" Eleanor mocked her husband then set her eyes back on Chuck and Blair. "My dear, didn't you go out with stockings?" Blair bit her lip and started looking embarrassed. "There was wind outside? Your hair are messy. And Charles, didn't you have a tie before you went out?"

Blair looked lost and Chuck looked away. He almost wanted to laugh at Eleanor's attention.

"Eleanor, why don't we let the guys go fix themselves? They still need time on their own" Harold interrupted his ex wife. Eleanor smiled and motioned an 'I'm sorry' from afar, while Blair's father winked at them.

Chuck and Blair went upstairs to take a shower. They were very exhausted and they just wanted to relax before getting back to their life. Christmas was a holiday made for families. Chuck never thought he would ever have one, but Blair proved him wrong. Not only he had a wife who he loved and she loved him very much. He also had an adorable daughter and step parents who treated him as if he was their son. Same was for Blair.

They couldn't ask better from life.

…

How was it? Comments are appreciated :D


	20. Daisy

Hi everyone! How are you? Sorry for the delay again, but I've been having problems. I wanted to talk to you about these 'problems'.

Lately I feel rather demotivated to write this story or any other fan fiction I posted. I love what I write even if I know there are mistakes and isn't that great stuff. I know there are better fan fics and authors and people who have better ideas and grammar than me. What I try by writing my fan fictions, is learn to write better. This is the only reason why I keep posting chapters of this fic despite the number of comments and favourites has decreased since I posted it. I find myself in a tough position.

Shall I continue, or not? You know, some days I feel no one really cares for it so why bother writing it. I am a rather insecure person, I feel as I fail my 'job' to try and do practice for my writing as none appreciates my efforts, and I also fail at entertaining readers. Writing without a comment on if your work was good or bad is the most depressing thing for a writer, because you never know if you fail what you failed of you succeed, what helped you. With this I don't want to say I'm going to stop writing this fan fiction. I'm just saying maybe updates will be less frequent.

Sorry for the rant, but that was what I have been feeling inside these past two or three months. I still love everyone, who comments and who just reads. Thank you for reading this mini-rant, now on to the chapter!

...

Blair rolled in her bed to get closer to him. He kissed her when she eagerly put her lips on his, her hands went through his hair while his cold hands traced circles on her back.

They had been doing that game for quite a while under their duvet, trying to get warmer.

"I'm freezing" she whispered after a few minutes.

He kissed her lips before answering her. "Do you want to wear your pj's? We can stop doing this if you don't feel like -"

She shook her head. "I don't mind being in my underwear, silly. These sheets have always been so damn cold..." she explained.

"You sure it's the sheets? You've been trembling for a hour and I'm sure it's not because of me" he winked.

Blair rolled her eyes. "I can get over few shivers" she mumbled and kissed him again, this time more feverishly.

Chuck didn't ask anymore about that as Blair kept stimulating him with her hands. First on his shoulders, then on his bare back until she finally reached his legs. She looked hungry of him that night even if they were just doing foreplay.

After Christmas they had decided to stop having sex at their house. Blair's parents would be there for a few days and they didn't want to repeat the embarrassing moment in which Eleanor had asked them if they had had sex before dinner. Blair had turned red and had excused herself to leave the table for a few minutes. Chuck had stayed and had kept smirking the whole time while Eric was laughing at the both of them.

Lily, Rufus, and Eric had also come to their Christmas dinner. A bit late, but they had made it.

Chuck's stepmother had to excuse for Serena's absence. Apparently she had decided to spend that day with Carter and she still wasn't sure what was wrong with her. Chuck hadn't confessed her the reason of Serena's weird acting. He hoped his stepsister would do it soon because he was a bit worried for Lily. She looked sad for her daughter.

They still hadn't heard from Serena after New Year's Eve, and they were sure they wouldn't hear from her until the holidays would be over.

Blair recoiled back to gain breath. "I definitely warmed up a bit now" she smiled.

"Glad to hear I can still do my job" he commented.

She made a face and looked down. "I know it's hard. But I don't want any more awkward moments, you know. What happened on Christmas day was -"

"Really embarrassing, I know" he finished her sentence.

She looked up and rolled her eyes. "But what happened two days later got me even more mad. How dare my mom and Cyrus to get in our room?"

"Well, we put Lexie's crib here to check on her easily, and they didn't know. They supposed this was her room when they visited us all of a sudden."

"And caught us having sex, yeah" she sighed.

Chuck shrugged. "We were covered."

"Thankfully."

"They didn't see anything, Blair. Maybe they didn't even realize what we were doing."

Blair looked surprised. "My parents may be weird but they are not six. We were making noises, loud noises. I still can't get over the moment I was screaming on the top of my lungs for you to get in my _speed dial_." She shook her head. "I felt so ashamed."

He smiled at the memory. "The phone game was fun, wasn't it? I bet you'd be feverish right now, if you hadn't decided to stop letting me get in your speed dial."

"Don't remind me." She looked sheepish and tried to avoid his glance.

"Today will be their last anyway. Harold asked me if I can give him the jet for tomorrow night. They're going to leave after dinner."

Blair looked up, surprised. None of her parents had told her when they would leave and now she was feeling a bit out of the loop. Not that she minded, but she thought her father would inform her first of the date of his department.

He kept glancing at her with confusion, waiting for an answer.

She kept staring at him but couldn't find what to say, so she yawned and turned. "I'm sleepy. Can we please sleep? We'll talk about this tomorrow."

Chuck agreed and shrugged before he adjusted under the duvet.

….

Alexandra was in Eleanor's arms when Blair woke up. She had hardly slept the night before as she kept thinking her parents would leave the following day. She knew that they would go home to France sooner or later, but she was fooling herself they would remain for a while longer. After all New York was their home, she wished they would spend an extra week.

"Blair, honey you're awake."

Blair suddenly changed expression and smiled at her mother. "So are you, mother. Do you have to run errands? Is kinda early."

Eleanor frowned. "Early? But, Blair is already lunchtime."

"Lunchtime?" her face grew vague.

She instantly felt anxious that time was running out. The night before she had planned to spend the majority of the day with her parents and the baby so that when they would leave, her baby would have spent a considerable time with her grandparents.

She wasn't sure when her mother would fly back to New York, it was better to think ahead and let her daughter spend some quality time with them.

"I didn't want to wake you up. You were sleeping like a child... I went to check on you."

"You did?" she asked, clearly impressed. "And what are you giving Lexie?"

She noticed some little dish in her mother's hand. "What, this? It's okay, my dear." She answered with a composed tone.

"You're giving her solid food! She never ate solid food." She said, startled.

Her mother started inspecting her. "Well this is the perfect time to eat it. She is now five months old, she should had started one month ago. Why didn't you give her back then?"

Blair rolled her eyes. "My milk is enough to keep her healthy."

"I'm sure it is, but believe me solid fo-"

"You should have asked me before. Or Chuck. You are not her mother." She raged.

Eleanor shrugged. "I've been a mother before you, Blair. I know what to do."

"It still doesn't change anything!" she almost screamed.

Her mother's attention was drawn to Alexandra when the baby started crying. "See? We're startling her. Keep your voice low."

"And you keep that dish away from my daughter, please." Blair asked politely.

The two women started glaring at each other. Eleanor still hadn't put the dish she was giving her baby on the tiny table of the room. Blair's hormones couldn't stop her. She felt it was her maternal instinct talking, and a bit of pride.

Eleanor finally decided to put away the solid food. Blair noticed it was a banana puree. It smelled bad, and she hated the sight of it.

She followed her mother's moves in silence until she gave Alexandra to her and left the room.

She seemed quite angry and nervous, but in that moment Blair didn't mind it. She couldn't let her mother be a mother for her child. She had no right.

…

Few hours later, the Bass' decided to take a walk. Blair had suggested to do this when she noticed her mother didn't show up at tea time. She was sure she had hurt her pride somehow, but she didn't care. Her mother was wrong and had to excuse herself for her behavior.

They had decided to leave Lexie with Harold. Blair had asked him to take care of her baby so that she would be sure she would still find him home when she and Chuck would get back.

"You are so silent today" Chuck noticed as they were walking on a not so crowded street.

Blair was next to him looking casually at the stores they were passing by. She smiled when she met his eyes. "Silent? I thought you liked silence."

"I don't mind silence. But I mind when you're worried."

She shook her head and looked in front of her while walking. Her arm was under his and she loosened the grip a bit when he mentioned the word 'worried'. He could read her too well, she wished he forgot how to do it sometimes.

She avoided his stare. "I'm not worried" she said with confidence.

"If it's because we left Lexie alone with your parents, I think they'll handle her very well."

She shook her head again. "I'm not worried, I said."

They kept walking as she avoided his glances.

"I heard you screaming earlier, with Eleanor" he said at some point. "I didn't get what was the matter of your conversation, but I guess it got you mad at her... did you?"

Blair sighed and rolled her eyes. "I'd rather not talk about that. I'm furious."

He nodded. "Did something happen because of the baby? If she cried again while your mother was holding her, maybe she needs to get more used of your parents. It's normal."

"How can she?" she asked with a very low voice. "How can she get used of her grandparents if they live abroad, huh? How can she know how her grandma and granddads smell?"

He frowned and stopped. He then turned her to him, her eyes were brightened up by the light of Gucci behind them. Her mouth was half open and he could see tears forming in her eyes. She looked frustrated and sad. He felt it was because of her parents leaving.

"She will remember it."

She offered him a flat smile. "I'm not sure about that" she whispered with a resigned tone. "She's too young. She is learning things and who are the people around her. This is the second time my parents met her. I'm not sure when there will be a third" she shrugged, her voice sounded fuzzy. "Oh, I know when. On her first birthday if they can fly back to their hometown for a few days."

Blair rolled her eyes and looked away. She didn't want him to think she was sad for that. She didn't want to cry in the streets.

"Or we could fly to Paris and see them" he offered.

She raised an eyebrow. "It still doesn't change things."

"Then what could? Your parents have a life in France. A house, friends. A job. They have established something there."

She barely looked up to stare at him. "Not everything they have is there!" she raised her voice a bit.

It was in those moments where she missed her parents so badly that he knew how much it was hard for her to have both her mother and father in another country. She could talk to them on the phone or call them on your laptop, but it wasn't the same thing as seeing them next to her. Contact was different.

Blair suffered the distance. An ocean separated her from her father and it wasn't easy to accept. Above all now that she had had a daughter, she wanted her to get to know her grandfather well and it was obvious she couldn't when he lived far away.

Chuck brushed her cheek. He could see clearly that she was trying to stop the tears from falling. He didn't know if he could find a solution to this problem, but he would try.

He leaned in and closed the distance between them. The moment Blair's head touched his chest, she started weeping silently. He kept massaging the back of her neck as she gave vent to her deepest worries.

She put her hand on his back and took his coat in it. He felt her gripping on him as if he was the last source she could hold on to.

"I want to go home" she sobbed.

Chuck kept her warm onto him and called the limo driver to pick them up. He had to think about something to cheer her up before they would get home.

…

Blair had wiped the chaos her mascara had done on her cheeks with a tissue. She looked good now but her eyes were still a bit red. She kept eying herself in the tiny mirror she always brought in her bag to check if her eyes would not be that red before getting to their building.

She knew she didn't have a chance for that, but she didn't want her parents to think she had cried. She wanted them to see her strong, not weak or emotional.

Chuck held her hand through all the way up to their penthouse and when the elevator opened.

They heard noises coming from the kitchen and a smell of tomatoes until a screaming Cyrus got in the foyer and saw them.

"Thank God you are back! Eleanor was getting crazy."

Blair frowned. "Did something happen while we were away? Is everyone okay?"

Cyrus made a weird face that made them worry. "Is better if you see it yourself." He said as he lead the way towards the kitchen.

When they arrived there, the baby chair was on the table. Alexandra was on it and was wailing and screaming out loud. The dress she had on was dirtied up with baby formula, and so were her hands. Eleanor and Harold had their shirts dirtied up as well with what it looked like tomatoes. They were a mess.

"Come on, baby! Stop crying, please!" Eleanor begged. "We gave you the milk and the water and you haven't stopped screaming from the top of your lungs."

"Look who is back!" Cyrus said with relief.

Eleanor and Harold both turned towards them and Blair smiled at the sight. They were funny with their clothes all smudgy.

Eleanor was relieved. "Thank God you're back. She didn't give us a break!"

Blair reached the table and took a tissue from her bag to clean the hands of the baby before taking her in her arms and cuddle her. As if Blair was some soothing medicine, Alexandra stopped crying after a few minutes. She asked for her pacifier and fixed it, then she started touching her face in order to let her feel her warmth.

Eleanor and Harold had meanwhile gone to change their clothes. When they got back, they found Blair sitting on the armchair in the living room with the baby sleeping on her lap. She motioned them to be silent because the baby had just fallen asleep.

Eleanor sat beside her, while Harold went to the counter to pour himself something to drink.

"She's so beautiful while she sleeps, isn't she" Eleanor gushed. "She is perfect. Reminds me of you when you were little."

Blair barely looked up to smile. "I wasn't as pretty as her. She is precious."

"No, that's not true my dear. You were really pretty with your brown eyes and brown curly hair. I remember you always calmed down when I put my hands through your delicious wavy head. You used to fall asleep really fast because you were soothed by my hand."

"I didn't know this" Blair answered her mother with surprise. She finally raised her head to look at her in the eyes. "I thought you didn't spend much time with me."

"Dear, I was your mother. I couldn't not spend my time with you, especially in your first months of life. You were my pearl."

Blair looked embarrassed of those words. She never really heard her mother say them. She felt the urge to cry when she realized what she had done that day had been stupid. "I'm sorry I screamed at you earlier. You were right."

Eleanor made a face. "No, you were right my dear. You are the mother and therefore I shouldn't had bought solid food before asking you just because I thought it was nice for the baby to try it" she grinned. "I'm just her grandmother."

She smiled back at her mom and tried to hug her with her free hand.

"Chuck told me you are gonna leave tonight" she said when she recoiled back.

Eleanor's expression hardened. "We have to. Holidays are over and I need to finish my Autumn/Winter collection. Cyrus and Harold have work to do as well. I wish we could remain another day but is not possible."

"Yeah, I know. But you can still come and visit more often. Lexie needs you too" she said.

Her mother nodded. "Of course we can! Our jet will be back in service soon so we won't need Charles' to fly to New York."

"A deal it's a deal."

She nodded again. "Of course."

…

After three hours, Eleanor and Cyrus and Harold, left.

It had been hard for Blair but she tried to not cry. She had realized she could survive with them visiting at least once a month as they had promised her.

She felt a little stupid for the reaction she had had that morning with her mother. She also felt stupid for have been whiny. She felt as a little girl who just wanted her parents to be there for her, not realizing she was now a parent herself and that she needed help but she also needed to try on her own with Chuck. She needed to grow up.

Her parents would always be there for them and the baby. They would try to be present as much as possible in her life so that she won't feel grandparents deprived.

"Are you okay?" Chuck asked when he reached her in the bathtub.

She glanced at him and smiled widely before moving a bit forward to make room for him behind her. She then put her bare back on his chest and let the bubbles circle them.

The baby was also there. Since Lexie had woken up again after they had accompanied her grandparents to the heliport, Blair had suggested to take a bath, all the three of them.

The baby was lying on Blair's arm and she looked carefully that the water with bubbles won't go on her face.

"You know, I realized something tonight" Blair started to say. "I was just scared."

"Scared of what?"

She sighed. "I was scared Lexie would hate her grandparents and she would blame us someday for not keeping them closer to her because they don't live here." She licked her lips and glanced at the baby. She was babbling something and looking at her breast. "I was scared she would have a dysfunctional family because she doesn't have all of her parents here."

"I don't think ours will be a dysfunctional family because Harold and Eleanor live abroad, Blair. The fact that my father is dead and she'll never know him is not important either. Because -"

She bit her lip. "Because they are always with us even if they're not here" she said with confidence. "They said they will come when they can. They want to be in Lexie's life too."

"And I'm sure they will. Your parents are good parents. They will find the time."

She nodded. "In town we still have Lily anyway. She is a good grandma" she giggled.

"She is. But please don't call her grandma. She hates it." He laughed. "Lexie is her first nephew. I thought she would have been happy to be called like that. I'm offended. If Bart was still alive I'm sure he wouldn't mind being called _grandfather_."

Blair smiled while their baby was patting her shoulder delicately. "I'm sorry" she murmured.

"I know."

She turned her head a bit to stare at him and Chuck leaned closer to kiss her lips. Their kiss was slow and sweet for the time it lasted.

She felt really sorry that the only parent left to him was Lily. His father had never truly followed his son's life and goals, his mother had met him and then screwed him over. His uncle was on good terms with him now, but he had also caused damage in the past.

She and Lexie were his only family besides Lily, Serena and Eric. The thing he had always wanted was finally there and she would do anything to keep it together.

"Baa" they stopped after their heard Lexie babbling.

Blair was surprised. "Have you heard that?"

"It was actually really amusing to hear."

"Lexie say it again. Ma-ma!" Blair encouraged her, but the baby didn't talk.

Chuck tried as well. "Say pa-pa, baby." He asked, but Lexie kept staring at them like a little harmless angel would do.

"Baa baa" she repeated after a while. "Baa!"

"Did she say papa?"

She sighed. "She just babbled as she always does, I guess it was our imagination."

He agreed. "But she'll say it someday. We'll throw a party when she will."

"Baaaa!" they heard again and laughed.

"I guess is time for this princess to get out of this tub. Can you please pick her robe?"

Chuck nodded and got out of the tub. Suddenly water started wetting the floor and some bubbles that were covering his body started to fade or fall on the carpet as well.

Blair turned to see what he was doing and shifted the baby as well. She placed Alexandra on her knee and the baby kept scanning the back of her father's body as he looked for the pink robe to put around her.

Lexie looked mesmerized, Blair noticed. She opened her mouth and followed Chuck's figure until he got back with what he needed. She looked up at him and saw him kneeling down to kiss her cheek first and then wrap her up with the robe. She started to squeal as soon as he picked her up and begun to pat his neck with her little hand.

He also gave Blair a towel he had took from the closet and she grinned at him.

"Thanks" she said while they went through the door that lead to their bedroom. "But I didn't need a towel."

Chuck turned to her and smirked. "No one said that I'm gonna let you keep it" he winked.

She made a vicious smile and looked sheepishly away as Chuck put the baby on the bed and started drying her with the towel.

Meanwhile Blair had brought a towel for him too. "First, she is too young to see your genitals, Bass. Second, she is your daughter."

"She won't remember it tomorrow" he shrugged and managed to fix Lexie's diaper.

Blair sighed "Don't plagiarize her innocence this early, I beg you." She teased him. "She has years to see men's genitals anyway"

He shook his head and took the towel she was handing him and fixed it around his hips.

"Who said she's going to see man's genitals, huh?" he asked the baby and tackled her. Lexie smiled and moved arms and legs playfully. "My sweetie is not going to see that until she is at least thirty years old. And she would still be too young."

Blair rolled her eyes. "I'm not sure she won't see genitals before she's thirty, Chuck. And even if she doesn't have sex with anybody, there are pornos and youtube. So it's a lose-lose."

"Then we'll block those harmful sites, right baby?"

Blair laughed at that point. "You are so sweet when you play 'jealous daddy'." She stuck her tongue out to him. "Don't worry, we'll protect her until it will arrive the time."

He looked at the baby and smiled, then he glanced at Blair. "I hope it will happen in a long, long time." He admitted in a whisper.

"I'm sure it will when she'll feel like it. Like it did to me" she curved her head to the side.

He felt relieved and confident when Blair told him that. For a moment, he distracted from what he was thinking. He was being jealous, he knew. But he also loved his daughter too much and he wanted to protect her at this young age. It was too early to start thinking about Alexandra all grown up with thousands of horny boys wanting her V-card.

He was sure he couldn't stop her once she would find the man of her life. He knew his daughter will want to have sex and find someone that would make love with her and appreciate her as much as they did. He was sure about that. It was every girl's dream.

He promised himself he would try to give Lexie everything she wanted. He would try to give her what Bart didn't give him.

He bit his lip. "I've never meant to ask... have you ever regretted?" he wondered.

She knew what he meant and she shook her head. "I haven't... and I won't."

Chuck smiled and stroked her cheek gently. "Falling in love with you was the best thing ever happened to me."

"I know" she whispered. "I love you. And I also love our daughter so much."

"I love you and her as well."

"Baaa!"

They both laughed. "Looks like she hates when she's ignored" Chuck said and tried to finish what he was doing.

Blair went into her closet and looked for a slip and underwear when the phone rang. Their maids were away, so she went back to the bedroom to pick up the phone. She wondered who could be that late, it was almost midnight.

Chuck didn't bother to look up when she answered, because he was occupied with the baby.

"Hello?"

"Blair, Blair!" Said the voice on the other end. "You need to come here soon. Serena..."

Blair started to panic. "What, Lily? Where are you?"

"At Lenox Hill... come soon. Serena is not really doing good." She seemed weeping.

"Give me the time to get there. We're getting ready."

She hang up the phone as long as she gave Lily the OK they would reach her. Still, she hadn't told her why Serena was there. She was starting to get very anxious and she hated it. She feared it was because of Serena's tough relationship with Carter.

"What did Lily want?" Chuck asked, picking up the baby now fully dressed for bed.

"Serena... she's at the hospital. Lily didn't tell me why she was there."

"Okay, we're getting dressed and we'll go there. I'll take the baby in her pajamas."

Blair nodded and tried to get ready as long as she could.

She and Chuck with their baby reached Lenox Hill after half a hour Lily had called. When they reached her, the woman was crying. Chuck gave Lexie to Blair and reached his stepmother.

"Charles, you're here" she said with a relieved voice. She then hugged him briefly.

"What does Serena have? Is she okay?" he asked with a rather fuzzy voice.

Lily shook her head. Her eyes were glossy and he thought she had cried a lot during the past hour. He could only think what it was about. "They still won't tell us, I just know that she fainted and didn't wake up again. Carter Baizen called me."

"Is he here?"

"He is waiting outside her door, there on the right." Lily said.

Chuck thought to reach him and ask, but the doctor came before he could go. Blair and the baby reached him as well when he approached Lily.

"Your daughter has lost a lot of blood, Mrs Humphrey." The doctor started to say. "We tried to do all that we could, Serena is okay. But the baby..."

"The... baby?" Lily asked, startled.

He nodded. "Yeah. Your daughter was about ten weeks along. The causes aren't clear, but we guess we can blame the mix of alcohol she had in her stomach. I'm gonna update you soon, so you can see her when she'll wake up. Give her time to rest and don't ask her many questions." He said before walking away.

Blair started crying instantly and gave the baby back to Chuck. Lily started sobbing as well and decided to go and sit on a chair before taking all the strength she had to realize what the doctor had just said.

As for Chuck... well, he was looking for Carter.


	21. Ivy

Hi! First thing I wanted to say is that I can't wait for GG's 100th episode on Monday. I hope it won't disappoint or I'll be mad. Lol. I expect some CB angst. Second thing I wanted to say is thank you for all of your support last time. I needed some of it. Now I feel better and with some strength to continue the story (hate when I have little inspiration, ugh). I have something planned in mind for Valentine's Day since that is when this fanfic first started.

….

Chuck found Carter sitting on the chair in front of Serena's room.

He was looking at the floor and seemed rather startled. He didn't want to go to him and scream at him. He just needed to know if something had happened for Serena to be there, and that he could not ask in front of Lily.

When he heard Chuck's steps on the cold and rough floor, he looked up. He could see how much he was devastated and that surprised him. He had never seen him that way.

He sat on the chair next to him and cleared his voice before talking.

"The doctor said she is fine but resting now" he informed Carter.

He nodded silently but didn't add anything.

Chuck turned to his side to check on Lexie. He had avoided to give her back to Blair because he knew how much broken she could be now. Her best friend had just had a miscarriage and probably risked her life. She needed a moment.

"Is it..." he murmured, but Carter looked unable to continue.

He understood what he meant. "He said there was nothing left to do. Serena lost blood."

He found hard to say those words. Deep inside, they hurt him too. He had been in the same position few years before and it had been terrible. It took Blair months to get over it. You can't simply forget the life that was growing inside of you, with a blink of an eye.

Carter sighed with reassignment and put a hand on his forehead. He could hear him struggle with rage or sadness. That really amazed him because he would never think a guy like Carter Baizen would feel anything for anyone.

The baby moved a bit in his arms and he realized she was about to wake up.

As expected, she started to cry and she surely wasn't keeping her voice low. Chuck rolled his eyes and looked for her pacifier, fixed it in her mouth and waited for her to calm down again.

Lexie looked at him with her wide brown eyes while he was checking on her. He brushed her cheek with the back of his hand and instinctively smiled at her.

When she finally closed her eyes, he turned on Carter again.

Carter was staring at them and he looked curious. His dark face downed a bit and he managed to make a weak smile.

"This is the first time I see your daughter, Bass." He said. "She looks so beautiful."

Chuck smiled. "Thank you" he simply answered.

He took a look at his daughter to see that she had fallen asleep. Carter didn't say a word for the following minutes and he avoided to talk to not awake the baby. Their silence was broken when Blair informed them that Serena had woken up and they could see her.

Lily got in first, then left the room after half a hour. Chuck noticed her eyes were tired and that she was trying to keep them open against her will. He asked her if he wanted her to be accompanied home where she could rest and change, but his stepmother offered to remain there sitting with him and Carter until Blair would get out of the room.

…

When Blair closed the door behind her, Serena made a weak smile. Blair couldn't help but manage a soft grin too. She felt as if her best friend was trying to be brave.

She moved slowly towards the bed and sat down on the chair next to the nightstand.

Serena smiled again, this time more warmly. Blair thought she wasn't aware of what had happened nor she was trying to not think about it.

Blair took her hand before talking.

"You really scared us tonight. But you're still here."

Serena nodded and answered her with a weak voice. "I won't leave you, B."

She didn't know what words say. Her blonde friend was lying in a bed and looked quite wore out. It could seem a normal Saturday night of old times, if they weren't at an hospital.

Blair really wanted to say something more, but the words failed her. She was too shaken.

She had glossy eyes after a while, when Serena wasn't looking. She didn't want her to see her crying but she couldn't stop the tears for long. That place had brought back some memories from few months earlier and that, added to the fear of losing her best friend, made her feel uneasy. She wished the day would end soon.

Serena kept her eyes closed. She barely sighed. Blair could sense that she just wanted to rest, so she just stood up and tried not to make a lot of noises.

Her friend turned when she did it. "B, you should go home" she said after few minutes of silence.

Blair couldn't help but force the smiles. She wasn't sure why but she felt uncomfortable in that room. Maybe it was the cold of the night, or maybe what had just happened to her best friend that startled her. She felt utterly tired and fatigued. She looked at the clock on the wall and she noticed how late it was. She didn't want to leave her best friend.

She turned abruptly towards her, she was still sitting on her chair. "Are you sure?"

Serena heaved a sigh. "I need to rest and my mother will be here for the rest of the night."

She wasn't sure of leaving her, but she needed few moments. She felt as if she was abandoning her. She hated to feel that way.

Seeing her unsure, Serena tried to smile. "Go home, B. I'm okay."

"I will visit you tomorrow... okay?"

Serena nodded. "I will wait."

She gave her friend one last smile and hugged her before getting out of the door. She thought she would find Chuck and Carter waiting outside, but they weren't there anymore. She started walking on the way to the waiting room, but only spotted Chuck on a small couch.

He and the baby could be the perfect distraction from her now worried mood. She found Chuck sitting on the end of the couch with the baby next to him. He had adjusted her in the carrycot and was securely putting an arm on it as if he was hugging the baby and not the port-enfant.

She couldn't spot Lily soon until she approached her from behind.

"Are you finished with Serena? Can I get back in there?"

"Serena is waiting for you" Blair told her with a low voice. "Just... don't ask her too much questions for tonight. I know she's gonna confide with you sooner or later."

Lily sighed. "I will try not to. She has kept me this information hidden for weeks."

Blair put an arm on Lily's. "I know. But give her time. She just lost a baby."

"I'll see you tomorrow, Blair. Say goodbye to Charles and the baby for me." She said before walking away with a weak smile.

She hoped her mother in law would understand. It was true that Serena had kept the truth from her mother, but it was also true that Serena was scared to confide. She could understand her. She felt her body changing all of a sudden and wasn't sure she liked it. Maybe Serena still didn't want to grow up and make a choice. She still wanted to be free.

She went straight to the couch to go and wake Chuck up.

She touched the arm he was keeping on the carrycot and brushed her hand on his. She got an immediate response when he moved the hand and secure it on the accessory. He took few seconds to open his eyes and lazily look at his wife.

"You are better than an alarm" she murmured.

He rubbed his eyes. "What do you mean with that? I'm getting old."

"For Lexie. I tried to tease you but you kept your hold firm on her so that no one could have kidnapped her. That is so romantic, daddy Bass."

"I was just trying to do my job" he yawned in response.

She helped him up and took her bag from the couch. "Still sweet and caring" she raised an eyebrow and smiled before walking away with him and Lexie.

….

Next morning was uneventful.

Blair really wanted to go visit Serena at the hospital but by her surprise, her best friend had already been discharged. She felt relieved knowing that Serena was already feeling better and could actually go back home.

She had texted Blair in the morning to inform her not to come to Lenox Hill. She also said that she would see her soon, but she wasn't sure how soon.

Serena had been MIA before the pregnancy news. Blair wondered if it was because her friend was also afraid of her opinion about it. The issue wasn't Blair's best friend. She didn't know how she accepted becoming a mother without being married first. She had struggled with the idea of her body changing and her needs changing. She had to start taking care of another little person and couldn't not do it. After a long time fighting with the difficult changes, she accepted her life for what it was turning to be.

She was trying to pass her morning time by reading a gossip magazine. Alexandra was in her stroller, sleeping. Blair had decided to take her downstairs in the living room with her so that if she would wake up, she would be able to check on her soon.

Apparently the magazines she was reading were sure they weren't on good terms. There was a picture of her and Chuck at the New Year's Eve party held at the Palace and she was smiling at him, while his hand was placed on her hip. The picture was actually taken from the Gossip Girl website and probably snapped by a party goer who didn't know what to do.

_Hot-blooded New Year's_, titled the column dedicated to the Bass family.

Blair rolled her eyes when she read the stupid things it said. No one could keep their mouth shut when it came to them. "They don't know what to invent anymore" she complained while Dorota was passing the Hoover in the room.

"Another fake gossip, Miss Blair?"

She sighed. "Sadly. They think Chuck and I are hitting a rough patch because we aren't going out much together. I mean, that's silly! We do go out together. Just less. Our marriage isn't at risk. We love our baby and we love each other."

Dorota came closer and spied the magazine Blair was reading. She put it away when she saw her maid reading.

"That is very good picture of you and Mr Chuck" she commented.

"Dorota? This room needs cleaning!" she ordered when she saw her maid stopped working and was clearly amused to stare at the kinky picture on the magazine.

Dorota hurried up and kept using the Hoover, while Blair continued sighing at the fake news.

She was interrupted a while later when she heard steps behind her. She instinctively turned thinking it was Chuck, but it was Serena. She opened her mouth in surprise when her best friend stepped in. She was dressed very casual, a pair of jeans and a sweater. She also had no make-up and was carrying a large bag.

Blair tilted her head on the side. "Serena... what -"

"B, I need a favor" the blonde cut fast and walked to Blair. "I promise I won't ask you anything after this."

Serena sat down and Blair noticed her eyes were teary. She started to caress her friend's arm trying to calm her down. "What's wrong?"

She looked down and inhaled deeply. "I need a place to stay for a few days. I... fought with my mom and I don't want to come back in my house" she explained with a resigned voice.

"You can remain here all the time you want" Blair tried to comfort her. "I'll have Dorota prepare the guest room."

The girl smiled. "Thank you, B. I'll thank you someday for this."

Blair grinned at Serena and the two of them hugged. She went to ask Dorota to prepare the room on the same floor where her room was. When she came back, Serena looked lost. She was still and staring at something imperceptible on the wall in front of the couch.

When she reached her back on there, she started talking about something random. She didn't want Serena to re-experience the events of her miscarriage and apparent fight with Lily, so she thought it was better to gossip about something, like old times.

Serena seemed calm but numb. She still look tired and in Blair's opinion she should have rested, but she didn't dare to tell her. She thought that if Serena had to say more about how she was feeling, she would do it spontaneously. Or at least she hoped so.

She didn't want to be left out from her best friend's life again and hoped this wouldn't happen. The fact that Serena was there helped Blair to be closer to warm her.

They spent the hours till dinner time watching TV-shows and discussing them. Serena started cheering up a bit when Blair complained about the magazines and Gossip Girl. According to her, she was funny to watch when angry about some stupid things that website used to write about her family and her supposed break ups with Chuck.

Blair hoped her company would help Serena feel good.

The duo was having fun watching the fail red carpet looks when Chuck came back home. He was surprised to find Serena there at that time but decided not to say anything about it.

"Hi, ladies."

Serena rolled her eyes. "It was so good to be true. I hoped you would never come back."

Chuck went to kiss Blair's lips briefly before answering her. "You are so kind, sis. I, on the other hand I'm happy to have you here."

"Good. Because I'm going to stay for a few days" Serena replied.

His face was a mix of emotions. "I'm fine with it" he agreed.

Few minutes later, they started eating dinner.

"So Serena... how are you? I thought you would remain longer at the hospital" Chuck said.

Blair made a disapproval face and was about to pinch his arm if he wasn't that far from her seat. She thought he was not being delicate asking Serena this. It was too early.

Serena looked down and sipped her glass of water. "I'm good."

"What about Carter? Have you heard from him?" he tried to seem casual.

Blair glared at him but he avoided her angry faces.

Serena raised both eyebrows and tried to answer honestly. "I don't know why do you want to know. Is he your new best friend, Chuck?"

"Exactly, S is right" Blair interjected. "Why don't we just finish our meals? You're ruining dinner with all this talking. And annoying Serena too, I'm sure."

The blonde grinned at her. "It's okay. I am done with food for tonight. I think I'll just go to bed. I'll see you in the morning."

Blair smiled too and waited until Serena left the table and the room to start talking to Chuck again. She glared at him another time, but he was too fixed on his dish to even care. She then growled and finally got his attention. He was kinda confused or pretended to be.

"Don't look at me with those fake innocent eyes. What got to your mind?"

"I just asked my stepsister a question. I don't think I did something wrong."

Blair made a face. "After all the things she's been through during the last few hours? You know I thought the time were you asked inappropriate questions was over long ago."

"Sorry to disappoint you. My curiosity took over" he said with annoyance. "Plus, I just wanted to ask an information. Is it normal to ask how someone is doing, don't you think?"

She sighed. "Yeah, why not. I'm going to see if Lexie fell asleep."

Blair left the room and Chuck finished his lunch before taking a decision. He was somehow interested to know the truth after Carter had disappeared the night before and Serena seemed so hurt. If he was being such a coward leaving his girlfriend when she needed him the most, he wanted to find him and take him back there.

He wasn't even sure of why he was doing that but he felt as if he needed to know more.

Surprisingly, Carter replied to his text and agreed to meet. It was about ten in the evening when the tall guy decided to show up at the bar of the Palace hotel.

"Why did you call me" he murmured while sitting on a chair.

Chuck asked the bartender to bring them two drinks, before answering him. "Serena is staying at my penthouse" he said looking elsewhere. "I thought you may want to know."

Carter giggled lightly. "Maybe I don't."

The bartender gave them the drinks and Chuck didn't hesitate to drink before Carter. The guy seemed to be cautious at first. Maybe he was lost in his thoughts.

He sipped his drink slowly.

"I thought you were a coward. You didn't delude my expectations."

The blue-eyed turned and glared at him. "You don't know anything, Bass. Anything."

"Maybe I don't, but I consider leaving my sister after what happened last night as being coward. Don't you agree?" he snapped sharply.

Carter sighed and looked at his drink. "Look, I don't know what Serena told you... but there is a reason why I am sitting here carelessly and I'm not being with her. I'm not being coward" he said bitterly "this is just my reaction to everything."

"Run away is not the solution" Chuck stated with a little voice.

"I know" the other agreed. "But right now I'm not the one running away. She is."

Chuck frowned and looked for an explanation. Carter met his eyes and felt his curiosity too. He was insure whether of not telling him what he knew. There had never run good blood between them, but he sensed that in that moment there may be an understatement.

"I bet she didn't confide the real reason why she ended up at the hospital" he reasoned. Chuck gave him a short shook of his head and Carter just smiled. "I imagined. I shouldn't had trusted her. I shouldn't had... fallen in love with her." He admitted. "She just ignored everything and took her decision."

"What was that?" Chuck asked.

Carter started to nod rethinking about everything. "You know, moments before Serena fainted, we were partying at my suite here. I offered her a drink but she didn't want to take it. I thought that wasn't a strange behavior since there are days where you don't feel like drinking anything alcoholic, but I felt she was feeling weird that night. We were carried away at some point. Serena was worried for something and didn't seem quite happy to be with me until she woke up from her reverie and started drinking one champagne after another that I couldn't keep the pace either. She fell on the bed after the fourth or fifth one and seemed unconscious. I tried to wake her up but she simply wouldn't."

"And that is why you ended up at Lenox Hill" Chuck supposed.

"Yeah" Carter agreed. "She woke up when we were in the limo. That's when I noticed the blood and freaked out. I thought she had cut herself or something like that. I couldn't think it was..."

Chuck sighed. "I know how it feels" he cut short taking back his memories to almost a year before when happened the same thing to Blair.

Carter bit his lip and ordered another strong drink before replying. "She didn't tell me she was pregnant. Comprehend? I found out that she was expecting right before she lost it."

He could well understand Carter now. "Don't you think maybe this is the moment she needs more help? She is surely scared."

"She had her occasion and she lost it. I'm not a lie-guy anymore, Bass." He said coldly.

….

Blair lied in bed wide awake when Chuck came back home.

"Where have you been? You didn't tell me you were going out" she wanted to know.

Chuck sighed heavily and started getting undressed. "I'm sorry, I forgot had to check on something before bed."

She had her arms crossed on her chest and an eloquent expression on her face. "Really?"

"Are you jealous now?" he teased.

"Chuck."

He rolled his eyes and hesitated. "I went to see Carter Baizen" he confessed.

"I was right saying you were out of your mind."

He shrugged. "At least I've got my explanation now" he said while looking for his pajama. He didn't wait to continue, he knew Blair wanted to know too. "He told me Serena didn't tell him anything up until they were headed to the hospital."

She frowned. "Should I believe you? This doesn't sound like Carter at all."

"I was pretty surprised myself. Have you talked to Serena?"

Blair snorted. "It's too early for that. She's still shocked by what happened."

He didn't look like he agreed. "The best thing when you have a problem, is face it. She lost a baby, okay. What we want to do now is be by her side, don't we? But she also has to allow us or we can't help her through this."

"You don't help people just by making them talk about their problems. You try to distract them."

He shrugged again before reaching the bed and crawling under the covers. "See it as you want, Blair. But the sooner she opens up with someone about what happened, the sooner she'll find peace."

Blair started thinking about it. "You look like a philosopher... you gave me an idea" she said as she jumped off bed. "If you're really right, let's see it. If she needs to talk, we'll talk."

She smiled one last time and decided to go to the guest room Serena was staying in. She found her awake as she expected. The blonde turned fast when she broke in the room, and wondered what did it make her came there so late at night.

Blair sat down on the bed next to her and grinned.

"B, what happened? Is Chuck still out?" she wondered.

Blair kept smiling. "Tell me the truth, S. How are you feeling?"

Serena looked down and avoided her friend's glances.

"You know you can tell me. I'm still your best friend. I won't judge you."

The blonde inhaled deeply and tried to talk. "I may have lied to you, Blair" she started to say. "I... didn't come here just because I fought with my mom. I was also running from someone else."

"Carter?" Blair tried to test, but Serena shook her head.

"Me." She said with liberation. "I was so inconsiderate... I drank too much... I lost my mind too much. I think I also lost track of who I wanted to be in my life."

"You're not the only one. Don't forget you're never alone" Blair reminded her.

Serena nodded. "This doesn't change things. I purposely got drunk last night" she said as she tried not to cry. "I couldn't make the right decision. I lied to my mom, I lied to Carter. I couldn't look at my face in the mirror anymore. I was just a girl with no direction in life who wasn't sure she wanted to become a mother."

"You're here now. You survived that" she caressed her arm and tried to calm her down while she was crying. "And I'm here with you. Everyone wants to be here with you."

She nodded. "I know... is better I'm the only one who survived after all. Truth is... I didn't want the baby. I didn't want it at all." She admitted.

Blair seemed surprised and couldn't answer her friend.

Serena looked down. "Much has changed since that day" she sighed. "I wanted this baby at first. I really did. Truth is that after a while me and Carter started to argue more often because I didn't want to tell Lily and Rufus about it."

"So he wanted to help you with this" she realized and kept caressing her friend's arm.

She motioned a yes. "He was actually very caring. He kept asking me how I was feeling and tried to make me feel good. But I realized that I didn't want to become a mother now. I didn't want a baby at this age. I just wanted to get back to what I used to be. I just didn't want to grow up. I felt I didn't want to take that road."

"Why didn't you tell me?" Blair asked with wonder and suddenly took her hand.

Her friend bit her lip and her voice quivered while she talked. "Because I didn't think you could help me, Blair. I knew you would tell me to keep the baby and go on with this mess, but it wasn't what I wanted." She sobbed.

"Oh, S" she tightened the grip on her friends' hand. "If this is what you wanted then it's okay. I just hope that next time you are going to talk to me. I'm always here for you. It doesn't matter I have a family now. You are my family too."

"I promise" Serena said with a quiet tone.

"That's all I needed to hear" she smiled and finally hugged her best friend.

….

Blair felt lighter when she got back to her bedroom. "You're awake, thank God."

Chuck was playing with the baby. Apparently the sleep she had got so far that day hadn't been enough. "What was the difference if I were asleep?"

She shrugged. "Do you mind if I sleep with Serena tonight?" she asked sheepishly.

"Are you publicly asking my permission to betray me?" he teased her.

Blair started playing with the hem of her nightgown when she sat down on the bed next to him. She wasn't at ease talking about Serena's decision. She wasn't happy about it at all. "She told me she didn't want that baby. She said... she was relieved it ended." She said with what it looked like disappointment. "I just want to make her feel I'm here for her, that's all."

He looked skeptical. "Is this making you sad?"

"More than sad it's making me think."

"Think about what?" He wondered.

She looked down abruptly and pretended to check her feet on the warm duvet. "Do you remember when it happened to me?."

"I can't forget."

Blair watched her feet and moved the silk of her slip in her hands. She couldn't look elsewhere. She felt as if she would look at him and the baby or wandered around the room, she would lost the focus off her memories. She wasn't sure why she was torturing herself with the images. She didn't want to relive those painful moments in her head, but she was too masochist to stop the thoughts from appearing.

She remembered the moment when she started to feel dizzy. Her body was shaking and she started losing blood. It was the second month of her pregnancy and she feared that she would lose her first baby, the baby she wasn't expecting that early.

She imagined how things would change from there, if they would have lost their child.

She felt she would get pregnant again sooner or later. He would try anything to be there for her and help her through everything and try to move on and don't get depressed over it. They would still have much time to try and to become parents. She was so relieved every time she realized that she was just having a vivid deja-vu.

She felt his hand touching hers and she automatically shifted her body to where he was. She felt tears coming as soon as he placed their hands on the back of the baby that meanwhile was falling asleep. She looked like a little angel.

"What do you say we put her in her crib?"

Blair smiled and got a hold of her daughter. She kissed her head and went to place her under the warm covers of her tiny bed before wiping away her tears. She realized that Alexandra was one of the best things happened in her life.

She would never regret getting pregnant with Chuck and having her.

She reached the bed and she and Chuck exchanged one last kiss. She wished him goodnight and decided to go to the bathroom before getting back to Serena and sleep together like they used to do the old times.

She was feeling stomach cramps that night. She went to the bathroom to check if that was the sign of her period coming. She knew that it would come back sooner or later. She had read that women who breastfeed daily for a lot of months usually didn't get their periods soon because of the protection that gave them the lactational amenorrhea method. Basically, it worked as a contraception but it wasn't given that it would effectively work.

She hadn't breastfeed for while when she had fever around October. The baby was also having baby formula for lunch and dinner, she was now only giving Lexie her milk in the afternoon. She was starting to feel annoyed and sad more often and she felt tired.

She felt as if she had to go to her gyno soon for confirmation. What if she was pregnant again?

…

Well... how was it? I am not really really proud of this, but I think it's more of a filler chapter. Next time will be better, I promise. Not sure if I'll post it before or on Valentine's Day, but I tell you in advance that the chapter will be set on Vday.

Hope to hear from you soon, comments are always welcome. :)


	22. Forsythia

Hope you'll like this.

Next chapter is the one to "celebrate" one year that I have written this fanfic.

Comments make my life better! :)

….

She decided to go to her doctor few days later. She wasn't feeling anxious about her period still not coming, she was just slightly worried.

It wasn't the possibility of the new pregnancy itself that worried her. She was more worried about how her family would take it. Alexandra was just five months old. She had come unplanned and taking care of her was harder everyday as she grew up.

Plus, Blair wasn't aware of Chuck's reaction of the news. She didn't think he would be opposed to have another baby but the problem was the timing. Too soon after the first one.

She sighed with tension while she awaited for the person that got in the room before her to get out.

"Are you... Blair Waldorf?" She heard someone ask with a rather annoying voice.

She turned on the right to acknowledge this person. It was a blonde girl she had never seen before nor remembered. "Yes. I mean, actually I'm Blair Waldorf-Bass now."

The girl seemed excited. "I know! You're so lucky! I hoped I would meet you someday. I've always been a fan of you since you went to Constance School."

"Uhm... really?" she asked with surprise.

"You were great in high school. I've got all of your styles in a scrapbook and I even own a page with your outfits! You are like a celebrity for me. My sister hated you but I always talked good of you and I love your story with Chuck Bass! I was so glad when you two got married."

Blair frowned and made an awkward smile. "Oh."

The conversation stopped once she heard the door in front of them open. An overconfident Penelope exited it and soon glared at Blair. She was carrying a baby that was possibly a little bit older than Lexie.

"Look who is here. Pregnant again, Blair?" She asked with an acid tone.

She pursed her lips. "I could ask you the same question, Penelope. Still single?"

Penelope seemed disturbed by the demand, and didn't answer but the girl did for her. "Penny still hasn't found a guy yet. The father of my niece has a new woman."

"Maggie, shut up!" Penelope took the girl by the shoulder and made her stand up.

"But Penny! That is the truth" the girl tried to justify herself while Penelope tried to take her away from the seats where Blair was. The girl turned one last time before they got in the elevator. "By the way, it was a pleasure knowing you, Blair!"

Blair grinned at the girl and waved before the duo disappeared. She rolled her eyes and sighed. She should probably change her doctor if she didn't want to meet Penelope again next time. Finally, the woman freed and asked her to get in.

She got in and sat in front of the desk and waited for the doctor to find her folder.

"How are we going, Mrs Bass?"

She smiled at the woman and giggled lightly. She still had a weird sensation when someone called with her married surname.

"I'm fine but I'm really tired these days."

"Is it because of your baby? Have you stopped nursing her with your milk?"

Blair shook her head. "Partially. Some things happened after the last time we saw each other. I... I still haven't got my period yet."

"That's not unusual, Blair. Many women got their period back after a year they delivered" she explained. "All depends on how much you are breastfeeding your baby and on your hormones, of course. Every woman is different."

The woman then asked her to undress and visit her. Blair couldn't understand if after she started the check up she was taking a lot of time because she wanted to be sure, or because she was simply being slow.

Blair wanted and needed to know. She was truly afraid of the results of the visit, her doctor had no idea.

She was asked to get dressed again after a long inspection.

She tried to tell the informations as better as she could, when she sat back down on the chair in front of the desk. "I don't give my milk all day to my baby. My mother suggested me to give her solid food for one time a day and baby formula. I tried this for a few days and thought it was better because I was feeling less breast soreness."

The doctor nodded "You are doing the right thing. Start eating solid food such as puree after your baby turned five months is normal. The baby needs to be wean... you are giving her your milk less and less? How is that going?"

"I only give her my milk in the afternoon. You know, after I also rested for a while."

"I see. Well, besides that how is your sexual life? When was the last time?"

She bit her lip and looked at the satchel on her legs. "Last week... the day before yesterday. Yeah."

"Have you had any other intercourse before that?" she asked while she wrote down the infos.

"It was just foreplay before that" she said with a low tone. "But few times before the new year, on Christmas Day... I can't remember all the times. We used protection back then."

"And now you are not anymore?"

She looked up and shook her head.

"You often did it without protection" the doctor reasoned and Blair silently nodded. "I can't say that the breastfeeding method works fine for everyone. You can still ovulate and don't acknowledge it. You also had a few weeks nursing period because you had breast fever, am I correct?"

Blair nodded again.

"Then I really need you to do another check up in one month. I guess we don't have to worry now. Your period looks still blocked because you're breastfeeding."

"Are we really sure about that?" she asked with clear worry.

The woman seemed worried for Blair herself. "What's wrong, Blair? You are afraid you may be pregnant again? You need to be calm. Your period may be coming anytime since you are not breastfeeding all the time but it could also be delayed of few months."

She sighed. "I do want another baby if there may be the case. Just not now. Alexandra was born less than seven months ago and I'm still getting used of her in my life. If I get pregnant again, I could dedicate her less time. I don't want this."

"The possibility you might be pregnant is really low. I've followed you since the start and I know your pattern. You should try to think positive."

She didn't know how to explain the woman how she was feeling.

She wasn't sure why she felt so anxious in the first place. She knew that it was unlikely that she was pregnant because her period had yet to come back. She knew about the natural protection she had because of nursing. Still, she wasn't sure it had worked all the times.

She felt as if she wasn't able to control it. Truthfully, she wasn't. She couldn't control neither her emotions, nor her hormones.

Her doctor kept telling that she wasn't in danger but she couldn't fully be sure of it.

"Come here in one month again. We'll see how your analysis are and we'll also do an ultrasound if that's the case."

She frowned. "Can't we do it now?"

"Wouldn't give us anything. It's been two months since you didn't use any protection anymore and one since you aren't giving your milk to the baby like you used to."

She sighed.

"Try to enjoy your days. We'll see each other the day before Valentine's Day, Mrs Bass."

….

One month later, Blair exited the study of her doctor with a little reassurance but not enough to actually make her change her mood.

She couldn't stop thinking about possibilities. What would be of her if she was pregnant again?

She wasn't afraid of Chuck's reaction. She was sure that whatever the case she might have another baby in less than a year, would have pleased him. He already loved Lexie and it wouldn't be hard for him to love another person with his own blood.

She reasoned that if she was at least four weeks along, the newborn would be delivered when Alexandra would be one year old. That was a critical period for a baby. She would learn to move the first steps and say the first words. She would start to build tension between her and them because she would start to understand more than before.

She didn't want her daughter to feel put aside just because she was pregnant.

Her doctor suggested her to try to distract with anything and push away the idea of being pregnant. She added that she could call her and come back to her study if she felt other symptoms that may make her worried.

Dr Crane had had her do another blood test that morning, just to be sure. She had seen that it wasn't impossible for her to be expecting again but that she still needed to be positive and optimist. Nothing was set in stone, even if she felt it already was.

She had stopped nursing her baby all the times Lexie had to eat because she seemed to refuse her milk. Her doctor had told her it was normal, but she hated when her daughter would stop sucking and would feel enough. She felt as if the baby didn't want nor need her milk anymore. Yet, she always tried to put it in the afternoon meal for her. She thought her baby was getting used to puree and baby formula, she didn't want that anymore.

This made her feel so anxious. Breastfeeding wouldn't protect her like it used to if she stopped doing it or did less and less. She would have more chances to return to her routines and probably really get pregnant again.

She went out of the study few hours before dinner and thought she could spend the rest of the afternoon before it with Serena. She was caught off guard when she spotted Chuck leaning against her limo. She wasn't expecting him at all.

She smiled and tried to hide that her head was somewhere else. "I thought you were at work."

"I was" he said with a sharp voice. "The group of Canadians who was staying at the Empire left two hours ago and I decided to get out of work earlier."

"Sure, I remember about the Canadians" she said with not so much conviction. "How do you know I was here? I didn't tell you."

He touched his lips with two fingers and smiled as well. "I read it on Gossip Girl."

She made a face. "I wonder when she'll stop tracking us down. It's really annoying."

"I know" he shrugged. "But without her, I wouldn't have found you now."

"True." But _you could have called_, she wanted to tell him.

Blair felt as if she was unable to say a long phrase. She needed to be alone for a while but she didn't want to explicitly tell him that.

He raised one eyebrow. He looked suspicious. "You don't seem happy to see me" he stated.

She dropped her thoughtful expression and grinned again. "No, no. What are you thinking?" she laughed very awkwardly. "It was just... unexpected."

"Aren't some unexpected things good because they are unexpected?"

She waited a moment before answering. "Would you have liked it if it was me who surprised you with something? Since tomorrow it's Valentine's Day and all" she teased him.

"Of course I would."

She pursed her lips and looked down. She wasn't sure of what she would tell him. Of course she wouldn't confess her worries about being possibly pregnant... yet. But she felt as if she had to tell him something.

"What is that face" he murmured and caressed her cheek.

She timidly looked up to face him. "Nothing, absolutely nothing" she lied.

He pursed his lips, still unsure. "Why don't we do something before dinner?" he suggested.

As much as spending time with him sounded good, it wasn't what she needed that afternoon.

"I can't stay, Serena is waiting for me. I promised her to go shopping."

"Then alright. I'll see you at dinner?" he wondered.

Blair bit her lip and shrugged. "Later."

….

Blair couldn't help by feeling a bit guilty of her choice. She had decided to stay away from him for a few hours in the possibility of calming down. She was getting too much anxious over an unlikely pregnancy, what would she do if she was actually expecting?

She walked to Serena's building with the hope of finding her best friend in.

She had been a guest at Chuck and Blair's penthouse for over a week, during the past month. They had slept in the same bed for two nights in a row and remembering old times, until Blair thought she had to return to her daily routines and Serena had start trying to heal her wounds and talk with Carter and Lily about it.

It helped her that he knocked on their door after three days Serena was staying there.

He and Serena had talked and she had explained him why she didn't tell him about her pregnancy soon. It had been hard but she had made it.

It looked like Carter really liked Serena. Blair couldn't believe her eyes and hears when she heard him say I love you to her best friend. Carter had been a womanizer as much as Chuck in the old days. Seeing these changes and steps ahead that he had made, warmed her heart.

She only wanted the best for Serena.

Her friend had got back to her house after a while. Lily had been happy to have her daughter back, the two tried to discuss things that Serena had left unsaid and made up.

Now Serena felt rather positive and lighter and Blair kept being by her side almost everyday. At least she was fine now.

When she reached the apartment of the Van der Woodsens, Lily was sitting on the couch reading a book. She looked alone but Serena could still be in her room for all she knew.

She got up and hurried to hug her when she made her presence clear. "Hello, Blair! I'm happy to see you."

She smiled. "Is Serena home?"

"You girls had to meet today? She left few hours ago for Caracas."

Blair seemed disappointed by the explanation. She really could use a talk with her best friend.

"I didn't know she was headed to Venezuela." She rolled her eyes.

Lily moved to give her space to sit on the couch. "I really have no idea of when she'll be back home. I can try to call her or give her your message if you want."

She shook her head with a smile. "That's okay. I can visit another time" she answered.

Her mother-in-law was distracted from a text on her phone and decided to answer before getting back on her. In the meantime, Blair decided to glance at hers. She had got one missed calls and two texts, both from Serena.

_I'm not home, B. Carter and I'm out of the country and I'm not gonna get back until Friday. -S_

She felt as if she had went there for nothing. If she had known before, she would have gone to another place.

Lily sighed. "What's wrong, Blair?"

She raised her head and grinned. She didn't need to show her that she was clearly worried and the fact that Serena was out was making things harder. She needed someone to talk to.

"Serena just informed me of her trip to South America" she explained.

Lily tilted her head on the side. "I'm sorry she's not here. I thought she told you."

She managed a smile and shrugged.

Her expression changed once Lily got another text that made her giggle. She felt like laughing too, seeing how many texts was getting her best friend's mother. She was texting like a young girl. She probably thought she was texting with Rufus.

She looked up and had an excited expression on her face. Blair looked exhausted.

"Is everything okay?"

Blair nodded. She didn't need her to know about her pregnancy fear. "I should go" she said as she stood up, then thought about it again. "Can I use the bathroom before I go?"

Lily nodded her head and Blair left the room for the toilet.

She knew that she wanted to go there not for a real urge but to check if something had changed. She was freaked out without needing to but she couldn't stop thinking about it.

She closed the door behind her with the key and went to check herself out.

She did it fast and expected what she saw. There was nothing saying her period was back yet, as well as she was in a particular state.

She reluctantly fixed her clothes once again and then sat on the edge of the bathtub to cry. She couldn't help but making the tears wet her face and ruin her mascara. She felt feared without needing to be and her mind wasn't able to stop her from being.

She also forgot that in the afternoon she usually tried to give her milk to her baby. She was exhausted that she was forgetting things.

She went out of the bathroom with her bag in her hand and looked for Lily to say goodbye.

She found her in the kitchen behind the counter, she was drinking what it looked like water.

"You are leaving?"

She nodded. "It's almost dinner time and I thought me and Chuck could use a meal together."

"Yes, you do" Lily agreed then put the glass on the counter. "Who knows, maybe he can help you with your problem while Serena is away."

Blair looked at her hands and sighed. "I don't think he can, actually... you know, girls things" She exclaimed with a giggle that came out very awkward from her mouth.

Lily's tone grew serious. "I heard you cry in the bathroom, Blair."

"Crying?" she asked with another awkward laughter.

"If you have a problem, remember that I'm here to listen to you. I know I may not be Serena and that you may feel conditioned that I am your husband's mother, but I can help."

Blair shook her head and looked away. "I can live with it" she lied. "I need to go now."

"Okay" Lily murmured before Blair walked away very fast. "I'll see you."

….

She hurried for her limo and wasn't sure what she would do now.

She asked her driver to take her home, hoping she could at least use some time alone. She just wanted to read a magazine or do something for herself before dinner.

She found Chuck sitting in the foyer with the baby. When he noticed her, he jumped off it and came to greet her.

"I thought you wouldn't get back before shops would close."

Blair seemed perplexed he thought so. "You don't want me here?" she tried to joke. "I'm kidding. Serena wasn't home, that is all. She went to Caracas with Carter" she rolled her eyes.

He frowned. "Oh. I'm sorry, I know you needed to go shopping so badly."

"Yeah, I did. But there's time when she gets back for that. How is my baby, by the way?"

"Your baby is really horny and wants to you give you a kiss" he smirked at her.

Blair rolled her eyes pretending to be disgusted. "I meant the _other_ baby" she punched his arm lightly and took the baby from his arms.

Chuck looked at them with amused eyes. "Sad to know I'm your baby number two."

She froze after she started thinking about it. "W-what?" she pretended to be distracted.

"I said that I'm disappointed to be your baby number two."

She shrugged. "Maybe you aren't. I consider both of you on the same footing."

He pretended to be jealous. "At least Alexandra can't have you the way I do" he smirked.

"Chuck!" She admonished him and rolled her eyes as she walked away towards the stairs. She just wanted to kick off her shoes and have a calm dinner.

She took the baby in her room and put her on the big bed. Lexie protested when she was put down but Blair had to change before she could take her back in her arms. She gave the baby a kiss and decided to feed her since she hadn't been home in the afternoon to do so.

She sat on the small couch of Lexie's nursery and opened her shirt to let her latch.

The baby was used to the gesture and she soon started to suck with energy, to Blair's surprise.

"Hey, hey! You really are hungry today. Didn't your father give you anything?" she wondered. She knew Lexie couldn't answer her yet. She just heard mumbles.

She started caressing her baby's head kindly. "What would do do if I'd tell you will have a brother or a sister? Would you like it?"

The baby kept eating and often looked at her mother with dreamy eyes.

"Yeah, I know. You still want your mother all for yourself. I know the feeling. I was like you. But I actually didn't want any sibling. I just wanted my mother home with me" she said with melancholy.

Lexie suddenly removed her tiny mouth from Blair's left breast. "Is the milk already finished?" she asked with worry as she tried to latch the baby again without success. Alexandra seemed as if she didn't want to suck anymore. She tried to push with sweetness but she hurt there so she stopped and decided to give her baby her other breast.

When she did so, the baby still didn't look as if she wanted to keep eating.

She bit her lip and tried several times to latch the baby but she didn't want to. She pressed on her breast to try it as if milk would flow out of it, but she didn't have any leak as she expected.

She started to panic as if that would be any indication that she had stopped producing milk or something of the same nature. She didn't know what to do and her freak control over things made her feel as if she had to try and try until Alexandra would be nursed, even if she knew it was probably due to the fact that her baby was getting used of other food.

She tried several times without any success. The baby even started crying when she tried to block her from duck her head on the side because she didn't want to suck anymore.

"Why can't you eat" Blair murmured in the middle of the room as she tried to change positions.

She tried everything until she felt exhausted and she started to cry for no reason.

Chuck came to tell her that dinner was ready few minutes later. She hated that he would see her crying. She didn't want him to ask her why even if she knew he would. Plus, the baby was crying too so it was a big sad picture to look at.

He approached her on the couch and put a protective hand on her back.

He tried to shush her as she avoided his glances. She didn't oppose when he took Alexandra back from her arms and tried to calm the crying baby.

Blair covered herself with her arms on her chest and put her hands on her face so that she wouldn't see him. She felt so hormonal in that moment that she hoped it was a sign that after all she wasn't that pregnant, or maybe that she was it too much.

He waited until the baby calmed down to put her back in her crib. He got back where she was still emotional and hiding from him. He adjusted his arm behind her back and took her closer to him until her body touched his.

She kept crying silently until she recoiled back and looked at the floor while she fixed her shirt.

She shook her head and wiped away her tears before she had the strength to finally look him in the eyes.

He tried to soothe her. "What's wrong?"

Blair's eyes drifted away from his. "The baby doesn't want my milk" she whispered.

"Mmmh" he mouthed "are you sure about that? Your milk is delicious."

She had the instinct to smile at that one. "Don't joke."

"Was just trying to make you laugh" he shrugged. "What's wrong, Blair?" he echoed.

"I don't want Alexandra to stop eating my milk" she said shyly. "I hate baby formula and all that garbage we're giving her. And I... I read that if you breastfeed you have less chances to get pregnant again after you deliver."

He looked really surprised of the news. "Is it? That is why you didn't want me to use any protection these last two months?"

She nodded silently, but he wasn't hooked on that yet. It wasn't a lie, but it wasn't what was wrong with her either.

"You didn't know?" she tried to seem detached.

He cleared his voice. "That sounded new to me."

She tried to smile at him and then her eyes fell on the floor again. "You know, Chuck, maybe that is not my only worry right now." She sighed. "I... I went to my doctor this morning and you know that because you saw me" she spontaneously giggled. "I was really worried, greatly worried, that I was – that I was" she exhaled one last breath "that I was pregnant."

Blair didn't dare to look at him at first. She couldn't bear to look at his face, if he would have showed disapproval for her news. She feared his reaction so much because he was also involved in this.

She really felt she went back in time to one year before when she had to tell him she was pregnant with Alexandra.

She had feared that moment for so long. They were just twenty-two years old that had yet to get married. She still didn't have a job and didn't know who she wanted to be in her life. Getting pregnant with Chuck, the love of her life, was one thing. Getting pregnant of a baby before marriage, was another.

Her courage helped back then reveal her truth without fear. She thought it was now or never. She was expecting a baby and she couldn't go back. She needed to let it out.

Now the situation was kinda the same except that they were married and that she had a job, but their daughter was still too young.

They had gleefully talked about babies while Lexie was in Blair's tummy, but they never actually made plans of having more after her and that soon. She really didn't know how he would take it, but now that truth was out she hoped for the best.

Chuck seemed quite neutral when she looked up.

A slight smile appeared on his features and made her feel better. Chuck smiling usually meant good things. She knew him.

"Why is that" he asked with a really low voice.

She bit her lip and tried to explain him. "I was feeling really weird one month ago, when Serena was staying here. I have no idea why I felt as if my life was going back to what it used to before I had Lexie, but for one thing. All of my, well routines" she rolled her eyes "still weren't back, I went to my doctor to have a check up and she told me I was okay. But now, things are the same. I feel super hormonal and horny and my belly looks swelling."

"You've always been like this, Blair. Horny and all" he shrugged and got a punch on his arm in response. "I mean, Lexie _changed us_ but we are still the same Chuck and Blair."

"My belly is still swelling, though" she sighed.

He sighed back and tried to caress her arm. "There are many reasons why you feel this way. Maybe you are not pregnant again. Maybe you are just stressed."

She frowned. "Are you an expert now?" she rolled her eyes.

"I just think you are overreacting. Have you done a blood test?"

"She's going to send me in the results tomorrow."

"Well don't we wait before freaking out? It's just a day" he answered.

Blair got up then. She sighed and turned to him. She wasn't really getting calm and it was also because of him. She had no idea why he didn't seem to comfort her like she wanted to.

"You look as if you don't care" she said with a cold voice.

He frowned. "What makes you think that?" He stood up too and opened his arms in disbelief. "You know that is not true."

"What would happen if I'm really pregnant again, huh? Another Blairzilla who gets fatter everyday and another little boy or girl to look up to when she's done. We can barely keep up with Lexie, what would we do if we have another one?" she complained with sadness.

He tried to take her hands but we wouldn't let him. "What would happen, Blair" he started "would be having a bigger family. I don't care it's too soon. If you really have another baby Bass inside of you and it's not just your body doing tricks, he or she will be welcomed."

He made her smile. "You would be okay with it?"

He nodded. "I don't know why I shouldn't be. I love you" he kissed her cheek gently. "And if, by any chance, this turns out to be true... it would be another great gift for Valentine's Day."

Blair smiled more widely and felt a bit better. She still didn't know what were the results but knowing that he would be okay made her feel as if she had a lighter weight upon her shoulders to carry. It was still heavy in some parts. The worry and anxiety she was feeling would only disappear once she would find out if her suspicions were true.

"Valentine's Day" she murmured to him.

He gave her another kiss on the cheek and made her look at him in the eyes. "I wanted to give you your gift tomorrow, but I guess I can't wait for you to see it" he said with an enthusiastic voice. "Prepare your bags and get ready."

She was perplexed. "Why?"

He smirked. "We're leaving. And you are not supposed to know where to" he winked at her.


	23. Blossom

Hi all! Not too much to say about this chapter but that this is the anniversary chapter, as that is one year that I've started writing this. Valentine's Day was last week but I couldn't make it to post it before last Saturday, I hope it's fine and that you'll like this. And as much as I'm disappointed with the show right now, I don't feel like it will influence my writing for this fanfic.

Hope you'll enjoy!

….

Blair felt really ecstatic about the surprise he had prepared for her. It would sure help her distract and let the time pass fast until the day after, the day of truth.

She felt it was really ironic that she would find out if she was pregnant or not, on Valentine's Day. She had already lived this, one year before. She had already been scared she could have been expecting and had been worried about the impact the news would have on Chuck.

It was now easier to wait for the answer now that she had finally confessed him why she had been living as if her body was there and her mind not.

She went to her closet to start packing her clothes. She wasn't sure of the place he would take her. She decided to take with her heavy clothes and summer outfits, swimsuits included. They might have left for some resort and she didn't want to be unprepared.

Chuck had already put all of his clothes in his suitcase that she noticed at the entrance of the large closet room.

She really wanted to know where they were headed and she couldn't wait.

It had been long since he had surprised her. Last time he did was on Lexie's first month. He had bought his daughter the restaurant on the top of the Plaza Hotel, such a fantastic gift she had enjoyed too.

Now she really didn't care if she would get something or not, she just wanted to feel calm.

"The baby just fell asleep" he informed her while she was choosing some lingerie from the low drawer. "I've already called Lily to tell her we're taking Lexie there in few hours."

Blair turned with a distracted expression. "She's not coming with us?"

He walked closer to her and put a hand on her hip. "Don't we need a vacation alone? She's going to be fine with Rufus and Lily. We're just going to stay away for less than a week."

"Less than a week without our baby?" she asked again.

He moved his hand on her back and tried to explain her. "She's going to be okay. Alexandra eats baby formula and some solid food now. Lily can provide that for her. It's not the end of the world, just a little price to pay to rest for a few days."

She sighed with indecision. "I don't know... won't she feel our absence? We've never left her for more than a few hours." She looked away, thinking about the whole thing. "Can't we take her with us? She can do no harm. Plus, she will fly for the first time."

He didn't look of the same advice. "I love our daughter. I really do. But I also love you and I know how much you need a break from all of this. You've been worrying too much. And now you're worried too, and I can't take it anymore. I want to see you happy and rested at least for a day." He caressed her cheek. "If you don't want to do it for me, do it for yourself. You owe you."

Blair wasn't too much convinced. Not that she didn't want to leave Lexie to her grandparents, she was just afraid that the baby could feel her absence during those days they would be away. She didn't want the baby to think she and Chuck had abandoned her.

"Chuck, I don't think we should leave her. It's not good for her growth."

"Few days won't damage anyone. I swear. Don't you believe me?" he smiled. "We can do video calls with Lily. I'll bring the laptop."

She still seemed undecided. "I won't have any chance to try giving her my milk."

He got even closer and took her face into his hands. "You are worried this may impact on our protection? I can use a condom next time we do it, if it's why you want to keep breastfeeding."

"It's not that I'm worried about" she started explaining. His eyes pleaded for an answer. "I don't really want to wean her."

"And have your breast sore?"

She shrugged. "I just don't wanna... break the connection we created. My chest hurts every time I nurse her, that's true. But I admit that sensation makes me feel better. I gave my daughter what she needed to survive. I would find it gross few years ago, but now I think it's the most beautiful thing of this world."

"You won't break the connection, like, ever. It's your daughter, Blair. You said it. She is growing and she needs food for her age now. As much as you want to give her your milk, you can't do it forever. The same way you won't have to hold her for the rest of her life, because she can't walk. Someday she will and you will have to help her standing up and try herself. Things don't stay forever. There are periods that start and then end. You have to accept that."

She sighed and touched her forehead. "It's so hard to do it sometimes. I don't want her to fall and hurt herself. I want to be with her and don't let that happen."

"But it needs to. And we'll be there for her when she falls."

He brushed the back of his hand on her cheek and she managed to smile.

"Let me grab few things from this closet and finish my suitcase, and we'll leave."

….

Around midnight, they left the Van der Woodsens. Blair had managed to fall Lexie asleep and had put her under the covers of the crib they had brought at Lily's house. The woman seemed eager to spend few days with her granddaughter and promised them she would call to inform them about the baby and if she had eaten and so on.

It had been hard for Blair to say goodbye to her daughter, but she decided that it was true that she needed few days of vacation. Her baby would still love her after that small trip. She needed a distraction meanwhile she waited for the results of her test.

Their jet was waiting for them at the heliport when they arrived.

Arthur managed to bring all of their suitcases inside, while Blair already got in and decided to go and get ready for the night. She wasn't aware of their destination, she might as well be ready to wake up in the past or in the future, when they would arrive.

When all of their belongings were on the plane, Chuck reached her and said that they were about to take off. He found her in the bedroom my her pajamas on, switching channels on TV.

"You're ready for this?" he asked with a thrilled voice.

She looked up and smiled. "I'm curious to know where we'll go. We've never done a real voyage since the Christmas before this one."

He nodded and sat down on the edge of the bed to kick off his shoes. "It's true. But we couldn't before, could we?"

"We should had left for our honeymoon in August. Unfortunately..." she looked sad.

He turned to stare at her. "Fortunately we stayed within New York areas so that you wouldn't deliver our baby on a plane or on a beach and got mad at me for leaving."

"Yes, but I had my baby in a limo" she answered, all conceited.

Chuck giggled and looked for his robe somewhere in the room. "I thought you liked limos. Plus, our baby will have some nice story to tell her friends, when she'll grow up. Not many kids have the luck to be born in vehicles" he smirked.

"Or the disgrace" she rolled her eyes.

He shook his head and reached her on the bed. He was amused when she was being sarcastic like that, proof that she had never regretted her past actions. "The same disgrace you had years ago when you decided to take me there?"

He got closer to her and kissed her neck. Blair's skin burned under his touch and she shivered quickly. She knew he wasn't really going to stop there, she had no idea how far he would go for the night. She had had a long evening.

Chuck's hand wrapped her leg on his and his lips reached hers. She proudly and sleepily exchanged the kiss, she did want to taste his mouth as much as he wanted to taste hers. It was Valentine's Day, she was sure they wouldn't end that without loving each other.

Blair's lazy hand grabbed his hair and pushed her body eagerly against him, while they kissed.

She was surprised when he ended the kiss abruptly and whispered something. "Where do you think we are going, Blair? Got any ideas?"

She put a hand on his chest and shifted her attention there when she answered him. "As long as we are together... I really don't care" she panted before kissing him again.

They kept grasping for air while kissing each other for quite a while. She noticed his intentions, and felt as if he was either reading her mind or he was just good at comforting her the right way.

She thought he felt how turned off from sex she would be that night. After the news she had told him before leaving, she thought he wouldn't try to force her to have any type of intercourse she wouldn't feel like doing. He could understand her moods well. He knew that she was scared.

Her baby didn't use to drink her milk like before and it was inevitable that her guard could go down. It was human after all. It didn't work all the times and she was sure in the future it wouldn't work at all, at this rate.

After a long, breathless kiss, she fell on his chest. He fixed the covers of the bed on both and yawned.

"What time is it?" she wondered.

He lazily looked on the nightstand. "Almost 2. I guess we need to sleep, tomorrow is going to be a long day."

She tilted her head to look at him. "Tell me one thing, Chuck" she murmured "Are we going on the West or on the East?"

"If by West and East you mean the coast, then I should say West."

"Los Angeles?" she tried to sort the destination out.

He giggled and shrugged. "Would I ever take you to an usual location like that? You underestimate me."

"Once we went there! Or you forgot about the hot encounter we had on the beach one night?"

"I never forget things I do with you" he said. "And I hope you won't forget this place you're going to visit with me either."

She was interested and curious. "Have I ever been there?"

He shrugged. "Enough with the hints, love. You'll find out in a few hours" he winked at her as she made a disappointed face.

She gave one quick kiss on the lips before trying to sleep.

….

Blair woke up several hours later. She didn't find Chuck, but she surprisingly found a food trolley. On it, several things were waiting for her to be eaten up. Croissants, fruit, and other few dishes and bottles of orange juice, tea and such.

She was happy to see all of that stuff. She felt she was incredibly hungry because she didn't eat anything the evening before.

She moved in bed so that she could reach the trolley. Her eyes glanced at the nightstand when the clock ticked half past four. She snorted because she was annoyed she had overslept again. She hated when she was too tired and woke up late.

She thought more than a breakfast, she needed lunch. But she didn't mind any of the sweetness on the trolley that she didn't care it was that late. She also decided to check her phone while she was there. She wanted to check on Lexie and see if things were going alright at their penthouse.

She dialed her mother-in-law's number and waited for her to answer.

"Hi, Blair! I know you would call in the morning. Have you landed yet?"

"Thanks for picking up, Lily. I hope Alexandra wasn't sleeping... we're still on the jet."

The woman laughed from the other end, she could actually hear Lexie's voice too. "I'm sorry, I didn't hear you. What did you ask about Lexie?"

"Is she awake?" she asked with worry in her voice.

Lily giggled again "she's more than awake, she's in full force today. I bet you can hear them on the phone, do you want to talk with mommy, Lexie? Say hello to mommy" she said, and weird mumbles starting on the other end. "Guuuuu maaaaaa" the voice said. "Gu gu gu."

Blair smiled instinctively. "Lexie, can you recognize mommy's voice? Can you? Mommy is missing you already."

"I bet she misses you too, honey, she's doing pretty fine so far. She woke up once during the night but fell asleep when I gave her bib. She just ate breakfast, that is why she's so lively."

She looked confused. "Breakfast? Isn't 4pm?"

"Here in New York it's 10pm. Maybe you already are where you should be and you don't know it yet?" she explained.

"I'll see. Alright, I need to hang up. I'll call you later. Kiss Lexie for me."

As long as she hung up and put the phone back on the nightstand, Chuck entered the door. He was carrying the jacket of his suit in his hands. He put it on the armchair of the room not to crumple it, and stole a piece of croissant from the trolley and started eating under her eyes.

She looked for answers. "Where are we, Chuck?"

He smirked and sat down next to her, still chewing on his croissant. "You're going to find out very soon. Fast than you expect. Just not now."

"At least can you tell me if we landed already?"

He nodded. "We did. We're now at the airport and a limo is going to pick us soon to take us somewhere... special. We can remain here for a few hours. I suggest you to get ready and wear something for the evening, because you will want to shine. Not that you need to."

She looked away, embarrassed. "Are we going to dine somewhere?"

"Probably" he shrugged, and bit his croissant. "These croissants are really yummy. You should eat some to fill your stomach because it's going to be long before dinner."

Blair smiled and looked down at her crossed legs. She took few grapes on the trolley and started to eat. Her thoughts got the best of her and she suddenly found herself thinking about her problems again. She wasn't sure that had been Chuck's stomach comment that made her think about that again, but maybe.

She wondered if her doctor could reach her wherever she was. If she would be able to tell her the results of the test via phone, so that her anxiety would be eased a bit.

He got terribly close when she woke up from her concerns, that she jolted with surprise when she noticed his face almost facing hers. He had put his weight on his right elbow and the way he looked at her was deeply worried. She hated when she got lost in her thoughts.

He held her gaze long but she gave him no answer. His left hand, free of food, caressed her cheek gently. "I'm here with you" he said with a thin voice. "It's going to be okay."

She tried to smile for him, but a weak sigh came out. "Thank you" she murmured.

Chuck righted his body on the mattress and got even closer to pull her in a hug. She had to put the bowl with grapes on the bed to circle her arms around him. She loved when he made her feel protected and loved like that. She loved him so much.

…

"I'm sorry to do this, but... I can't risk you understanding where are we before we get to the place I'm taking you" he said and put a velvet scarf to blindfold her. "And I'm sorry I'll have to shut your ears too. I charged the ipod with really good music I'm sure you'll like."

"Even my ears should be shut? I really wish I knew where are we already" she complained and laughed when he put her earphones in her ears.

"I'm going to guide you" he whispered before he took the ipod in his hands and secured it in his pocket. "I hope you'll like the first song on the playlist."

Blair sighed before he helped her out of the jet. He tried to let her out gently and guided her feet when the platform left them on the ground. He had recommended her to wear a wool coat since the temperature outside may have been cold. She had decided to wear one that was really long. He could only figure out the ending of her dress, she had decided to choose it in secret and had thought of putting her long coat over it before he could see it.

He helped her in the limo too. Blair felt comfortable in that car, she could smell a nice flavor she knew but couldn't recognize at the moment.

The ride to the place he was taking her took really long. She had the chance to listen to various tracks he had selected, and it cheered her that he had put some of the songs she loved the most, including new songs she was obsessed with. She couldn't help but singing one of them while they were in the car, making him smile with contentment.

Once the car stopped, he pressed pause on the ipod for a few seconds, making Blair protest.

"I was listening to that song, actually!"

He rolled his eyes "We're here. I'm going to stop the ipod once we get inside."

Blair didn't answer but she smiled and that was an answer for him. He pressed play again and helped his wife out of the limousine to guide her in the building they had just arrived to.

She could feel they entered the elevator at some point. The place was hot and she hoped he could remove the scarf from her eyes soon because she was getting anxious of finding out where were they.

Finally, the doors of the elevator opened and he took her hand, stopped the ipod, and freed her from the scarf on her eyes. She found him smiling in front of her and saw the elevator they had just got out, behind him. The room was small and intimate, and looked like a suite. It reminded her of the one he booked one year before at Plaza.

She smiled, excited as well. She turned on her heels and her lip feel open when she realized where he had taken her. "I can't believe my eyes" she gushed. "It's wonderful" she was in awe.

"I thought that, of every place on Earth, you would love to be here" he explained. "Besides New York, of course."

"Yeah" she said, still incredulous. "I've missed this place. I've really missed it" she turned, a smile still graced her features. She reached him and gave him an even lighter smile. "Thank you for taking me here, Chuck."

"I just wanted you to be happy."

"You made me really happy already" she said, looking around her and distracting herself with her coat. "Even if we should have a sad answer in the future... you've made me happy" she said again. She couldn't contain her joy.

He smiled and took her coat off and fixed it on the hat stand, then did the same with his. He could finally appreciate Blair's dress. She had turned towards the balcony to see the Tour Eiffel better. Half of her back was exposed and left so little to imagination. Her dress was red and a sparkly, it was surely new because he couldn't remember it.

He walked to Blair and kissed her neck from behind. She had the goosebumps instantly, and closed her eyes to appreciate the moment more. It felt so good to be in his arms and feel his heat. He put his hands on her stomach when she fixated to look at the landscape in front of them. She put one of her hands on his and sighed.

Whatever answer they would get during those hours, she would still have his support and her baby's support back home. Nothing would be lost and wasted.

They sat down at the table next to the balcony, and he called the waiter that he had paid to serve them. She was amused when she heard him speak French, they had been in Paris before but he had barely talked with people.

"You know you are even sexier when you speak French" she said.

He smirked, content. "Not as sexy as when _you_ speak French in my ear."

They both laughed and kept eating until they ate everything but the dessert. Blair didn't seem to want it for the moment, so Chuck decided to send the waiter away and said that he will serve them if Blair changed her mind. He had done it so that they would remain alone.

The lights were soft in the room. He had lightened two candles on their table and turned off every other light source. He wanted to create the atmosphere for the next moment.

He took a remote control from a table nearby and a soft, background music started.

Blair knew he was going to take her hand and beg her to dance with him. She didn't hesitate to stand up and move to the slow rhythm with him. She put her head on his shoulder and her hands on his back, and they started moving around the room.

She didn't motion a word and decided to be carried by the music. She did want to say something, but she couldn't find the words... she was speechless. She had expected him to take her somewhere she would love, but not actually Paris. Paris on Valentine's Day.

She decided to tease him next, when she finally decided what to say. "Whether I would find it predictable that you would have taken me here for lover's day, I decided not to complain about it and just enjoy the day."

Chuck seemed to stop for a second and looked down at her. She raised her head to see his reaction, even if she expected one of his nonchalant answers. He rarely failed to show his true emotions, on certain occasions. "It makes me smile that you, of all people, are kinda disappointed that I chose Paris. I am offended, Blair" he smirked and looked away.

She knew that he wasn't saying it for real. "I'm sorry, Chuck. But year after year I see you are truly becoming very poor of ideas, that is" she shrugged while they kept moving to the sound of the music. "And here I thought you wouldn't get so mellow... maybe I was wrong."

He started moving even more slow. "Mellow? That is more of a compliment rather than an offense, Blair. I like being soften... the same way you love playing with my feelings."

She raised an eyebrow and stopped dancing. "I was just being hon-" she started to say, but he cut her off with a deep kiss.

He put his hands on her bare back and she answered his kiss eagerly. He really loved trailing her off sometimes.

He pulled back unexpectedly few seconds later. She was out of breath, completely unable to regain the air he had sucked from her with that kiss. He was unable to breathe as well.

"Honest, you meant?" he asked quickly and exhaled really harshly.

Blair rolled her eyes and put her hands off him to turn back to the balcony. It was nice night, not too much cold but neither humid. Thankfully, it wasn't raining either.

She touched the window with her warm hands and sighed.

"This city is beautiful. Sometimes I wished I lived here" she murmured almost inaudibly.

He walked to her and stopped few paces behind her body. "It's not impossible if you want to."

She sighed again. "But there is too much in New York I can't leave" she answered with sadness. "My house, my job... my best friends" she whispered.

"But your family is here." He knew how much she cared for her other family, her parents. One month before, she was desperate because Eleanor and Harold were about to leave that he decided he would do anything to make her happy. Maybe he had found the solution, but now it looked as if she wasn't interested.

She turned and grinned. She seemed sincere. "I don't want to move to Paris" she declared. "Even if my mother and father are here, it doesn't mean I have to be here too. I love Paris. I really do. But I wouldn't be able to substitute it with New York. My life is there, and yours too."

"I wouldn't be opposed to it if you want to."

She smiled even more widely. She loved this city. She liked France. But her life was in another country, in another continent. "I'm fine. I know that I've told you I wanted my parents closer, but truth is, I don't need them literally close. I've got you, and the baby. I've got Serena and sometimes I have Nate. I am a mother now. I would be happy to have my mother living down the street, but is not essential."

He smiled as well and looked content. "Speaking of parents, what do you say we check on Alexandra? It should be afternoon in New York."

"Good idea" she said as she walked to the table to take her phone. "I've got a text" she noticed. "_The baby ate everything and played with Rufus. You should have seen her! Greetings from New York xoxo_" she read. "Look, she also posted a picture on her twitter!"

He looked quite surprised "Does Lily have a twitter? This sounds really new to me" he went to check the picture on Blair's phone.

She shrugged "Maybe it's just her last hobby, I really have no idea. She takes good pics, though. Don't you think? I already miss my baby" she mumbled with a tone of melancholy.

"That's true, or maybe our baby is just so beautiful that she can't get out flawed in any pic."

"I wonder if she's missing us too" she wondered with a louder voice.

He nodded and put a hand on her hips. "We can get back home later, if you want. I can give a call to the pilot driver-"

She stopped him. "Chuck, you are being so comprehensive and lovely. But I'm really feeling better here. I'm getting distracted. I'm in Paris. And I'm loving what you have been doing for me. I wouldn't ask for nicer things. You have surprised me greatly."

He wasn't sure whether or not she was being honest. He cared for her and wanted her to be at ease and focus on something else other than her worries. She needed rest, she needed to get her mind off things, however they would turn out.

"I would do anything for you" he caressed her cheek. "I love you."

Blair leaned closer to him and gave him a quick peck on the lips. "Love you too" she exchanged sweetly.

….

Few hours later, they ended up on the bed.

Blair felt really reassured for the trip to Paris that instinctively dragged Chuck to the bedroom so that they could have sexy times. She thought about that for long throughout the day, and she had come up with the decision of not having any sort of intercourse with him. Still, she changed her mind when she felt the atmosphere calming her off.

She wasn't sure if it was Paris or the luxurious room they were at that made her change mind, but she did. She felt as if she needed it to relax this time, to cool off her mind more. The flight and the dinner had helped a lot, she thought that may be of help too and it did.

She was still waiting for an answer, though. That was her priority for the day and she felt as if she wouldn't be able to feel okay, before she would know the results.

Around four in the morning, she put her head back on the pillow and crossed her arms on her chest, trying to think about things. Chuck was in the bathroom doing his needs and she was unable to fall asleep.

She thought about her day. It really couldn't go better. He had taken her from the cold New York to the cold Paris. They had the same weather except that Paris seemed to be warmer.

Maybe it was her heart being lighter, she wasn't sure. But the city gave her a familiar sensation that she couldn't miss. After all, it wouldn't be wrong to spend few months in here, would it? But she had many things back home anyway. She wasn't prone to change city just for a few weeks, even if that meant getting her mother's help with the baby.

She decided that she would visit her parents before leaving. They didn't know she was there with Chuck, she could do them a surprise. She smiled at the thought.

"You are happy, I see" he said when he got back from the bathroom. "It makes me happy."

She giggled "And you are still naked, I see" she spat back as she tried to focus on his face instead of somewhere else.

He rolled his eyes with amusement and jumped on the bed. He then adjusted his legs under the covers and cuddled next to her. "I thought it made you happy."

She bit her lip and looked away. "You have no idea" she laughed.

"Why were you happy? Did Lily call again and sent you new pictures of Lexie?"

She shook her head. "Sadly, nope. I was thinking about visiting mom and dad. Since we are here... it wouldn't be hard, don't you think? I could surprise them."

"Very true, we could go to their house all of a sudden and say _surprise!_ They would be astonished. I like it. We can go tomorrow after we take a little walk."

"Take a walk that is. I want to go to Laduree first. And maybe Chanel. It's been a while I haven't visited here..." she said all dreamy and hungry.

He smiled and then nodded. He removed the covers from his legs soon and went out of the bed to go in the other room. "I knew the first thing you've wanted from Paris were macaroons" his voice echoed from the corridor and then he shut up until she felt his feet near to the bedroom again "so I well thought of fixing that already."

Blair saw the box in his hands and couldn't contain her excitement. "How do you know?"

"Did you forget that I have mind powers, huh?" he giggled and handed her the box of macaroons. "You underestimate my devotion, Blair."

She took the box from him and opened soon. It was the luxury one and had twelve macaroons in it. "You know that these won't suffice until tomorrow, right?"

He shrugged, all diverted. Blair let him eat even one of those sweets.

After three or four macaroons, he fell asleep. She thought he had the right timing for that. She wanted to do something before the sun would rise and she wanted to do it now. She got a hang of her cellphone and headed to the bathroom in the silk robe Chuck had thought well of taking in a small bag with some changes for both.

She knew she just wanted to do one thing. She just needed to call someone.

She dialed the number fast and closed the door behind her hoping that Chuck wouldn't wake up and look for her. After a couple of rings, someone answered on the other end. "Mrs... Bass? It's weird to hear from you at this hour, are you all right?"

She sighed "I'm really sorry I called now, but I am in Paris and I wasn't able to call earlier."

"I guess I know why you called. I would call you tomorrow morning to let you know the results... is that why you've called me?"

"Y-yes" her voice trembled when she answered.

The doctor cleared her voice and said she was looking for them. It looked like centuries for Blair. She had thought her anxiety had diminished, but maybe it was only disguised. She almost chocked with her own breath when she woman gave her the results. Reluctantly, she thanked and listened to her explanations and then hung up.

She sat down next to the bathtub and put her phone on the floor. She didn't know if she was happy of what her doctor just said.

She felt so puzzled that she lost heart and fell asleep right there.

….

Comments are loved :3


	24. Myrtle

It was her phone vibrating that woke her up. She couldn't see what time was it, she just picked up very quickly without seeing who it was.

"Did I wake you?"

"Lily, is that you?" she said with a sleepy voice. "Isn't it late?"

"I'm sorry I've called you so early in the morning" she started to explain "but Alexandra wouldn't fall asleep so I thought you could help me."

She looked for a clock to check the time. "How come she doesn't fall asleep?"

"We've been trying for two hours to do it, but she wakes up after few minutes. I don't mind that is past midnight, I want the baby to sleep tight but I couldn't do it and neither Rufus succeeded. I'm sorry to disturb you for this."

"You're not disturbing me at all. I was awake" she lied. Did Lily say it was past midnight? Then it must be six in the morning or something in Paris. Good she had only slept for two hours and Chuck still hadn't noticed her absence.

Lily sighed on the other end. "Alright. I will pass you Alexandra right away. Hold on" she said and Blair could hear noises.

"Lexie, are you there? It's mommy! Do you recognize mommy?"

The baby mumbled. "Mo mo! Gu gu!"

Blair smiled. "Yes, mommy! Do you want to be a good girl and fall asleep for mommy? Your grandma Lily has to sleep too."

"Gu gu gu!" Lexie said.

They spent few minutes chatting until Lily informed Blair that the baby seemed to have calmed down a bit. Blair decided then to hung up, she couldn't talk too much on the phone because it was an international call.

The real reason was that she didn't want to be heard from the other room. Not that she would mind him hearing her, but he would suspect why the hell she was in the bathroom with her phone, at 6am. She could have pretended to call his mother and have Lily cover for her because she did call for real. But she decided to quit thinking about excuses for the moment, and act. She needed to get back to bed despite she was suffering of jet lag.

Chuck was still peacefully asleep.

His mouth was open and he was on his side, his arm extended and maybe looking for her. She sighed and hurried herself to change in her slip and fixed under the covers before he would wake up and ask questions.

He wasn't the intrusive type, but he would be wondering why she had that face all of a sudden.

After what she heard on the phone, her expression had changed and she hadn't been able to put her smile back on. She didn't want to hide him the truth, but she needed time to realize it.

She wanted to pretend things were okay and move on until she would be ready to confess the truth to him. She wondered if he would be okay with it or not.

She spent the following hours trying to sleep but she only sighed and moved under the sheets for the whole time until he woke up not too late.

Chuck was jet lagged as well. He hadn't been able to sleep soon after their sexy times, he had told her he still felt he was in New York time. Yet, he had suddenly closed his eyes after eating one macaroon. Men sounded very weird to Blair.

He had the room service bring a trolley with food, but she didn't eat much of it. He wanted to have breakfast with her but she lost the time talking about random things she wanted to do during the day instead of focusing on what really mattered.

To him, she looked quite comfortable. He was in the dark about her early morning call, nor he suspected it. He thought the doctor still hadn't called his wife, maybe the results were delayed.

He didn't ask anything about it because he didn't want to pressure her. He knew she was having a rough time waiting for the answer and talking more about it every few hours, didn't look promising.

He feared that phone call.

For some reason, he thought she wouldn't be satisfied whether the result was positive or negative.

He didn't know why, but he felt that Blair wasn't ready for another baby this soon. He wasn't sure she wanted to do the same things all over again. She had just gone out of a bad period after Lexie was born, she may risk to get really depressed to struggle with this so soon.

He thought she just wanted to do things step by step, day by day. She didn't want to rush Alexandra's growth in any way or abandon her to do trips to other countries. He now realized why she didn't seem to be happy about his holiday either. In any case, he would try to help her for what was better. He wanted her to be happy.

She asked him to take her out that morning. They went to Ladurée and then had something to drink at some elegant café.

"Do you want to go today?" he asked her. She seemed lost in her thoughts.

She looked up and frowned. "Today?"

"To your mother and father. Do you want us to call the limo so we can go today?"

She shrugged "Yes, why not. But I want to call them first so we are sure they are not out."

He nodded and gave her a big smile. He wasn't sure but she was still worried about things. She looked deep in thought and absent.

….

Eleanor and Cyrus' house was in a nice neighborhood. They had been there already in the past years, but they were missing from Paris for over a year. Looking around, living there would not be that bad. The place seemed quiet and the gardens had beautiful flowers.

Chuck helped Blair getting out of the car and they walked towards the entrance of the residence.

Eleanor's maid opened the door soon and the couple was greeted inside few minutes later. The trio sat down on the large couch of the big house and they were served drinks. Blair's mother had informed them Cyrus was out for work and it was just her at home for the moment.

"Blair, honey. I'm really surprised to see you here" Eleanor said as she hugged her daughter. "Did something happen? I should be worried?"

Blair could not smile. "We've got here yesterday. Chuck took me to Paris for Valentine's Day."

Her mother looked amused and raised her eyebrows. "Really? That's so romantic. I wish Cyrus would do the same for me" she shrugged. "How is it all going? You haven't brought your little one? I wanted to see her."

She shook her head. "Lexie is staying with Lily and Rufus. We didn't think she should had come given the circumstances... and it was too early for her to fly so young."

"That is true. But next time you need to bring her! I think she'll have fun in the garden once she'll be able to walk. Has she started yet?"

"We really haven't tried yet" she looked down and sighed. "She still crawls. She's too young, mom. She still hasn't said her first words."

Eleanor leaned forward. "That's not a real problem, my dear. You said mama when you were ten months old and called your father when you were eight months. Alexandra's moment it's going to come too, you just need to wait."

She nodded. "Yeah."

"You look really good by the way. You seem refreshed."

Blair crinkled her eyes and he frowned. "Refreshed? Thanks mother. So do you."

He looked closely at her when she smiled widely. She didn't seem happy at all, she more seemed bothered by something. He knew that worry couldn't pass that fast. He hoped Eleanor could at least help her daughter with that, he knew Blair may confide with her.

Blair's mother insisted that they ate lunch at her house. Cyrus was back too and he tried to bond with Chuck most of the time while the women went to the first floor. She was amused that they still had her room, in the case she wanted to remain there. They had build that room just for her small trips to the city, few years before.

"Do you still have my room?"

"Why would we change this room? This was created just for you, whenever you wanted to stay here with us."

She grinned and turned to see some pictures she had put on the wall the last time she had been there. It was two years before. She couldn't make it for Christmas so she came earlier to stay few days with her family. Chuck hadn't come with her and she had decided to put pictures of them together on the wall so that she wouldn't miss him too much.

"Mom, can I ask you something?"

Her mother's face grew vague. "Of course, my dear. Go ahead."

She sighed heavily and fought to find the right words to say. "Have you ever lost a baby?" Blair's eyes pleaded for an answer.

"I never... it never happened. Well, not really. Before I got married with your father... there was this nice guy in my high school, his name was Alfred. He didn't hide his interest for me so after a while I gave up and we started dating." She shrugged and smiled at the memories. "He was the one, huh. When I was seventeen. And he wasn't wiser as I thought he would be."

"He got you pregnant?" she asked with curiosity.

She nodded. "I wasn't really pregnant. I was just a week late but it feared me. You may not remember your grandmother, but she was very strict. She used to control my 'dates' on the calendar because she had to have everything in control" she rolled her eyes. "But I was lucky that it was just a false alarm with that Alfred. He wasn't a smart guy."

"Yeah. And if you and this man would have had a baby, I wouldn't be the first-born." She giggled. "What did you tell him?"

She gave her a short side-glance. "I didn't tell him anything. And when he found out, we broke up" she shrugged. "He was a coward even if there wasn't a baby to start with. But thankfully to him, I met your father. He was one of his best friends."

Blair gave her a surprised smile. "Maybe it was destined to go this way" she said, thinking about her own story all of a sudden. It had happened with Chuck too. In the past she was with Nate and then she fell in love with Chuck. She also had a pregnancy scare after she slept with both and at the current day she was not aware of who could it have been the father.

Her mother sighed and sat down on the bed, while Blair looked outside the window. She wanted to tell her something, but she wasn't sure she could give her an answer that would help. Maybe she should just pretend she didn't know the results yet...

"You seem weird" Eleanor noticed. "Are you okay? I've got this feeling when I first saw you earlier but I didn't want to touch on a sore point. You know you can talk to me."

She sighed. "Must be the jet lag is my problem. I've barely slept last night."

"Possibly. You should take a nap. If you want, you can use this room. You'll feel better."

"I don't want to sleep. Can I have some more of that cake, please?" she asked.

….

When they got back to the hotel, he could sense something was wrong. Blair seemed calm at her parents' house but he could see that her thoughts hadn't stop from flowing.

He knew she was still thinking about that blood test. That worry was accompanying them through their holiday and he wasn't sure it would leave them soon. He was unsure if he should ask her about it or not. No one had called yet.

She held his hand when they went up in the elevator and then got inside the luxurious room. She left him in the bedroom getting out of his grey suit, while she decided to take a bath.

The fact that she had gone alone bothered him. Not that he needed to take a bath with her, but he thought that she would at least ask him. They were in Paris and one of the reasons they had gone there was to spend a nice time with each other. Not having sex, of course. That would happen naturally. But do things together, relax together.

He really wanted her to feel better and distract and if she was building a wall in front of her to hide herself and burden alone, it would hurt him.

He remained in his pajama pants and the white shirt he had under the suit. He put his hands behind his head and drew in a long breath and let it hiss out slowly. He needed to find a solution to this.

What would help Blair?

He had tried to take her where he knew she had always felt comfortable, and it didn't quite work. He tried to let her have the best food around. But it was the same. He tried to organize a meeting with her mother, but it didn't seem to soothe her. He felt lost.

He checked his phone because he wanted to see if someone had texted or called, and wanted to try another card to make Blair happy. He had got one text, and it was from Lily. _Routine update: Alexandra has ate most of her lunch today. She keeps mumbling things and she's happy. I'll send in a pic! Lily_

Chuck smiled at the attachment. It was a picture of Lexie eating puree and having her hands all dirty with it. She missed her. He was sure Blair was missing her too. When she got back from the bathroom fully dressed in her silk pajama, he proposed her something.

"What do you say we video call Lily?"

She tilted her head on the side with a weary expression. "Isn't it late? Lexie should be napping by now."

"We can try. We don't know. Come on." He insisted.

"Why not tomorrow? I've already called Lily anyway. I don't want to disturb her again for what she's doing for us right now. I'm dead tired."

He frowned. "I thought you wanted to see her" he said with clear worry in his voice. It sounded weird to him that a possessive mother like Blair wouldn't want to check on her daughter. "Just five minutes?" he offered.

She yawned and helped herself under the covers. "I want to sleep, Chuck. It's late anyway."

"It's only 10pm, but whatever pleases you. I just wanted to help."

She turned her head to face him. "Help with what? I'm lost."

He shook his head. "If you don't want to call Lily, it's fine. We'll do it tomorrow. I just wanted... I wanted you to smile today. At least once."

She arched an eyebrow. "Smile? I've been smiling the whole day!"

"You haven't. You can pretend all that you want, but I know that you are worried because of that call. If you only tried to help yourself too, I guess you'll be able to feel more relaxed in the waiting. The key is keeping you busy with what makes you smile."

"The 'key'? Chuck, look. I know that you care about my happiness but I am calm today. I have never been more calm. My smiles are genuine."

He didn't seem to agree. "Don't deceive yourself. I'm waiting for that answer as well, but I tried to enjoy these days here. I tried to prepare these days for you, but you seem as if you don't want to try to distract from anything. Why are you being so masochistic?"

She put both hands on her face. She was exhausted. "I want to sleep. Can you let me?"

He shrugged and sighed. He knew that she probably was just avoiding the topic. He had been stupid to bring it up all of a sudden just because she wasn't in the mood of talking with their daughter via laptop.

Blair turned on the side opposite to him. He knew that she didn't want to see him. He would try to help her in the morning. He just got closer to her without touching her arm, and whispered something in the hope that she hadn't fallen asleep yet.

"I'm sorry. I just wanted to make you feel better."

She didn't answer nor moved at all, so he decided to turn on his side and sleep as well.

Tomorrow would be a better day. Or so he hoped.

…

Blair was gone the following morning. He wasn't surprised that she wasn't in bed, it hadn't been the first time she left him before he could wake up. She had had this way of letting him know she wanted to be alone or that she needed to go somewhere without him. After all, even if they were married, she was free to do whatever she wanted. Sometimes he just wished she would tell him she was going out, he would feel more calm.

Chuck got ready and acknowledging that Blair wasn't in the suite and he was just being paranoid that she had gone out, he decided to do something to keep himself busy.

If she had been there, they would go visiting some place or eat to a restaurant. But he had to settle for a lonely couple of hours taking a walk or eating or going shopping without her.

It annoyed him because he had been planning this week for long and he had hoped she would enjoy herself. He realized that she needed time for herself, but he knew she also needed moral support. The answer they were waiting for would be changing their lives once again.

She couldn't burden everything alone.

He left her a note on the table in front of the elevator of the suite and then he went out.

He wandered around the city for a while, buying random things for himself and for her. He didn't know why he bought something for her, he knew that gifts could ease the pain but he didn't have to base everything on those. He also bought something for Alexandra and Lily, to show her gratitude and thank her for taking care of his daughter while they were away.

He really hoped Blair would be waiting for him when he would get back to the hotel.

He exited the elevator once in the room and started calling her name, then he freed his hands of all the bags he had with him and looked for her in all the rooms.

_She's not back yet_, he thought. He looked at his wristwatch and it wasn't that late. She could be still somewhere buying things. He decided he would not look for her yet, it wasn't late night and he could trust that she would be back soon.

He got rid of his coat and tried to relax with the TV. He found something in English to watch, even if he didn't really want to see anything.

His mind was out, wandering. He was too distracted to think about the movie he had found. It made him worried not to know where she was in that moment, why she wasn't coming back nor had got back for lunch time. It was almost dinner time and he hoped she would at least have that with him. But she didn't. Other few hours passed, and she wasn't back yet.

It was now late, the clock had just ticked 10pm. He sighed and told himself not to act as an old man who was waiting his daughter to get back home from a date with a guy, but he was seriously concerned.

She hadn't texted, she hadn't called. She hadn't left a note.

He didn't know where she could be, or with who. He didn't think Blair could wander around Paris for over eight hours. She would get tired. Even if she wanted to be alone, she would try to go somewhere safe... she wouldn't be walking alone and at this hour of the night.

His phone beeped and he thought it would be her. "Hello?"

A sigh on the other end. "Charles."

"Mrs Waldorf? Is everything okay?"

"I know I promised I wouldn't call you, but you need to come here to my house."

"Is Blair there?" he asked with a rushed voice.

"Yeah. And I don't know what she has but I'm convinced something happened." She said with concern. "I know that I shouldn't put a finger between you two, if we were in New York and my daughter would still be nubile, I wouldn't mind. But since she's married and you are by far the only person who could know what she has, I couldn't not call you."

"I'm coming."

Chuck hung up and he called the car in his way to the ground floor. It was soon taken out of the garage of the hotel and the driver was good taking him there in a short amount of time. He asked him to wait him there once they arrived, and he soon got in the Waldorf-Roses property.

Eleanor seemed quite worried when he met her. He frowned when he saw her and he could feel something was off. "She's in her room. I hope you can find out what she has. She wouldn't say a word to me" Eleanor informed him with sadness in her voice.

He nodded and didn't add a word. He soon went upstairs and reached Blair's Parisian room.

He had been there only once. He remembered how that room was warm and how her parents had wanted to make it comfortable so that every time Blair would go there, she would feel as if she was in New York.

The door was surprisingly half open, and he didn't have to make a lot of noise to open it widely. Blair was sitting on the bed, her face towards the window. She seemed lost in her thoughts, but he knew she had acknowledged his presence.

Chuck closed the door behind him and got closer. "I've missed you today" he said with a sweet voice. He didn't want to use other words to let her know he was worried.

She pursed her lips and shrugged. "I needed to be alone."

"I figured. And I told you I'm sorry I intruded in your private time yesterday night. I just wanted to know you were okay."

"I know. And I am thankful for that. But I had to run away... I had to come here to reason."

He walked closer to her so that he could face her. "You got the call" he imagined. She lowered her head and nodded. A sigh escaped her mouth.

"You know, when I heard the results I was confused. I didn't know if I should had danceed or be sad about it. I think I have been deluding myself all along. I thought I would be able to take this result however it would turn out to be... I was wrong."

He listened carefully. "You are not alone. Never forget that."

She laughed bitterly. "I've deceived you, Chuck. And I've deceived myself. How can I possibly show you my face now? I gave you false hopes" she complained.

He sighed and sat down next to her. He didn't know why she was blaming herself for something she didn't do. He accompanied her body towards him and he hugged her. She started crying silently soon after that.

"You didn't do such thing. Believe me that everything you have done to me was nothing but deceive me." He answered calmly. "You haven't done anything wrong. Anything. I think that we were bound to expect things would turn out any or other the way. You don't need to blame yourself for that. I don't blame you for that at all."

"I'm sorry I gave you false hopes that you were going to be a father again" she repeated.

He hugged her tightly. "Shush. It's okay. We have time for that. We have time to become parents again" he tried to reassure her.

"I'm sorry" she said again with a broken voice. "I should have told you before."

He nodded and kept holding her until she stopped crying. He had considered the whole situation the wrong way. He didn't think she would actually blame herself for not being pregnant as she thought she was, she had no blame at all.

She had just thought she was in such state and could possibly have another baby. He decided that she may had really got into the idea of becoming a parent again, that she put too much effort into thinking it was actually true when there wasn't proof that it was.

She may had been thinking about that for over a month. She had been both hoping and discouraging the possibility.

He realized she had been carrying a tough burden all along and he only found out about it few days before. He wished she had told him earlier. He would have tried to help her before she would feel this way. He hoped she would try to be more open about her feelings.

"There is nothing that can change what I feel for you" he said all of a sudden. "Even if you told me about this after a while. I really wish you would let me in."

She froze into his arms and heard him talk.

"I care too much about your happiness that it hurts me when you are not feeling well... it counts a lot to me that you are happy. When I swore I would be with you in sickness and health, I meant it. I would do anything for you. To see you smile. But you need to allow me... you need to trust me."

She smiled on his chest then she wiped under her eyes with her finger and raised her head to look him in the eyes. She smiled warmly at him. He could feel that she was really trying to feel strengthened by his words.

"I trust you, Chuck" she whispered slowly. "Although it may seem I don't sometimes. I am... I am having a hard time with this. I thought it would be easy talking about it with you, but it wasn't. I felt like my whole world could fall upon me and I didn't know how to save myself."

"I could have saved you" he grinned and caressed her cheek.

She nodded sheepishly. "I know. That's why I love you."

….

A while later, they went to the ground floor. Blair's mother was surprised to see her daughter calmed down and joyous.

"Is everything okay?"

Blair smiled. "Yes" she said with conviction before Chuck excused himself he had to say something to Cyrus in the other room. She knew he went away just so she and Eleanor could talk alone. "I feel better after I found out the answer to my test."

Eleanor looked confused. "Which test? Are you...?" She supposed.

She shook her head. "I thought I was but the test was negative... my period isn't back yet. But I suspected I could have got pregnant for the second time" she looked away to avoid eye contact. Those things looked private to say out loud even to your own mother.

"I see. It's normal to be afraid. Not that you can't take care of another little one right now, but it would be rushed if it was the case. Two pregnancies one after another can wear your brain out. It's so much to carry" she laughed. "That is the reason why I stopped after you."

"You didn't want any more kids, mom?"

"I couldn't take care of many people. You were alone and I couldn't handle you because of my job, think if I had other two or three like you. I had to stop working" she explained. "But like I said, I don't think this would be your case. I can see you and Charles filling the house with little feet running in the living room in the future."

Blair smiled again. She could imagine that well. When she got married with Chuck already pregnant with their first daughter, she knew that they wouldn't stop there.

Chuck had never had a true family, and neither had she. Of course she had had her lovely father Harold and her mother had tried to be close to her, but Chuck never had anyone but Lily as a family figure in his life. And his desire to create a family of his own had been so strong... he kind of wanted to make up for all the years he had felt lonely because his father never truly took care of him as a real and good father would do.

That was probably the reason why he had desperately tried to be a good father for Alexandra.

She could think of a future with little babies playing on the floor with them. Another cute little girl with curls and a little boy with hazel eyes and his father's stare.

"I think he wants to have at least three or four kids" she said.

"Well when the right moment comes, I'm sure it won't be a fluke again. Next time it will go right and you won't feel as if you had a chance and you lost it."

….

They greeted Eleanor and Cyrus again before they left the residence and got back to the hotel.

Chuck could see her relieved and relaxed. He wasn't sure if it was because of him, but his wife now had a reassured aura around her and he knew that she had to just believe in herself and trust that he didn't mind what happened and he just wished he didn't carry it alone.

"I've realized something tonight" Blair started to say when they got back. "I need to get back to work very soon. I need to keep me occupied with something."

He seemed pleased by it. "That's a good thing. I think it will help you a lot. You need to distract and think about other stuff other than the baby."

She nodded. "Can we at least stay another day here? We can get back on Saturday."

"Of course. We can remain all the days you want. You only need to ask."

Chuck gave her a quick kiss and stopped there when he felt his phone vibrating in his pants. She looked vaguely at him and waited for him to pick up.

She noticed he didn't have a happy expression when he answered. He seemed quite astonished by what the person on the other end had just told him. He had the face of someone that couldn't believe his ears. When he hung up, Blair's questioning eyes asked for answers.

"It was Lily" he told her, his voice trembling.

"Is the baby okay?" she asked with an alarmed tone.

He nodded. "She said... Elizabeth just arrived at her place and she was looking for me."

"Elizabeth? The whore who pretended to be your mother?"

"_That_ Elizabeth. Lily is not sure of what she wants" he looked lost and deep in thoughts. "I need to send her away again. She can't stay. Not when our daughter is miles from us and unprotected. I don't trust that woman at all."

"Then let's go back to New York. We can come back here when we want with the jet."

"Are you really sure you want to end our trip?" he wondered.

She gave him a smile. "Chuck. You helped me, now I'm going to help you."

He exchanged the smile warmly. "I'll call the driver of the jet. We're leaving before dawn."

….

Hehe... did you expect the end? Are you pleased that Blair is not pregnant as she thought? I decided that it was too early for another baby. I don't want to rush things. What do you think Elizabeth is back for?

Comments are loved :)


	25. Pine

Hi guys, and sorry for the delay again but I have some real life problem that make my inspiration suck. Hehe. Hope you'll like this chapter!

….

The flight back to New York was turbulent.

Chuck hadn't been able to sleep right and had kept looking at his phone in the hopes of getting updates about the situation. He didn't know why it made him so anxious. He thought that he was okay with seeing that woman again, if she would ever show up.

In his heart, he knew that she may come back just as Jack did every once in a while. The difference was that he had clarified things with his uncle, while with this woman... he really wondered why did she come back for.

He passed the entire flight back to their hometown thinking about it.

Blair had tried to sleep, on the other hand. She had successfully drift off for a couple of hours. She was surprised and worried that he was still up and he had clearly his head somewhere else rather than there with her. She wished she knew what to say and how to help, but Elizabeth's reasons were unknown to her too and she couldn't even imagine the matter.

They arrived to their penthouse after a seven-hour flight. It was afternoon there. It really felt as if they had gone back in time.

The guys at their building brought their luggage upstairs while they met with Lily in the foyer. Chuck had asked his stepmother to bring their daughter there so that they could decide what to do later – if they wanted to do anything at all.

He was happy to see Lexie playing with her favorite toys on the floor when Blair beat him and called Alexandra's name before he could. The baby turned abruptly and she started screaming. She seemed happy they were back.

Blair knelt down uncaring she would damage her new shoes and stockings, and she hugged the baby. "I've missed you so much, honey. Did you miss mommy too? Give a kiss to mommy" she asked kindly and the baby seemed to do as she asked.

He smiled at them and then asked Lily what he needed to know. The two went in the kitchen and left Blair and Alexandra alone.

"She didn't say anything to me" she started to explain. "She just said that she would be in town for a few days until she could talk to you."

"I won't talk to her" he said firmly.

Lily smiled. "I understand. But you should give it a try. You can't know why -"

"She is _not_ my mother. She is not related to me _at all_. She said it herself. I won't meet with a woman who deceived me. I _don't_ want to see her."

"I know how are you feeling. That woman played you. But I think is not bad to give second chances. You might be surprised." She said as she gave him a pat on his shoulder and then left. "Let me know how it goes."

….

When he went back to the other room, he found it empty. Blair and Alexandra had gone upstairs and they were on their bed and playing when he got there. Blair startled when he entered the room.

"Did I scare you?"

"A bit" she admitted. "I think I was too distracted."

He sighed. "I'm sorry. I've had a bad day."

"Why don't you sleep? You could take a nap with us" she suggested with a smile.

"I don't think I can sleep, to be quite honest."

"Are you afraid she might come here when you're asleep?" she asked out of curiosity.

Chuck looked at her with confusion. "She _won't_ come here" he said with conviction. "I'll ask the doorman not to let anyone visit. We could spend the day just the three of us."

"It would be a good distraction, I like it" she smiled.

He smiled back at her, not fully convinced, and he hoped she didn't notice his false grin. He was thinking about something else and he couldn't help it.

"I wonder why that woman is back in New York" he said all of a sudden. He was getting out of his clothes to change into something to sleep. Blair sighed and kept listening to his words from their bed. "She told me she wasn't my mother and I accepted I had been fooled by one of my father's concubines. Why she wants to see me again? Why?"

He couldn't think of a reasonable possibility and he was right. Elizabeth had arrived briefly in his life, pretending she was his mother. All of that had happened over five years before and he had promised himself he would never believe he had other living parents. Jack was his last and only living uncle. His mother had died giving birth to him for that matter.

Would it be a question of money? Could she want to ask for one of Bart's properties just because she had slept with him some times in the past? Would she want to fool him again?

"You're over thinking. I don't think the matter is big. She isn't your mother after all, right? She can't get to you if you don't let her. But you should probably give her a chance to explain herself before jumping to conclusions" Blair gave her two cents.

He didn't seem to agree. "I can't let that woman fool me again. You know what they say, fool me twice shame on me. I can't let this person try to _play_ with _my_ family."

"If you don't put a stop to this, she will come looking for you again."

He shook his head "I'm not of the same advice. If I ignore her, she'll go away. After all, she's been living in Australia for all I know. And I know for experience is not nice to travel over twelve hours to come here. She let years and years pass before getting to me."

"People can be determinate if they want to see someone."

He glared at Blair without wanting to do it, but she didn't change her expression. "It has to be in two to let that happen. Unfortunately for her and luckily for me, I am determinate as well not to see her."

She sighed and turned at the baby. She didn't know if she should add more to what she told him. She knew he wouldn't change his mind anyway. Chuck had been hurt too much in the past, in that regards. He had believed his father had lied to him and hid that his mother hadn't died. His 'mother' had come but it turned out she was just playing a game for his uncle. She could understand well why he didn't want that person in his life anymore.

Even if she could possibly be related to him, how could she redeem herself with him?

She didn't know if she had to do something to help him find at least what did she want, or not. He could get really upset and things could turn out bad between them. But she felt she really had to do something... she had to find proofs and more informations about Elizabeth's return.

The three of them spent the rest of the day until dinner sleeping together.

Blair figured they needed two or three days to adjust to their normal, EST time schedule. It happened to them every time they went to Europe that the jet lag would make them sleep at the wrong hours.

She opened her eyes slowly to find the lights of the day now gone. She was relieved to see Chuck still there under the covers and fully asleep. She didn't think he would be able to fall asleep with all of his worries, and she was glad he had succeeded.

He looked particularly pleasant while sleeping. Without any concern. She thought he looked peaceful and hoped his mood would be cool when he would wake up.

Their baby was not asleep, on the other hand. She noticed Alexandra was turned towards her father but she was being silent for once. She looked over the baby's shoulder to see that she was actually gripping her hand around one of Chuck's long fingers. The sight of that made her melt. She could tell that their baby looked pretty attached to her father and that she probably felt he wasn't having a good time with his past and wanted him to feel her comfort.

She smiled happily. She wished her family would always be like that.

Chuck opened his eyes a few moments later and yawned.

"Hi" Blair said with softness.

"Hi" he echoed. "Have I slept for long?"

"Kind of. You've been away for a couple of hours" she said. "I'm glad you could sleep for a while. I hope it helped you."

He inhaled deeply. "I didn't dream anything but you two. It was the best dream I've ever had" he grinned for a brief moment. "I've never been better in my life. I'm serious."

"I'm glad you feel relaxed" she extended a hand to caress his cheek.

"I'm not relaxed yet, if I have to be fair."

She frowned, wondering if he would open up about something she didn't know of, which was really rare. She just wished he wouldn't close like he did few years before on the same occasion. He didn't let her in if not after weeks. It felt so sad for her not to be able to help.

He giggled. "I'm still jet lagged. I will try to sleep when it'll be time to do it. Now I'm hungry, aren't you too? We skipped lunch."

"I'll go tell the maid to prepare everything, then. Are you coming with me?"

He smiled and quickly dismissed. "I want to wash my face first. You go downstairs with Lexie. I'll come in a few minutes."

Blair nodded and took the baby from the center of the bed, then slowly got off it. She kept glancing at him until she was out of the room, but she could see nothing suspicions behind his expression. He had kept a calm face on that he wouldn't drop it so easily.

She was now worried for him. This wasn't like her possible pregnancy. She had believed she was expecting despite she still hadn't had her period. She realized now that she had worried for something she didn't have too worry too much, and he had worried with her too.

She knew Chuck just wanted her happiness, and she was happy now. She wasn't pregnant again, but she wasn't sad about it. It would happen again someday, she would really get to have another baby as beautiful as Alexandra and this time she would be confident about it. It wasn't just the best time now.

She also wanted his happiness now. After resolving her concern, she had to help him resolve his. What did Elizabeth want from him? He could just not let her go again. There must have been a reason why she had come back, and she thought he needed to know it.

….

Three weeks and few days passed. Chuck told her he would be working at home for a while. He wasn't sure the woman would be at the Empire, he didn't want to be easily found if he was out and working at the usual place. He just needed few days or weeks to spend as far as possible from the places he could meet Elizabeth casually.

Blair figured he was running away from that woman, but she could understand he didn't want anything to do with her after what happened few years before. She had betrayed him, and he wasn't keen on trusting her again. He had once did so and it didn't turn out well. He wouldn't risk again to be hurt.

She wanted to remain home with him, but she needed to check few things at the Palace. She had decided in fact to get back to work. She thought she needed a distraction besides the baby, she needed to do something to make her life meaningful. Alexandra was now seven months old and she could stay few hours without her. There would always be Chuck anyway.

When she got to the Palace, the assistant showed her the office. She hadn't had the time to use it fully since she was six months pregnant when the supervisor named her the new boss. She had now a space just for her and she had to get used to it and the papers she had to check everyday. She so hated bureaucracy but it was part of her job.

"Mrs Waldorf, do you want something to drink or eat?" the young woman asked.

Blair raised an eyebrow, she hated when people called her with her maiden name. "I've never seen you before" she started to say, checking the girl out. "You are...?"

"Kate, I'm Kate. I'm your new assistant Mrs Waldorf. I've been just employed, it's been few days I've worked here" she answered shyly.

"I'm sure you won't be working for long here if you keep calling me Mrs Waldorf anyway" she rolled her eyes. "You are dismissed now."

The girl smiled awkwardly then left the room. Blair sighed and laughed when she realized how she had treated the young girl. She felt almost as if she had got back to her high school days and that girl was one of her minions who didn't behave well.

Since it was the first day, she only gathered some papers and things she should know about the place. She wasn't sure she would be soon perfect with her job, but she felt she could try. After all, she had been chosen by someone for her talent and not for her name.

She spent one hour or two in her office, then she headed out and went to the reception to tell something to the girl who had to control there. She also had to pick up something she had to take home that was there.

"Where is that agenda I was asking for? I remember it's here" she asked while searching in the papers on the desk and the registry at the reception. The woman pointed a red book on the left and she took it to check something before deciding it was better she took it home to control it better. "I will borrow this for today. Can you keep the other one updated?"

She nodded. "I will, Mrs Bass. The one you took it's finished already so you can keep it as long as you want. I'm sure you'll find everything in place."

"I really hope so. Well, I'm going to get back here soon and I want to find everything fixed. Are we alright? I'm counting on you" Blair said with a rather bossy tone. She hated when she had to be like that, but she needed to be respected.

The woman smiled again and she smiled back. She then left the reception to head out of the hotel. She couldn't wait to get back home and start working.

She decided she would get back to her penthouse on feet. She had to run an errand before it would be lunch time, so she tried to reach the place she needed to visit very soon.

She wasn't aware that someone was probably following her.

She went in a boutique to buy a new pair of heels and after she was done, she was caught off guard when she met someone she was surprised to see... or not really.

She was petrified yet a bit excited and anxious to met that person again. She didn't know what to say nor wanted to say anything at all. She just stood there in silence until the other woman talked to her with her sweet but not maternal voice. It was almost a month after she had showed up at Lily's house and she was surprised she still hadn't left town.

"I guess you remember about me" she said.

Blair laughed. It was a bitter giggle. "I never forget who hurts the people I love."

The woman shrugged. "Can't say I am a saint, but I want to fix things."

"He doesn't want to see you nor talk to you on the phone. You are dead for him. Hell, his true mother is too" she said with a sharp tone.

"I know I've not treated him right. Like I said, I really want to fix things but I need to talk to him. If you can help me doing so, I would be glad."

Blair's expression became more severe. "When you came in our lives, few years ago, I was really happy for Chuck to have found his mother. He has never had a true parent. Bart had never supported him, not until his last days. Jack, the man with whom you betrayed his trust in you, made him do things I'm sure he would never dare to do. As much as I'm concerned, Lily is Chuck's real mother. No one ever treated him as a son like she does."

Elizabeth gripped her hands on her bag. The atmosphere was tense. "I'm really serious this time... I need to talk to him before it's too late."

"I think it's already too late" she answered with a cold voice.

Silence fell and she waited the woman to answer, but she didn't. She wondered why she wanted to talk so badly with him? What possibly could have changed after almost five years they hadn't seen each other?

"Look, I... I think he should know the truth. But I can't make that decision for him. I can't take you home without asking him if he wants to see you. You've hurt him very much the last time you saw him and he is protecting himself now. He's protecting our family. He's self-preserving who he loves. He doesn't want you to destroy him again."

The woman looked away and she seemed moved by her words. "Is it... really too late?"

Blair opened her mouth to answer but didn't know what to say at first. She wanted to be harsh and serious, but she felt that woman didn't deserve that much for the moment.

"If what you want to reveal Chuck is really important – then maybe it is. You don't let years pass if you really care. People can easily let go of you if you hurt them in the past. They can decide not to give you a second chance."

"There must be something you can do to let me see him. Please."

She looked away as to find the words. She was very conflicted. Whether she believed Chuck had to know the truth – however it was, she was also convinced that it was his choice to get to know it. She was his wife, she could influence him to change his mind, but that wouldn't be right... would it?

She found it really hard to look for an answer to her indecision. What should she do?

"I can't really promise anything."

She sighed deeply and looked her in the eyes. She looked as if Blair's words had caused something in her heart or body. At least that could mean that she knew she had wronged them. She managed a smile and then left without adding more.

….

When she entered the penthouse hoping to find Chuck and Lexie playing on the couch, she was disappointed. She could not hear any voices in the kitchen nor in the living room either. She thought they were doing few things upstairs, so she went to check.

She was right.

She found him in his studio upstairs. He usually came working there when he felt he needed to spend few time home with them. It pleased Blair a lot knowing that he would work there. Not that she couldn't survive without him, but having him there was different. The baby required lots of help and she couldn't take care of her all the time. Now that she had also decided to start working again, she wanted the baby to still have a parent keeping her company.

She opened the door slowly and peeked in before getting in the studio. He soon raised his head from the laptop and gave her a weak smile. She walked to his desk and reached him behind it then sat on his lap. The leather chair was big enough to keep them comfortable. He held her with one hand put behind her back, while the other still held the pen he was writing notes with. He wrote one last word on his paper since he was left-handed, and then dropped it on the wooden desk.

Blair looked at him carefully, trying to catch any glimpse of struggle but finding any. She thought he either was successfully deep in his work to think about that woman again, or he was just pretending to be okay.

"Had fun on your first day?"

She touched her forehead with annoyance. "The new secretary is already giving me headaches. She kept spelling my surname wrong."

He giggled. "How could she spell it wrong?"

"I was so fuming" she rolled her eyes. "She called me Mrs Waldorf for the whole day."

He frowned. "Interesting. And here I thought you were her. Damn, then I spelled your surname wrong all along" he smirked while she leaned closer to give him a peck on his lips. For some reason he loved when she got mad because it happened that some people still used to refer as her with her nubile surname. "I think you should fire her."

She shot him a glance. "You think? She may learn her lesson" she said proudly.

"You are the boss now. You decide" he smirked. "I'm just on of your mere helpers."

She chewed on her lip before she answered him. "Do you think I should show her who's the boss, huh?" She asked trying to tease him. She was next caressing the back of his head while leaning closer than before until her lips touched his forehead.

"I think you really should" he said with short breath as she dangerously got closer. He wondered why she was being so excited in the mornings.

Blair grabbed his neck with her hands and brought his face towards her. The two kissed feverishly and uncontrollably for a couple of seconds. He was already aroused by her sitting on his lap, it would be hard not to continue that rendezvous somewhere else.

He kept grabbing her thigh with his hand while she clutched on his hair with her fingers, feeling the urge to get undressed as soon as they could.

But she felt as if it wasn't right to do it. She needed to tell him about Elizabeth before he would find out from somebody else and she needed to tell him before they would be naked. The image she had in her head about that confession spilled in the wrong moment didn't please her. She had to be honest first and she wasn't in the mood for sex anyway. Just foreplay.

She recoiled back abruptly to catch air. She avoided his glances, he looked unpleased. When she finally met his eyes, she could tell he was disappointed a lot. He looked like a sad puppy.

"I thought you wanted to play" he nuzzled his nose against her forearm and started to kiss her there. "Dorota is not home and Lexie is sleeping. We could roleplay your favorites..."

"I need to tell you something" she said with a thick voice before standing up and walking away to stand in front of his desk.

He grimaced and followed her with his eyes, suddenly curious. "What is it?"

She stewed for a minute and then let it go. "I met her today" she said with a measured voice.

He already knew who she meant, and he tried to mask his emotions about it. "I hope she didn't brainwash you. You know how much she's good with words. She deceived me."

"She told me she wants to see you" she stiffened before she could continue. "I said that you weren't willing to do so and that it was too late."

He studied her for a moment, then his eyes drifted on the desk. "I won't meet her again. We don't have nothing to say to each other anymore. She lied, earned my trust for her own purposes. A person like this is not worthy of my attention."

"I can't forget what she did to you. But perhaps you can give her a second chance, Chuck? I know what she did to us. I wouldn't wish it to my worst enemy. Few years have passed since then... she came back to apologize. I think she recognized her mistakes and she wants to fix them. She wants to be on good terms with you."

She could tell he was trying hard to keep his patience and facade on. He was a loving man who had been diffident for most of his life. One mistake would mean make him less and less sure of who he had in front of him, and she knew that. It had happened a lot of times that they had had trust issues. It was really difficult for him to win that loyalty back, especially when his pride was wounded. He had been fooled. And he disliked being deceived, above all from family.

The muscles of his jaw jumped as he was considering her words. "I don't care what she wants. I don't care about her _at all_. That woman pretended to be someone she is not. She offended my father and my mother's memory by impersonating her. Would you still trust a person like that? Would you still give her a chance? She's obviously a poser."

"She looked sincere when we talked. She really wanted to see you."

"Or my money, perhaps? I don't need to see her again. I don't want to see her again." He said firmly. "Would you really risk and play her mind games?"

She shook her head. "Would _you_ risk?"

"There's no risking here."

"You think? I think that's not entirely true. We know that it can go two ways if you put it on the line. You either lose again, or you win it all" she explained.

He narrowed his eyes. "Exactly... what would I win? Another female friend in my life?"

"Your mother! The parent you never had!" Her voice quavered when she talked.

"_Mother_? My mother's dead and the only parent I have left are Jack and Lily. Why are you convinced that harlot is _family_? My mother would never do that to me and I'm sure you would never do that to our daughter either. Am I correct?" he observed her reaction.

She shifted her weight from one foot to the other. "Mothers... they are not perfect. Of course I wouldn't do that to Lexie. Over my dead body. But not everyone is like me. Not everyone is able to express their feelings. They'd rather be hated by someone than being loved, because they possibly reason those people don't deserve them. You know Chuck, I think Elizabeth is exactly like that. She hurt you and she'd rather vanish and have you hate her than remain and fix the mistake she has done."

Chuck's eyes grew distant. He could not think that she would really come to New York for that. He still doubted it was for a reason besides money or something else. He remembered that she refused his money the first time. She had surprised him because he totally thought that she would disappear in a few hours, which she did not. She had also confessed him the truth about why she left him. She had confirmed she was his mother.

"She is a coward, then" he realized.

Blair managed a weak smile. "By any chance, yes. I think she is afraid of feeling something for you. Love you. She left you with Bart after you were born, she wasn't ready to take her responsibilities and maybe she never will. But you can try and see her."

"Or I could avoid myself some pain and don't."

She gave him a tolerant smile and leaned closer to his chair again, behind the desk. She put her hands on his shoulders and bend her back so that their heads would almost touch. "I know how much you've suffered and how much you had to endure alone. I'm sure you don't want to be hurt again. But if you don't go and meet that woman, maybe you will do it because you will be forever asking yourself why you didn't risk that time."

He was silently looking at her while she spoke. That was a hard decision to make and he was so unsure about it. He sure did not want to be caught in another scheme.

"You could ask yourself - why didn't I go and talked to that woman? And forever wonder who she could have been. If she came back, there must be a reason. Not necessarily venial... you can't really know if you don't ask her. Do you really want to live the rest of your life not taking the chance to find the truth?"

"What if the truth is what I don't expect" he quietly wondered.

She smiled again. She was relieved when he showed her his worries and let her in. "We go on. _Together_. In the bad and the good times, I will hold your hand. But you need to try or you'll never know." She said as her smile got warmer.

He stared at her for a few seconds. She knew he was probably thinking about the resolution of his indecision. He was pondering and was struggling with his stubbornness.

What would actually happen if that woman bore good news for him? He needed to try and be positive. Not everyone wanted to fool him as he thought. He had to have faith that it would turn out well and that he would have Blair and the baby by his side, if anything.

….

He had finally put his pride aside and decided to go to Elizabeth's hotel. Blair had wanted to come with him and asked Dorota to watch their daughter.

He was not hiding he was being cautious. She could see the millions of thoughts that could be passing in his head in that moment. He was imagining the moment he would meet that woman again and if she was going to tell him something positive or negative.

He did not ask Blair to come but she had decided to do it on her own will. She wouldn't left him alone in this situation. Like it happened few years earlier, she would stay by him and support him however it would turn out. He had not left her side almost a month before after she was anxious she might have been pregnant. And she would not leave his.

Blair was aware of how difficult and painful was Chuck's familiar situation.

He was the richest man of the Empire State, yet before she became his girlfriend again, he was so lonely. He had always been a young guy acting like a mature man, he was so used of being by himself and deciding for himself. No one had ever taken care of him the way she was doing now. No one had cared the way she did.

She felt honored to be his wife. She felt happy to care. She knew it was worth caring for a person like Chuck. He got the love inside of him and she had found the key to get it.

"Do you think she'll be in?" he asked with a shy voice.

"If she isn't, we'll be waiting in the lobby" she promised with a grin and held his hand tighter.

They went to the reception and asked about the woman. She was there apparently. The man behind the desk informed them to wait at the living room, she would come down soon.

Those fifteen minutes awaiting for her in the empty tea room seemed like an eternity. He didn't know why he felt so anxious and uneasy. His hands were wet and he couldn't stay put anywhere. He took that waiting time to walk back and forth between the couch Blair was sitting on, and the window.

They knew when Elizabeth arrived when they heard her heels on the carpet.

He turned slowly and didn't look at her until he allowed himself to. Blair stood up from the couch and smiled at the woman, then reached Chuck.

She decided to talk first. "I'm sorry we disturbed you" she said with kindness.

"I'm very happy that you came" she gave them a smile as well. "Shall we sit and order something to drink?" She asked pointing to the couch Blair was sitting on few seconds before.

"No drinking" Blair said "but I'll gladly sit down." She said as she went to sit.

Chuck followed her and sit next to her. It was a very awkward situation.

"I can't express how much I am grateful you came here today. I wasn't waiting for you. I thought you would never come, actually" the woman admitted.

He sighed. "Why did you want to see me again after all you've done to me?"

"Chuck" Blair echoed from besides him.

"Direct to the point" she made a light giggle. "But I'm glad you care for the reason, because I'm honestly willing to tell you everything. And the first thing I want to do is apologize for that last time we saw each other. I've realized a lot of things during these years."

"I accept your apology, but you'll have to prove you mean it" he said, not caring he would be rude. She had to know that he would be on defensive.

She nodded. "Of course. You have all the right to know."

He waited impatiently that she would start with her story. He was ready for the truth.

Was he going to find something new about his life? He couldn't wait to know.


	26. Dahlia

"You remember the story I told you few years ago, so I won't bother to repeat it" the woman said. "I will add what I didn't tell you before."

Elizabeth's eyes were set on him. His disappointment and expectations for the meeting were evident. He wouldn't give the woman a slight sight of trust. He needed to see that she was true to the words she was going to tell them. If she would be, he would perhaps change his hard features.

Waiting wasn't his strong suit. He had barely been patient in his whole life, let alone when he was trapped in moments as this. He felt as if he had a heavy weight on his heart and that he needed to know the truth to set it free.

Blair was pretty much positive about the outcome of the meeting, on the other hand.

She could feel this time the woman looked like she wanted to spill her secrets, secrets that she may had kept hidden few years earlier because he wasn't ready to hear them yet.

She was sure that every thing would go well. If it wouldn't, she would be ready to help Chuck feeling better about it. He would not shut her out this time. He was matured and more conscious about himself and his family.

A woman would not make their family fall apart.

"Are we sure you are not going to lie?" Chuck asked her. He was cautious.

Elizabeth smiled. "Listen to my story and then you'll judge" she said with what it looked fake sarcasm to him. He still didn't trust her. "You know that I have been with your father over twenty years ago. I was young and I didn't know what I wanted from life."

"I remember I met Bart while I was out with a friend. I didn't like him very much, but somehow I felt attracted to him. My friend wanted to go out with him so badly because he was wealthy, while I didn't care about money. I just wanted someone to love."

Chuck tried so hard not to roll his eyes and Blair saw him trying to keep his expression still. She wished he wouldn't be so diffident.

"In the end I gave up and started dating Bart, hoping that I would grow to like him more, which it never happened. I think it was mostly the opposite. He seemed to like me too much, he wanted to settle down with me and I was just a free spirit to be tied to a man forever..." she sighed, looking away for a moment. "Then I got what I really wanted."

"Did you fall for Bart?" Blair asked casually, but Elizabeth shook her head.

"I've felt just a little attracted to him. I... fell for another man while I was with him" she admitted and her eyes wandered elsewhere. She seemed sad to think about those memories. "I wasn't able to let go of Bart after that."

Chuck frowned, rather annoyed. He wanted her to get direct to the point of the story.

The woman continued. "I soon found out that I was expecting a baby. I wasn't sure who the father was between the two, so I did a test in secret without telling Bart. He eventually found out and dreaded that I had taken one in the first place."

"He acted weird, hired a P.I. to find out who was the other man I had slept with while I was with him, but couldn't find out who it really was until I confessed it to him so that I could finally let him go."

His expression hardened. It was sad to hear that the only woman besides Lily that his father had loved, seemed to dig him for another man. He knew that feeling. It was awful. He felt sorry for his father in that moment.

She struggled to find the words. "The other man offered to marry me and runaway together and keep the baby with us, but Bart beat him to it. A night, when I was about four months pregnant, he proposed to me and I said no. I didn't want that to be my future. A husband and a child before being in my twenties? That was something I would never write on my to do list. Perhaps, I would write that on things to do after my thirties."

"How did you leave Bart?" Chuck asked with curiosity.

Elizabeth seemed pleased that he had talked politely. "I told him the truth. I said that baby was a mistake and that I didn't want him. I wasn't fit to play the mother. It wasn't what I really expected from life. I also confessed him who was my lover... he didn't take it too well. I think that was the straw that broke the camel's back."

"He said that if so, I had to go out of his life and since I didn't want the baby, he would keep him. He also promised to give me money to disappear but you already know that."

"Why did you come back? You said you weren't my mother and I trusted you. I was glad – I was glad that you weren't related to me _at all_. I may be a tough person but I wouldn't hurt my daughter like that _ever_. Perhaps you never loved me as much if it was so easy to hurt me."

Chuck's words were sharp. He couldn't keep his rough tone from expressing. That woman had hurt him in the past by doing what she did to him with Jack, and she hurt his father too for that matter. She deserved every single mean word he could think of.

She sighed and tried to look at him even if it was hard. Truth was about to be out, she felt that she had to say it for once and for all. "I know that I couldn't take back what I had done five years ago."

"Why didn't you try to fix the mistake? I _needed_ my mother!" He said loudly and almost jumped from his seat. "I was right calling you a coward."

"Yes, you are" she admitted shamelessly. "I know I am a coward for not facing my responsibilities when I had to. I had to stay an help you against your uncle to take your hotel back. I don't love myself for that act. I was clouded by my love for Jack. I felt as if what we had rebuilt was being destroyed once again by a relative. It saddened me."

Chuck frowned and massaged his temples. "Destroyed _once again_? What do you mean by that? Was Jack your lover?"

"That was the reason why Bart was so hard on both before I left for Australia with his younger brother. He couldn't stand us. We had betrayed him and it felt right to pay for our mistakes away from New York" she explained.

"At least my father didn't lie about that" he said sarcastically with an edge of bitterness.

Elizabeth got serious. "Your father has loved you since your first hour in the world. Of this I can assure you. Before I left Manhattan, he said that I broke his heart but at least he could keep something that reminded him of me while I was away, despite he never promised that he would be a lovable father. He wasn't sure he could completely love somebody who resembled so much someone he now hated."

Chuck shrugged. "He told me that I reminded him of you and that's why he couldn't bear looking at me. I knew there was more than that."

"I know that even if I wouldn't have fallen for his brother, we couldn't have been together."

He didn't know what to say anymore. The entire truth was out.

Elizabeth was his real mother and had had an affair with his uncle Jack but he gladly wasn't his son. He instantly pitied Bart. He had been hurt too.

"What about now? Would you like to drink something?"

The woman smiled, surprised by the question. "I would love to" she answered.

….

It felt almost unreal that things were fixed now. He had found his real mother again. It had seemed impossible for him to have a living parent other than Jack. Fate wanted it to be his supposed dead mother but he didn't care much for the moment.

The only thing he would try to care about, was the trust he was going to put into this woman. He wasn't sure she had been completely honest with him. He knew he had to open up and not being diffident, but it wasn't an easy task to accomplish after all that had happened.

He would try to be on defensive but he would also try to give what he could so that this new relationship could work.

"I'm glad it all worked out" Blair said few hours later at home.

He was randomly watching outside of the bedroom window. "Yeah" he answered, quite lost in his thoughts. She noticed it.

"Aren't you happy? You've finally found the truth about your mother. You are _finally_ sure."

He shook his head lightly. "I'm not quite sure, if I have to tell you the truth."

She frowned. "Chuck, she told you everything. What happened with your father and why she didn't want to be with him and how she left him. Isn't that enough proof?"

He sighed and looked down at his hands. He wasn't sure of anything. Despite the explanations Elizabeth gave him, he felt as if there was still some piece missing.

Not that he didn't fully believe her – he believed her. He just thought there was part of the story she hadn't told him and was waiting to earn his trust to tell him.

"Words are words. As much as the story seems real, nothing proves that it is. Anyone can easily create a story and pass it as true" he explained.

Blair snorted and reached him on the armchair next to the couch he was sitting on. "Why don't you believe her?"

"What she said, seemed so predictable. Wasn't it? She already told me she abandoned me to Bart and left because she didn't want to be my mother. She also told me she loved Jack and I had the confirmation that she betrayed my father with him at that time. What's new? She didn't even confirm she is my mother."

"I think you need to stop being so diffident" she suggested as she put her hand on his. "I know that is hard for you, after all these years you've believed she was just a poser. But now you actually have the chance to reestablish a new connection with her."

He seemed quite unmoved. "There has never been a connection between me and that woman. Even before she did what did, she knew nothing about me."

Blair laughed and he flashed a quick, bitter glance at her. "It's not unnatural. She didn't know you before. It was the first time she met you. If you would give her time, perhaps something could grow between the two of you."

She wanted to tell him how much he was being pessimist and with no hope in others, but she refrained. She knew it was normal for him to think it like that. Elizabeth had disappeared for years after their first meeting and hadn't tried to contact them ever to fix her mistake and confide Chuck that he was her son.

He wasn't wrong being on defensive. He didn't want to be burnt. She thanked that woman had confirmed she was his mother, or else she wasn't sure of how he would have reacted.

Chuck had been too long without parental figures. She knew Lily was who he considered a sort of a mother and Jack was his only uncle. He had been helped by his stepmother more than his real father had helped him before he died.

She knew it was hard for him. He had grown up alone and had been his own guide. Theirs was his first and only family besides the Van der Woodsens.

"I don't think it will" he answered her coldly after a long silence.

"Chuck. I beg you. I know that you don't know her, but try to trust her. If you don't trust her, you can never come to believe her."

He shoot her a glance. "Thank you for the advice, but I think I know how to handle this."

"I know you do. I just wish you would not shut me out this time." She said sheepishly. "I don't want you to carry this burden alone and don't let me help you the way I can. We are together, we will be together. We need to be close now."

He frowned and his expression sweetened. "I learned my lesson a while ago. You are _my_ family now."

She smiled. "We'll go through this together."

…

After she and Chuck had met her at her hotel, he had tried to contact her earlier, but couldn't find her. It seemed as if her phone was always shut down and she didn't take calls at the place she was staying. It sounded strange. The only time she picked up her phone, she had been cold.

He started to think about the possible reasons. The reasons could be multiple, and the worst ones weren't missed on the list of possibilities.

Maybe she had to do other things while in New York and couldn't meet him, or maybe she just wanted to take time to figure things out before they would try to have a sort of relationship.

Thanks to Blair anyway, he had come to believe that woman was really his mother after what she had told him. It was impossible that she wouldn't be. She had had a baby from Bart, hadn't she? He kept repeating to himself that he needed to trust her.

Could she possible come to tell him new informations about his past? He thought it was likely. After all, they didn't really finish to talk the last time.

So when Elizabeth came in the afternoon of a casual Friday, he tried to do his best to welcome her in his penthouse and tried to be less suspicious of her.

"Elizabeth" he greeted her. "I've been trying to connect with you for three days but your phone was dead. Did something happen?"

She smiled and held her bag tightly in her hands while Chuck showed her the way to the living room. "That's why I came here. I need to tell you something before I leave."

"You're already leaving?" he frowned.

The woman smiled again and looked a bit sad. "Believe me, you won't want me here after I'll tell you why I came for one last time" she said with a resigned voice.

He looked quite confused. "Is it me or is it my family? They can wait to know you."

"It's nothing like that, Charles" she said as she shook her head.

He opened his arms with wonder. "Then what it is? You've ignored my calls from both your phone and the phone of the reception. You wouldn't want to meet me to have lunch together, you refused to do anything with me when I asked you. If you needed time, I would have waited."

She bit her lip and looked down at first. "I haven't ignored your calls because I needed time. I have, by any chance, ignored your calls because I didn't feel like picking up."

"That is not a valid reason."

"You don't understand" she said as she glance at him. She seemed cold when their eyes met, it scared him.

He emitted a bitter giggle. "Then explain. Why would you do that? Didn't you want to reconcile with me all along through these last five years?"

She sighed and her expression hardened. "It is true that I've wanted to reconcile with you, but not in the way you would like. I... never finished narrating my story. There's one last thing that I have to tell you before I leave."

"Not in the way I would like?" he asked, startled.

"Look, Chuck. I've already told you about me and your father and how it ended, but I've never told you what happened in between. Correct?" she questioned, and he nodded his head slightly. "I really got pregnant of Bart when I was in my twenties. You can send someone to check. But what happened to that baby... I still can't get over it."

"Wasn't I – that baby?"

"There were complications" she started to explain "when I got into the fifth month of my pregnancy. Your father didn't pressure me to put an end to the life inside of me, nor he asked me to marry him again. But I was terribly stressed that I ended up losing that baby anyway."

He shook his head, clearly skeptic. "This doesn't make sense. You said you didn't love my father, yet you got pregnant with him a second time?" he wondered, hoping he wasn't pushing his hope too far. He needed an answer.

"There never was a second time" she said with a quiet voice. "I left the country with Jack after I lost the baby. I didn't want to be in New York anymore... it hurt me. And Bart didn't want to see me ever again after all that I had done. I needed to runaway from here, I wanted to explore the world now that I was finally free."

He opened his mouth in disbelief, trying to hold himself together. "Then why did you come here and said you were my mother if you aren't" he murmured, more to himself than to her.

"I don't know" she shrugged. "I just felt guilty for what I did to you few years ago that I needed to come to tell you how sorry I was. But then you asked me the whole story, and I told you that. I didn't reveal you the last bits because I planned to spill them very soon after I would have fixed few things I left in town. But then you kept calling and calling -"

"I can't say I wasn't diffident, but I thought you were my mother." He cut her off.

Elizabeth seemed moved. "I know, and I'm really sorry for making you believe I was. But I never explicitly told you I gave birth to you."

"You made me believe you did. You had to tell me you lost Bart's child before you left forever. You had to tell me your true reasons when we met the first time."

She nodded. "I understand why are you mad at me now. But I couldn't leave. My passport was out of date and I needed to wait few weeks to have it back."

He started getting upset. He couldn't believe it. "I'm so glad you are not my mother" he said, fuming. "My mother would never give me false hopes. She would never delude me that she came to see me and only me because she wanted to see her son."

"I would have left two days after we've met each other" she explained.

"Then why didn't you leave?"

She shrugged and managed a weak smile. "I couldn't leave without telling you this. If I had left, you would think I was your mother and would come looking for me again. I didn't want you to do that, because I am _not_ your mother Charles. I didn't want you to spend time looking for something I couldn't give you."

"Which I eventually did" he made a wry giggle. "You have no idea how I've spent these last three weeks. I was lost in my thoughts for hours trying to figure out why you would be back in my life when you were the one that had decided to exit it. I was stressed too much that I have dedicated myself to my job like I never did. I was struggling between meeting you again and letting you go your way. And you know what I've realized? I lost my time. Because not only you are not related to me at all, you are person I would never aspire to be."

"You are right hating me. But you need to know one last thing before I go out of your life forever. For the few weeks I dated your father, I felt blessed. Until it fell apart and I got pregnant, I couldn't deny that he was a caring man every woman in this world would want to be with. Even after I stopped feeling a little love for him, I kept appreciating the way he behaved with me."

"I can't believe why my father would love a person like you."

She smiled. "I don't blame you. He was stubborn, he always got what he wanted. I know that I wasn't a whim for Bart. I'm sorry I never developed deeper feelings for him. Maybe, love could have changed me." She giggled then sighed. "I will leave tomorrow. I promise if I ever come back to New York, you will never cross paths with me. Have a good life."

She eyed him one last time before she reached the elevator and got in. Chuck was sure as hell that he would never meet her again.

He had expected things would turn out this way since the beginning of this story. He couldn't believe why that woman would be back in town after years she had told him she wasn't his mother. There had to be a twist in that story.

He felt so fooled. He had really started believing she was his mother.

For all he knew, his real mother was dead and gone. She had probably been a better woman than Elizabeth would ever be, but he could not judge a book by its cover. That woman had probably had her reasons. At least now the thing was cleared, but it left some coldness in his heart that it would take a while to warm up.

….

He sat down on the couch and put his head in his hands, desperately trying not to break down. He felt more betrayed than he had been the first time, but something made him think that he would not spiral like several years before.

He did not send a text to Blair nor called her, but she came back home earlier than usual that afternoon. She found him there and alone and she got suddenly worried.

He came to greet her as if he was a zombie. He had unlit some lights in the room hoping she would not notice his puffy and broken face when she would talk to him. She has spent few hours at the Palace hotel to run some errands.

She didn't want to leave him at first, but then he suggested her to go. She had a job and had to look after it. She had clients from Asia and couldn't miss them arriving at the hotel. He had promised he would look after the baby and would keep doing his job from home and try to contact that woman. If only she had known...

"What happened?"

He wasn't able to answer at first. Something was blocking his throat. "Elizabeth – she came here a while ago."

"Really? Finally she showed her face again. You arranged to meet somewhere? I thought you wanted to have dinner with her and let her meet Lexie." She asked casually, hoping he was just down because of something else.

"There'll be no dinner and meeting" he answered coldly.

Blair was surprised. This worried even more and she thought something had happened. He looked really strange. "She already left? That's so rude."

"She is lost, Blair. Lost."

She frowned. "What do you mean? Did she tell you something else?"

He looked down for a brief moment then he raised his head and what she could see was desolation. His eyes looked empty and disappointed. "I thought that something like that would happen. I saved myself a lot of pain by thinking the worst."

"You did not. I know you believed till the last time. I'm sure of it. That woman is a monster for doing this to you again."

"Oh she is. But at least now I know the truth. The truth set me free." He said giving her a side glance with a zombie face.

She got sad instantly. "Are you okay?"

"I feel relieved" he said, managing a little smile. "Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go to refresh. I don't want to eat anything tonight. I need to finish something. Can you forgive me if I don't eat with you?"

She nodded and gave him a grin. "Of course."

"I'll see you in bed later." He said before he would allow her to look at his face closely. He walked away and climbed the stairs, disappearing soon from her sight.

She had noticed his face. His eyes were red and she knew they weren't because of the spring allergies. She knew he had probably cried while he was alone at home, and she couldn't blame his sadness.

She had thought everything would be soon on place. He would have a real mother to look up to and to create a late bond. Her daughter would have another grandmother and she would have a second mother-in-law. Compared, what Elizabeth would become to her if she was Chuck's real mother, was meaningless to what she would be to the rest of her family.

She had really hoped that she would be that long lost parent Chuck needed, but probably it was better that his real mother had died. At least she probably died to save her son. Perhaps Chuck's real mother was the opposite of what that Elizabeth seems to be. She thought that even Bart seemed a better man than that concubine of his.

….

Blair decided to go looking for Chuck after a hour or so. She had wanted to give him time to stomach the recent news. She had waited to go to him and had kept herself busy with their baby who needed to be put to bed.

It had been hard for him to understand that woman had left out part of the story when they first met because she thought it would be too hard to take for him, and she was right.

After she had got home, he had gone upstairs. She couldn't look him in the eyes better since he kept his head down as he rushed to one of the rooms of the first floor after their brief talk, but she could tell that he was about to break down.

He hadn't broken down in front of her in a while, and that scared her. He was a man and didn't quite love to be moved to tears. But he knew how to cry like any other human on Earth, and he only did it rarely when he couldn't put his facade on anymore.

She remembered that the last time he had cried was when she risked to lose their baby. After the worst had passed and he was allowed to see them, he seemed both happy and scared at the same time that she couldn't recognize him when he freed his soul. That side of him was precious. Not that she wanted him to cry more, she just wished he would open up in a similar way to her.

He was dedicated to her and Alexandra but he still kept some walls to protect him and sometimes this made her sad. She knew it when she decided to be his girlfriend years before, that it would be really hard to have him more open, but nothing was lost. She would wait.

She went upstairs and she was conscious of where she was going. She knew where he was hiding. There was a room, at the end of the long corridor. That room was made for hosts, but Chuck had randomly slept in it few months before when they argued because of his job. She thought he loved that room because it was purple and relaxing.

She carefully removed her shoes before she got in.

The room was dark besides the slight flashes of light that lightened few areas. She could see the couch and the closet next to it, the small table with flowers and the armchair right next to the window. The part that remained half illuminated was the big bed on the other side of the room. She knew he was there when she turned her head and could see his figure.

She walked slowly to the empty side of the bed and fixed next to him. Chuck was on his side, his body turned towards the wall where some pictures were hanging. He wasn't moving but she knew that he wasn't sleeping.

She moved closer to him until their bodies touched. Her hand searched for his and she found it soon, he seemed as if he was holding his stomach. She entwined her fingers with his but initially she didn't get any response, then he interlaced them and held them tight.

She wasn't sure if she had to say something, anything at all. She thought that any word would not mean anything. Things went in a way she couldn't have really predicted. She was sure that Elizabeth was his mother and she was actually surprised when she said the opposite after she had seemed to prove her identity.

Blair stayed silent until he spoke. "I'm sorry" he said with a cracked voice. It seemed rough and fatigued.

She couldn't understand why he was saying that. "You don't have to be. I should."

He seemed to giggle but a weird sound came out of his mouth. He let some more minutes pass, then he continued with what he wanted to say. "I really hoped" he murmured.

"I know" she echoed.

"I thought that this time I could have a parent to look up to, someone who was blood of my blood that could – ahem, give me advice. I hate -" he trailed off and she heard a deep sigh then a hiccup, "I hate myself for deluding my expectations and yours."

She freed her hand from his and caressed his cheek gently. She didn't dare to go under his eye at first, she knew she would find his eyes wet. But she felt as if she had to. He had to know she was there to help him go through this. She tried to dry his tears as he continued.

"I will never leave you" he said quickly, probably fearing his voice would crack. "I won't act like that woman did."

She smiled and kissed the back of his neck. "I won't let you leaving us" she laughed with a low voice. "And if you break your promise, you will have to give me billions of alimonies. I don't think you want that, do you?" She giggled again.

He giggled as well and turned to her after few seconds. She thought he was sure she would not see his face, but she could distinguish it in the dark very well. He looked a mess. The slim light of the bedroom enlightened half of his face and she could see his glossy eyes. It made her sad but at the same time it made her happy that he was opening up.

He kept staring at her until she leaned closer and gave him a quick kiss, then he started crying silently. She could see him trying to keep his features still, but he couldn't succeed. She saw a tear break on his cheek and she instantly pulled him towards her in a hug, he put his head on her chest and started crying more loudly than he was doing before.

She tried to calm him down and support him as he poured his soul to her, until he fell asleep in her arms like a little child. It felt relaxing to her. She was glad that she could soothe him.

It didn't matter Elizabeth wasn't his mother. She knew that he had a family and that family loved him more than that woman could ever do if she was who they thought she would be.

She and the baby would never leave him.

….

Heya, what did you think of this chapter? I was very torn about Chuck's "mother" at first. I didentro know whether to have her be his mother or not. I opted for the second option because it seemed more fun to write. I hope it did not disappoint!

Comments are loved :)


	27. Primrose

Hi all! As you can see this week I've updated earlier than usual. No idea what inspired me, haha. Hope you'll like this new chapter. Comments are loved! ;)

….

A loud cry woke them up in the deepest of the night. Blair hadn't realized that they had fallen asleep in the guest room after she had tried to comfort him. The crying baby broke the atmosphere that created in that room a while before.

She couldn't expect Lexie to sleep the whole night, the baby was still young and had been put to bed earlier than usual so it was expected that she would wake up before the sunrise.

"Not now" she murmured. He opened his eyes slowly after she spoke. "Did I wake you up?"

"I don't mind. I'll go check" he said as he got off the bed. Blair got off the bed soon after him and she could see him smile a little when she did it. It was too soon to believe he was okay, but at least was a start.

Chuck picked the baby up from her little crib and tried to calm her down by putting her pacifier in her mouth.

"I should had woken up earlier to check on her" Blair said. "She is probably hungry or thirsty."

"Where is her water?" he asked.

Blair spot the bottle on the changing table and gave it to him. Lexie cried again when he removed her pacifier, but then she started drinking the water vigorously as her parents watched with attention.

"I guess she was really thirsty" she giggled. He laughed too. "I gave her water about six hours ago" she added.

He nodded and then she noticed how his eyes changed. She noticed he had rings under his eyes and that in the corners there were still shades of red because he had cried few hours before. Sadly she couldn't do anything to remove that.

"How many hours have passed ever since -" he murmured, leaving the last part of the question into the dark. He was tired and sleepy and didn't want to talk too much.

"I think four. It's almost 2am."

He nodded, still looking at the baby that had stopped drinking the water. "Oh. Thought it was already tomorrow when the little one woke us up. I should stop hoping for things."

"Tomorrow will always come, Chuck. Whether it's sunny or rainy or there's a hurricane. That's one thing you can never stop wishing. Another day. Another possibility."

He looked up at her. "You're right. Although at the moment seems the only thing I could wish for."

"It's not" she told him frankly. "There's so much to hope in life. You are a great person and to me and your daughter you are being a great husband and father. I know in your heart you might wonder how our baby will grow up and you are wishing her the best, as well as I know you are doing that for me. See? This also means having hope."

He bit his lip and sighed. "I think I'd be lost without you and her" he whispered with a broken voice. He seemed to be scared to admit it out loud.

Blair smiled and got closer to them. "We are not leaving."

He looked insecure. So insecure as he had never been. He had rarely showed that trait, he was mostly the one that motivated and pushed people not to give up. He had done it lots of times with her and with other people like Serena or Nate. He was a supportive man, but he also needed support that she never failed to give him.

Chuck had been a broken guy when they started to get intimate and developed feelings. He had changed during those years, but some of his emotionally depressed traits hadn't completely vanished with his maturation.

She knew that somehow, he was still broken and the parts of himself that were hurt would take longer to heal if it hadn't been for her and her positive support. If it wasn't for her, she knew that he would not be here today.

She thought he was more fragile than he ever let her know. And she cherished him too much to let him lose himself again because of what had just happened with Elizabeth.

He just stared at her, his mouth open and his eyes pleading. She wished she knew what to do how to make him feel better.

"I've got an idea" she said after a few seconds of silence. "Tomorrow you and me are going on a date. I'll choose the place."

He frowned. "On a date?"

"Don't you feel like we need to breathe some fresh air and free ourselves? I think we should go out alone like old times and have fun pretending we are not married. I won't accept a no as an answer" she raised both eyebrows.

"Why should we pretend?"

She rolled her eyes amicably. "Didn't you just love the times when we were together and we felt so free? When I danced for you several times ago and our secret encounters?"

He smirked, although it wasn't so convinced. "How could I forget."

"Wouldn't you like to relive those times?"

"I think it could be a good therapy" he agreed.

She grinned with accomplishment. "We'll have fun, I'm sure of it. We're going to call Serena to babysit Lexie since it's Dorota's free day. And we're going to try to live the day as better as we can and we'll try to be free from our worries. Deal?"

"Deal" he nodded.

The baby had fallen asleep while they talked, so Chuck put her under the sheets of the crib and switched the lights off hoping she would sleep till morning. He and Blair got back to their bedroom and changed into night clothes before they slipped on their comfortable bed and drifted off sleep.

….

He didn't expect a breakfast in bed the day after. Blair had the maid take the food up for them both and for the baby. His mood got better even if he was afraid it could soon turn dark again. It was too short after what had happened and he needed to distract if he didn't want to think about that for the rest of the day.

Blair asked him to wait five minutes so that she could get the baby from the other room and take her there. When she came back with her, he couldn't wait to eat together.

"Look who is here" she said as they entered the bedroom. "Say good morning to daddy."

"Gogu da!" the baby shouted as Blair tried to make her wave. "Gu gu gu!"

She sat down on the mattress and put Lexie next to her, not far from where Chuck was. He reached out to her to pick her up and he fixed her on his lap. The baby looked up and kept moving both arms joyfully as he caressed her cheek.

"Today you are going to have the pleasure to eat breakfast with your beautiful mother and father. Aren't you excited, Lexie?" he asked her. The baby stopped waving her hands and was now looking at him with a confused expression. "What do you want for starters?"

He took two little jars from the tray and a spoon. Lexie followed him as he picked the things, until he showed them to her.

"Look what we have today. Banana or pear?" He put both jars in front of the baby to choose. Lexie extended her hand and all excited seemed to point the banana baby food. Chuck laughed. "Banana. Good choice. I think it's your favorite, isn't it? But I suggest you to stop choosing it when you'll start falling in love with guys."

Blair made a face, and he noticed it. He smirked at her. "Don't listen to your dad, Lexie" she said, and the baby was soon captured by her mother's voice. "He's just jealous someday you'll make all the guys fall at your feet."

He rolled his eyes. "And I'll protect you from them and their forbidden fruits" he said with an edge of protection in his voice that made Blair burst into laughter.

"Chuck Bass protecting his daughter from bananas. That is a really nice image forming in my head right now." Blair said, another giggle escaped her mouth.

"What it's wrong with that? There are bad bananas in this world and I don't want her to taste one and be hurt because it had an acrid taste. There are a lot of ripened fruits here in New York. I was one of them, don't you remember?"

She nodded. "You made me start liking them. I'm sure someone is going to make her like bananas too" Blair winked at him.

He rolled his eyes again and looked at the baby that was eying him with a tender pout. "I hope it won't happen too soon." He said as he opened the little jar and started to put some baby food on the spoon and then gave it to Lexie. "Thankfully there's time to throw bad bananas away."

Blair kept giggling as he feed their baby. "I wonder how many will you have to throw away for her. I bet that she's going to be very famous when she grows up."

"I'm sure she will. Hasn't she the genes of New York's finest?" he smirked.

"She is well done" she agreed.

Lexie seemed to eat her baby food very calmly that morning. Blair had no idea if it was the atmosphere or if the baby was hungry. Either way, it sounded awesome. They hadn't had a breakfast together in ages.

Once Lexie had finished eating, he cleaned her mouth and hands and put her next to him on the bed. He could finally eat something now that their baby had been feed. He took some fruits from a bowl and few other things. He tasted the food with a different mood that morning, and he was sure she had noticed too.

"How are you doing today?" Blair asked when she caught him smile a little.

He raised his head from his brioche and looked quite confused, probably lost in his own train of thoughts. "Alright. I think I am alright. Breakfast was delicious."

She soon changed her expression into something neutral. "I'm glad you loved it. I think we should eat more together, what do you think? We should try to have Lexie eat almost as the same time as we so that we can spend lunch and dinner together."

"That's not a bad idea."

"Of course she'll eat before us, but only because she still isn't able to eat by herself." She explained while she checked on the baby. "I want us to be more unite... strengthen our bond."

He looked down and managed a smile. He knew what she meant with those words and couldn't wait to spend more time together with them. Blair took his hand and he pulled it to him to kiss her palm. Then he moved her hand on his cheek and closed his eyes for a few seconds, just to appreciate her warmth. "I love you both so much" he murmured.

"We love you too" Blair echoed.

He felt Lexie's tiny hand pulling his robe and he looked at her. He slowly dropped Blair's hand and she also turned to their daughter. "Do you love mommy and daddy, Lexie?"

The baby emitted a sound while clapping her hands on the mattress. "Mo mo du du!"

They both chuckled and exchanged glances. "Didn't it look like mommy and daddy?"

"What? She just said two syllables, Blair. I think it's too early for her to say anything."

Blair shrugged. "I heard a _m_ and a _d_. If I recall mom and dad start with those letters. Should we bet on which word she's going to say first?"

"It's a lost bet. I know what she's going to say first." He raised both eyebrows, sure of himself.

She rolled her eyes. "How can you be so sure?"

"I just feel it."

….

"Chuck, Serena has just arrived. Are you ready?" Blair asked a couple of hours later. It was late evening and they were preparing to go out. She had worn a short dress in a water green color and he was wearing a grey suit with a matching bowtie.

"I'm ready." He said with Lexie in his arms. She nodded and asked for the baby and then they went downstairs.

On the couch of the living room, a radiant Serena was waiting for them. She was dressed very casual for the night.

"Hi!" she waved at the baby more than them. "How is my niece doing today?"

"Wonderfully. And she hopes she will stay this way" Blair commented as she passed the baby to an eager Serena. "We are not sure of when we're going to get back."

"Don't worry, I know where the guest rooms are if I want to sleep."

Blair seemed to approve. "You are welcome to go in the room you'd prefer. Are you sure you won't get bored alone?"

Serena made a face. "You are underestimating me! This is not the first time I spend with Lexie. I have babysat her many times. Tell her, Chuck."

"It's true" he nodded his head to a surprised Blair.

She shrugged. "Then I'm sure you won't have any troubles. I hope."

"Hey, I'm not a teenager anymore! Plus, I think Carter will lend a hand. He is coming home today after something he had to do for his job."

Chuck frowned. "Baizen has a job, really?"

"Now you are underestimating him. Carter has had a job for months now. But you never asked me about it" she shrugged. "His father gave him one of his little companies. It's not a big thing like Bass Industries, but he can live with the money he gets from it. It's pretty cool."

"Great, good for him. But now we have to go because it's late. The baby food and all the things the baby eats are in the kitchen, while the other things she needs are in her nursery. For anything, you can text or call us but I'd rather hope you won't do it."

"I think it won't be needed. I'm going to handle it well, I'm sure of it." She said proudly. "One thing I don't trust is how are you dressed, Chuck. Wasn't this supposed to be a revival of your high school years or something?"

Blair pursed her lips. "How do you know? I didn't tell you."

He didn't look pleased. "Why should I change my outfit in favor of more juvenile clothes?"

Serena made a sarcastic face. "Have you forgot how older are you, Chuck? I get that you love suits and you are used to wear them, but there is something called jeans and sweaters. I don't believe you've never worn one once in your life."

"Perhaps when I wasn't the CEO of the Industries. Long time ago."

"I think if you have a pair, you should try them on. What do you say?" she proposed.

Chuck thought about it for an instant. "I'd say I'll go quickly upstairs to change myself. This wasn't actually a bad idea, sis. I'll be right back."

Serena and Blair exchanged a glance when Chuck really left to go changing. It was unusual for him not to wear a suit, but it wasn't like he was opposed to usual clothes.

"Great suggestion, S. I admire you for that" Blair complimented her best friend.

Serena smiled widely. "No need to thank me. I did it for you and for him. About him, how is everything going? You told me he saw his mother again last week. How did it go?"

She soon changed expression. "She is not his mother. And he hasn't taken it too well. Yesterday evening after Elizabeth left, he hid into a guest room to be alone and it scared me. I know that he needs time for himself, but I want to help too... I don't want him to carry this burden alone like he did in the past. You know how much damage caused."

"I remember it well." She said. "You are such a nice and cute wife, B."

She rolled her eyes and blushed a little. "The main role of a queen is to help her king. I won't let this situation destroy us like it did five years ago."

"I am positive it won't. After all Chuck is a changed man compared to years ago. He is caring and responsible and loves you and the baby. You are married now. I can't see him letting the family be sucked into his vortex of emotions."

"I won't leave his side" she promised. "At the cost of arriving to force him to be helped. I don't want him to close in himself, it's just not the right thing to do."

"I agree. Have faith, he won't. I think you count more for him than that woman would ever."

"Let's hope for the best. I am afraid he won't enjoy this night out" she sighed.

Serena patted her shoulder while she was trying to hold Lexie with the other arm. "Why should he not, B? Forgetting who you're talking about? I'm sure a jump in the past will be good for him. It will probably emerge some good memories about how you got together."

She looked down when she heard footsteps from behind her. She and Serena both turned to see he had changed. He was now wearing simple grey pants and a shirt.

"You look better in these" Serena commented. "Although I hoped you wouldn't pick a shirt."

"Did you want me to go out shirtless, sis? I never knew you had such fantasy in your mind. And you're even expressing it in front of your best friend and my former wife."

Serena rolled her eyes and looked away. "I meant a shirt with no buttons, but whatever."

"I'm not jealous" Blair said with an amused face. "And I don't mind what you've changed into. It's better than a suit if you want to live as if you were seventeen again." She added. "Although you used to wear suits all of your life."

"Don't you think you should go now?"

"Are you throwing us out of our own house?" Blair asked. "Anyway, we'll leave now. Don't forget to do what I said and don't tire the baby out. Text or call if it's necessary."

Serena nodded. "I remember, I remember. Now go!"

Blair sent a kiss to her baby from afar and then she and Chuck left their penthouse to get in the limo that would take them to the first place Blair choose to start the _date_.

"How do I look?" Chuck asked, still looking at his clothes. "I don't feel me without a suit. It's been a while I haven't put casual clothes on."

"I like it. It's for a change. And besides, I would like you even if you were wearing something else other than suits." She winked at him. "Especially with no clothes on, if you ask me."

He shrugged. "I might try it someday. Who knows. By the way, where are we going?"

"A club. Not yours though. I think we rarely had a club date, hadn't we?"

"Not that I remember. We are not athletic types. At least not in the dance world" he smirked, and she slapped his arm.

The car stopped few minutes later in front of a second class building. It wasn't in the suburbs, but it probably wasn't on the Upper East Side either. Chuck thought they were near Brooklyn or something, a zone he rarely went to.

They stepped out of their limo hand in hand, headed to the entrance. Apparently Blair had a hook in the club and she tipped him so that he let them in without any queue. Chuck had smiled at her and intended to compliment her for the move, but then the music blasted his ears so much in the big room they got into, that he wasn't able to have his voice heard.

He reached Blair's ear to whisper something. "Are we going to remain here for the rest of the night? The music is too loud."

"What? The music is loud? Yeah, I figured. I'm just looking for the private area" she said as she held his hand and guided him through the crowd. "There it is." She said as they walked to a big door covered with a blue velvet texture. She tipped the other bodyguard next to it and then he let them in. "You know, I don't want anybody to find about us."

The private area seemed neat and blocked most of the noise of the thundering music blasting outside in the main dance room. It had few couches and small tables. The lights were dark and mostly blue. Besides them, nobody was there.

"Sounds juicy. That's why we came me so far? You are afraid your boyfriend may find about us?" he asked with a serious voice.

Blair turned abruptly and she tried to look innocent. "Nate is your best friend. Do you really want him to know what's happening between us? I don't think you want to ruin your friendship because of a woman."

"Nate mustn't know about us. Even though I wouldn't mind if he knew." He smirked.

She rolled her eyes and dragged him to the furthest couch. "Shut up" she answered jokingly and then she pushed him down on the couch. "Tonight, this small room will be ours for a while... as long as you wish for. Do you have any special desire, Chuck?" she asked with a shallow voice as she reached for his hand and put it on her thigh.

He looked up to see her face despite the room wasn't that lightened. "Are there any restrictions?" he wondered while his hand grasped the back of her leg.

"Have I ever mentioned one?" she teased and moved his hand now, putting it under the hem of her mini dress.

He bit his lip. "Not that I remember."

He started caressing her thigh slowly as she looked up and closed her eyes. She seemed to quite enjoying it. She put her hands on his shoulders and got closer to him while his other hand started doing the same on her other thigh. The pleasure seemed to double and he sudden felt her skin rough with goosebumps.

"Tonight, we can enjoy each other without worrying someone can catch us. Are you ready to show me if you're worth the money I paid to let us in this club?" she teased.

He couldn't stop himself and without adding a word, he pulled her to him and he kissed her. She exchanged the kiss with vehemence and a new power, messing his hair with one of her hands. He recoiled back few seconds later. "Did you mean my money?"

She shook her head lightly and smirked. "You are ruining the moment with all of this talk, Bass" she answered, pretending she was annoyed. "Why can't you just enjoy the moment? I'm not sure tomorrow we can see each other. My mother is going to be around the whole day and I told Nate we could go out together for lunch."

He gave her another kiss while he grabbed her thigh vigorously and moved his hand under her dress as if he was too hungry of her. "Why don't we just tell him the truth" he suggested, but Blair shook her head with a teasing smile. "If he loves us, he'll accept it."

"Nate would never accept his best friend slept with his girlfriend. We are breaking the bro code" she explained, stroking his hear gently and sending him smiles. "Are we so bad?"

"Do we care? I don't."

"Neither do I." She said, then she pushed him on the leather couch and sat on his legs. She bend and fastly unbuttoned his pants while he helped her dress up her tights. They helped each other do the same with their intimates before she finally bend again and helped him in.

She started making noises as soon as he thrust deeply and quickly, moved by the roleplay game they were doing. She looked up when he was entering her, and he weirdly noticed it. He didn't mind it but it was actually one of the few times she seemed to orgasm in a different way than usual. As if she was feeling his eyes on her, Blair looked down and smirked at him. He had no idea why, but it made him remember about one time in particular when she burst out an I_ love you_ while they were having a moment and weren't together.

She bend her back a little so she could kiss his neck, trying to stimulate him. He soon was not capable of watching her anymore as he lost himself in his own moment of pleasure that he still hadn't been able to let out via his voice.

The couple kept going on for a while until they both fixed their clothes and ordered some drinks. For some reason, after they drunk their glasses Blair suggested him to go saying that it was too late for her. He loved that she was still playing, it was amusing.

Actually it wasn't that late, it was barely after 1am and he still wanted the night to continue for a while. He hoped that she had another location to visit with him.

The two sat down in the limo a while later and they both were a bit exhausted. Blair put her head on his shoulder and he circled her with his arm. "Thankfully no one caught us, Bass. We were lucky."

"If this you can call it luck" he murmured.

She slapped his leg. "You should appreciate what you get more. You are so rude."

He rolled his eyes and removed the arm from her back. "You are ungrateful. I've given you the best sex you ever had since you were born. I bet Nate isn't as good as me."

"Actually, he's better than you." She shrugged and pretended to be offended.

He made a face and then pulled her towards him so he could kiss her. Blair did not recoil like she had wanted to do to keep playing that game. She didn't want to stop that kiss just to pretend she still was her old teenager self. She was enjoying it too much.

Chuck kept kissing her until he abruptly stopped, leaving her breathless. "Were you saying? Nate is better than me?"

She sighed and disentangled herself from his arms and she suddenly started to laugh. "I guess that was too much for your patience."

"Not really. I was just playing my part. I think my seventeen year old self would have minded that. Although when I was a teen I tried not to show many emotions when I was with you. Hell, sometimes I couldn't stand that you confused me."

"What do you mean I upset you?" she frowned.

"I thought the reason why I wanted to be with you and have you every day, was purely superficial and momentary. You made me confused. I felt emotions I never tasted before, and it scared me. After you broke our meetings I realized that maybe I didn't just like you. I loved you. That scared me too and made me run away."

She smiled. "I'm happy you didn't kill those butterflies after all."

He looked away, a bit shy. "Yeah."

Blair gave him a kiss on his cheek and then she opened her door. He didn't notice that the limo had stopped and they weren't in front of their building.

Chuck tried to go out of the car and help her out before she could, but he arrived late. She was already waiting on the other side, next to a balcony. He walked toward her and wrapped his arms around her body.

"Now I got why you took me to that club so far from home" he commented.

"Someone suggested me to come here just to see the city from afar. Is pretty good, isn't it?"

"It's beautiful. Thank you for taking me here. And thank you for well, everything."

"You don't need to thank me, Chuck" she answered. "You know why I did it."

He nodded and tried to turn her so that they would be face to face. Blair seemed taken off guard when he did so and then he hugged her tightly. She didn't know why he was doing that but she loved the moment. Maybe it was his personal demonstration of being thankful.

They were both tired when they got back to their penthouse. It was late night and the only thing they wanted to do once upstairs, would be sleep after the nice day they had had. He was glad the date with Blair had distracted him, and she was happy that it had worked.

They sneaked in their house calmly, hoping that Serena wouldn't be in the living room still.

"I hope that Serena is sleeping in the guest room and Lexie is in her crib. I would never forgive her if we find she and Carter still awake with the baby!" Blair complained.

"They are not here downstairs, I think they are definitely sleeping in one of the rooms."

"Let's go check on the baby first" Blair said, almost running to Lexie's nursery.

As he said, the baby was asleep in her crib. The covers were pulled on her and she seemed to be okay and not hurt. Blair could say she was happy of this. Not that she didn't trust Serena, but knowing that Carter would be here made her doubt that her best friend would only focus on their little child.

"Okay, thank God Lexie is still intact. I don't want to wake Serena up so I think it's better if we go to our room now" she suggested and Chuck nodded.

Blair sat on their bed when they got back to their bedroom so she could kick off he heels. Her feet hurt so much because she had had her pumps on for long. She would love to have a relaxing pedicure before sleep, but she realized it was too late for one.

Chuck decided to get undressed and he quickly changed into his pajama. "I'm so tired" he told her. "But this night was really worth."

"Did you have fun?" she asked as she looked for her nightgown.

"It was a while I hadn't felt so young. Not that right now I'm old. But you know, as a teen. Now I realize how much I have changed my behavior since then. Sometimes... I miss it."

She shrugged. "You changed into a better man, Chuck. I've fallen in love with you when you were the man you pretended to be tonight and I saw you evolve into the man you are now. When I think about it, I am convinced it was worth waiting for you few years ago."

He smiled. "This means I was worth the money you gave to those guards at the club?"

"Absolutely."


	28. Anemone

Hi all! I know it's been so long that I've updated, but if you've read the other OS and short fic I've posted through the summer you've read about what happened to me in spring. I'm slowly trying to get a hang of the fanfics again, hoping to use writing as a distraction. I really hope this long chapter will make it up for my absence and I hope you'll tell me what do you think. - T

...

After the successful night, Blair decided to make the event a weekly habit. She and Chuck decided a day that would be fine for the both of them and for the friends or family that would have to babysit their baby. It was usually a Wednesday, when clubs weren't full of people and above all Serena or Nate weren't busy.

Their best friends were the babysitters Blair always called first. They seemed to be reliable, and Lexie seemed to love being in their company. Whenever they would get back home and check on the baby, she would look cheerful and content, as if she had had real fun.

She was sure that with a guy like Nate she would have fun and with a girl like Serena she would feel admired the way she should. Nate and Serena were young and funny souls, and it was impossible for anybody not to get along with them.

The first Wednesday of May, they left their baby with the blue eyed guy. Nate had looked so caring to Blair. They had got back earlier than planned because she had said she had a problem, and they had found Nate playing with Lexie like a little child. He said sweet words to her and Blair couldn't believe her ears. Of course Nate had kind of denied after he was caught, but Blair found that cute too.

One week after, it had been Serena's turn. As every other week, she had taken Carter with her. They were like glue, he followed her everywhere. It seemed as if he didn't mind to babysit a Bass. According to Chuck, Carter had been captured by Alexandra when he first saw her at the hospital few months before and he had complimented him about her beauty.

Blair really hoped Carter wasn't a werewolf and that he wouldn't fall in love with her daughter and that and he wouldn't ask them to be her fiancé when she would grow up. She wanted him to remain with her best friend.

Carter had been very attentive with Serena. After she had lost their baby around Valentine's Day, he hadn't left town for longer periods so that he could be with her. He had seemed very dedicated to her and Serena seemed really happy to be with him.

Blair thought the only time she saw her best friend so happy was when she was with Nate, years before. This made Blair really joyful, because she didn't think anybody could ever substitute Nate in her best friend's heart – or Dan, for that matter.

Serena's good mood pleased Blair also because at the moment she needed her best friend so badly. She had a task for her that she couldn't fulfill, and she knew she would do a good job.

Blair waited patiently in the kitchen for Serena to come down to have breakfast on the day after she babysat Alexandra. She had spent the night in one of their guest rooms with Carter, and they usually came down early to have something to eat because he had to leave to go to work. They loved to spend moments at their penthouse.

She took something from the bowl and sighed with annoyance while she was waiting. That day her best friend seemed late for some reason, and she would be late for work too if she wouldn't leave in half a hour. When Serena finally entered the kitchen with her robe on, Blair sighed but with relief. "Thank Goddess you're here. I need you."

Serena yawned. "Good morning to you too, Blair. You're up this early? I thought you and Chuck would lay in bed till ten and cuddle."

"How do you know what we do on our free day? Today is an exception, by the way. I need to go to the Palace to meet a new associate for a project. That's why I'm up earlier than usual."

"A project? That's your first, B? I'm sure you'll do great" Serena commented.

She nodded, conceited. "Yes, I know. I've been waiting for this person to come for a few days, and now we're going to work together. I'll do something I've never done... I feel excited and scared. And by the way Chuck doesn't know about this."

"What? How come he doesn't know? Isn't he the assistant manager?"

"He is. But he's busy now. We agreed that we won't leave Lexie alone if not necessary. I know that I should take time for myself so I can do my things, but I don't want to leave her to nannies. Chuck offered to look after her when I have to work and he doesn't."

Serena smiled. "That's so sweet. I bet he's sleeping right now? I've heard you last night. You weren't exactly sober."

"You were probably too tired to even remember it, S. We rarely get drunk. We're supposed to be minors on our teenagers day." She shrugged and took something from a bowl.

"Yeah, right. Then I was drunk too when I heard you screaming his name with a silly voice. We both know you used to drink more then than now."

Blair looked away. "Okay. We were a bit dizzy. Since I'm not breastfeeding anymore I thought I needed few drinks to remember myself how a drink tasted. I've only had champagne when I was pregnant, and not even a lot of it. I couldn't risk."

"It's good that you don't have to be afraid to infect the milk of the baby with alcohol anymore. Imagine how she'd grow up" Serena giggled.

She nodded. "A great liberation, if you ask me. But I'm on edge now, because I think I have an hangover. I think we drank too much" she bit her lip. "My ovaries made me drink too much."

Serena patted her friends' shoulder. "Come on, it's not bad! You're just happy you can drink again. You should thank your ovaries. You seem happier."

"Thank them? They've ruined my night!"

She was confused. "What about them? I thought you already had your period after you gave birth. Didn't you?"

"When you talk like that, you look like my doctor" she rolled her eyes. "And you are right. I did. And it destroyed my plans! For yesterday I had planned to go with Chuck somewhere exclusive where we could have our time – not that we don't have our time here, but with the baby and everything is hard to not be disturbed. But before we left the house I got my period and I didn't tell him, so I suggested to have a few drinks instead of doing what we had to and he seemed disappointed."

"You two have sex in second class clubs, B? I wasn't expecting that from you." Serena's face was made of fake disapproval. "And I don't think he'd be disappointed, you two live under the same roof. When you want to share a few moments of love you can if you're in the mood."

Blair blushed but tried to hide it. "Shh. It's not exactly like that. We made a deal, and this deal consists in planned sex or sort of. We decided we were going to be careful not to risk again. And we are a busy pair now. Do you think it's easy to do it with a baby sleeping in the room next to you? Half of the times we are interrupted by her crying."

Serena made a face. "I have no idea if this amuses me or not... you always had sex out of your house when you were in your teens, right? Now my sleep will be haunted." She pretended to be disturbed by the thought. "Why can't you just make it when Lexie is entertained by someone? She mustn't interrupt all the times."

"You can't really control the wishes of a baby. Most of the times we succeed it's when she is so tired out that she can't help but sleeping through the night. It's one in a million. Although the lack of sleep she's had in the latest weeks has helped me."

"Helped you? Please, don't tell me your turn on during sex or foreplay is the baby crying."

"What are you thinking! She is not. I'm _working_ with her. You know, next week is going to be Chuck's birthday and I want him to have the perfect gift. Alexandra is helping me when she isn't able to get back to sleep."

The blonde frowned. "Working? She is too young to even create something with her hands."

"You don't say. My project is a secret, and I'm trying to use all the time I have to prepare it. But I have a problem. I didn't have the time to actually finish my birthday gift. And that's when you come in."

"What should I do? I'm lost."

"I'm sure you'll be great for this role. You need to go and confirm the party I have organized. I'll give you the address – you can't be wrong."

"I should just... confirm the party? That's it? Can't you do it via phone?"

Blair pursed her lips. "They need a personal confirmation. Not only for the date, but for what will be served. I have another list of things to give you, the foods and the music and other small details that can't be missed."

"Mmmh, okay?" Serena bit her lip and went to pick something to eat.

"But you need to do everything as I say. This party will not only be for Chuck's birthday but also for the fifty years of the Palace and Bass Industries." She shrugged. "Well, that actually is the covering. He must not know that I have organized a party for him."

Serena nodded. "Gotcha."

"Good girl. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go because I have an appointment. Text me when you do me that favor! And before 2pm."

….

One hour later, Blair was sitting behind her desk waiting for the new associate. He wasn't late, but she felt on edge to wait for him. That would be her first meeting since she had been named the head of the Palace hotel. Not that she was afraid, but she had been busy preparing for Chuck's birthday that she had not given the right amount of time to this side project.

What concerned Chuck's gift was tiring her out. It wasn't something easy to achieve, but she told herself that she had to try harder every day so that she would get what she wanted. The results weren't great yet, but she still had less than a week to try.

When she was in her office, she usually took a moment to think about what it led her on that chair. She hadn't done anything in particular to get that position, she had just used her self control and urge to help who was being ill – or better pretended to be ill to test her. She wasn't sure if this new associate would act the same way, testing her. She had to be ready.

She really hoped that the person that she was waiting wouldn't act behind her back and start checking what she had done since she had started working again, because she hadn't done a lot. This would be the first project she was arranging as a boss and also as a creative designer.

This was the first chance she had to demonstrate herself and the world that Blair Waldorf could do that job and that she hadn't been recommended by anyone.

She started writing some random things on a notebook when a knock interrupted her. She put away the pen and the papers to turn towards the laptop and pretend she was using it. She kept pushing the buttons on the keyboard until the person on the other side entered.

She faked to unstuck her eyes off the laptop and looked at the man that had just got in.

A tall, dark blonde and with grey eyes man entered. Not exactly her type of man, but pleasant. He was wearing a blue suit and carried a little briefcase.

Blair remained astonished behind her desk and blinked once to wake up from her thoughts.

"You must be Miss Waldorf" he sort of whispered and got closer.

She managed to smile and offered her hand. And then she coughed. "Waldorf-Bass. In flesh and blood. And you are?"

He also smiled. "Daniel, Daniel Roe."

"Welcome to the Palace" she smiled with conviction, trying to look sure of herself. "I bet you already know the hotel."

He nodded; "of course I do. By its fame. But I've never actually stayed here before. It seems a nice environment though."

She leaned back in her chair, already having a good mood thanks to those few kind words. She didn't know why but this man looked so charming. She really wished he wouldn't use his charm to turn tables for their arrangement.

"Well, then. What we should discuss first?"

He cleared his voice and started to talk. "I think you should take in consideration what I'm about to tell you, Mrs Waldorf. I've come all the way from France for this."

"France? I thought the company was English."

He shook his head. "Company? Look, I think there is a mistake here."

Blair frowned, rather confused. "I'm not in the mood for jokes, Mr Roe. I thought you wanted to talk about our plans for this hotel." She said, hopefully not passing as the one at fault here. She had studied this case and she was sure the company member with whom she talked to, wasn't French at all. "And your British hotel for that matter."

He shook his head again, almost consternated. "I'm... not part of company, Mrs Bass. I just am the lawyer."

She bit her lip. "I see. This changes things" she said as she wondered why the future associate decided to send a lawyer instead of himself to talk about their hotels. "Then please explain what you have in mind and we'll talk about the project."

"Of course. I'm glad you already seem enlightened by it. There are big plans for you, very big plans."

"This makes me happy. I think that if our hotels should collaborate, we should approve each other's ideas very openly. Don't you think?" Blair asked, trying to be persuasive.

The man seemed confused again. "Mmmh, yes. You mean you and your mother's? I bet she'll be very delighted to know that you approve of the plans."

"What my mother has to do with this?" she wondered, rather upset. "And what she has to do with the English hotel? Who are you again?"

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I think we are again confusing things here. I thought you understood I came here representing your mother. I'm her French lawyer" he explained.

Blair could see clearer now, or almost. "Why did you come here on her behalf?"

"Your mother told me she was busy at the moment to talk vis-a-vis, so she pushed me to talk to you before she would come and explain what she has in mind for you." He said, trying to look for some papers in his briefcase. "She told me to tell you that she's really happy to give you this opportunity. She feels like you deserve it."

She raised an eyebrow. "Which... kind of opportunity?"

"The great opportunity to own everything. She wants to resign and since you're her only daughter, she prepared some papers -"

"You're telling me my mother wants me to take over her company?"

….

_Everything done and in time!  
>S – xo<em>

Blair received Serena's text after she finished her lunch and it made her smile delightfully. At least one of the tasks for the day – her supposed free day – had been done. The second task, the one she thought was the hardest to do, hadn't even happened because of a misunderstanding.

She had been very confused. Very, very, confused. After her mother's lawyer had left, she understood that he was the 'company member' she had to meet and that there wasn't anybody English who owned a hotel overseas that would make plans with her.

She had misunderstood everything. Every single detail of the call she had received few days before. She had hoped to arrange her first deal as a manager, while instead she was given the opportunity to take over a different place and situation.

She wanted to leave her office as soon as the lawyer left but she felt like she didn't want to run home and face Chuck. She wanted to decide for her future alone. She thought that with the job at the Palace she already had it all planned from now on, but this other offer baffled her.

She was angry at her mother for not telling her in the face or at least on the phone. She was the manager of her company after all. If she wanted her to take over, why not ring her to let her know?

Her rage and preoccupation didn't make her realize that someone was staring at her. She had to blink to realize it wasn't just her imagination. She pretended to put on her happy face and run to the little girl in the pram to kiss her cheek. "How did you get here, sweetie? Last time I checked you couldn't walk."

When she spoke, he came in sight and their eyes met. For some reasons, he looked quite handsome that afternoon. It didn't matter that she wanted to avoid talking about what had just happened at work and her nonexistent deal, it was always a pleasure seeing him.

"You didn't come for lunch so I thought I'd find you here... you alright?" he asked.

She bit her lip and let her daughter play with her hand. "I've had till few minutes ago. I'm sorry if I didn't make it for lunch. I can make it up later" she winked at him.

"No worries about that" he walked to her and kissed her cheek swiftly. "Your daughter missed you. She's been saying _mo_ the whole day."

"She knows how to spell mom? I didn't know that. That's great. But I wished he'd say dad first" she tried to change the subject.

He shrugged. "Mom is easier. She already knows how to pronounce those syllables. I think it's too early for her to call me" he giggled.

Blair faked to act dumb and focused on her baby again. "You were missing me, huh? How nice of you. I've been missing you too! I hate that I had to work on my free day."

She took her in her arms and gave her a kiss on her forehead. Chuck was looking at her suspecting that something was wrong, so she hoped she was at least being credible trying to look tired and just wanting to greet her little daughter.

"I've been meaning to ask... why did you? You seemed in a rush yesterday when I asked you about it. I know you're hard-working, but even Blair Waldorf doesn't say no to a day with her family" he commented.

She managed a smile, "I should be honest with you, Chuck." She bit her lip, making him frown. "I had to see someone. That's the only reason why I came to work today."

"Someone? Should I be worried?"

She gave him a quick pat on his shoulder. "Of course not, silly. It was meant to be a surprise for tonight, but... well I've done my first job as the manager of this hotel" she lied.

He smiled proudly, which made her bit her lip again because of the lie she had just told him. "That's great. I was sure you'd start to get used to this place and its duties very soon."

"Yeah, that's true. I really love working here. But you should fire the secretary."

"What's wrong with her?" he wondered.

"She still calls me Miss Waldorf!" she complained, making her baby turn on the last syllable.

Chuck put a hand on his forehead and laughed. "I think we better head home."

….

Once back to their penthouse, Blair and Chuck found Serena waiting for them in the foyer. The girl looked quite upset by the looks on her face.

"Serena, I thought you would leave after lunch" she said. "Not that I want you to leave, but..." she couldn't finish her phrase that her best friend jumped off the couch and went to hug her.

Chuck was pushing the stroller inside the penthouse with a worried face. He had actually seen his stepsister really giddy few hours before, she seemed excited for something. He couldn't think what or who could be hurting Serena right now, although he guessed.

"Calm down, S" Blair tried to shush her friend by making her sit back on their couch.

Serena's eyes filled with tears and she was crying and shaking. She seemed really upset. She was holding on Blair's shoulders as on to dear life. Seeing her cry like that was making Chuck uneasy so he well decided to leave and take the baby upstairs.

Serena seemed to free herself of her burden when she heard Chuck climbing the stairs. Maybe she just needed privacy. "I hate him, Blair" she cried.

"Hate who? Don't tell me it's Carter's fault that I'm gonna -"

"I went to run your errand, Blair, I went to that fancy place you wanted me to confirm for Chuck's birthday party" she started to explain soon and Blair thanked God that she had waited Chuck to be upstairs to mention her mission. "I did everything you asked to me and then – and then, then I saw them."

Blair frowned, Serena was making her feel anxious. "Who did you see?"

"Carter. Carter, I saw Carter. Carter and a blonde. Do you understand, B, Carter and a random bimbo. Carter and a random slut" she kept crying.

She shook her head in disapproval. "Oh my, I knew it! I knew he was going to break your heart, that damn Carter Baizen! I could strangle him with him own hands if you'd like."

"I loved him, Blair. I really loved him. I thought he was the right one to live my life with, he made me – he made me so happy, so lively, made me have the best time in my life. I've never felt this way" she explained to her best friend with teary eyes.

"I know, sweetie. I know" Blair tried to comfort her as she caressed her back. "He doesn't deserve you. He's an asshole. You should just insult him right now, using the worst words."

Serena hold on Blair's jacket tightly. "It's too hard, it's too hard. My mind is blurred by the love I feel for him. How can I ever insult him?" she asked and recoiled back when she did. Her face was a mess and she looked so tired.

"Believe me, it helps. When I used to be so mad at Chuck because he hurt me, I used to make up the weirdest nicknames. Why don't you try it too, making fun always helps."

She shook her head, "It's not that easy, B. Imagine if the man of your life did that to you, how would you react?"

Blair tried to find the right words for that answer. "I know how would I react. I'd kill him if it wasn't illegal or either I'd send him bankrupt."

"Can't we do that?" she asked sheepishly.

"What, kill Carter?"

Serena smiled briefly. "No, no. Bankrupt him."

"I think that's too much even for Carter, S. Unless you want Chuck to make his business life a hell. He has many friends who would help" Blair laughed evilly, thinking about it in her mind.

"No no" Serena had a sudden change of mind. "That's too cruel even for me."

"Alright, alright. Sorry, that was too much" she shrugged. "But it made you laugh."

Serena and Blair kept talking and the brunette succeeded in changing the subject after a couple of minutes, trying to make her best friend think about other stuff. She suggested they watched a movie and ate popcorn in front of TV like old times and Serena accepted gratefully. She was in the mood for some old Hollywood classic and to a quiet afternoon and evening.

Chuck came to check on them two times, once alone and another time with the baby. He just said that he needed something from the living room, but Blair was sure that he was also coming to check if Serena was alright.

Serena smiled again to Blair's surprise and contentment after they finished their second film. It was almost dinner time and she didn't look ready to leave anytime soon. "I'm so sorry I showed up like this. I know you wanted to spend your free day with your family."

"Well, you are part of my family" Blair grinned, and then she hugged her best friend.

"Thank you, Blair. You managed me to distract me."

"Shush, no thank yous. Remember that I love you. And after today I love you more because of what you did for me" she winked at her friend knowingly.

Serena winked back. "Anytime. I'm sure that event is gonna be great."

…

Blair found Chuck upstairs when Serena left at midnight. Their baby was perfectly safe and sound and was fast sleep in her crib when she checked, while her husband was on his side on the big bed of their bedroom with his arms crossed behind his head. He looked asleep from afar because of the dim lights, but he wasn't.

"Did Serena leave?" he wondered.

Blair started getting undressed before she answered. "Yep. She said she was going to Lily's to sleep and tomorrow she'll face things."

"Baizen problems again?"

She nodded. "That piece of work, I hate him. He managed to hurt Serena for the, what – third time in a couple of years? He should be castrated."

"I'm sorry for her but anyway, it was expected. A tiger can't change her stripes" he reasoned.

Blair seemed to disagree. "Not all tigers, maybe."

"Maybe I wasn't a tiger" he smirked from the bed.

"You are a panther" Blair stated, finding her nightgown in a drawer and putting it on before jumping on the bed next to him and under the sheets.

Chuck allowed her to put her head on his chest and to be pulled in a half hug. He looked like her big teddy bear in a sort of cheesy way. She loved to hug him like that, to make him feel she was _close_. The warmth of his body was a blessing and she adored to live that life day after day.

"I'm sorry for today" Blair said after a long silence. She hoped he hadn't drifted off to sleep.

He cleared his voice before he talked. "Sorry for what?"

"Well for going to work on my free day and spending the rest of it with my best friend instead that with you and Alexandra" she explained.

"We still have your free day next week, Blair. I surely won't hold a grudge against you because you decide not to stay with me. You have a life besides me and our baby" he said.

Blair smiled in the dark, "I'll make it up to you for this missed day, I promise" she told him as she started to think about the last details for his birthday party.

"Can I ask you something, Blair?"

"Of course."

He took a breath before he spoke. "Why did the associates want to meet you on your free day? Not that I'm wondering too much, but it's just weird to have meetings at the end of the week."

Blair bit her lip. It was truth time, she guessed. "I didn't tell you the whole truth earlier" she started to explain. "I didn't meet any new person to help the hotel today."

"What do you mean? Did they not come?" he asked.

"No. Someone indeed did come. It just wasn't... someone I expected."

Chuck frowned with curiosity in the dark of the room. "Don't tell me -" he was quickly cut off.

"Chuck, my mother wants me to take over her company. She wants to give me Waldorf Designs and she sent a lawyer to tell me today."

"What?" Chuck questioned, standing sit on the bed and making her fall from his chest.

She lighted up the lamp on the nightstand so that she could see his expression. "Today my mother's lawyer showed up at my office to give me some papers. I thought he was one of the associates from Britain when he introduced himself, then he dropped that bomb on me."

"Well, that's... a pretty big bomb to say at least" he commented.

"I think it has nothing pretty."

"Why are you saying this? Your mother is giving you a great opportunity, you can inherit her company." He said, matter-of-factly.

She glared at him in confusion. "If you recall, I already got a job. I've started it recently, but this doesn't mean I should quit it because my mom offers me to run _her_ company."

"You can always run both, Blair. I wouldn't say it's easy, but it can be that easy. I could help you getting the hang of that, if you'd like" he offered.

"You're not helping me by saying this. I need to make a choice, I can't be greedy and get both jobs. And I have already less time by being the head of the Palace alone, imagine if I also had to run a fashion company. You'd see me even less than you saw me today."

He nodded and sighed. "I don't know, Blair. The choice is up to you."

"Sadly" she seemed depressed about it. "I think I might as well sleep on it."

"Yeah, I think that's a good idea" he agreed.

Blair turned off the lamp on the nightstand and adjusted under the sheets. She hoped that she would dream the answer to her riddle because at the moment she didn't know what to decide. It hadn't been hard accepting the job at the Palace, but choosing between that good position and another at an entirely different environment wasn't the same.

She thought that the job at Waldorf Designs had some pros, though. She would be the boss, hence she could work at home. That was for sure something that would benefit her family life when she reasoned about it.

….

The following morning Blair received a special visit.

"M-mom...?" she asked when she saw her mother sitting on the couch of their living room.

Eleanor Waldorf smiled widely and reached her daughter to greet her. "It's been so long since my last visit... it's refreshing to get back to New York."

"What are you doing here?" she asked with a bitter tone.

"Aren't you happy to see your mother, Blair? Come on, give me a hug" she suggested and took the initiative and put her arms around her daughter.

Blair glared at her. Better to say the things she needed to say quickly to get over with. "Don't act like this! Don't like things are going fine, mother!"

Eleanor seemed confused. "What are you talking about, sweetie? If it's about my proposal to you, I came here to explain things."

"Don't you know I have already a job?"

"Of course I do. And it's an amazing job. But does it suit you? Didn't you want to work in the marketing when you were a child? You'd be great for Waldorf Designs, Blair" she explained.

This made things harder for indecisive Blair. "Maybe when I was eleven and I saw daddy working in his office, but now I don't think I want" she answered with a certain insecurity in her voice. "I've really been enjoying working at the Palace. Running a hotel may not be easy, but I'm getting used to it."

"I know, and like I said the Palace Hotel is a great deal, but isn't that boring? Checking on the guests, making sure everything is on place..."

"Mom, if you recall I'm a perfectionist."

Eleanor nodded, "Yes. And that's why I want you to be the manager of my company, Blair. Because you are the best of the best. Think about it, even Alexandra may inherit Waldorf Designs one day. What if your little one wants to become a designer?"

Blair sighed. Her mother wasn't wrong but it was confusing her more. "She's too young to even walk by herself, mother. It's too early to think about her future. And by the way she has a future, she'll inherit Bass Industries when she grows up."

Her mother giggled. "Oh sweetie, don't get me wrong for what I'm telling you right now, but why should you just think about Charles' part? After all he did the same with his company, didn't he? I feel offended."

"Let me clear something for you, mom. It's not that I don't want your company, it's just that I already have a job, and a good one" she repeated.

"Well you do. You are the head of the Palace who is owned by your husband who also is your vice. Isn't that family business?" she asked with a mocking tone.

Blair glared at her with anger. She hated when people made her notice that, as if it wasn't enough. "I did not get that job because I married Chuck. I wasn't given the opportunity because God – I'm lucky I'm the wife of a billionaire. I was chosen for the job because of my qualities, my character. I was not recommended."

Eleanor shook her head and smiled. Blair didn't know why but she felt as if she was about to say something rude to her. She hoped she wouldn't ruin her day. "Blair, dear. You know that I've always told you how great you were when you were younger. And how great you are and you'll be. But there is still something you need to learn on your way."

"Stop it! You're trying to brainwash me to drop my job!"

"Brainwash you? I hoped that such thing would fail by itself, but you only proved you were good enough to run my company without any help" she explained with nonchalance.

Blair couldn't understand. "What do you mean with this, mother?"

Her mother shrugged, "Just that... with a few calls and friends on the high spots of Manhattan's finest, you can do anything."

"W-what? This can't be... this isn't real. This isn't true" she tried to say, but her throat seemed dry soon and she couldn't manage to talk properly. "The woman who did the inspection saw me doing my duties and gave me this job. She did it!"

"Well she is one of Cyrus' old friends for that matter. She casually talked to him before she checked on the hotel and he told her you were his daughter in law, so she wondered if she could do something for him and I suggested a job offer for you" she said.

She couldn't find the words to express how she was feeling. She just wanted to go upstairs and cry until she wouldn't have any more tears. "This means... she just chose me because I was your daughter. She simply overlooked what I had to offer."

"Blair, what could you offer at that time? You were six months pregnant and couldn't work anyway. You needed back up."

"I didn't need anything, mother!" Blair fumed, trying to let out all of her rage. "If any, I didn't even need the job at the Palace! I know I'm good, I could've found something after the maternity leave was done! I didn't need your help!"

Eleanor seemed annoyed and put out. "It's hard to find a job today, even for Blair Waldorf."

"That's the stupidest excuse I've ever heard" she sighed with rage, trying not to raise her voice too much.

"Look Blair, you know I did it for you and for your future."

"Didn't Waldorf Designs have to be my damn future? You could've offered the company to me back then instead of now. I would've said yes!" She exclaimed, pretty enraged. "And my future it's not your business. I am a wife and a mother now, I think I can take care of myself."

She shook her head. "I wasn't thinking about resigning one year ago."

Blair shook her head back and clenched her fist. She was so mad that she wasn't sure she could keep up for another five minutes of conversation. "You need to leave right now, mother. And if you don't want to, I'll call Chuck so they can escort you outside." She ordered with a severe tone.

Her mother didn't have to hear her say it twice, she took her handbag and coat and put them on. Before she left she just said one last phrase. "One last thing. Charles has nothing to do with this mess me and Cyrus made."

"I don't need you to know. Chuck hasn't been the bad wolf for a while, unlike somebody else."

Eleanor sighed and looked down before she disappeared in the elevator.

Blair had to sit down for a moment after that fight. She couldn't believe her ears and what her mother had told her. She couldn't bear that she had been accepted at the Palace because Cyrus was a friend of that woman who faked she was ill.

She took a deep breath and then decided to go upstairs. It was still early morning for Chuck and the baby to be awake, he wouldn't be going to work because it was the week-end and she was sure he would spend half of the day in bed.

She really didn't want to bother him on his free day, but she felt support right now and she knew he wouldn't mind if he woke up earlier than usual.

Blair kicked off her heels and went on the bed next to him. He was asleep on his side with the face towards the window. She moved closer to him and hugged him from behind, placing her hand on his chest, making him move after a few seconds.

She thought it would take longer to wake him up, but Chuck surprised her. He turned towards her and smiled in his sleep, his eyes half open and not ready yet to see her. She tried to smile at him and waited for him to open his eyes.

"Blair..." he greeted her with a harsh and sleepy voice. She tried to make a bigger smile but she couldn't do it. While trying to move the muscles of her lips, the tears started flowing on her cheeks. He was soon alarmed and finally woke up. "What's wrong?"

She sighed, "I don't want to go to work today" she cried like a little child.

"Then don't. You're the boss there, you can take a vacation if you want." he suggested. If only he knew the real reason... "There's no need to cry" he continued and tried to wipe a tear.

"I hate my mother" she continued, her tone more melodramatic.

He frowned. "Because of her offer?"

She nodded. "She was here few minutes ago."

"Eleanor was here? Good grief I missed her then. If she made you angry to the point to cry" he shook his head. He didn't like when Blair's mother put her down. "What did she say now?"

Blair couldn't help but cry more. "She's a bitch, Chuck. A big bitch. I hate her and my job, I hate everything."

"Calm down, what did she say to make you loathe your job now? Is it about Waldorf Designs again? Did you make a decision, perhaps?" he wondered.

She shook her head. "I don't think I'll ever want to take her company" she commented, "I don't want to take the company of a woman who pays other people to do her husband a favor."

"I'm not following."

She looked down. "I was recommended, Chuck. Understand? Recommended. Who could've believed I would climb the business stairs so fast? No one besides me! It was too good to be true" she said as she mixed words with tears.

Chuck put a hand on her cheek. "Did she really do that? Oh God, of all the stupid things your mother could do, she did the most offensive."

"That's right, she offended my ego this way. I actually feel worthless right now."

He kissed her on the lips and pulled her in a hug, "You're not worthless, Blair. You're better than many people out there and you're doing your job right at the Palace. And if your mother thinks it differently, she can go to hell, no offense."

She sighed. "I don't want to see her anymore."

….

"Thank you for going out with me" she told Chuck while they were walking around their neighborhood.

Chuck was pushing the stroller and smiled when he looked at her. "Anytime" he commented.

Blair nodded and looked away, paying attention to the asphalt for a second. "My mother insisted that I should take her company because this way Alexandra has a future."

"That's not entirely untrue, Blair."

"I know, but she was obsessed that without Waldorf Designs, she'd be done for. As if she doesn't have a future!"

"When our baby grows up, she'll inherit Bass Industries and all the best hotels of New York city. What else is needed? Not to discard your mother's company, but this is more than enough for a person. It is a lot even for me" he said.

She sighed and kept thinking about Waldorf Designs. "That's what I said, that Lexie has a bright future ahead of her. But she said that she should be free to choose when she grows up. She might want to become a fashion designer, mother thinks."

Chuck turned to her and frowned. "But if she's still barely able to sit without support" he shook his head. "She's too young to choose what she wants to do with her life."

"It's not even that at this point. She just wants me to drop my job at the Palace and be in charge of her business and threatened me with the recommendation."

"If you think about it, she's not totally wrong" he said, but Blair shot a glare at him. "If you don't take her company, someone else will and may not be a person of your family since you don't have siblings. Maybe your mother doesn't want that it goes to another person."

She looked at him for a moment then reasoned about it. "Ugh, I hate you, Bass."

He rolled his eyes and smiled. "Would you hate me more if I now was honest with you?"

She frowned. "It depends on the topic."

"I think you should accept Waldorf Designs" he suggested, looking at the street while he pushed the stroller. "Not to make your mother win. But to show her you can carry on with the name and you can be more successful than her."

"What about the Palace? If someone finds out what my mother did, I'll be ruined! Everyone will think that I got the position because I married you and that I am privileged."

"People are bound to think that. They also thought it about me when I inherited the company" he said. "But then I showed I knew how to do my job and they accepted me."

She sighed and stopped once they arrived next to a boutique who sold baby clothes, "I haven't been working for long, Chuck. It's too early to say that the staff accepted me, and I honestly feel out of place sometimes."

"Well then if you do... you have your answer" he said as he pushed the stroller with Alexandra inside the boutique.

Blair looked at him confused even more and then decided to drop the argument and follow him and the baby inside.

….

Blair thought that in the end Chuck was right. If she really wanted to avoid criticism from the staff at the Palace, she might as well stop working there and take over Waldorf Designs as an excuse. It would be perfect, no one would suspect what lied behind that action.

As the day passed, she decided she would try to finish all the preparations for Chuck's birthday party first and then resign from her job at the Palace hotel. It wasn't an easy decision to make. It meant giving up easily for her, but at the same time she thought not every hotel manager remains at the same place forever, nor would he or she justify why he was leaving.

She tried to reassure herself that she was doing that for her best and that things would be alright when she would inherit her mother's company. At least the talk about how she got the company because she was Eleanor's daughter wouldn't annoy her.

The day of Chuck's twenty-third birthday finally arrived, between all of the stuff she had been dealing within the last few days.

Say that she was excited was an understatement. Blair was really proud of all the preparations she had made. Every thing was ready for the night and she hoped that her gift would also please him. She had spent weeks arranging it and she was sure to succeed.

Blair found Chuck and their baby in the kitchen when she got back from work that day. He was preparing her lunch and talking to her about random things as if she could understand him.

"There you are" she said, entering the room. Chuck looked up from what he was doing and Lexie started mumbling some random syllables. "You're eating earlier than usual" she noticed.

"And you're here earlier than usual" he commented, as Blair reached him and kissed his cheek and did the same with their daughter.

Blair shrugged her shoulders and started to strip down of her bag and jacket. "I've prepared the documents for my resignation" she informed him. "They'll be ready for tomorrow. My mother's lawyer came by and told me that by the end of the month I can take over my mother's company."

"You're finally resigning for the job?" he said. "Are you okay about it?" he wondered as Blair frowned while looking at Alexandra.

She glared at him, almost annoyed. "Stop making me reconsider my decision, I beg you" she said as she turned back to her daughter to help her eat her lunch. "I'm done with the Palace. The job as a manager was the best of the best but I'd rather have my reputation safe than be seen just as _the boss' wife_."

"You know that you're much more than that."

She sighed. "Maybe for you... how about the rest of the world?"

He put a hand on her shoulder. "I'm sure I'm not the only one who finds you amazing. You're a great woman, Blair. Not only a good mother, but also a good worker. And I'm sure that for the brief time you've been at the Palace people have seen that."

She looked away, still holding the spoon with baby food for Lexie. She hesitated before she gave it to her. "I really hope this doesn't turn into a scandal" she commented, looking scared. Of all the things she disliked, one was being taken for granted because of the gossip.

"It won't" he told her firmly. "And if by any chance, it does... we'll shut it down" he finished and winked at her with a grin.

Blair exchanged his smile with a bigger one. "I love you" she muttered.

He showed his appreciation with a quick kiss on the lips. "Not more than I do."

She made a giggle and grinned again. "And happy birthday" she said, she had almost forgotten to tell him that.

"You remembered?" he looked surprised. Not that he didn't trust Blair's memory, but he didn't think his birthday was too important to remember. It was just a birthday in the end.

Blair made a funny face, "Silly, how could I ever forget?"

Chuck gave her another kiss on the lips. This time he decided to make it last longer, but while they were in the middle of the best part, their baby started shouting and almost cried. They broke their contact and Blair got back to her, she still had to eat some of her food anyway.

"Mmmh, looks as if you're jealous. Yeah, Lexie?"

"Ma-da gu gu" the baby answered as she was trying to take the spoon from Blair's hand.

"Exactly like that, sweetie" Blair laughed as she and Chuck exchanged an intense glance.

….

"Should we really go to this dinner tonight?" Chuck asked as he was fixing his bowtie.

Blair bit her lip while she was trying to fix her hair. "Come on, Chuck. It will be my last dinner as the manager of the Palace! I better leave in a great style, you'll see."

He shrugged and was distracted by an incoming text. "Lily said she'll come to the dinner tonight" he said, "and she wishes me happy birthday too. Weird."

She turned to him and pretended she wasn't surprised. "What's weird about your mother sending you the best wishes? She was probably busy earlier and she possibly didn't have the time to do so."

"Not that she never sends any birthday wish to me, but she usually does it personally. She hates sending texts messages."

"Well, this time she decided to use technology. What's wrong with that?" she asked, particularly worried that he would get suspicious.

He sighed and left the room, headed to the bathroom to fix few other things of his outfit.

Blair sighed too but with relief. He was really good at finding out stuff she wanted to hide from him, surprises were mostly his thing and not hers. She hoped he would not find out anything until they would arrive there.

When she finished preparing, she checked on her daughter. Alexandra was with Dorota getting ready. The reason why their maid was there was that she had invited her to the party, and her husband and daughter and son would come too.

"Miss Lexie ready, Miss Blair."

"Thank you, Dorota. She's beautiful in her new dress, isn't she?"

Dorota smiled. "Miss Lexie resemble you and Mr Chuck's beauty. She's born to be pretty. And look, her curls growing fast!"

Blair touched the head of her baby and Alexandra looked up to smile at her. "It's true. I can't wait until they grow out so that we can play with them. Gladly for now I can't complain because I can still put headbands on her head."

"Lilac headband does contrast with baby's skin. So graceful."

Chuck cleared his throat few seconds later. He was next to the door frame and was carrying Blair's and Lexie's spring coats. "Are we ready to leave, girls?"

Dorota already had her coat on so she waited for Blair to wear hers and helped the baby with her little one, then the four of them finally left for the dinner party.

….

Dorota reached her husband and kids when they arrived at the location of the party, while Blair was holding her baby in her arms.

"Congratulations" few guests wished them on their way to the room with the tables.

Chuck would shake hands every once in a while and Blair would fake smiles as they met some of the wives of her husband's associates.

"She was totally going to find a flaw in my outfit and our daughter" she said of a woman in her fifties that would occasionally spread false rumors about her.

"Don't care about her" Chuck said. "She's just envious you are a beautiful and young woman while she has to use botox to appear more lively."

She sighed. "These people are even worse than gossip girl" she said, noticing Serena in the crowd. She was with her mother and with Rufus, she also spotted Dan Humphrey and a random girl she never saw next to them.

"I'm glad you all came" Chuck greeted them.

"We had to, Charles. We couldn't lose this occasion to celebrate Bass Industries. They're still a little mine, aren't them?" Lily said with a cheerful tone.

Chuck smiled. "Of course. So this means that you should feel tonight is also dedicated to you."

"Don't be silly. This is your night. You have the merit of taking the company where it is."

He looked away, almost embarrassed. He felt like this every time someone commented on his achievements with Bass Industries. Blair took his hand and squeezed it. The two exchanged a look and then he smiled at her.

"Now if you'll excuse us, we have to go greet some other guests" Blair said and took him away from his stepmother and half parents.

They went through the crowd to meet with other people who had come there. Blair was herself surprised that many of them had arrived, but at the same time she realized they came because after all the disguise of that party was that it was dedicated to Chuck's company.

The waiters were serving champagne and some hors d'oeuvres. She was pleased at the way they tasted and how the room had been organized.

"You look amused" he commented as they were sipping glasses of champagne. "Why?"

She grinned and shrugged. "It's nothing, really nothing."

He licked his lips thoughtfully. "Mmmh. We'll see" he said as he took his daughter in his arms. "We better reach our table because dinner is going to be served soon."

Blair nodded and she followed him to the table at the center of the room, where they sat down together with their baby who had her own baby chair.

Around them, there were different tables. The one in their proximity was Lily's, and Rufus and his son and his possible new girlfriend were sharing it. Serena was sitting there too. Blair looked in her direction and saw her best friend lifeless and lost in her thoughts. She looked like someone who wanted to be somewhere else. She decided she would go talk to her after the speech, she knew she was still depressed because of that playboy Carter.

The other tables behind them were occupied by some of Chuck's associates and their wives and some of Bart's old friends, who came there to remember him.

Chuck really looked in the dark as she watched every thing she planned, come to life. It was her dinner too after all, they were not only celebrating the company but also the hotel and it's over fifty years of existence.

Once they finished the delicious main course, music started. It wasn't usual dinner music, it was a modern track that Blair knew he liked.

"What? Isn't this -"

"Yes, it is!" she pretended not to know anything.

Chuck frowned. "I don't think this music is appropriate for this party at all, but I can't deny I like it."

She was pleased. "It's true. Isn't this one of your favorites?"

"You have a good memory" he complimented her, and they shared a joyful look.

After few other meals, it was time for Chuck to speak. He went on the platform in front of them where there was a microphone and everyone could see him.

He cleared his throat and then started talking about the industries and how much they've grown through the years thanks to his father, and how he could now continue making them grow better and greater. It was an usual speech, he was even annoyed that he had to say those words because they were the same every other year.

When he finished talking, people clapped their hands and he returned to his seat while Blair stood up and went to the platform for her speech. People silenced when she went there, eager to listen what she had to say.

"First of all, I wanted to thank you for being here. It is my first time as the manager of the Palace hotel and I wanted everything to be perfect. I haven't been working for long at this place but I know fine well that it had to have innovations. It is surely one of the most ancient buildings of New York..." she was saying, reading the piece of paper she had written before. "... and I think you appreciated it as much as me and my family do."

Blair continued with her speech as people were listening carefully to her. It seemed as if they were really interested in what she had to say and this made her feel less edgy because of all that was going on in her life lately.

She arrived to the crucial and final point of her speech until she was distracted by the noise. She kept reading but the people in the room wouldn't listen to her, they were indeed distracted by something else. Blair didn't know what it was until she raised her head from the paper and saw one hundred people staring at their mobile phones.

She looked at Chuck and his mouth was half open, he looked almost resigned and displeased. Then she noticed Lily and Rufus, both of them quite surprised and sorry as well. Serena was on the other hand looking at her plate, a little off. But Blair was really surprised by Dan's face, he was smiling, and it wasn't a random smile. He seemed pleased and proud.

What was going on?

She didn't know what to do, so Chuck came to her rescue. He reached her on the platform and excused them and suggested their guests to carry on with the dinner.

He escorted Blair to a balcony where she could cool her mind off. He then kissed her cheek and hugged her. She felt that it wasn't necessary to do that and so she recoiled back from his arms. "Those ungrateful people" she commented. "Damn Gossip Girl for stopping my speech!"

"I'm sorry, Blair" he said. "But I couldn't stop it."

She was confused. "Couldn't stop what? The blast? I don't care as long as it isn't about me."

"It was about you" he confessed her directly.

She opened her mouth and her heart started beating faster that she had to keep herself steady by putting a hand on the ledge. "Give me your phone" she ordered him, and he did as she asked.

_Oh oh oh. It looks as if it wasn't just fate that put Blair Waldorf all over the Palace. Our former Queen was discovered to have gotten the job of her dreams – and everyone's dreams; as a favor. You did not only take the richest man of NY, you also needed to become powerful on your own with his fortune, huh? Words tell me her loving-to-the-point-of-causing-diabetes-husband, has nothing to do with this. It was only mommy's fault. Well, what a loving mother you have, B. I wish mine would do the same for me. I'd own lots of buildings by now. Good luck finding your new employment, sweetie. xoxo_

She gave the phone back to Chuck and heaved a deep sigh. She felt drained and lost. She just wanted to go home and forget about this day and above all, she wanted to move on.

"Someone must have found out about this. I'm sure of it" she started guessing as she felt her heart speeding as the seconds passed. "I haven't told anybody!"

Chuck noticed that she was trembling and was having a hard time standing up, so he gently took her on a bench and put the jacket of his suit on her shoulders.

"My life is ruined now! Ruined. And I'm still so young, I'll be the laughing stock of everyone at the Palace Hotel from now on."

He put his arm on her shoulder and took her towards him so that she could put her head on his chest. "You won't. You are great, you don't have to prove anything to them."

She was crying now. When he looked up at him he felt hopeless. "You don't understand, Chuck. Those people will always judge me because I've been recommended by my mother. Taking Waldorf Designs will be another proof of that. I don't know what to do."

He caressed her head. "You will fight to demonstrate that that's not true. Damn, Blair, I've never seen a more hard-working person than you are. And those who dare to go against this statement are idiots. Same as the person who leaked this information to gossip girl."

"I'm going to murder him with my own hands" she cried.

"Him? Do you know who it is?"

"Of course not, but whoever it is... will get my revenge" she promised. "I can't believe anybody would do this on the day of your birthday after I planned this party to the last detail so that it would be perfect" she said with rage in her tone.

"I'm more worried for you than for my birthday party gone wrong" he said, wiping the tears on her cheeks.

She sighed and ordered herself to stop crying. "I feel enraged" she continued, looking at the beautiful landscape in front of them.

"You have every right to be. But see the bright light, you're going to resign from this job, aren't you? You won't have to see those people anymore and be afraid they'll judge you. But don't stop coming to the hotel for good. At the end of the day if you do this, they'll win. They'll think they can insult all of you want because you seem uncaring of their words and that you left this job because of your recommendation, which is not the case."

"What should I do then? There is no choice."

"You have a lot of choices. Like admit your parents were at fault. People will see you as a honest person and many of them will accept you telling the truth more than running away from the whole thing and avoid the press. I'll be by your side."

Blair thought about it for a second and then decided to stand up. "Alright, let's do this" she said as she offered Chuck her hand and they got back in the main room.

….

"How are you feeling?" he asked when they went back home.

She smiled and seemed calm. "I'm okay, thanks for asking."

Blair had gone back to the room full of guests to apologize. She had explained why she was leaving her job and that she didn't know anything about what happened. She just wanted to empty out her heart of that delusion her mother gave her, and most of the people in the room seemed to understand it. She was okay with how it turned out. Some of them also applauded.

"Good. I'm really happy in the end it all turned out well. Besides that incident, it was a great evening" he commented as he put his daughter on their bed so she could crawl.

Blair seemed pleased with that. "I'm sorry everything didn't go as planned, Chuck. I also had a cake for you but since we couldn't eat it, I asked them to take it here."

"You really didn't have to do that for me. I'm happy as I am. I just need you and the baby in my life... that is all" he said.

She grinned and went to kiss him. "I'm so glad that you are my husband. Not because you're Chuck Bass, but because you're the best man a woman would ever love to have as their partner for life. I'm happy you are mine and of all the women you could have had in New York, you've chosen me."

"Well I couldn't choose better."

She bit her lip and smirked, taking him on the bed next to their baby. "Since you've been so lovely to me tonight, it's time for me to give you your present."

"Blair, you didn't have to" he told her.

She took Alexandra in her arms and sat her on her lap. "I forgot! Lexie's gift comes first. Come on, Lexie. What's the present you got for daddy?"

Their baby looked at her with a lost expression, then focused on her father. Chuck extended his hand towards hers and the baby gripped her finger around one of his. "Da" she murmured.

"You're so sweet, princess. And daddy loves you" he said to the baby.

Alexandra raised her head to observe him and laughed. "Dada! Dada! Dada!"

"Uhm. What did she say? Is what I think it is?" he wondered, looking at Blair now.

His wife smiled and nodded.

"Dada dada dada!" the baby screamed, and he couldn't do anything else but taking her in his arms. "Daaaaa da."

He was literally speechless. It was all unexpected for him. "This is seriously the best gift I've ever got. Dada loves you baby" he kissed her head and the baby echoed the word for a while.


	29. Rosebud

"Blair, do you need help?"

"No, no. I'm fine. Five minutes and I'll be there." She answered Chuck an usual Sunday morning in the summer.

Chuck and Blair had gone to the Hamptons with their daughter to spend two months of vacation close to the ocean and the beach. Chuck's hope was to relax, but he could see his wife had done nothing but taking it easy.

Blair had finally accepted Waldorf Designs from her mother and she was super thrilled for her first collection to be presented in one week. She had been working hard to make everything look perfect and she wouldn't stop until she would have to sleep or eat or spend a little quality time with her husband and child, both so demanding at times.

He wasn't happy about this but he knew it was not easy to stop Blair from overwork herself. She was a Stakhanovite as much as he was, when they had to show the world they could do their job. And now, since Eleanor was so demanding too, Blair wanted to show her mother that she could do that and she didn't want to let her down.

"Come on, we've been waiting for half a hour, Blair. Lexie can't wait to put her little feet into the ocean" Chuck reminded her while he was waiting for his wife next the entrance door.

Blair bit her lip as she checked one last thing on her laptop. "I'm ready, I'm ready! Gimme just one minute and I'll be there, promise."

Chuck sighed while his daughter was burying her face on his shoulder and getting tired herself. She started to moan a little and babbling weird words after a while; she was really bored to wait for her mother and so was Chuck. "Mama mama" she kept repeating, and Chuck kept comforting her that her momma was going to come soon.

Finally, Blair descended the stairs to both Chuck's and Lexie's pleasure. She smiled at them when she locked eyes with her husband first and her daughter next, as she hurried to reach them so that they could leave their summer house.

"I'm sorry momma made you wait, sweetie" she petted her daughter's hair before she took her from Chuck's arms and gave her a kiss. "We can go now."

Chuck didn't add any more comments until they were in the limo that would take them to the closest shore.

"Don't tell me you've controlled the patterns again" he murmured, hoping she was hearing him between checking her phone multiple times and playing with Alexandra.

"I... haven't." Blair tried to reassure him, but she was aware he knew it wasn't true. "But what if I did? What's the wrong in that? I have finally something to do and I want to do it right."

"Yes, but today is Sunday. Plus, _we_ are on vacation" he tried to emphasize the we.

She tried not to look too annoyed by his constant reminder as she played with Lexie. "I have a presentation next week, Chuck. I require to control that my job is going strong as my mother expects it to be."

"You have all the reasons of this world to pay attention to your job, but today is a free day. All this Holiday should have been a whole enjoyment, but it will never be for you if you don't learn to have a moment to relax and another one to think about work."

Blair rolled her eyes in disappointment, she hated when he tried to instruct her about things. Above all when he repeated the words several times in a short span of time. "It's not my fault my mother decided to retire just in time the winter collection would have to be prepared."

"You could take breaks every once in a while. Sundays are the best for that" he told her as he noticed she was still looking at her phone to check for emails.

She avoided answering him because the limo had just stopped in front of the shore. She was sure he wasn't done talking about free time from work with her, she knew this was an argument he considered a lot because of his own experience. He had been a workaholic too once and she hadn't forgotten about it.

Arthur helped them take their beach stuff on the shore, then he left them to their privacy. Chuck had opened their beach umbrella and watched their baby while Blair set two big and colored towels where she could get some tan and she could play with Lexie if she wanted.

"The ocean is calm today, isn't it?" Chuck asked randomly to make conversation.

Blair gave a quick look behind her then she sat down on one of the towels with Lexie next to her. "Unless a storm doesn't come, it is" she glanced at him to see his expression.

He frowned and then took his shirt off so he would remain in his bath suit. "That's really difficult it will" he added. "I'm going for a swim. Are you coming?"

She didn't look so convinced of that. "I need to put suntan lotion on my body before I can come. You can take Lexie for now, I put lotion on her before you would wake up."

He nodded in agreement and lowered down to take the baby. "Alright. I'll meet you there."

Chuck and Alexandra left Blair alone with her lotion and went to the ocean. He kept his daughter securely in her arms so that she wouldn't fall in the water because they had forgotten about her lifebuoy today.

"Gee, this water is a little cold for daddy" he told Lexie when his feet touched the water. "But we'll get used to this. After all, it's a hot day. And I hope your mother realizes it too."

"Mama bada" Lexie said.

"Yes, mama will be surely a bad mama if she doesn't come" Chuck told the baby. "She's working too much, isn't she? And getting too tired. And for your mama, tedious work is like cancer. All of a sudden, she'll have to stop and getting a pause."

Alexandra was looking at her dad with attentive eyes although she couldn't understand much of what he was saying. He kissed her cheek and he kept walking until he could immerse them both in the water.

Lexie suddenly started patting the water with her tiny hands; she usually did this when they bathed her and it wasn't a surprise.

"Oh look here she is my little mermaid" he commented.

After a few minutes in the water playing, he decided it was time to get back to the shore.

He wasn't surprised that Blair was still there and she was talking on the phone with her assistant. He sighed at her when he arrived under their beach umbrella and took a robe to wrap Alexandra in it. When she was done with her call, she noticed Chuck and Lexie were now playing with the sand.

"The people I work with are so incompetent!" she complained. He didn't answer, just waited for her to continue, which she did. "They run out of cloths and now they have to stop."

"I wouldn't blame them, it's Sunday."

"You don't understand, they have to finish everything for next week! It will be so bad if they don't, everything will be wasted!"

He sighed and turned to their baby, they were building a castle. "It won't. Look, calm down, Blair. I'm sure your assistants will know what to do."

"It's so frustrating. If they fail, I will fail. And vice versa. It's like the circle of life."

"You need to distract. Come and play with us" he offered, but Blair shrugged at them.

"My head is exploding. I'll go for a swim first. Wait for me!" She said, then literally run to the ocean to have a dip.

…

The limo ride to get back to their house was really silent. Chuck had nothing to say and Blair probably had no words either because their child was sleeping and they probably didn't want her to wake up, or that was what she supposed.

Blair took the stroller where her daughter was sleeping onto when they arrived to their destination. He opened the door with the keys and then she got in, pushing Alexandra's stroller and taking her upstairs before he could say anything.

He thought she wanted to put her to bed until she would wake up – which he was sure would be soon; and then do the rest of her duties. Figuring she would take a while to do that, he decided to go take a shower before lunch.

He had had fun at the beach, he thought while he was getting undressed. Alexandra had fun playing with the sand and in the water, she had had fun eating on the beach towel.

She had also played with her mother for a couple of minutes and he was glad for that.

He kept washing his hair in the shower and thought about random things, when he felt a hand on his hip and turned. It was her, and she was completely naked already.

He didn't fully turn until she spoke, her voice was soft and sensual. "Can I join you?"

He smirked. "You don't need to ask."

Blair smiled back at him and then she threw herself under the water running. She purposely landed over him, letting her nipples touch his chest.

He threw is head back a little, sighing in response. That was unexpected to say at least. Not that they didn't have sexy times anymore, but they had not had many intercourses since the last time Blair thought she could have been pregnant again. Let's say they were cautious and planned some of their sex so they would have everything prepared to protect themselves.

She smirked at him and kissed him vehemently, the water was getting in their mouths as they moved their lips on each other. She grabbed his hair and moved her hand into the dark brown mass as she worked her tongue into his mouth.

He was no exception. His hand traveled up and down on her bare back, tasting the skin behind there fiercely, anxiously, taken by a force that was stronger than his: his hunger of her.

Blair closed the remaining space between their bodies by pushing her hips towards Chuck's intimacy. He was sure she was going to do something with her hands the moment she did that, and so he broke the kiss before she could do it.

"Blair" he gasped. "Blair, stop."

She wasn't stopping though. She tried to continue what she was doing but he crossed his arms to cover himself a little below the belt and she felt his rough upper arm on her nipple before she could realize it.

"Why did you stop? We were going great." Blair, complained with a disappointed expression.

"I stopped to prevent things from happening. Have you forgotten about our agreement?"

She looked annoyed of the reminder. "Of course I remember, Chuck. But a little tease won't hurt us."

"Yeah, it does not hurt us. But we can't always control ourselves and I can't always control _it_."

Blair giggled, she was amused by their talking. "I know the Chenis is a wild animal... but my Blagina can tame it" she winked at him.

He nodded. "She can... definitely help _it_. But we need to think about it first."

"Think about what? Chuck, you're making this moment lose its magic" she kissed him on his lips but he recoiled back and his lower back hit the tiles on the wall. She was super disturbed by his game. "What the hell is wrong with you?"

"If we have to do this, we need to protect ourselves."

"Your wallet is too far from here and we're already _wet_. Can we skip it this time?"

He looked away, a little thoughtful. He didn't know why he was being so picky, it's not that if she would get pregnant again, there would be something to object. But they had both decided that they would plan their second child, not to let their first not get the attentions she deserved.

"Risk, you mean?"

Blair rolled her eyes. "We won't be risking anything if you recoil back when it's the moment to do so" she shrugged. "I'll take the morning-after pill to feel more sure, okay?"

"Blair, I don't know if this is right."

She was losing her temper a little. "You are being so annoying, Chuck. What happened to you to decline sex? You don't look like usual yourself. First you complain that I'm working too much, next you bother that our intercourses will lead to break our deals."

"That you are overworking yourself for Waldorf Designs, that is so true. I mean, you've been working every Saturday and Sunday of August to make your collection great, without taking a rightful summer break from your duties. You are human, you need to relax."

Blair put a hand on her bare hip and looked away, super bored. "Well, this is me relaxing. But you seem not to find this rest enough for me, you are contradicting your own words, Bass."

"Sex is exhausting. It would make you more tired" he said, trying to justify himself.

She raised an eyebrow. "You know what, Chuck? You're right. Sex is indeed exhausting _with you_. You are exhausting! You and all of your piece of crap advices!"

"I'm just doing and saying things for your good will."

"Then would you please stop?"

"I'm sorry I wanted to stop you from blaming things on me if something goes bad with your clothing line or other things come out unplanned."

She opened her mouth in disbelief. "You are so transparent."

"And you are stubborn." He said, then he walked away leaving her there under the running water of the shower.

The water had gotten cold while they were discussing, the same way their warmed up make out had cooled down. She didn't know for which thing she was angrier. Chuck trying to suggest her things, or Chuck refusing her to have sex because of a stupid agreement they had made before the spring came. One thing was sure: she felt so lonely in that shower after he had left the room, despite she was mad at him.

She could tell he was right about some things, but he wasn't completely. She had to finish to check the last details for her very first collection at Waldorf Designs and that was her priority at the moment. She had wanted him to ease her mind a little by sexing her up, but he had failed so badly at it she wasn't even sure that was what she really needed.

…

As expected, they stopped talking to each other for the whole day. Chuck ate lunch alone in one restaurant not far while she ordered food at home. When he came back – because she heard the door opening – he did not look for her to let her know he had returned.

She spent her afternoon on the computer trying to check things for her company while her daughter was in her stroller playing with some toy. She didn't know what Chuck was doing and she tried to tell herself that she didn't care, he could have gone back to New York for all she cared at the moment.

She spent a day in lonesome and then decided to go to bed with Lexie. "We better go to bed, sweetie. Mama has to check on more things tomorrow, for her fashion show."

They climbed the stairs until they reached the bedroom. Blair's hand hesitated on the doorknob. _What if he's inside?_ She suddenly asked herself. _Who cares_, she then added, but still wasn't able to get in the room.

She sighed one last time before she got the guts to open just to find the room empty. She heaved a sigh of relief this time, he wasn't there.

"Thank God" she muttered to herself.

…

She guessed Chuck had gone to sleep in one of their spare rooms, so when her alarm clock ticked the following morning, she went to check on him.

She had imagined right. Chuck was in the furthest room from the one where she and Lexie were staying. She didn't know but the thought of their distance made her sad. But she had no time to think about this, she realized. She had a fashion show to set up and clothes to check. She couldn't think about her husband and his woman-with-period swingy moods.

Anyway this was really hard to achieve because she had seen Chuck take the baby out at ten in the morning. "We're going to the beach" he had informed her, and she had been careful not to lock eyes with him and she had tried not to stare at his body leaving the house, but it wasn't an easy task to do. Despite being angry at him, she was feeling too lonely with no one to talk to... it was really sad. She wasn't sure how she had been silent after his words.

But her loneliness was about to end.

"I told you I would come for the fashion show, did I?"

"Serena!" Blair exclaimed as her best friend entered the holiday house. "I wasn't expecting you so early" they hugged each other.

"Well, it's a surprise! We decided that it was better if we came here few days before the show so that we could enjoy the Hamptons."

"_We_?" Blair wondered, since she wasn't seeing anybody else other than Serena. As soon as she asked, she heard footsteps and tried to see who was coming.

Serena smiled and shrugged and turned as she heard the steps. "This is Ben, Blair. My new boyfriend. Lily and Rufus are on their way here too."

Ben, a blond guy with clear eyes, appeared from behind Serena. It was Serena's classic type, Blair wasn't really surprised of the choice. He extended his hand to Blair and she managed to make an awkward smile.

"They're coming to see the show too?"

"Yes, Lily told me to say that she's really excited for it! She can't wait."

"Me either" she giggled. "In fact now I have to keep working to make it more memorable. Make yourself comfortable, guys."

…

Blair was still working when Chuck got back home with Alexandra. She heard the door open and turned her head by reflex, only to lock eyes with him for an instant. Serena was also there and she was reading a magazine; her best friend had told her that she could stay in the same room as hers as long as she would not talk too much.

Serena raised her head from the magazine when Lexie talked. "Mama!" she exclaimed when she spotted Blair on the sofa.

"Hi there, guys!" the blonde said with excitement. "It's been so long since we saw each other."

"Hello, sis. I didn't know you were coming, I would have asked the maid to prepare a room for you and your beau."

Serena frowned. "How do you know I have a... whatever, I just came to see Blair's show. My boss gave me a week off."

"Glad things are going well with your new PR gig" he complimented her.

Serena grinned. "Well, thanks."

"Mama! Mama!" Lexie shouted again, trying to get off Chuck's embrace. She knew how to crawl, but it would take too much time for her to reach Blair if he let her go.

Blair looked up and met Chuck's eyes for a moment. It was quick, but after that glance, he walked to where she was and gave their daughter to Blair.

"I have to go take a shower now. I'll see you later, sis." Chuck said before he walked away to go upstairs.

Blair sighed then. She had secretly hoped that their arms would touch in the moment he would be passing her the baby, but it didn't happen. He had been so careful. How much she was angry at him.

"Blair?" Serena called her, and she lazily turned.

"What?" she looked so confused.

The blonde looked suspicious. "Is everything okay?"

"It depends on which _everything_ you mean" she turned back to her daughter.

Serena rolled her eyes. "Chuck."

Blair managed a smile she hoped was credible, and turned again. "In this case, there is nothing imperfect on that side, Serena."

"Are you sure about that? You two seemed cold."

"Since when do you lecture how me and Chuck behave, S?"

"I'm sorry I was concerned. It was just a feeling, nothing more" she snorted. "If it didn't bother you so much, why did you answer so roughly?"

"My question wasn't rough. You just are seeing things that don't exist."

"If you say so..." Serena shrugged and got back to her magazine.

…

"So – Ben, what are you doing for a living?" Chuck asked at dinner time. The four of them were sitting at the square table of the dining room and were discussing between the meals.

Serena's new guy, Ben, seemed reluctant to answer him. "I'll actually start working in September after a long time. I went out of prison few months ago."

Blair was surprised and Serena caught her stare and decided to salvage the situation before she knew her best friend would judge. "Where he was so wrongly accused, I'll tell you."

"I see. Well then what you used to do before you were, uhm, there?" Chuck asked, continuing his conversation.

Ben seemed relieved for the little change. "I was a teacher at a private school near New York."

"Yes" Serena interrupted him again by taking her boyfriend's hand. "He was my teacher too when I went to boarding school." She looked at him and grinned knowingly.

"Your... teacher? But Ben, you look so young" Blair commented.

He shrugged. "I'm just twenty-eight years old, in fact. I started teaching after I got my degree and I have done it so until someone thought I was sleeping with their daughter."

"Which it wasn't true" Serena added.

"Is this way you went to jail?" Chuck asked.

The guy nodded. "Yes. Actually, it was very embarrassing for me and my family. But they've always believed in me, no matter how crazy the assumptions against me got. There weren't real proofs but they still sent me to serve in prison... destroyed my career."

Blair looked at Chuck and they exchanged a quick glance. It was like a sign of understanding between them, an automatic gesture at the word family.

"But now you're working, right?" Chuck assumed. "You restored your life."

Ben smiled. "I do, yes. Thanks to Serena and my family, many have accepted me back to society. She helped me show that I have never been the man that wealthy woman who accused me in the first place, claimed me to be."

"It's great your loved ones supported you when you were in the toughest period of your life, having to prove the world you're guilty and good at your job" Blair was losing herself in her talking. "Sometimes you can't stop working because there are things that need to be made to be successful" she leered at her husband.

"Not when you overwork yourself, though. Do you agree?" he wondered, asking Ben.

"But if you need to prove you're good and you have _one_ chance to do it, would you blew it up to relax?" Blair also asked the poor blond.

Ben was confused. He didn't know which one of them had to answer first.

"If you are really worth of something, you won't fail if you take few minutes of your day to have a little fun" Chuck continued.

"Fun is for losers when you have to fix problems. You can't run away from them. Isn't that true, Ben?"

"Come on, even Einstein took breaks one time or another before he discovered the theory of relativity."

"Yes, but he didn't have an imminent deadline!"

Serena was getting annoyed. "Would you both please STOP?" she stood up from her chair so that her voice would be heard. Both Blair and Chuck turned to look at her. "It's evident you are having some subtle discussion with each other as you _always_ do. Be adult and talk about it! Don't use my boyfriend to debate about your arguments. Let's go out, Ben."

Ben nodded at his girlfriend and then they both left the room. They couldn't even raise their heads from the table after they heard the door closing behind Serena and her guy, but they knew none of them would be standing up to leave the other alone at that point.

Blair heard him sigh, he was the first to talk. "Your collection looks great from the scrapbook."

"The enhanced version is even better" she replied, still keeping her head low.

"I'm sure it's beautiful. You've made it." He said, talking slow and muttering the words. "Look, Blair, I'm -"

"You were right about relaxing. You were right about many things but it's hard for me to say you were." She shrugged and managed a little smile.

"No. You were right. This is the only chance you have to make everything look wonderful and to surprise your mother and it is okay for you to put so much efforts into it. You will... rest after everything will be over."

She shook her head and finally stared at him. He had raised his head long before. "I'm mentally and physically tired, Chuck. I'm drained. I'm taking pills to feel better but I'm not. Not really anyway, because the strength I gain with sleep, I use it to work."

"Blair, you will have an amazing show on Saturday and stun everyone." He took her hands into his and caressed the side with his thumb. "I'm sure of this. If you want to take a day off, take it. We can stay in and watch a movie with our baby."

"But if one minute ago you were saying I should rest after the fashion show? We are so weird" she giggled. "And now we are excusing each other by saying we were both right. You know what? None of us was, I've decided. But we can fix this. We should compromise."

"Which kind of compromise we should make? I'm fine either way."

"I will take one day off like you wanted me to – tomorrow. And then work no-stop until the day my collection will be presented."

"Seems reasonable."

"Are you okay with it? Because, like you also noticed, it's true I only have this shot. I can't lose my chance. And I will be more free if this goes right - next week."

He nodded. "I agree. But only if you take your day off with me and Alexandra."

"Yes, thank you. I've felt so lonely yesterday when we weren't talking to each other."

"It's so pleasant to hear it from your own voice" he smirked, while she rolled her eyes. "Then we're fine now?"

Blair wasn't sure. "No. You have something else to do for me, to be fully forgiven."

"I guess I know what you're talking about" he winked.

"I'll go prepare the bathroom, then" Blair proudly told him as she stood up.

"I'll come in a minute."

Chuck watched as his wife walked away from the table to go upstairs. Damn, she was so beautiful and so hard to bear with at times, but he loved her so much anyway.

…

"What an amazing shower we've had." Blair commented later that night, after a long and cool hour spent in the box of the bathroom.

"It was refreshing."

She moved her body closer to his until they could touch. "You know what, Chuck... I think I may be ready to have another child."

He turned slowly to look her in the eyes. "Are you sure?"

"Yes, I'm totally sure I want to endure other nine months of back pains and all of the rest."

"But we've used protection in the bathroom. You placed it on the sink so we wouldn't have to travel to this room naked to get one."

She shook her head and caressed his cheek. "I didn't mean tonight, silly. Near future. Maybe after Alexandra's first birthday. We don't have to hurry, we have a lot of time."

"Yes, we definitely have it."

"I just want our first daughter to have everything she wants and the attention she deserves before our second baby is born. She needs to get equal focus."

"She will get it. You don't have to worry about this. When baby number two will decide to grace us, we'll try to act the best we can so that Lexie won't feel left out or jealous of the newborn. I promise."

She smiled and then moved a little to kiss him. "Alright. Now we better sleep because we're both tired and tomorrow I want to do a lot of things with you on my day off."

"This is the enthusiasm I've always loved about you. Goodnight, Blair."

"Love you, Chuck."

…...

I think the next chapter (or two) may be the last ones for this story. It was awesome writing this, but I want to start writing something new soon. :) Hope you liked this chapter!


	30. Epilogue

After a lot of thinking, I have decided that this would be the end of this story. I had already written it would have max 2 or 3 chapters, but then I believed it was better to end it at 30. That is why this is the epilogue, and is set two years and half after the last chapter I have posted. I really hope you will be happy with the end, as I have been quite glad to write this fan fiction. I will write more fan fictions in the future, and I hope you will read those too. Thanks to who has stuck with this story until the end. The ones who reviewed, favorited/followed the story, or simply read it. Thanks to my friends who helped me to resolve tough points of the plot and who trusted me to continue it. I rarely finish my fan fictions, so this is a big goal for me as a FF writer. Thank you!

….

Blair felt a hand patting her cheek. She was sure that it was too early to wake up, that day sure was going to be long and she wanted to sleep. "It's not dawn yet, Chuck" she whispered in her sleep, as the hand continued to move. It was frustrating, she needed to rest.

"Momma, wake up!"

She quickly opened her eyes to find her daughter next to her bed. Blair never ignored her little girl's plea, and Alexandra usually had a good reason to bother her so early.

"What's wrong, sweetie?"

The child pouted and then made a gesture with her hand. "Pee" she said.

"You need to pee?" she asked, and the kid quickly nodded her head. Blair reluctantly went out of bed and took the kid's hand, directed to the bathroom. Alexandra had just turned three and they were teaching her how to use the potty-chair. Blair helped her baby take off her pajama pants and undies and helped her sit until Lexie had finished. "Good baby" she cooed her, looking how she was getting better at that _adult_ routine.

"Momma, pee was good?" Lexie wondered with her big hazel eyes.

"You were great, honey" she answered as she scooped her up. She glanced at a clock on the wall while she walked back to Lexie's bedroom.

She nodded. "Dada still asleep, momma."

"We should wake your father up. He doesn't want to get late to the ceremony."

Mother and child went back to the main bedroom, where Chuck was sleeping. The night before he had got back from Miami after a three-days meeting to acquire another building. Lexie had prepared him a gift, a little messed up drawing that should had pictured their family.

The child was totally her dad's girl.

Blair put Lexie back on her feet and the kid run to Chuck. Instead of patting his cheek like she had done with her mother, she caressed her father's. It was so kind.

"Papa, wake up" she whispered.

Chuck moved under the sheets, but still didn't open his eyes. "Mmmh" he growled.

"Papa, wake" Lexie continued, still soothing her dad's cheek with her hand.

Finally, he opened his eyes and smiled at her. "Look who is here."

"Papa!" the girl screamed, throwing herself against Chuck's body to hug him.

He hugged her back and kissed her cheek. "You came to wake your dad up, baby girl. He was just dreaming about you."

Lexie recoiled back a little and watched him with a puzzled expression. "Me?"

"Yes, you. Dad was just imagining you dressed as a pretty princess with the gown your mother made you for today's celebration. You were dad's girlfriend and everyone envied you because you were the most beautiful girl of the party."

"Really?"

"Dad doesn't lie, does he."

Lexie shook her head.

"Dad may not lie but dad is currently late for his preparations" Blair interrupted the conversation. "Nate texted me that he'd come early."

Chuck adjusted his daughter on his lap and sat down. "Is he? Damn. Then I'll have to get ready very soon." He put Lexie on the carpet and stood up. "Daddy is going to get dressed."

Lexie nodded. "I want to dress too!"

"Yes, Lexie. You will. Dorota is coming over." Blair informed her.

"Yay!" the girl shouted, then as if she suddenly forgot about her father, she run into her mother's arms to be picked up.

"Is everything alright with Serena?" Chuck asked out of the blue while Blair was still there.

"You know how she is. She must be anxious."

Chuck giggled. "Well, I bet anyone would be in her place. Above all when you have to get married to that groom."

"I thought you and him had become friends. You once were."

He shrugged. "I wouldn't call us friends, but not even enemies. Let's just say I am not against him. And if Serena is in love with him, well... that makes me happy."

"She deserves to be happy too."

"She does."

"At what time did Nate say he would come?" he asked, changing the topic.

"Nine. Now it's seven-thirty. You have time. But I have to be quick."

He nodded. "Let's hope Dorota comes soon."

Blair nodded too, then left the room. She had to check that everything was in place and had to reassure Serena that she would be coming over in one hour. She remembered being so anxious on the day of her wedding, but her best friend was definitely too much giggly.

She went to the villa Lily had booked for Serena's wedding so that she could help prepare her. Alexandra had insisted to come, and Dorota followed along.

"B, thank God you're here!" Serena hugged her once she appeared in her room.

"Calm down, Serena. Zen."

"I am not nervous. Just excited!" Serena smiled like a child.

"More than excited, I'd say you look like someone that smelled marijuana." Blair admitted.

The blonde rolled her eyes. "I'm not that girl anymore, B. And, by the way, it's normal to be so giddy on your wedding day. It only happens once, and I want to enjoy it forever."

"That's the spirit. I'm sure you'll look amazing, S."

Serena smiled, then she suddenly felt the tears prick her eyes. "No, no. I shouldn't be crying."

Blair shook her friend. "Stop the waterworks, Serena! You will ruin your make up."

The two laughed as Blair's eyes started to water a little too. Once they calmed down, Serena noticed Lexie. "Alexandra, you look beautiful with that dress."

"Momma made it" the kid said proudly.

"Yes, momma is good. She also made my wedding dress" she turned and grinned at her best friend.

"That's cute" she said to the child, then turned to Blair. "Are things going well between you and Chuck by the way?"

Blair rolled her eyes and shrugged. "I can't say. He wants another baby, but I don't. It's too early."

"Well, didn't you want to wait until Lexie was one year and half to have another kid? She is three, enough time has passed to try that."

"We did, Serena. But I am happy with a girl for now."

"Just another baby...?"

She glared at her friend. "I thought you were on my team." Serena stuck her tongue out. "And, by the way, it's too late."

"What?"

"Because I'm already pregnant." She admitted.

"Woah, B, that's great! You should let him know soon. Call him now!" Serena grabbed her phone from the dresser and handed it to her friend, who tried to give it her back.

"We should have a private conversation, S."

"Quick, make that call!" Serena handed her phone back.

"No! I won't tell Chuck I'm pregnant again! We need to talk face to face."

"Too late" Serena declared, showing Blair her phone. Chuck had picked up.

Blair grabbed the phone soon. "Chuck? Are you there?"

"When were you going to tell me you were pregnant?"

"Later. But now you know, so it doesn't matter. Are you... angry?" She questioned cautiously.

"Yes. I am super angry because I wasn't the first person you confessed this big news to."

Blair felt relieved. "I wanted to tell you after the wedding, but Serena ruined my surprise."

"Leave Serena alone, it's her wedding day. We'll talk about this later. Me and Nate are coming over in one hour."

"Okay" she replied with a sad tone. "Then I'll see you both later." Chuck hung up, and she thought what a big mess she had done.

….

At the end of the day, the celebration had been a success. A lot of guests had been invited, because of Serena's status and work. Everything had run smoothly, and Serena and her groom had already left town for their honeymoon.

Her best friend had finally realized her dream of love, and her husband didn't seem so bad as both Blair and Chuck had expected him to be.

Serena had a short lived fling with a teacher, Ben, before Blair launched her clothing line. But this guy didn't want to give her much since he loved his career before everyone, so eventually Serena got back with Dan Humphrey before he got dumped for the same reason as Ben.

Carter came unexpected after few months. Serena didn't want to fall back in love with him. As much as she knew, he had betrayed her. But he explained his misunderstanding to her and promised he would never do such thing again. After one year of engagement, they decided to get married and everyone seemed happy of it after Carter had reformed his image.

Now it looked as if everybody was exceptionally giddy, besides for the Bass'. The air in their limousine was a little suffocating in the ride back home after the ceremony had ended.

Chuck and Blair had only exchanged few words at the wedding. He had acted cold, and she knew it was because she had delayed the good news.

"Beautiful wedding, wasn't it?" Blair whispered – Lexie was already sleeping and she didn't want to wake her up.

"Great organization, good food... I'm sure everyone loved it."

"Yeah, that steak was great. Did you like it?"

He nodded, but didn't add any more words. Instead, he closed his eyes and seemed as if he was sleeping too. This angered Blair, she never thought he'd be this enraged.

After a couple of minutes, she tried again to open him up. "Chuck. I know you're ignoring me because I didn't tell you that I was pregnant, but I said I was sorry."

"I'm not angry" he quickly dismissed her assumption.

"Then why are you being so cryptic?"

"Because I'm tired, Blair. Am I not allowed to be tired after a trip to another state?"

Blair sighed. "No, you are not. I thought you wanted another baby!"

He kept his eyes closed and his mouth shut. Blair was on the verge, so she thought for the night it was better not to argue with her husband anymore since he wanted to rest. When they got to their house, Chuck told her that he needed to have a chat with the driver – apparently he had to go somewhere the day after and wanted to tell Arthur.

Blair gave Alexandra to Dorota and the women got in the elevator. Damn, how much that was frustrating.

"Not worry about Mr Chuck." Dorota told her. "He just tired, tomorrow will be happy for baby."

"I guess so, Dorota. He _must_ be. He wanted a second child!"

"I'm sure Mr Chuck is happy. Wait till he gonna tell you."

Blair nodded, then the two parted ways once they got to the penthouse. Dorota took Lexie to her bedroom and she removed her heels. She wanted a drink, but she just remembered that she was pregnant so she sighed heavily.

"Being pregnant sucks" she muttered.

"No, it doesn't." She turned, and Chuck was there with a glass of champagne in his hands.

"Chuck, what are you doing with champagne?"

"How come what am I doing? I'm drinking it, that's what am I doing. I would have taken a glass for you, but you are not allowed to drink anything besides water."

She glared at him. "I am allowed to drink champagne every once in a while."

"Blair." He called her, interrupting her complaint.

"Yes?"

"We need to celebrate."

"What for?"

"Your pregnancy. What else did you think?"

"Maybe your latest acquisition in Florida?" she asked. Oh God, she sounded dumb.

He laughed. "Really, Blair, when did we celebrate for those? I don't care about them. What is wealth without family? The only acquisition I care about right now, is right here" he pointed to her belly. "That's all that matters."

She smiled. "I'm really glad you're not sulking."

"I wasn't sulking. I was thinking. I wanted to make you a welcome surprise because of the good news, but it was too late and I could only find some champagne in the wine cellar."

"Well, you could have taken whiskey, scotch, vodka... it didn't matter."

"If only you weren't pregnant" he massaged his temples. "But I'm happy you are. I've missed it."

"You've missed me being pregnant?"

"You were fun when you were pregnant."

She glared at him. "It wasn't fun at all! All of my dresses were too tight-fitting and my back ached very much. And those pills I had to take! That doesn't sound like fun."

"Yes. But fun was when we took bathrooms together and went to the Hamptons, wasn't it?"

"Alright, I'll give you that."

"This time will be different, anyway. We _are_ prepared." He said, then he grabbed her hand.

She looked at their hands and grinned. "We'll put all of our efforts this time so that we will not make the same mistakes again."

"I agree. And my son right here will be the heir to my company."

She frowned. "How are you sure it's a boy? What if it's another girl?"

"Nah, I know that it's a boy. I can feel it."

**THE END**


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